Kay hesitated, much to my surprise. His face was still stern but I could see a hint of doubt in his eyes. “What if it’s not for us? What if…we wanted to leave?” He asked finally.
“I’ll make preparations for that if that’s what you’re really concerned about.” My father replied hastily, digging his hands through a nearby box. “I’ll take a compass from our supplies and make a map as we go, although I can’t guarantee its accuracy. Is that acceptable?” My father replied.
Kay’s eyes landed on the table in front of us and his fingers rapped nervously upon it. My father pulled out a small, blue compass from the bottom of the box he was rummaging in and looked up at Kay, waving it around in the air. Kay eventually nodded. “It’s worth a shot I guess…”
As my father started searching through the papers on his desk, I finally realized what had been eating away at the back of my mind. “What about the Pirates of the Sands?”
My father stopped what he was doing at the words and both men stared at me with blank expressions. “What about them?” Kay uttered in a disapproving huff.
“They travel the continent pretty fast, don’t they?” I turned my attention from one man to the next as they quickly glanced at each other, “I’m pretty sure they know exactly where my town is.”
Kay shook his head before I even finished my sentence. “Their whirlwind is for Pirates only. They hardly ever speak to us, let alone allow us into their personal circle. It’s a waste of time. Besides, how would we find our way back here if we wanted to? I’m pretty sure they’re not a transport service.”
I furrowed my brow. “Does it hurt to ask? To at least gather some directions or advice?” Kay waved me off and returned his attention to my father. “The Kay I know would never give up so easily.” I replied loudly with a hint of anger.
“Well maybe I’m not ‘the Kay you know’.” He responded with an irritated tone. The words took me by surprise and I looked at him for a moment as the thoughts I had tried to ignore resurfaced. He was completely right. He isn’t the Kay I know…and I’ve known that for a while now.
“But I can’t give up…” I whispered to myself but my father overheard it, surprisingly nodding in agreement.
“If it’s just for directions, Kay…they might oblige. They never speak to us, sure…but does anyone ever speak to them?”
“They might not be as stubborn as you think, Kay.” I replied, trying to swallow my feelings.
Kay shook his head angrily but finally obliged. “Fine; we can ask, but I‘m telling you it won’t do any good.”
“Meet me at their gate in half an hour,” Chester said. “I’ll get our supplies together.”
“Gate?” I asked as Kay had already turned to leave. “Where is that?”
My father looked towards the retreating figure in the tent and said, “Ask Kay; he’ll show you the way.” Chester returned to his papers and I quickly caught up to my former friend outside. I stopped to speak but Kay merely glared at me and pushed past me, causing me to stumble on my feet as he charged further into the Outpost.
“What is your problem?” I called after him.
He stopped suddenly and turned on his heels. “My problem? My problem is you! I was perfectly happy here and with what little I remembered. Life was good…until you showed up. You ruined everything; you just had to take it upon yourself to ‘solve’ everything, didn’t you? Did you ever think about how we would feel about all this? Huh? No, of course not; you thought only of yourself. I refuse to believe those are my real memories of you. The vial’s fake and you’ll never convince me otherwise.” The words sprung from his lips in heated vitriol, his voice loud enough to gather the stares of nearby townspeople. After a few huffs Kay turned once again and stormed off. I paused, becoming increasingly aware of the staring faces all around me. With some distance finally between me and the exploding volcano, I slowly followed after him, hoping he was headed to the Pirate’s gate. His words stung more than I had originally thought as my mind raced over them yet I couldn’t help but agree with him. What if Kay had a family out here? What if my father did? Would I have still done this? Because, in the end…their happiness didn’t even cross my mind. Was I really that selfish? Perhaps the truth isn’t always the best answer.
*
I had followed behind Kay at a great distance, eventually trailing him to a large chain-link gate that lay near the protective sandstorm on the outskirts of town. The gate was not far from the storehouse, actually, and I took the opportunity to return to the medical tent and gather my things, hoping the break would allow Kay to cool off. With a now empty satchel that was too small to fit my diary into, I tossed it aside and adjusted my medical bag around my hip once again, relieved to see that my supplies were still intact. I procrastinated in the tent for a few minutes, finishing off the last two apples that I had been given and struggling to find the courage to face Kay once again. I wondered when we would be leaving…tonight? Tomorrow? My father seemed ready to go as soon as we were decided but the third member of our trio may be harder to convince. With the thought of returning home now fresh on my mind, I finally left to meet Kay and my father at the gate, finding myself growing excited at the prospect of travelling back together. Maybe the journey will bring back their memories on their own?
Kay did not look impressed. He still stood where I had left him, his arms folded firmly across his chest and I noticed him sigh when he spotted me. Yep, this should be a fun meeting. I stood next to the fence, smiling warmly at Kay and eventually realizing that no matter what I tried, there would be no civility here tonight; not between the two of us, anyway.
“Where’s my dad?” I asked him and he gave me a slight glance.
“Who?”
“Chester.” I corrected myself. Did Kay know that, yet? Had they spoken about their lost memories together or were they too fueled by emotion to discuss it yet?
Kay did not look surprised by my answer but he didn’t exactly react to much of anything at the moment. “He’s not here yet.” The words came fast and sharply and I nodded in response.
It was an uncomfortable wait for my father and I hugged my journal tightly to my chest, embracing its familiarity. I ran my fingers up and down its spine as I took in my surroundings and found myself staring at what lay within the gate. There were two large men inside, both of which dressed in bright, baby blue tunics with blue tattoos splashed across their face. Each guard had piercing green iris’ with a hardly visible pupil; it was rather pretty to look at, although it must have been disconcerting for them to see me watching so intently. The two men guarded a very large tent in the centre of the gated area and it spurred forth Kay’s rough voice as he watched me staring.
“Gatekeepers.” Kay said coldly and that was the last word he spoke to me until my father arrived.
Chester had a large backpack with him, similar to the one I had to leave behind with the banshees. I heard the sound of vials clinking together inside as he drew near. “Supplies are all set and waiting for us when we’re done,” my father sounded almost excited when he arrived, “I also included a compass in each one, Kay, so that we’ll always have backups.” Chester smiled at the both of us and it raised my hopes about things to come. Maybe, in time, Kay would come around too.
My father turned his gaze to the large tent and motioned to the gatekeepers. “We’d like to speak with your representative.” He yelled out to them. The gatekeepers looked at each other for a moment before one of them went inside the tent. “Let me do the talking,” my father told us as we waited for the guard to return, “This isn’t the first time I’ve spoken with Nathaniel.”
I felt my skin turn to ice, even in the blazing heat around us. Nathaniel? The same Nathaniel from the schoolhouse? I had completely forgotten what Kay had told me; that Nate was their representative. I grew even more nervous for what was about to happen.
The guards eventually came to unlock the gate and they guided us towards the tent. With the sandstorm so close by, I found the w
ind picking up wildly and while it was blowing dirt directly into my face I took minimal notice of it. My feet felt heavy as I drudged along the sands, the slit of the tent growing ever closer. I’m finally going to be face-to-face with the man I’ve heard so much about during my travels…but just what kind of man will he turn out to be?
The flaps of the tent blew wildly in the wind as we entered and I was immediately surprised by how bright the inside was. There were lanterns burning brightly all over the place, casting eerie shadows of the storage boxes in the small enclosure.
“Hello Nathaniel.” My dad smiled at the massive man sitting in a wooden chair before us but he stared at us skeptically.
Nathaniel had to have been at least seven feet tall. He was a brawny man with short brown hair and a five o’clock shadow; something I had heard my dad say many times when I was growing up. Nathaniel had one long, white strand of hair that ended half way down his back that appeared to float on its own; it was very similar to the woman in the storehouse and I wondered if they were related.
“You remember me?” Nathaniel growled in response.
My father’s face turned sombre as he nodded. “Yes…you could say that. I may not personally remember but I’ve been shown what I’ve forgotten.” My father pulled out his Memory Vial from his backpack.
Nathaniel narrowed his eyes at it. “Krastanov?” He eventually asked.
My father nodded again. “And I believe I owe you an apology.” Nathaniel said nothing as my father put the vial back. “We’ve come here to ask a favour.”
The Pirate laughed. “You know how well that went last time.”
My father smiled sheepishly. “I know…but things are different this time.”
“Oh are they?” Nathaniel stood up, his massive frame towering over the three of us. I instinctively cowered away from him.
“Yes; I’m not here to blackmail you. I’ve come to fix my mistakes…I’m asking for forgiveness.”
“Blackmail?” I blurted my thoughts out loud and everyone turned to look at me. “I-I thought the vial clouded over when you looked at it?” I continued on in a nervous tone as Nathaniel stared me down.
“It would not show what happened when I left town for the last time…” My father started, “…but it did show what happened the first time I met our Provider. I had journeyed past the Meeting Place and originally found nothing of interest; I was tempted to return home. But the wind was blowing in my favour that day; I started to hear the faint sound of voices coming from the cliffside on my left. I followed a hidden and winding trail through the earth until I stumbled upon a cave…and Nathaniel. He was arguing with a young man and they both jumped when they saw me. I had overheard parts of their conversation…” Chester looked at me with a stern face as he spoke, “I thought I could use that knowledge to my benefit, so I threatened to expose them as Pirates if they didn’t give in to anything I demanded; that’s how I received so many things for you and your mother.”
I didn’t know what to say. I never pictured my father as someone who could so willingly blackmail someone for their own gain; he was always so friendly and happy…he was my hero. How could he do something like this?
“Why…?” I eventually said. “Why did you feel the need to go out there in the first place?”
“I had been shorted on the goods I had requested at the last Provisioning. When I asked about it, the Mediator responded in harsh tones that ‘we received what we deserved’ and that ‘we should be lucky to even have a Provider at all’. I was sloughed off and degraded; we were treated like lesser beings and I wasn’t going to stand for it. So, I decided to find the Provider myself and get to the bottom of things. That’s when I found an opportunity and took advantage of it.”
I cast my eyes warily at Nathaniel but he showed no emotion at my father’s admittance. I took a moment to respond, biting my lip and tapping my foot in irritation. “It wasn’t yours to take, dad. The Mediator was right; we were lucky to have a Provider. They offered to help us at no cost and you got greedy.” I shook my head and looked away. I never thought a day would come where I could actually be ashamed of my father. How could he?
My father looked at me with big eyes. Could he possibly be embarrassed by it, too? Only time will tell, I suppose. “I’m not the one you need to be talking to, here.” I mumbled the reply to him.
With a sigh, Chester turned back towards the Pirate. “I’m sorry, Nathaniel. I’ve come here to atone. Will you help me?”
“…your problem lies in more than just blackmail, Chester.” Nathaniel had moved closer and narrowed his eyes, his huge shadow engulfing my father. The three of us looked at the Pirate in confusion. “When you found yourself out in the wasteland, on your own…what did you do?” Nathaniel’s voice bellowed throughout the small tent.
“I…I searched for a way home.” My father shrunk away from the Pirate’s booming voice, a sight I was not used to seeing. Since when did my dad ever shy away from…well, anything?
“And what happened when you could not find your way?” Nathaniel’s eyes bored into Chester.
“I…I stumbled upon Dr. Krastanov. I asked him for help.”
“No, you asked him for the easy way out. To just forget all the responsibilities you left at home,” the Pirate glanced quickly at me before returning his focus to my father, “You should never have forgotten where you came from, Chester. You should never have given up the fight; your daughter didn’t.” The room was quiet as Nathaniel’s words hung on the air. My father looked down at the soft sand below us and said nothing. “Have you come to the realization that you can’t just run from your problems anymore? You can’t just wipe away your fears and start over?”
My father nodded. “Yes…”
“You can’t cheat life or you’ll learn nothing.” Nathaniel stood tall above my father as he scolded him, while my father shrunk away and averted his gaze as though a young child might.
Finally the Pirate looked over to Kay. “And what about you? What have you learned?” Kay flinched at the mention of his name but refused to acknowledge the Pirate that called out to him. “Huh,” Nathaniel said, “nothing, apparently. He is not ready for forgiveness yet, Chester.”
“But maybe home will change his mind.” Chester interjected hastily.
“Home?” Nathaniel arched his brow as he turned back towards his seat.
“That’s what we’ve come here to ask for; help in getting back home.”
“Ah, so that’s how you hope to atone.” The Pirate of the Sands nodded and smiled as he sank himself back down into his chair. “We’ve been waiting a long time for the people here to ask us that. Everyone here is running from something or another; instead of facing responsibility they decide to forget and wash their hands of whatever it is they started, choosing instead to live the easy life by leeching off the supplies that my own men and women provide. Supplies, mind you, that we offer from the kindness of our heart; no one should starve in the desert.”
There was a moment of silence before my father spoke. “I’m trying to make things right.”
Nathaniel suddenly looked past Chester and gazed at me. “I wonder; do you know what she had to go through to find you? She has risked her own life several times to save both of yours, of that I have no doubt. She didn’t take the easy way out; she continued on until she found you. And when that wasn’t enough, she braved the wasteland yet again to retrieve what she thought would fix things. I am impressed.” Nathaniel’s eyes darted from one man to the next. “Funny. She is more man than either of you.” The tension was thick in the air but Nathaniel’s face softened and he grinned at me. “It is good to see you again.”
I hesitated in responding; what was he talking about? Did he know that I was at the school that day? “I’m…sorry, but I don’t remember you.”
The Pirate laughed. “And honest, too! You’ve done well for yourself; it takes a strong heart to brave the wasteland. But don’t worry; I don’t expect you to know who I am. I have seen you ma
ny times but you have never met me.” I squinted my eyes in thought; just what exactly did he mean by that? “It is good to see you nonetheless. Tell me, how is your horse, Ponika?”
I gasped; how did he know about Ponika? “I…I have lost him.” I sputtered the words out, clenching my hands against my jeans as they trembled in Nathaniel’s steady gaze.
“Again?!” He raised an eyebrow at me.
“A…again, sir?” I swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“This isn’t the first time he’s wandered the desert alone, is it?” He chortled. “Never mind, then. How did you lose him?”
I glanced around at the eyes staring into me and I cast a downwards gaze to the floor. What will they think when they realize I’ve made the same mistake? “I…I erased my mind as well.” My fingers wrapped around a stray thread on my jeans and I twirled it incessantly in my sweaty palms. “Dr. Krastanov had to dispose of anything that could trigger a memory and that included Ponika…I was an idiot.” The thought caused me to flush red in embarrassment and tug at my heart at the same time. I coughed quickly, trying to cover the emotion that was billowing up at the thought of my horse. How could I possibly be going home without him? “…I’m no better than the rest of your inhabitants.”
Nathaniel paused and he attempted to study my downcast face. He put a hand to his chin before speaking again, “…that is a shame to hear he is gone. That doesn’t mean you’re the same as everyone else here, though.”
Chester and Kay were giving me sideways glances but I could barely raise my head to look at the Pirate; his imposing stature intimidated me. “What do you mean?” I finally eked out a response.
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