God, help me handle this the right way. Help me know who I can trust, Lord. Is Sarah among them? Or am I blinded by my feelings for her? He took a deep breath. Open my eyes to Your plans for me.
“What’s taking her so long?” her father asked, interrupting Nick’s conversation with God. “Is she in trouble?” he asked pointedly.
“They’re probably just discussing the incident,” he said hopefully. He thought he knew Lieutenant Douglas well enough to be certain she wasn’t in trouble. But a year ago, he’d felt sure he knew the officers who’d betrayed him, too.
He had to get on with his life. He knew that. He knew his aunt was right; he needed to take a chance and trust again. He’d taken a huge step, sharing his feelings with Sarah. Kissing her. Being willing to keep a confidence that could come back to hurt both of them.
Some betrayals went deeper than others. Having his honor questioned had been a blow he’d been totally unprepared for. This, he realized, was one of the many shadows he would have to deal with for the rest of his life—that shadow of doubt. He had needed to throw out the net and find out if he’d fall through, or if God would truly answer his prayers. He had prayed for truth to prevail in the trial, and it seemed that God had answered his prayers. Charges against him had been dropped.
So why was he still waiting for the worst to happen? Why did he still question whether he would be strong enough to make the right decisions at the right times?
A yellow chicken costume flashed through his mind—Sarah, lying on the ground, the rape suspect kicking her….
Nick wasn’t sure he’d pass this test. The incident at the festival—seeing her hurt—had rattled him.
Confirming that his partner was fighting the same feelings toward him as he was her had shaken him.
Kissing her, though—that had been what had knocked him off his feet. Now he wondered if it would be the final blow to his career.
Was he really in love? Or was that, too, another test?
It wasn’t two minutes later when Sarah appeared at his side. “I’m sorry I took so long,” she said. “I was arguing with the lieutenant,” she whispered. “I turned in my badge and weapon….” She looked right at Nick.
His jaw fell. “You what?” That was the only question he could voice publicly, of the dozen others he wanted to ask the pint-size powerhouse. What are you thinking? was next on the list. Have you lost your mind? ranked high up there, too. “Why?”
“Sergeant Matthews,” Lieutenant Douglas said as he walked into the waiting room, holding Sarah’s weapon and badge. “We need to talk,” he ordered. “Meet me downtown.”
Shadows of doubt closed in around Nick. He looked at Sarah, who had tears brimming in her eyes as she glanced toward her sister. “Yes sir, I’ll be right there,” he said.
As soon as his supervisor left, he turned back to Sarah, leading her to a seat in a quiet corner. “Why?” was all he said.
“I can’t risk my badge, Nick. Honor is far more important than a job. I have to get to the bottom of this. You know the rest,” she said softly, glancing toward her parents, but ignoring their curious perusal. “Call me later. I doubt I’ll get much sleep today.”
He nodded. “You shouldn’t go through with the move today, Sarah. Not until we catch this…creep,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to take the chance of him following you.” He longed to hold her and protect her, to shut out all the betrayal that seemed to surround them.
She closed her eyes and nodded. “I don’t think any of us will be in shape to move anything now. There’s a lot to think about. I need to get more information from the Web, to stop this sicko before he hurts anyone else. I couldn’t, in good conscience, pay full attention to that when I’m wearing the badge, Nick.”
“No, you shouldn’t be doing it at all,” he whispered, mindful of the questioning glances her parents were sending them. “I need to go, Sarah.” He patted her shoulder. “You call me anytime. Especially today. We need to discuss what happened with the lieutenant.”
She nodded. “It was my idea, Nick. He argued with me not to turn in my badge. We didn’t talk about what may happen after the rapist is caught…whether I can come back. I just know I had to do this. I understand now why God brought me back here….” She rubbed her eyes, which were once again leaking tears.
“I’ll be sure to add an extra dose of thanks to my prayers today, then.” He understood what she wasn’t saying. They were frighteningly alike that way, and it had nothing to do with the few weeks they had been patrolling together.
“I’d call you in five minutes if I could, but since you’ll be in with Lieutenant Douglas, why don’t you phone me when you get home? I don’t care what time it is.”
An hour later Nick was still in the lieutenant’s office, evaluating the events of the evening, assessing the call at the festival and the situation at Sarah’s sister’s house.
“Roberts turned in her badge. Any idea why?” Douglas asked at last.
“I was as surprised as you were. All along, she’s been mindful of the lines she had to draw with her sister’s assault case. Tonight must have been the final straw. I’m not sure.”
The lieutenant studied him in silence. “Did she seem like she was losing control?”
Nick said another quick prayer for wisdom. “She’s as human as the rest of us, sir. This has been a difficult situation, yet Officer Roberts has maintained a high level of professionalism throughout these cases. She’s following all limitations and standards of the department. When she’s revealed new information, she’s passed—”
“That’s more than I asked for, Matthews. A simple ‘no’ would have been fine.”
His lip twitched even though he tried to stop it before the lieutenant noticed. “No, she’s not lost control any more than any of the rest of us would have in her shoes.”
“Good,” Douglas said, then went on to discuss strategy for locating the rapist. “Much as I hate to involve her, especially as an unauthorized investigator, Officer Roberts has shared her intention to start looking on her own. And she’s far closer than our detectives are to figuring this out.”
“You’re not going to allow her to—”
“Of course I’m not. She’s not an officer anymore, Nick. She’s a citizen protecting her family. You know how dangerous it could be to leave any of them out there alone. And I don’t want you an easy target, either. I’m personally going to oversee this investigation.”
Nick tried to keep his composure. “You’re letting her get more deeply involved?”
“You have a better idea?” the lieutenant asked. He rattled off a list of damages not only to the victims, but to commerce and tourism in town. “No one wants to leave their houses this month. This conference promises to bring in much-needed revenue, and we need to prevent anything from happening.
The safety of our citizens is our number one priority.”
Nick didn’t dare comment. Wang wasn’t the best investigator for a computer case, but he should have been able to handle it better than this, what with the computer help that he’d been given. “What do you have as far as victims filing charges?”
“Nothing. They’ve all backed down.”
Nick didn’t like the sounds of that. “All of them?
Didn’t they at least I.D. the suspect?”
“Same description, nothing else. There’s one DNA sample, from the first victim, but it won’t be delivered until after the new year, most likely. She doesn’t want the baby to have any clue how it was conceived. She’s searching for an adoptive family, has moved out of state, and wants nothing to do with any court case.”
Nick shook his head.
The lieutenant continued, “So we have our strongest evidence out of the picture. The victim who escaped any harm—any serious physical harm, anyway—is related to our best investigator at the current time. The neighbor is still refusing to get involved, since the suspect knows where she lives. Her landlord won’t let her out of the lease for fear he’ll
lose half the block in tenants if she moves. She’s still getting threats, and just wants to finish her degree. She’s in her final semester, and hired a private bodyguard to protect her. Steve doesn’t sound like he’s going to be much help for a while.” Douglas dropped his pen on his desk, as if giving up.
“What about the victim from the festival?”
“She wasn’t assaulted, and isn’t taking any chance of provoking the suspect. Like all the others, she felt safe at Coedspace. But no more. She’s backed out of the conference already. I don’t have to remind you that we know who he’s after. And while Beth’s fiancé is in critical condition, we’re not going to get her out of harm’s way.”
Nick looked out the window at the bright orange sky as the sun rose. “We’ve been here twelve hours now. I wish I felt safe putting this to bed for the day, but I don’t. That conference is only five days away.
“This guy has already changed his pattern to adjust to the conditions. Last night, he made a huge change, moving his attacks indoors. He left a definite message that he knows a lot about Beth, her life, her boyfriend…. He’s attacked outside her workplace, outside her home. It was natural that the next place was going to be inside—and we weren’t prepared. Nothing gets closer than inside her house. Inside her family.”
Nick logged onto the Coedspace account Sarah had created for him, went into the archives and read Beth’s blogs around the time of her attack.
“You’re thinking he has to know about her sister?”
Nick nodded. “If he’s watching, how can he miss it? Beth wrote a month ago about her excitement that her sister had moved here, her classes…her apologies to someone for having to come to class at night….” He paused, noting that last entry was a day before the attack. He scrolled back further. Who was the whiner?
Vgnwtchr726.
“So, is he a poor speller, or was he trying to convince them he was watching vegans?” the lieutenant said sarcastically. He pulled the case file from his desk and pointed to dates when the attacks had taken place. “The first was on April 26. A possible related attack has shown up on June 25, at almost midnight—maybe his watch was set fast? Beth’s was August 26…. There was nothing on July 26?”
Nick knew it couldn’t be that easy. “The neighbor was on September 3. But last night was only the 10th. If the ‘726’ isn’t his attack dates, what else could it be? That’s close to Beth’s house number, but not quite.”
“Maybe it’s our suspect’s birthday. This is about him, in his eyes. He did say he likes the chase even more than the catch. He’s playing…”
“A sick game. We do have access to the brain of someone with FBI experience. Don’t you think it’s time we talk openly with her about this?”
TWENTY-ONE
Sarah and her parents finally convinced Beth that she needed to come home and get some sleep after she’d been allowed to see her fiancé. They all felt a bit more secure, knowing a uniformed officer was stationed outside Steve’s room.
Everyone else went upstairs to the bedrooms, except for Sarah. She went through the motions of making up the sofa as a bed and fluffing the pillow, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep. Not with the realization that, again, someone had suffered because she’d kept quiet. Still, just seeing the bed made up would make her mother feel better.
Sarah logged on to the computer, planning to dig for deleted files of Beth’s instant messages. She needed to see what her sister had written to her online friends if she was going to be able to pose as Beth. While the computer started up, she made a list of things she had to do in preparation.
As soon as she logged on to the Web site as her sister, messages began popping up.
Hi, how’re you doing? We missed you, from BlueDaisies.
Snobrdrocks asked where she’d been lately.
When will you have our assignments back? SusieSME inquired.
How did her sister have time for all of this, what with her own classes?
I hear you’re moving, Wldncrzy wrote.
Sarah’s instincts went into high gear. She had to come up with something to chat about to keep him on while she looked at his—or her—profile. Not by choice, she responded quickly, scanning for Wldncrzy’s profile. She’d started typing more when he sent another message. She waited, erasing what she’d written.
Really? Why? Wldncrzy asked.
Having problems with some neighbors.
Yeah, that figures.
WonderDan sent her a message. Haven’t seen you in a while. How about meeting for a cup of coffee?
Surely the rapist wouldn’t use anything that could tie to his own name. His profile would be squeaky clean. Sorry, not today, she typed, clicking back to the other conversation.
Did you make it to the harvest festival? she asked, copying both on the message.
Before she got any reply, both said goodbye and logged off. That’s fishy, she thought.
Sarah waited on the sofa, wondering if Nick had survived his meeting with the lieutenant. She hoped none of her actions would be taken against him. Just then, her phone rang.
“Hi,” she said with a smile. “I’m glad you called.”
“I’m outside. Is this a good time to talk?”
She jumped up and ran to open the door, closing her cell phone. “This is even better than hearing your voice on the phone,” she told him.
He looked around to make sure they were alone. “May I come in?”
“Sure. Do you want some coffee?”
He smiled. “I didn’t think you drank coffee.”
“I don’t, but I have it for my folks. Let me make a pot.” She went into the kitchen and started digging through boxes.
“Don’t worry about it, Sarah. I forgot you’re still packed up.”
“Since we’re not moving today, it has to come out again, anyway.” She continued with the quest, then returned her attention to him. “I’m sorry I threw a curve ball at you tonight, Nick. I was sitting there with the lieutenant and just realized I need to focus on my family. The abstinence conference is this weekend. We only have a few days to stop this guy.”
“I agree with you. Wang would have nothing if you hadn’t handed the online ties to him. But more importantly, Sarah, I’m concerned that you stay safe. You can’t go out there without backup.”
She pulled the sheet and pillow from her sofa and motioned for him to sit down. Dropping them in a corner, she sat in the chair. “It’s definitely a lot less comforting when I don’t have the badge and the entire police force to back me, but I’ll be careful.”
He studied her, guessing that sitting across the room was a message that she wasn’t ready to move on, despite the absence of protocol standing like iron bars between them. “Are you planning to return to duty?”
“Of course.” Her eyes met his. “I mean, I hope to, if they’re willing to hire me back after this case is closed.”
“You didn’t actually quit, did you?”
She looked at him, her eyebrows drawn into a V. “I haven’t signed the paperwork, but I made it clear I didn’t want—”
“Lieutenant Douglas doesn’t make it sound like it’s more than an administrative leave, to give you a breather to deal with a family issue. He’s taking over the case. What else did you two discuss?”
“Are you working the case?”
“Not officially,” Nick said, “but I have a very personal interest in your safety.”
She stood up and paced the floor, with her hands on her hips. “I turned in my badge to keep from hurting you, Nick. Letting you get involved is out of the question.”
He said a silent prayer that God would help him trust Sarah—with his heart, his life and his career. Then he pulled her to him. “I’m already involved, Sarah. God willing, this isn’t a temporary partnership. So what’s going on?”
TWENTY-TWO
By the end of the week, Sarah had all but figured out exactly which screen name was responsible for the assaults. She just had to figure out his re
al name and find his real address. The Waiting for Marriage conference was going on as planned, with heightened security. Sarah had called her friend to fill in for the workshops her sister had planned to present.
Steve had been transferred to a hospital in Denver, and Beth went to stay with Joel so she could be closer to her fiancé. She hadn’t taken two seconds backing out of the conference, and Sarah planned to show up looking like her sister, hoping their suspect would fall for the ruse.
Though they argued, Sarah convinced her parents to go visit Joel, too, and give her less to worry about while the police tried to close up the investigation.
She was getting used to thinking of herself and Nick in the present tense, even though they still hadn’t come out in the open. When they weren’t planning the investigation they were talking, making up for fourteen years.
Sarah closed on the condo, anxious to move in.
The lieutenant and Nick vetoed that idea, showing up together at her apartment one day. “Until he’s in jail, I don’t trust that our suspect’s not out there watching your every move,” Douglas said. “The chief has ordered us to put your apartment under surveillance, and you’re not to go to your sister’s without letting me know. We had the cable truck stop by to disconnect the service, but really, he put in a camera.”
“I don’t want to live with anyone watching me, whether it be FCPD or the assailant,” she argued. “I can take care of myself, Lieutenant.”
“Don’t get difficult now, Roberts. It’s not up for discussion,” Douglas said emphatically.
Sarah lost the argument, again. Failure to get her own way didn’t settle well. It seemed God was trying to beat submission into her head in every way.
Ten minutes later, the chief of police walked in with a box of wires and surveillance equipment. “After this case is settled, Officer Roberts, I’ll be reassigning you to help set up the department’s online crimes task force.”
Sarah looked at him, puzzled. “I didn’t know FCPD had an online-crimes investigation unit.”
Badge of Honor Page 13
