“Yes, but...”
“Uh-huh?”
Melissa’s nose wrinkled. “It is awfully hot to stroll about in the sunshine. Perhaps we can go sit somewhere.”
He nodded. “I know the place.”
Matt took her to his house’s back porch, which was shaded by the trees on either side. As they rounded the corner, he remembered the day she’d walked in on him bathing. He’d been embarrassed then, but that shame was nothing compared to what he felt now. He was about to admit he’d been wrong, that he’d acted foolishly. What else could be harder?
“Here.” Matt offered Melissa the one chair before taking a seat on the steps.
“Thank you,” she whispered. Planting her palms on her knees, she took a long breath, preparing to speak.
Matt held his hand up. “Before you say anything, I have to apologize. It was wrong of me to storm out like I did. You were talking, and I… couldn’t handle it.” Coming up on the hardest part, he looked away. “I don’t have much experience with, ah, women. I mostly spend my time with my parents… plus my animals and my one good friend.”
Matt glanced sideways at Melissa. She still watched him with her hands on her knees, her face flat.
“I want to try, though,” he explained. “I want to be better. For you. For us.”
Melissa’s lips twisted in a smile that seemed laced with sadness. “Thank you for the apology. I did not feel you owed me one, however. You giving me your mother’s ring was… significant. I wish I could have been more receptive to it.”
“You don’t need to be,” Matt said in a rush. “Not yet. Not if… if...”
Melissa tilted her head. “Yes?”
“You could always change your mind,” he breathed, terrified of her response.
Melissa’s eyes shone with wetness, and she bit down on her lip. “I do not wish that.” A deep inhale made her shoulders rise. “The truth, Matt, is that you may soon change your mind about me.”
A dreadful sensation grabbed hold of him, and despite the June heat, he shivered.
“Why’s that?”
Melissa’s hands found her apron, which she began twisting. “It is a long story, one that has burdened my soul, and I feel it is time I share it with you.”
Matt nodded slowly, his pulse drumming in his ears. “I’m listening.”
“As you know, I am from New York… however, that is the only thing you truly know about me.”
“Melissa, what are—”
“Please,” she interrupted in a strained voice. “Allow me to finish. If I do not reveal all right now, I fear I might never.”
Matt jerked his head in agreement. He could still hear his heartbeat, and it seemed he was becoming chilled from the inside out.
“My name is not Melissa Russell. It’s Allie Braun. I was born and raised in New York City. I worked there in a garment factory. One day, my boss made an inappropriate advance on me. When I fought back, he threatened to have me punished. He is a very powerful man, and I feared he would have me thrown into prison… or worse.”
She shook her head. “His ruthless acts are not a secret, so I fled. The police and my boss were after me, and I knew that my testament would mean nothing against his. On the train headed west, I met a young woman named Melissa Russell. She became ill quite suddenly and died that night of cholera. Before she passed, she told me to take on her identity and come to Shallow Springs. She insisted it was the best option, that no one would find me if I were to pretend to be her.”
Matt couldn’t find any words. Nothing the woman in front of him had said made sense. How could she not be Melissa? He’d received letters from his future bride, he’d received a description—which this girl fit.
And then he remembered: the day she arrived, he’d thought it odd that Melissa was so pale and without the freckles she’d written about.
“Lord,” Matt gasped. His mouth felt full of cotton. “How… But—”
“Melissa wrote you from Cincinnati, telling you she was held up. It was right after that she passed away.” Her features twisted. “I am sorry, Matt. Lying to you has caused me tremendous pain. Please believe me. I know that keeping my identity a secret is the best way to ensure my safety, but it has come to the point where the risk of being discovered is worth taking. I care for you, Matt. Deeply. It is why I could not take Nicolette’s ring. I could not go forward with this engagement without you knowing who I truly am.”
Matt leaned back against the pillar, his back knocking into the wood. He was in such shock that he barely had the strength to sit up straight anymore.
“I know this is wild,” Melissa said.
Wait. That wasn’t her name.
Matt worked his tongue around. “Wh—what was your name?”
“Allie. Alice Braun.”
“Allie,” he echoed, shaking his head in disbelief. “Is all this true?”
“Yes.” Her gaze pierced his. “As God as my witness, every word is true. And I can give you more details, if you wish. I can answer any question you have.”
“No, that… Well...” Matt stared at the grass, his mind too full for it to work properly. “Who was this man who hurt you?”
She blanched. “He is a business owner in New York.”
“I got that.”
Allie didn’t respond, and Matt realized that she was afraid—afraid that he might turn her in. Knowing that he scared her twisted him all up. His cheeks burned, and a lump formed in his throat.
“I’m not going to turn you into the law,” he said.
She visibly relaxed, but Matt didn’t feel any better. Did she think so little of him that she believed he would throw her to the wolves like that?
“The way I see it,” he went on, “it sounds like you didn’t do anything wrong. You were defending yourself.”
“Yes,” she agreed.
There was a long pause.
“I know you must be furious at me,” Allie said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.
Matt didn’t know what he felt. There was a storm raging inside of him, and it seemed he was experiencing every bad feeling a man could. It was hard to tell one from the other.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Her eyebrows jumped in surprise. “Because I was afraid you would turn me into the authorities.”
“And you’re sure that they would put you in jail?”
Allie’s cheeks turned pink, and her lips pressed tightly together. “There is very little likelihood that the trial would be in my favor… assuming I would even be able to get a trial.”
That was another mouthful for him to chew over. The world she talked about was what he didn’t understand. All Matt had ever known was farm life in Virginia and farm life in Wyoming Territory. Allie hinted at a land of politics, power, and greed.
“Surely the jury would see your side,” Matt pressed.
Allie’s jaw tightened. “There are men who can have others disposed of with a flick of their wrists, Matt.”
There was an edge to her voice, and he knew he’d pushed too far. Sighing, he took his hat off and dropped his face into his hands.
“Your name is Allie,” he said, half to himself. “All this time…” He moved his fingers from his eyes, so he could look at her. “And this is what Melissa wanted?”
“Yes.” Allie’s eyes turned wet. “It was what she wished.”
“She wanted you to lie to me?’
“She wanted to protect me,” Allie answered passionately. “Though we only knew each other for the briefest time, she was a friend, a benevolent and strong soul.”
Was she telling the truth?
Looking at Allie, Matt instinctively felt she was. There was real passion and hurt in her voice and face. Besides, the whole story was plum crazy. Could someone even make such a fib up and then have the gumption to follow through with it? He knew Melissa Russell was a real person—or had been. The mail-order bride agency had connected him with her, and then they exchanged letters. Now, clearly, someth
ing ill had befallen her.
So why not believe Allie’s story?
“I’m sorry all this happened to you,” he said, meaning it. He didn’t know who this “business man” she spoke of was, but it made fire burn in his veins to think of any man putting his hands on her. Allie might have kept a giant secret, but she was still a kind, sensitive, and beautiful woman. She deserved to be cherished.
“Thank you,” she responded. “And I… I am sorry I had to lie.”
You didn’t have to lie, he almost said, but he bit his tongue before speaking. That was his wounded pride taking the lead. Of course Allie had needed to lie. She’d been walking into a situation—a town and new home—where she didn’t know anyone. She’d needed to protect herself.
So then why did he feel so darn hurt? Like someone had walked up and punched him in the gut when he wasn’t looking? The attack had been swift and unfair, and here he was, left trying to get his breath and gather his wits.
“What do you wish to do now?” Allie asked timidly.
Matt felt he’d grown twice as heavy. “I don’t know,” he admitted, jamming his hat back on. “I need some time to think. Alone.”
He didn’t look at her as he stood and strode away from the porch. He’d come into their conversation regretting walking away the day before, and now here he was doing the exact same thing again: running when things got hard.
But this new challenge was unprecedented. It couldn’t be compared to a girl not wanting to rush into marriage or even a girl not wanting to take a ring for any variety of reasons.
This was new. Matt had fallen in love with a stranger, and he didn’t know what to think of that.
18
18. Allie
Chapter Eighteen
Allie pushed the creamed corn around on her plate, feeling as if she would never have an appetite again.
“What’s wrong, dear?” Nicolette asked. “Do you not like it?”
Allie forced a smile. “It is delicious. I’m simply not very hungry.”
Nicolette and Harold exchanged a quick look. The three of them had not spoken about anything occurring between Allie and Matt, but Allie assumed they knew very little. Surely, though, they’d noticed she was not wearing Nicolette’s ring.
That part hurt a great deal. Allie was becoming extraordinarily fond of the woman and already imagined her to be something of a new mother. She did not wish to hurt Nicolette by not donning her gift.
But she was also not ready to share the reason why she did not wear the ring. Matt’s reaction to her story had been awful. He had not gotten angry, like she’d thought he might. Instead, he’d only seemed crushed.
Knowing she had hurt him was unbearable. She’d shared the truth because she’d come to care for him so much. Her honesty was an act of love.
But, apparently, he did not see it that way.
She hadn’t so much as caught a glimpse of him since their conversation on his porch earlier that day. When he hadn’t shown up to supper, Harold had gone to his house to talk to him but returned five minutes later reporting that he wasn’t feeling well.
Allie knew that was a lie. Just how long did Matt plan to avoid her?
Perhaps the talk about taking time to think had also been a fib, and he hoped Allie would leave of her own accord. That way, he would never have to see her again.
Allie turned her face downward so the other two wouldn’t see the tears she fought against. She could leave Shallow Springs; she had not originally planned to settle there at all.
But the town had so quickly become her home. She’d grown attached not only to Matt but to everyone else she’d met there as well.
“Is everything all right, Melissa?” Nicolette asked, pulling Allie out of her thoughts.
She winced at the incorrect name. Having come clean to Matt, it now sounded doubly worse when someone called her Melissa.
“Yes, thank you.” She looked for an excuse but couldn’t find one. Anyone could connect the clues and realize that Matt’s sudden disappearance bothered her.
Harold dropped his napkin on the table with a sigh. “Whatever is going on between the two of you, don’t worry about it too much. Conflicts are a part of married life. It’s how you deal with them that matters.”
Nicolette nodded eagerly. “That’s right.”
Allie gave them each a grateful look while hoping that would be the end of the conversation. “That is sound advice. Thank you.”
“If anything, he’ll be up here to eat sooner or later,” Harold added with a chuckle. “If he stays in that cabin rationing dry goods, he’ll come close to starving to death.”
Allie couldn’t laugh. That Matt was passing up both company and Nicolette’s delicious cooking meant he truly was that frustrated with her.
The rest of the meal passed in somber small talk, and Allie was glad when the dishes were all finished, and she could say good night. Retreating to her room, she sat on the end of the bed and ran her fingertips over Melissa’s locket.
She hadn’t taken it off since Melissa had given it to her. The other woman had said it brought luck, but Allie was starting to wonder if the necklace did the opposite for her.
Staring at the dark wall, she thought of the two kind souls sitting out in the main room. Likely, Nicolette was knitting, and Harold was whittling that flute he had been working on. They’d welcomed Allie into their home, taken her in like she was their long-lost daughter…
She could not lie to them forever. As with Matt, at some point Allie would break, and all the truth would spill forth.
Out of the corner of her eye, something flickered. Standing, Allie went to the window and looked outside. It was too dark to see anything in the yard, but the lamplight shining from the stable’s open doors was clear as day.
Allie bit the inside of her cheek. What was Matt doing in the stable so late? Checking on the pregnant mare?
She longed to go out there and join him, but that was not possible. He had told her she required some time to think, and she needed to respect that.
If only he could understand why she’d told him the truth. The confession had come from a heart yearning to be closer to him. All Allie wanted was for their bond to strengthen, for their marriage to become more than one of simple practicality.
But now, that might never happen. What of their wedding? Was that off? Allie had barely enjoyed any time to daydream of being in the arms of a strong, caring man.
Here she was, back to the beginning. Alone once more. Except this time, it felt even worse. This time, she had lost something she’d hardly gotten more than a taste of.
“I love you, Matt,” she whispered at the dark window pane.
19
19. Matt
Chapter Nineteen
Matt didn’t know if it was his rumbling belly or the itchy hay against his cheek that woke him up. Maybe it was the buzzing of flies or Dora’s snorting in the stall next to him.
Gingerly rising from the blanket he’d stretched out in the unused stall, Matt stretched his arms above his head and yawned.
Dora took note and nudged her nose against the wooden slabs between them.
“I know,” Matt told her. “You want your breakfast. Everyone does.”
He got to working feeding and watering all the animals. Each time he filled another bucket with feed, a new muscle in his back or neck screamed in protest. It would have been nice to sleep in his own bed, but he’d started to get worried about Oatmeal.
The mare still hadn’t given birth, and he didn’t want the babe coming in the middle of the night without anyone there. Oatmeal could need assistance, and Matt’s cabin was likely too far from the stable for any disruptions to wake him.
Plus getting out of the cabin for a while was good. As he’d been avoiding the main house, he’d spent too much time in the little one, and he’d gotten awfully lonely. At least in the stable, there were animals to keep him company.
With the horses, sheep, and oxen all taken care of, Matt went
out the far side of the stable and to the well. He’d wash up there instead of in the basin by the house.
He knew he’d have to go in there at some point, but he wasn’t ready yet. Not only could he not face Allie, but he couldn’t face his parents either.
Pa hadn’t believed the lie about being sick the night before, but Matt didn’t expect him to. The way things were progressing, Matt figured he would have to live with letting his folks down for a while.
Her Unexpected Destiny (Seeing Ranch series) (A Western Historical Romance Book) Page 12
