But it was difficult. Every time I looked at her, every time I felt her green eyes on me, I felt a longing deep inside. The way she folded her arms across her chest and bit her lip as she watched me… God! It got me hot. Her body called out to me.
Restrain yourself, Shadow.
But it was difficult. With each day I didn’t have her, I wanted her more and more.
As I thought about our situation, an excitement grew inside me. No other woman had indulged my strange desires, but with the way she watched me, the way she lusted after Mike Shadow, she might just be ready to indulge my fantasies. There was only one way to find out. I’d have to get her alone. I’d have to put her to the test.
I smiled to myself. This would be fun.
The transformation happened so smoothly that I didn’t even know where Johnny Logan ended and Mike Shadow began.
Watching him on set was such a tease. Every time he fought off a nemesis, made a witty comment to the camera, or flirted with a female character, I saw my fantasy come to life. Every once in a while he’d shoot me a look in between shots and his gaze would melt me faster than the scorching Bora Bora sun. Mike Shadow, my teenage dream, was coming to life right before my eyes, and I couldn’t do anything about it but watch.
Each morning I woke up in a hot sweat, my bed sheets damp. Seeing Mike Shadow every day gave me such real and vivid dreams that I woke up with his lingering taste on my lips. I could smell his jungle scent. The only thing stopping me from releasing my pent up frustration was the fact that Jean slept in the bed right next to mine.
It was another shooting day. We were filming another chase scene. Mike Shadow was being chased by spies through the jungle. After succumbing to a booby trap, Mike Shadow would engage in a knife fight with the spies, which would cause his shirt to rip off. The spy and Mike Shadow wrestled in the mud. The director demanded take after take, starting with the net catching him, which was our responsibility. Boy, was it hard to concentrate on that net when Mike Shadow stood only a few feet away, shirtless and covered in mud. That sight sure got my juices going. Jean caught me staring more than a few times.
“It’s better not to look,” she whispered to me.
“Huh?” I asked absently, staring at Mike Shadow as he poured water over his head. The water dripped down his neck, his chest, and biceps. I licked my lips.
“Looking at him is just a tease. It’s better to pretend he’s not even there.”
“If you’re pretending he’s not there, then I applaud your self-control,” I said. I still hadn’t told anyone that Johnny and I were dating (if you could call it that). He was famous and I respected keeping his private life private.
Jean laughed. “Help me with this net, will you?”
I helped Jean but I also sneaked peeks of Mike Shadow when I could. In between takes, he paced back and forth, contemplating as his muscles tensed and flexed. He wasn’t thinking about the crew or the director, he was thinking about the spy. He was thinking about getting away. He really was always in character! It was fascinating to watch.
It went on like this for several takes. I watched a roughed up Mike Shadow chasing a spy through the jungle. I watched him shirtless, tied up, covered in mud, and dripping with sweat.
Was this really the same man I slept with?
I wanted him bad. But did he want me? I sighed. There was no point in wondering. I wasn’t going to mess up his method and screw up the whole production by being a needy fangirl, so I left him alone. I didn’t have a say in the matter, anyway. He usually disappeared into the jungle as soon as the director shouted ‘Cut!’
He was as elusive and unattainable as my fantasies.
***
“Madison!” Nelson approached me after shooting wrapped for the day. He was holding some rigging equipment. “Can you store these away somewhere? There’s not enough room in the equipment trailer.”
“Sure.” The leather rigging must have weighed at least forty pounds because I nearly toppled over when he handed it to me. “Oof.”
“Yeah, be careful with that.”
“Where should I put it?” I struggled to keep all the equipment in my arms and stay upright.
Nelson shrugged. “I don’t know, how about the stables? You’ll find a place for it. Just don’t lose it.” He chuckled as he watched me struggle. “It sure is useful having you around.” He gave me a slight smirk before disappearing with the rest of the crew.
“Thanks,” I mumbled. Being on set was awesome, but being everyone’s bitch wasn’t. I waddled over to the horse stables. I remembered seeing them one day when I explored the area with Jean.
Pushing the door open with my foot, I stepped inside the stables.
Mike Shadow whipped around to look at me. He was still shirtless and dried mud caked his bare chest. I gasped and dropped the rigging equipment onto the ground. For some reason, Mike Shadow seemed more built than Johnny Logan. The effect was caused by the way Mike Shadow carried himself. There was a confidence, a ruggedness, that wasn’t there before.
“Why are you here?” He asked. The way he stood, the way he looked at me was very intimidating.
“I’m—” I suddenly felt very foolish. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry. I’m just dropping off these things.”
He stared suspiciously at the rigging on the floor as if it was a weapon.
“Who sent you?”
I swallowed hard, feeling like I was intruding. “Nelson,” I said.
I looked around. There was a pot, a pan, a change of clothes, and a makeshift bed made out of blankets, all nestled in the corner feet away from the two horses, Rock and Spirit. “Wait, is this where you’re living?”
Mike Shadow ignored my question. “Who is this Nelson? A spy?”
“What? Of course he’s not.”
Water dripped down his bare chest. It looked like he had attempted to wash the mud off himself with the river water. He moved closer to me, his eyes searing into mine. His masculine aroma encapsulated me.
What was going on here?
“Who are you?”
I suddenly felt like my stomach had dropped away.
“What?”
Was he so in his character that he didn’t recognize me anymore?
“Who are you?” He asked again, coming closer to me this time. His face was inches from mine. He was so familiar, yet not at all. This was Mike Shadow, the man I dreamed about for years. The man whose face I watched on the big screen many, many times. But he was a thousand times more intimidating and overpowering here and now as he stared me down in real life. “Are you a spy?”
I shook my head, I didn’t know what to say. Then, I saw it. There was a flash in his eye that reminded me that behind Mike Shadow’s mask was Johnny. He was playing with me.
It all made sense now. He thought I was a villain! Who else would track Johnny Logan through the jungle and break into his home? Smirking to myself, I realized I could have a lot of fun with this.
“What if I am a spy?” I asked.
There was a hint of a smile on his perfect lips.
“What’s your name?”
“Serena,” I said. “Serena Hawk.”
He laughed. “Serena Hawk,” he purred, placing his hands on the wall, one on either side of my head, leaning over me. Mike Shadow surrounded me — his large arms, his glistening chest, his burning eyes. Heat traveled up my thighs and through my body. Was it hot in here? “I’ve never heard of you, which makes me wonder…how can I trust you?”
“I guess you can’t.” I smirked.
It was happening! I was living out my Mike Shadow fantasy!
“What did you think you’d accomplish by coming here?”
“Well now I know where you live.” I looked him straight in the eyes as I spoke with confidence. I don’t know where this confidence came from, but I liked it. Serena the spy had some balls.
He narrowed his eyes. “So you came here to kill me?”
I swallowed hard.
“Of course not.”
I turned to move, but he surrounded me, holding me in place. I looked into his eyes. “You know, I never said I was a spy.”
“We already established that I can’t trust you.”
“Do I look like a spy?”
He smirked as he took his time looking down over my body, then back up into my eyes. The simple action was harmless, but so very, very sexy. “Not at all,” he said. “But that’s what makes you so unassuming.”
“Why do you think I’m going to kill you?” I asked. “Did you do something bad?”
Johnny — err, Mike leaned in. That undeniable smirk lingered on his lips.
“Maybe.” His voice was low and rough. The thought of those lips on me rattled my subconscious. A thrill ran through my body, shooting straight to my core.
“What did you do, Mr. Shadow?” I spoke in barely a whisper. Saying his name gave me a shiver. “You seem awfully defensive for someone who has nothing to hide.”
“Who said I had anything to hide?” His eyes narrowed and something delicious ignited deep in my belly. He became serious again as he leaned in closer to me. “Maybe you’re here to steal something from me.”
“Like what?”
He chuckled. “Maybe I have something you want.”
“And what could you possibly have that I want?” My voice cracked as I said it. Tension was starting to wind up in my belly.
Mike Shadow leaned in so that he was inches from my face. Those devious, sparkling eyes watched me. “You know.”
His words were nearly enough to melt me into a puddle of desire, but I vowed to hold my ground and stand up to the one and only Mike Shadow.
He leaned in closer, so that I could nearly taste his lips. He spoke low so that his words rumbled in my belly. “Maybe you’re here to seduce me, Ms. Hawk.”
“Seduce you?”
“Mmhmm. You know what they say?”
“What do they say?” My hooded eyes looked up into his. I was intoxicated by him, willing to submit to him.
“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” He slipped one hand around my waist, causing all my nerves to alight. “Whatever you’re doing,” he said in a low rumble, “is working.”
Mike Shadow pressed his lips against mine. They were strong, and warm, and everything I imagined them to be. Though I was familiar with Johnny’s lips, Mike’s were different. Mike Shadow’s lips were commanding and dominating. Mike Shadow’s muscled arms wrapped around me, creating a blanket of heat around me. My body trembled in his.
He leaned in, deepening the kiss. I breathed in the scent of sweat, testosterone, and dried jungle mud. Bliss poured through my bloodstream as I melted into his strong arms. Though I should have felt safe in his protective embrace, I felt like I was in the lion’s cage, surrounded by danger. That’s what Mike Shadow brought to the table. And it was exhilarating, and hot as hell.
“Mike,” I said under my breath as I looked into his eyes. I went in for another kiss. My eyes widened.
What was I doing?
This felt wrong. I was kissing another man. This wasn’t Johnny Logan. This wasn’t my boyfriend. My boyfriend.
I pulled back and looked into Mike Shadow’s seductive and dangerous eyes.
“Serena,” he said, narrowing his eyes
“I can’t.” I looked at him long enough to see the hurt on his face before I pulled away and ran out of the stable. I could hear him call out for me — no, not me, but Serena. I was already running. I didn’t look back until I reached my room.
Mike — no, Johnny’s hurt face was imprinted in my mind.
I didn’t understand. Madison was playing along beautifully. I had her. But she left so abruptly and I didn’t understand why. Did I come off too strong? Was this too much for her?
Fuck.
I scared her away. Another woman gone, and not just any woman, but Madison, a woman I really liked.
It was funny… usually I didn’t care if a woman left or if people thought I was strange. I would stay in character and move on with my day. But with Madison, I was worried. I didn’t want her to slip away and I could feel myself slipping out of character and back into Johnny. That protective part of me wanted to run to her, to comfort her. I wanted to assure her that everything was alright. But how? I had never encountered anything like this before.
The white horse next to me, Spirit, neighed. I grabbed the brush and smoothed down her coat.
After shooting tomorrow, I’d slip out of character and talk to her. That’s what I was going to do. For the first time this trip, I was going to become Johnny again.
“What do I do?”
“Indulge him!” Whitney squealed. Her voice sounded distant on the other line. “Isn’t this what you want?”
I sighed. “I don’t know what I want anymore. I thought I wanted to have fun with Mike Shadow, but it feels so wrong to be cheating on Johnny.” I stopped. “Even just saying it sounds weird!”
A part of me wished I could be like Johnny and get lost in the fantasy of it all. Actually, that was my wish all through my teen years. All I wished for was being a part of the action, and this was my chance. So what was I waiting for?
“Madi, you’re living every girl’s dream!”
“I don’t think pretending to be someone else is every girl’s dream, Whit.”
Whitney was clearly exasperated on the other end.
“Stop thinking so much about it and let go. This was what you wanted, right? To be more adventurous? I mean, any girl who dates Johnny Logan has to be somewhat adventurous, right?”
My body was shaking with nervousness. “You’re right. I just didn’t realize it’d be this kind of adventure.”
“Hey, no risk, no reward, right?”
“But… being adventurous means dealing with the consequences.”
“Pshh. Is there anything in life that doesn’t come with consequences? You’ve been a goody two-shoes for way too long. It’s time to let your hair down and have fun!”
I nodded. “You’re right.” I had to stop being so nervous. “How’s summer school?”
“Meh. It’s no Bora Bora. Listen, I’ve got to go. Call me after you sort this all out okay? I want to know what Mike Shadow’s like in bed.”
My cheeks instantly reddened. “Bye Whitney.”
“Promise me you’ll be adventurous!”
I was about to speak but the words caught in my throat.
“Madi.”
“Okay, I promise.”
“That’s my girl. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Bye.”
I hung up the phone and reflected on Whitney said. Then it dawned on me: this was why Johnny scared away so many ex-girlfriends. This was why Johnny he needed a reality TV show to help him get a date. This was who he was.
All that remained to be seen was whether I was truly the match for him, and whether I had that sort of adventure in me.
***
The next day during filming, I was too embarrassed to have Johnny, or Mike, look at me on set. I hid behind the rest of the crew, wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, avoiding his gaze. This was easier said than done since it seemed like Mike Shadow had an extra keen eye today, as he seemed to be searching for me in the crowd.
As the cameras began to roll, I strategically placed myself so that I could watch Johnny work without him having see me. He was still as sexy and confident as ever, which made my dilemma that much harder.
This was so confusing. Was he Mike Shadow? Was he Johnny?
Questions plague my mind as I worked. Was Johnny expecting me to date him while he was in character as Mike Shadow? I mean, he came on to me, right? I couldn’t be guilty of cheating on him if he was the one initiating, right?
This whole thing was silly. I was worried about cheating on a man with himself. That wasn’t even a thing!
As shooting went on for the day, I thought about what Whitney said. I had to be more adventurous. Johnny Logan’s true match would be adventurous and outgoing. I couldn’t deny
that I had fun yesterday, playing a character opposite Mike Shadow. I let out a deep breath. That’s what I was going to do. After shooting wrapped for the day, I would approach Mike Shadow and continue what we started. But as soon as I was ready to pursue him, Jean and Nelson approached me, dashing any hope I had of talking to Mike Shadow.
“We have a task for you,” Jean said.
“For me?”
Nelson put a bag in my hands. Through the material I could see a glowing light. I opened the bag and dazzling light emanated from inside casting a glow on all our faces.
“Jewels?”
“Props,” Jean said. From what I remembered, the jewels were an important plot device in the script. Mike Shadow had to retrieve them from a burglar in the third act.
Nelson nodded. “We need someone to be in charge of them.”
“Why is the effects team in charge of them?” I asked.
“Because we created them,” Nelson said.
“Actually, Taylor created them, but he’s so disorganized that I feel like he’ll lose them.” Jean looked around. “I bet he doesn’t even know they’re not in his possession anymore.”
“Are they valuable?” I asked, looking at the brilliant jewels inside. They were clear but reflected the light brilliantly.
Nelson shook his head. “They have no inherent value, but they are valuable to us and to the production. So protect them with your life.”
I nodded. Despite all that was going on with Johnny, it felt good to be part of a team, and to have some responsibility. I held the bag close to my chest. There was something exciting about being so close to the action of the film. Holding the jewels in my hands was probably the closest I would get.
“I’ll take care of them, don’t worry.”
“We’ll need them for the scene we’re shooting tomorrow morning, so bring them with you.”
I nodded again, letting Nelson know that he could trust me. He gave me a subtle smirk and walked off.
The Blind Date Series (Three Romance Stories: Blind Date, Role Play, Pure Fate) Page 10
