SIR – Matt’s 30th anniversary has brought back memories of my late father, who for many years was organist at a church in Harrow-on-the-Hill. During the week he would cut out all the Matt cartoons and take them to church on Sunday. The very quiet congregation would be waiting for the service to begin and guffaws of laughter could be heard coming from the vestry.
My embarrassed mother would say in a stage whisper: “Oh, that’s your father again, showing his Matt cartoons to the clergy.”
Jennifer Russell-Hawkins
Northwood, Middlesex
SIR – Please pass my grateful thanks to Matt for the first wraparound that has not gone straight into the recycling bin.
William Pease
Southam, Warwickshire
SIR – 50 years of reading the Telegraph:
8,000 Matt cartoons
10 Prime Ministers
14 General Elections
5 Popes
1 Trump (unfortunately)
Keith Davies
Telford, Shropshire
What’s in a name?
SIR – Sophia Money-Coutts; Lady Alice Manners; Boudicca Fox-Leonard.
If I hadn’t been sea-fishing with Boudicca I might think these names were made up. Do any Jane Smiths get jobs at the Telegraph?
Richard Mockett
Elsted, West Sussex
SIR – Please put me out of my misery. Is the surname of your feature writer Tom Ough pronounced Ooh, Oh, Ow, Off, Uff or Aw?
Meriel Thurstan
Stoke St Mary, Somerset
Down with this sort of thing
SIR – Tunbridge Wells has been voted one of the happiest places to live in Britain.
I’m disgusted.
Dr Bertie Dockerill
Shildon, County Durham
Your more humble servant
SIR – You appear to have had a plethora of letters from Lieutenant Colonels, Wing Commanders, Commanders RN (retd) of late.
I wonder if anyone can enlighten me – at what level of seniority is it considered acceptable to use one’s ex-military rank in a signature?
Could I, for example, using my highest rung on the promotion ladder, sign myself
Your Humble Servant,
Lance Corporal Steven Broomfield (retd)
Fair Oak, Hampshire
Fair hand
SIR – My wife claims she is far too busy to even read the Telegraph Letters page, let alone find time to write any letters. I conducted an informal time and motion study on my wife’s activities this morning and am reluctantly inclined to agree.
Bob Gould
Selsey, West Sussex
SIR – It was wonderful to see so many letters from women in today’s Letters page. In order to keep up this progress, please feel free to include this one from me in tomorrow’s paper.
Rita Coppillie
Liskeard, Cornwall
SIR – For 30 years I have been in a race with my husband. Who would be first to have a Letter to the Editor published? He won today. Many congratulations or, in the words of the Bard, I scorn you, scurvy companion.
Susan McFadzean
Swansea
SIR – Has anyone ever complained that all letters seem to start with “Sir”?
Richard Hodgkiss
Cheltenham, Gloucestershire
County lines
SIR – As an avid reader of Daily Telegraph letters I thought it might be interesting to note over a month their sources.
Unsurprisingly, London came top (42) with Edinburgh (4) and Cardiff (2). The best-represented counties were Surrey (32), Hampshire (28) and Kent (23), followed by Essex, Suffolk and Berkshire clustered around 13.
Humberside was the only English county not represented at least once.
In Scotland, Renfrewshire and Wigtownshire featured twice, as did Clwyd, Gwent and Gwynedd in Wales. A singleton from Antrim represented Northern Ireland.
Thus the largest numbers were from the Home Counties if one were to include Hampshire and Suffolk.
Although this exercise was just fun for a Dry January, I recall Tom Lehrer introducing his song listing all the chemical elements as potentially being useful “in a somewhat bizarre set of circumstances”.
Graham Cooper
Idmiston, Wiltshire
SIR – Has your correspondent Mick Ferrie moved from Mawnan Smith to Falmouth?
I think we should be told. Migration on this scale is a threat to the very fabric of Cornish life.
Hugh Davies
Porthgwarra, Cornwall
The readers have spoken
SIR – Perhaps this year “Letters to the Editor” could be re-named “Still, Small Voices”.
Or, in election seasons, “Beware the Fury of a Patient Man”.
Graham Clifton
Kingston upon Thames, Surrey
SIR – This week I received, and have read, your latest volume of unpublished letters.
Prior to that I had started to re-read, for the umpteenth time, the earlier books, and am currently on I Rest My Case …
Three things occur to me. Firstly, the British humour is as eccentric and eclectic as ever.
Secondly, we are still getting hot under the collar about the same subjects. The names of politicians/footballers/celebrities may have changed but the same rants are still there.
Thirdly, and this worries me, there does seem to be a high number of correspondents writing from my county.
Does this mean we are more erudite, or that we ought to go out and get a life?
David Gegg
Ebley, Gloucestershire
SIR — I have just finished reading your latest brilliant compilation of unpublished letters to the Telegraph: Did Anyone Else See That Coming …?
I was somewhat perturbed that there were two significant contributors missing. The first was myself, as it’s been a rather unsuccessful year for my letters, I’m afraid.
More worrying was the absence of “M”, your Bristol-based asset with his (?) unique ramblings.
Have the Russians got him, or worse yet SPECTRE? Or has he simply run out of one-time pads?
Charles Smith-Jones
Landrake, Cornwall
The last laugh
SIR – To the folk who publish Telegraph letters
You obviously think you are my betters.
It seems to me it’s purely spite,
When you fail to publish what I write.
Subjects chosen are in the news,
And mine are good, constructive views.
I believe my complaint has just cause,
Yours sincerely, Dennis Dawes.
Dennis Dawes
Winchester
P.S.
Dear Iain,
Thank you for your letter asking if I mind you potentially including one of my letters in Must I repeat Myself…? Of course I give my excited, happy permission for you to do so. My Christmas-gifting friend will also be thrilled.
I know you said replies were only necessary in the negative, but golly me, how uncouth.
Every best wish,
Anne Jappie
Cheltenham, Gloucestershire
Dear Mr Hollingshead,
I am delighted to learn that I am to have a letter in your new publication Must I Repeat Myself…? You have very kindly published some of my letters in your main paper (43 at the last count) but I have never had one in your Am I Alone in Thinking…? series.
I shall ask for it for Christmas.
Best wishes,
Diana Crook
Seaford, East Sussex
Iain,
Thanks for your letter. Most of my letters to the Telegraph have been sensible. However, the odd one would even have been rejected by me.
I wouldn’t dream of preventing you from using any of them, but since you offer anonymity, I’d quite like to know which one you’ve chosen, just in case it sounds barking mad a few months later.
Philip Hirst
Ashton-under-Lyne, Lancashire
Thank you for your let
ter about my letter. Please could you tell me which piece of spluttering outrage you might include? My book is about to be published and my lovely Guardian reading agent might disassociate himself with me.
I’ve read and enjoyed most of your series and given them as presents to other splutterers.
Best wishes,
Jacky King
Castle Cary, Somerset
Mr. Hollingshead,
As I received two letters, does that mean that two letters of mine will be published? Hopefully.
Robert Ward
Loughborough, Leicestershire
First published in 2018 by White Lion Publishing
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Copyright © 2018 Telegraph Media Group
Introduction copyright © 2018 Iain Hollingshead
Iain Hollingshead and Kate Moore have asserted their moral right to be identified as the Editors of this Work in accordance with the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988.
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Must I Repeat Myself...? Page 12
