“They don’t know Ari.”
“No. They don’t.” Charlie nudges me with her elbow. “What about you? How are you dealing with all of this? I’m sorry I didn’t ask earlier; I’ve just been so focused on her.”
“Honestly?”
She glares at me. “No, lie to me. You know how much I love that.”
“I’m a fucking wreck. When Aiden died, I had this void inside me. But I was so busy taking care of Ari and then the Super Bowl, then worrying about where Henrik took her, I never really stopped to process it all. Aiden was like a second father to me. I still don’t think I’ve accepted he’s gone. I’m waiting for him to show up as though he’s been on vacation or something. But when all that book crap happened and all these questions were raised that he’s not around to answer, it really started to hit me. He’s gone. Then to lose Ari on top of that… like I said—I’m a fucking wreck.” I run my fingers through my hair. “I’m not ready for all this. Death and con artists and rehab. This is all serious grown-up shit. When did we get old enough to deal with all of this?”
She pats my arm. “Welcome to adulthood. Isn’t it fabulous? I seriously wonder what the hell we were rushing to grow up for.”
I chuckle. “Seriously.”
“While we’re sharing,” she says, “I heard what that guy at the club said. That she was ‘with him.’ Do you think they’re, like, a thing or something?”
My fist clenches at the thought. “I don’t want to think about it.”
“Look, I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news here, but when she wakes up, she’s going to need us,” Charlie warns. “She’ll be fragile and won’t be in any shape to go ten rounds with you about her sexual escapades over the last month. You have to decide now if you can forgive her for it. Because if you can’t, if you’re ultimately going to leave her because of it, leave now. Staying just to leave later would be cruel.”
I take a deep breath. “I know the doc said it wasn’t that bad, but it felt like she was dying in my arms. I felt like someone was reaching into my chest and pulling out my heart. I’m sure she’s done a lot of things in the last month that would hurt me if I knew about them, but nothing will hurt as much as losing her.”
She hugs me tight. “Right answer. If you had said anything else, I would have kicked your ass.”
“Plus, technically we’re broken up,” I continue. “When I was in college and we were off again, I tried to fuck the hurt away. No matter how many girls I screwed, I couldn’t get Ari out of my head or out of my heart. She forgave me for all of that. I’d be a serious hypocrite if I held this against her.”
She kisses my cheek. “You really have grown up.”
“Shh,” I say with a smirk. “Don’t spread that around.” I look at my watch. “It’s really late. You should go to bed.”
She rests her head on my shoulder. “I doubt I’ll be able to sleep until she’s awake and talking to us. But I’ll give you some time alone with her.” She gives me a quick hug. “I’m going to go pretend to sleep so Spencer doesn’t get on my case. See you in a few hours.” Charlie leaves and closes the door.
The faint hum of the machines and the occasional beep from the monitors fills the room like a quiet intruder. Charlie’s right—Ari does look better. Her skin still has a slight pallor, but there’s enough pink in her cheeks that I don’t feel the need to check to make sure she still has a pulse.
Beads of sweat form on her temples. I feel her forehead and her skin is still hot. I’m guessing it’s her body burning off the drugs. I grab a towel and run it under cold water then blot her forehead.
A nurse comes in a few moments later. “Sorry, blood pressure,” she says in a heavy accent. The machines check Ari’s vital signs, and the nurse scribbles them on Ari’s chart. “You lie.” She gently taps the empty space in the bed next to Ari. “She feel safe.”
As soon as the nurse leaves, I slide in bed next to Ari, careful not to disturb her. I run my fingers through her hair, listening to the soft, steady sound of her breathing, completely transfixed as if it were the most magical sound in the world. After a few hours, her body becomes restless. She winces and moans every once in a while and I can’t tell if she’s having a bad dream or if she’s in pain. Possibly both. I worry she’s about to wake up.
When I was on the plane, I read everything I could find on cocaine addiction and recovery. Insomnia, restless limbs, and night terrors are all things she’s probably going to face. I pray she stays asleep a little longer, prolonging the inevitable pain as long as possible. As she tosses and turns, her eyes open slightly. A dreamy smile creeps across her face.
“It’s you,” she says in a sleepy voice that’s almost childlike. Angelic and sweet. Turning onto her side, she nestles her face into the crook of my neck. “I love you.”
My heart soars. “I love you too.”
She sighs, and moments later, her body calms, and her breathing returns to the slow, steady rhythm.
For the next few hours, I can’t take my eyes off of her. She’s alive and in my arms, and I don’t want to lose a second of that feeling. I know I should try to sleep. The next few days are going to be emotionally and physically taxing. The more rest I have, the better equipped I’ll be to help her. But as much as I know that, these moments with her are so peaceful. They may be the last moments of serenity we have for a long time.
Somewhere around noon, Butch knocks on the door and gestures for me to come outside. I kiss the top of Ari’s head then slip out of bed, careful not to wake her.
“How is she?” Butch asks.
“Still sleeping. That’s the best we can hope for at this point.” I walk to the kitchen area and look in the fridge. “Anything with caffeine in here?”
She shakes her head. “Nope. No drugs of any kind. There’s fancy water from Finland, but that’s all you’ll find. It’s from a glacier or something else that helps them rationalize charging twenty-five dollars a bottle.”
I grab one of the bottles then offer it to her.
She shakes her head. “I’m good.”
I open the bottle and gulp it down. I hadn’t realized how thirsty I was. Come to think of it, I can’t remember the last time I ate or drank anything. Something to figure out later. I walk over to the sofa and plop down. “So what’s up?”
Butch sits in the chair across from me. “I just got off the phone with Arianna’s attorney. He and the accountant have been trying to figure out what are the next best steps to protect her moving forward. The first thing they want to do is get those guys out of the place they rented here. The rental company is willing to return some of the lease fee as well as send the police to toss the guys out of the house, but they need someone to go down and fill out some paperwork. Wallace fudged some documents giving you power of attorney. It won’t hold up in court, but it’ll be enough to get them out of the house. All you have to do is go down and sign.”
“I’d be more than happy to throw those fuckers out myself.”
“No, you won’t,” Spencer says, coming out of their bedroom. “You need to stay as far away from them as possible, or you’ll end up in jail. We need to focus on helping Ari, not helping you beat a murder rap.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I begrudgingly agree. I look at Butch. “Do I have to actually go down there? Can I sign here and have them couriered over? I really don’t want to leave Ari.”
She nods. “They want you to come down. It won’t take very long, but you should go soon. They said it’ll take twenty-four to forty-eight hours after you fill out the forms for them to get the police down there.”
“I’ll stay with her,” Charlie chimes in. “You’ve been hogging Sleeping Beauty all to yourself anyway. It’s my turn.”
“Okay,” I say as I stand. “Just let me brush my teeth.”
Butch points at me. “You may want to change too.”
I look down and realize I’m still in my clothes from last night. “Good point.”
Once I’m changed, I ask Butch for di
rections.
“Vic is waiting for you downstairs. He’ll drive you,” she says.
Spencer grabs his jacket. “I’m coming with you. I could use some fresh air.”
Charlie gives Spencer a quick kiss. “Bring me back food. I’m starving. I don’t even care what is, but bring lots of it. I could eat a horse.”
I give Charlie a quick hug. “Call me if she wakes up.”
She waves. “I will.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Arianna
A beeping sound is grating on my nerves. What the hell is that? Who left what on, and what will it take to get them to turn it off? I try to tune out the sound and go back to sleep, but the damn thing just keeps beeping.
I try to reposition myself, but the second I move, my whole body screams in pain. Hell, even my hair hurts. I didn’t think hair was capable of hurting, but mine does. What the hell happened to me? It’s as if I’m having muscle spasms everywhere. A full-body charley horse. I try to stretch to loosen my muscles, but everything is taut. I’ve never been this sore in my life. What the hell did I do?
Wait a minute… where am I? I was in… Spain, yes. Spain and then… I can’t remember. Norway? No. Prying my eyes open ever so slightly, I look around the room. It’s dark, and I have no idea where I am. Not that that should surprise me; it’s been happening more and more lately. I can’t keep the days straight. They all blur together. Long nights turn into sunrises that turn into sunsets, and the whole cycle begins again. One endless stream of parties and clubs.
I stretch, but something pulls at my hand. I scratch at it. What the hell? An IV? Where the hell am I?
“Look who’s up.”
I jump at the sound of Charlie’s voice. My heart feels as if it’s going to jump out of my chest. I move my hand over my heart as though that could calm it down. “Charlie? Is that you?” I squeak. Damn, I must have lost my voice last night.
“The one and only. How are you feeling?”
“My throat is on fire. Do you have any water?”
She crosses the room then opens a cabinet and pulls out a bottle of water. She unscrews the top then hands the bottle to me. “Drink slowly, okay?”
The first sip is like heaven. Rainfall after a drought. But then my throat screams with each swallow as though I just guzzled acid. I put the water down and rack my brain, trying to remember Charlie coming into the picture. I don’t want her here. I don’t want her to see me. Not like this. I have to get out of here. “What are you doing here? Where is here exactly?”
“Berlin,” she replies. “Don’t you remember seeing me and Spencer at the club last night?”
I try to kick-start my brain into working, but it’s like an engine that won’t turn over. “Can we turn off that beeping?”
She walks over to the bed then fishes a blood oxygen sensor out from the sheets. “Give me your finger.” I point my index finger, and she clips the sensor on.
“Am I in a hospital? What happened? Was I in a car accident or something?”
“You overdosed,” she says flatly.
Oh shit. No. No. No. She can’t know. Charlie can’t know about any of this. “I what? How is that even possible?” I feign shock and confusion as best I can, hoping to bluff my way out of this.
“Well, when you shoot too much cocaine into your brain, you overdose,” she replies, sarcasm dripping from her tongue.
“Cocaine? I don’t do cocaine. You know that.”
She scoffs. “Don’t insult me by lying. I saw it with my own eyes.”
The air conditioning turns on, and I’m blasted with cold air. I pull the blankets up around me. “Charlie, I don’t know what you think you know, but—”
“I said don’t lie to me,” she sneers through gritted teeth. “I sat here for the last day wondering if you were going to live or die. The least you can do is tell me the truth.”
I’m not having this conversation with her. Not now. Not ever. “What are you doing here? How did you even find me?”
“I didn’t find you. Chase did.”
I look around. “Chase is here? Hell no. I need to get out of here. I don’t want to be anywhere near him.”
“What? Why?”
“Why? You’re seriously asking me why?” After all this time, she still doesn’t get it! She may be my best friend, but she will always be his twin sister first and foremost.
“Yeah. After everything he’s done for you, I thought—”
“Done for me?” I gape at her incredulously. “Are you kidding me? All he’s ever done is bring me heartache and grief! He ruined my life! I finally cut him out completely. I can’t let him back in again.”
She puts her hand on my arm. “Ari, your life isn’t ruined, sweetie. Don’t think like that.”
Pulling my arm away, I snap at her, “Chase is at the epicenter of all of my troubles. Everything bad in my life traces back to him. He was always coming in between me and Daddy. He didn’t care that he had both his parents and you. Daddy was all that I had, and Chase weaseled his way in, taking Daddy away from me every chance he got. Chase ruined my tennis career! If it weren’t for him, I never would have gotten into that accident and my knee would be fine. And then because of him, I couldn’t come home for two years! Two years! I’d do anything to have that time back with Daddy. And had I just been home that night instead of with Chase, I could have been there when he fell. I could have helped him. He’d still be alive today if it weren’t for Chase. Every facet of my life that Chase touches turns rancid and dies. He’s a cancer eating away at my happiness. I can’t let him back into my life. I can’t. I have to get out of here.” I look down and notice I’m wearing scrubs. “Where are my clothes? I need my clothes. I need to get out of here and go… I don’t know, somewhere. Somewhere he won’t find me. I just need my clothes. Where are my clothes?” When she doesn’t answer, I look at her. She’s just staring at me with a blank expression. “Are you going to answer me?”
She gawks at me, her eyes wide. “Wow, Ari. Just… wow. I don’t even know what to say here.”
“You can start by telling me what you’ve done with my fucking clothes!” I roar. Shouting at her kills my throat, but she’s pissing me off!
She puts her hands on her hips. “Who the hell are you?”
“What? What do you mean who am I? I don’t have time for this bullshit. I need to get the hell out of here.” Since she’s no help, I try to get up to look for my clothes myself, but I’ve got wires attached to me everywhere. I try to pry off the electrodes stuck to me, but I’d swear they attached those things with superglue. I feel as though I’m peeling off a layer of my skin.
“Has all that coke eaten away at your brain so much that you’ve morphed into a completely different person? I’m not sure who the hell you are, but I want my best friend back. The one that doesn’t search for other people to blame for her problems. You used to be the strongest person I knew, but now you’re just a whiney brat.” She spits the words as though they taste foul.
“Excuse me?”
“Did you listen to yourself just now? Chase did this. Chase did that,” she mocks. “Chase is not responsible for everything wrong in your life. You did a pretty good job of screwing things up on your own.”
I slam my hand on the bed. “You’re taking his side? I can’t believe you! You’re such a traitor!” I point at the door. “Get the hell of my room then. If you’re taking his side, then you’re dead to me too!” Turning my back on her, I get back to work on the electrodes stuck to my chest.
She puts a hand on my shoulder and turns me around. “No way. You run from everything. I’m not letting you get out of this that easily. We’re talking about this before you carry on with these delusions for one second longer. You got in the car and drove it off the road after my wedding. You put yourself in insolation for two years. Not Chase. You could have come home at any time, but you chose to stay away. You decided to go to Chase’s the night Aiden died. You’re the one who left your father alone. That wasn�
��t Chase. That was all you. You have no one to blame but yourself. Grow a pair and take accountability for your choices and stop looking for a scapegoat.”
“Stop trying to spin it to make him look better! I hate him! No, hate isn’t strong enough. I loathe him! I detest him with every fiber of my being.”
“You hate him because it’s easier to make him the villain than to admit that you’ve made mistakes. If you’re looking for the epicenter of all your problems, look in the fucking mirror, sweetheart!”
“How can you take his side?” I cry. “He’s a liar! His lies destroyed my family!”
She throws her hands in the air. “Destroyed your family? What the fuck are you talking about? Seriously, Ari, you’ve lost your damn mind. Yes, he kept things from you, but you kept things from him too! People keep secrets. It’s a fact of life. Get over it! You and Chase lied to everyone for four years. We all forgave you. When you found out Aiden was dying, did you call Chase? Did you betray your father’s wishes and let him know one of the most important people in his life was going to die? No! You sit there on your high horse and act as though you’re so much better than Chase, but you did the same damn thing. The only difference is Chase forgave you for it!”
I drop my head in my hands. “Things could have been different! If he would have told me, I would have made Daddy get to know his other child. Chase deprived him of that opportunity!”
“First of all, Aiden knew about that kid for almost thirty years and never did a damn thing about it. That was his choice. If he wanted to get to know the kid, he would have, but he didn’t. That’s on Aiden, not Chase. And secondly, he wasn’t Aiden’s kid.”
“You don’t know that!”
“Yes, we do! While you were off disappearing into a pile of coke, Chase dealt with everything. He got the book deal quashed.”
I blink a few times, absorbing what she said. “What?”
“You heard me. All of this heartache and emotional nuclear fallout has been for what? Because you found out your dad had an affair thirty years ago. That your mother knew about and forgave him for. They all seemed to make peace with it, but you had to go and blow up your whole damn life and take the rest of us with you!”
Love To Hate You Page 27
