Healing Her Heart

by Kimberly Smith

  Clarence knew that she was right. He did miss Beverly, but she was where she belonged, with her husband and child. He’d put his life on hold to look after her and keep her safe. Beverly had kept him going when Wanda died. She reminded him that he had a child to raise. She’d stepped in when he needed help the most. Beverly had become an important part of his life, and now she was gone. Clarence needed to find something else to do with his time.

  “You’re right,” he said softly. Denise slipped her hand from his and hugged him, kissing his cheek.

  She went back to packing her things as Clarence left the room. Denise’s phone beeped letting her know she had a message. She grabbed it from the top of the dresser, swiping the screen. The new text was from Felicia. She wanted to know how Denise was doing and to tell her that Beverly wanted to see her soon. Denise typed a reply and slid the phone into her back pocket as she crossed the room to look out the window.

  She’d been home from the hospital for several days, and still, there was no call or message from Dr. Sexy. She thought that they’d had a moment the day she was released. That’s why she left the note for him with the ER receptionist, and that’s when she broke rule number one. Never flirt with someone unless you can control the outcome. Now she was feeling a bit foolish because she got the feeling that she’d never be able to control anything about Dr. Sexy. Most of her relationships were geared towards the physical. She was pretty good at keeping men off balance which allowed her to keep the relationship lite and fun, but she had enjoyed the short conversation with Edwin. Denise pushed thoughts of Dr. Sexy out of her mind and finished packing her things.

  **

  The minute Edwin stepped into his parent’s house on Saturday evening, he could tell that Ash was home. The atmosphere in the house had changed, but that’s not what alerted him to Ash’s arrival. It was the yelling coming from the second-floor hallway. Ash was yelling, “That’s why I stay gone all the time.”

  His mother wasn’t yelling, but she wasn’t quiet either, “It’s time for you to grow up. If you insist on a music career, why can’t you do something with more class? Do you have to walk around looking like this? There are singers who haven’t marked their bodies up like this.”

  Edwin was headed to the stairs when his father came down the hallway from his office. “Are they still at it?”

  Edwin sighed, “Sounds like it.” Edwin climbed the stairs followed by his father.

  The women were separated by about five feet of space. Edwin stepped around the corner and the minute Ash saw him, her anger dissolved. She smiled brightly at her brother, running past her mother to fling herself at him. Ash hugged him tightly, “I’m so glad your home,” she said over his shoulder. By the time she let him go, his father had taken his mother down the hall to their room. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too. Let’s get out of here and go grab a beer or something,” Edwin said with a slightly evil smile.

  “I’ll meet you out front. I need to grab my jacket.”

  Edwin started back down the stairs with a smile. When he came into the house and heard the argument, he figured that Ash had died her hair another bold color and she had, but what had shocked him to no end wasn’t the jet-black hair with hot pink highlights. It wasn’t even the fact that one side of her head was shaved. Ash had gotten a piercing in one nostril a long time ago, but it seemed that since Edwin had been away, she had added piercings to the bridge of her nose, her eyebrow, her septum and one just below her lip. In addition to the piercings, it looked as if she had gotten some tattoos as well.

  Once they were in the car driving away from the estate, Ashley turned to look at Edwin. “Thanks for rescuing me. I hadn’t even unpacked, and she started in on me.”

  Edwin sighed, “Ash, what did you expect? Did you think that you would come back, and she would have mellowed out?”

  “No, but I wasn’t expecting her to start demanding that I remove my piercings. She’d have a heart attack if she knew about the ones in my naughty places.”

  “Yuck!” Edwin exclaimed trying to wipe the image from his mind. Ash laughed.

  “Have you ever had sex with someone pierced? Of course, you haven’t. You are too much like mom, but I’m telling you that if you did…”

  “Okay, okay. That’s enough of that,” Edwin said cutting Ash off.

  “Sorry. I forget how prudish you can be.”

  “I am not.”

  “Are too. You are just like mom.”

  “Am not,” Edwin protested, falling into their old way of arguing.

  “If you say so, but I can prove it.”

  “I’m listening,” Edwin said glancing at Ash.

  “You have never, ever done anything that wasn’t approved and sanctioned by mom,” Ashley was looking out the passenger window. “She wanted you to go to Stanford, you went. Mom wanted you to study medicine, you did. She said that you should be a heart specialist, and you are. Now she’s telling you that Tiffany should be your wife and I bet you that you’ll be engaged before summer and married within a year.”

  Edwin glanced at his sister’s profile. “I did all of those things because it was what I wanted, and I don’t think that Tiffany is the woman I want to marry.”

  Ash’s head snapped towards him. “Get the fuck out! What brought this on?”

  Edwin humped his shoulders. There were a few things that made him think that Tiffany wasn’t the one, but he chose the one that made the most sense to him. “We’re not in love with each other.”

  “Have you told mom that you don’t want to marry her?”

  Edwin took a deep breath and let it out. “No.”

  “That’s what I thought,” Ash said as if she was disappointed.

  Edwin turned the car in the parking lot of the restaurant, “What does that mean?”

  As he maneuvered the car into a parking spot, Ashley removed her seatbelt. “It means that you are never going to go against what she wants. It’s just not in your nature. She conditioned you early on to be a people pleaser or I should say a mom pleaser. You can’t help yourself.”

  Edwin sat there for a second or two stunned as Ash got out of the car. He wasn’t a people pleaser, was he?

  **

  They had been sitting at their table for a while, and no one had taken their order. Edwin had brought the situation to the hostess’s attention. He and Ashley had been talking quietly for a bit to get caught up on what they had missed in the last year of their lives, so it wasn’t a big deal. The Manager had come over and apologized with the explanation that they were training some new staff. He promised to have one of his more experienced waiters handle their order and offered them a discount on the meal price.

  In the time that they waited, he thought about what she’d said in the car. He would never have thought of himself as a people pleaser, but under the cold light of Ash’s scrutiny, he realized that she was right. Most of his life, he’d gone along with whatever his mother and father wanted for him. He knew that they wanted him to marry Tiffany. He’d never thought about what he wanted. He felt a bit of excitement as a world of possibilities opened before his eyes.

  “Hi, I’m Keisha. I’ll be your server tonight.” He’d been introduced to her as Denise, but just now, she’d said her name was Keisha. He was confused. Maybe she used her middle name at work. He hadn’t contacted her, but he had thought about her over the last week. Her note was in his wallet, where it had been all week. Her face still had some bruising, and she still had a few scar marks, but they would fade with time. Her hair was pulled back into a curly ponytail. “I’m sorry you had to wait so long. If you’re ready, I’ll take your order now.” She didn’t look at him. She focused her attention on the woman sitting across from him.

  When she turned to him to get his order, she avoided looking at him. “I thought your name was Denise?”

  Denise had been avoiding looking at him out of embarrassment. Judging by the woman he was with It was clear why he hadn’t contacted her. Denise was
not his type at all. She glanced at him. Big mistake, Denise thought as their eyes met. She couldn’t look away from him. “It is. What can I bring you to drink?” She wanted to get away from him, and the best way to do that was to get his food order.

  Edwin had been surprised to see her as she walked across the room looking down at her apron, pulling out her order pad and pen. Then she saw him, and it was like she closed a door in his face. “I’ll have a glass of unsweet tea. He was driving, or he’d have joined his sister in having a beer. He gave her his food order, and she was gone.

  “You know her,” Ash asked with a teasing smile?

  “Not really,” Edwin said with some hesitation as he screwed up his face in a scowl.

  “Details, I need the details.”

  By the time Edwin had explained his association with the waitress, she had returned with their drink orders. He begged Ash to behave. Denise placed their drinks on the table. “Your food will be right out. I asked the chef to prioritize your order,” Denise said curtly.

  Edwin watched her until she disappeared behind the door to the kitchen. When he turned to Ash, she was smiling wickedly at him. “You like her, don’t you?”

  “No. We barely know each other. Her best friend is dating a friend of mine. That’s it.”

  “Sure, it is,” Ash said nodding her head. “Why didn’t you call her?”

  “I’ve been busy. I work twelve hours a day, and when I get home, I want to relax.”

  “That’s a bullshit answer. You’re afraid of stepping out of the box of perfection mom has created for you. You get days off. You should ask her out,” Ash said sipping from her mug of beer.

  Edwin rolled his eyes at his sister. He did get time off. The truth was exactly what Ashley had said about him. He was intrigued by Denise, but something in him knew that he would end up doing what his mother wanted. Edwin took a sip of his tea and looked Ash in the eye.

  “I wish I could be like you, but…”

  “But nothing,” Ash said interrupting him and leaning forward. Have you ever been on a date with anyone other than Tiffany?” She knew the answer, but she wanted him to think about it. “Eddie, your thirty years old and you’ve only had one girlfriend ever and,” she paused, “you took off for doctors without borders to avoid the pressure that was being put on you to get engaged. You like this chick. Ask her out. Live a little.”

  Edwin spent the rest of the evening thinking about what Ash had said to him. She was right about him never having dated anyone other than Tiffany. He’d been too busy doing everything that was required to get into Stanford and then medical school, and after that, his life was about being a doctor. He was never given any free time to pursue other interests.

  He didn’t see Denise again except in passing. Another waiter brought out their food. She moved in and out of the dining room, but she didn’t come near their area again. She never even looked in his direction. His sister was right. He should ask her out. He should do what he wanted for a change.

  4

  Denise took the last of her things from her locker and stuffed them in the bag she’d brought with her. The staff that had known her for the previous few years stood around, wishing her well. They were still calling her Keisha. She hadn’t seen the point in telling them her real name. After today, she probably wouldn’t see any of them again.

  After she thanked everyone, she walked out with a few others who were leaving at the same time. She was almost at her car when her phone beeped with a new message. It would have to wait until she got home. She hated to admit it, but the memories of what had happened to her after being in this parking lot a little over a week ago, scared her.

  She would overcome that fear. She knew that, but it didn’t stop her heart from racing and her palms from sweating. Clarence wanted her to speak to a psychologist, but Denise was determined to get through this on her own. She had done the hardest part. She went back to the place where her trauma had begun. Now Denise had to tell herself that it wouldn’t happen again because she would be more observant of her surroundings. She was confident that she could defend and protect herself. That’s why she would be interviewing for a position as a bounty hunter on Monday.

  The drive home was smooth with little traffic. In the bedroom she undressed and put her things away where they belonged, throwing on an old pair of sweatpants and tee shirt. She slipped on her favorite pair of brightly colored toe socks and went to the kitchen. She pulled out the half bottle of wine that had been sitting in the back of her refrigerator and got a glass down from the cabinet, filling it with the delicious red wine.

  Once she was settled on the sofa with the television playing an old action movie from the eighties, she dug her phone out of her bag to check the message. It was from Edwin.

  Ms. Lewd,

  I’m sorry that it took me this long to contact you, but I would still like the answer to my second question. Let me know when you’re available to continue our exploratory conversation.

  Dr. Sexy

  Denise read the message a second time and then put the phone on the coffee table. The only reason he’d sent the message was that he’d ran into her at the restaurant. She would not respond. Besides, he’d been with another woman. He had a lot of nerve sending that message to her. She no longer felt like Ms. Lewd where the doctor was concerned.

  Denise tried to focus on the cop on the screen and his crazy antics as he tried to solve whatever case he’d fallen into, but her cell phone was in her line of sight. “I’m not going to reply to him,” she said aloud, trying to force herself to watch the action on the screen. During the commercial break, Denise picked up the phone and put it back on the table a few times. “No,” she told herself the third time she put the phone back on the table. What she needed was another glass of wine, Denise thought. A bottle and a half of wine later, she couldn’t talk herself out of sending him a message. Her fingers flew over the tiny keyboard.

  **

  Edwin was sitting in bed watching a movie on cable with his phone next to him. He had sent her the message almost two hours ago, and she hadn’t responded. Maybe she was sleeping, or perhaps she thought that Ash was his girlfriend, He was ready to turn the television off and call it a night when his phone vibrated and pinged that he had a new message.

  Dr. Jerkenstein,

  Ms. Lewd isn’t available. So, there will be no more exploratory conversations. Going forward, know that any messages received will be filed in the waste of time folder, where they will instantly be deleted.

  Sincerely yours,

  Ms. Too Through.

  “Dr. Jerkenstein,” Edwin said aloud. He’d screwed up. Edwin didn’t like these new names. He sat thinking of what he might say to her. Then he sent another message.

  Ms. Too Through,

  Dr. Sexy was disheartened by your last communique. He hopes to redeem himself and asks that Ms. Lewd consider dining with him to discuss his horrible behavior. He hopes that eating crow will appease Ms. Lewd.

  Sincerely,

  Dr. Jerkenstein

  Edwin smiled as he sent the message. He thought it was clever and he hoped that Denise would think so too. She had surprised him with her response. It was witty and let him know exactly what she thought of his behavior. He sat watching his phone like it might vanish if he looked away from it.

  Just when Edwin thought that she really would delete all his messages without responding, his phone came to life in his hand. He took a deep breath and opened the message.

  Dr. Jerkenstein,

  Ms. Lewd is currently unwilling to commit to any meetings with Dr. Sexy. I, however, will take a meeting as I have never seen anyone sufficiently eat crow and live to tell the tale, but Dr. Sexy should be made aware that I am not easily swayed.

  Still,

  Ms. Too Through

  Edwin found himself grinning as he read her message. This was exciting to him. He sent another message with the details of when they could get together. He hoped that she would be willing to see him
the next day. He was off from the hospital, and he had enough time to make the necessary arrangements.

  Ms. Too Through,

  Dr. Sexy is grateful to you for your generosity. He hopes that you are available tomorrow for a late lunch at 2 pm. If you provide your address, a car will be sent for you.

  Dr. Notso Jerkenstein

  Her response was much faster this time, and it included a street address.

  Dr. Notso Jerkenstein

  Don’t get ahead of yourself. I wonder if your middle name is Smooth. What time shall I expect the car?

  Ms. Too Through

  4312 Melody Lane Bldg. 43

  Edwin chuckled as he read it. Dr. Notso Smooth Jerkenstein. At least he knew she had a sense of humor and was quick on her feet. He replied one final time.

  Ms. Too Through,

  The car will arrive to pick you up by 1:30 pm at the noted address. Dr. Sexy looks forward to seeing you.

  Dr. Seriously Notso Jerkenstein.

  **

  Denise groaned and twisted in her position on the couch. She tried to pull the covers over her head, but as she felt around, she couldn’t find them. Denise tried to block out the light using her forearm, placing it over her eyes. She moved her arm blinking against the light as the music from a popular Sunday morning news show sounded in her ears.

  Denise was still in the living room. She must have fallen asleep watching a movie last night. Denise sat up glancing at the two empty bottles of wine on the table next to her phone. She picked up her phone, touching the button to bring up her welcome screen. Nothing happened. It was dead.

  She got up grabbing the bottles and her glass from last night, taking them into the kitchen. She returned taking her phone to the bar to plug into the charger. Her mouth tasted foul. She needed to brush her teeth. She wanted to get rid of the sour taste of old wine.

  After brushing her teeth and showering, she returned to her bedroom. She put on an oversized tee shirt, towel-dried her hair, applying a leave-in conditioner since she was going to let it air dry. Her stomach grumbled from hunger. She hadn’t eaten anything since before she went to the restaurant the day before. As she passed the bar on her way into the kitchen, Denise stopped hitting the power button on her phone.