“Don’t be ridiculous,” Edith said. “I’m strong as an ox. I’ve got a full day ahead of me. I’m going to go to the cemetery to meet up with a few of the guys, and then we might do a little haunting of Hank’s ex-son-in-law.” If all the ghosts pooled their energy, they could increase their physical presence enough to do things like knock pictures off walls and rattle windows. And Hank really didn’t like his ex-son-in-law.
“What are you doing later?” Miranda asked.
“Not sure yet. We might watch the poker game at the Rotgut. Or spy on the kids at Lover’s Lane.”
“Gross. I do not need to know that. I can’t believe that even being dead hasn’t matured you. Playing pranks like a Halloween spook, acting like a bunch of peeping Toms…” Miranda shook her head chidingly.
Her grandmother snorted. “And I wouldn’t believe you’re related to me if you didn’t look just like me. You got my hips. And my boobs.” She patted her ample chest with satisfaction. “Okay, I’m going to go have me some fun. Unless you think those thugs might try to nab you again. Are you sure you’re safe here on your own?”
“You go do your ghost thing,” Miranda said, waving her hand. “I’ll be fine.”
Her grandmother turned and walked off…through the wall.
A little while later there was a sharp rapping on the front door of Miranda’s shop, and she checked out the window to see Suki, a wolf shifter who lived in the eastern territory. She’d called Suki earlier, as soon as she’d woken up and seen what she looked like in the mirror.
“I got here as soon as I could,” Suki said apologetically. She peered at Miranda’s face and shook her head. “And not a moment too soon. Let’s hurry up and get you fixed up before you officially open and customers see you like this.”
“You’re so adorable,” Miranda said. “Customers. I wonder what a customer looks like.”
“Have you given any thought to maybe moving to the west or east?”
“No money. I couldn’t pay the rent.”
Since this building had been abandoned in the southern territory and nobody had claimed it, it was free. There were no vacant buildings in the high-traffic areas in the east and west, and even renting part of an existing building would have been too expensive.
Also, her pack – well, her former pack – had allied with a pack that had once been at war with the Alpha Prime of the eastern territory, a man named Brandon Sheffield, so she wouldn’t be allowed to set up business there. Alphas had long memories.
However, there were no other candle shops in the entire territory, and there was no electricity in a lot of areas up here, so she still held out hope that business might pick up eventually.
Suki was carrying her makeup bag. She worked at a barbershop, but she had majored in theater and still had all her theatrical makeup. There was a newly built theater in the western territory, and she was doing all the makeup and hair for their upcoming Shakespeare Festival.
They walked back into the bathroom, and Suki set her makeup bag down on the counter.
Miranda sat on the toilet seat and Suki got to work, quickly and expertly using her brushes to dab thick, skin-colored foundation over the bruises on Miranda’s face.
“I can’t believe those bastards did this to you,” Suki said, shaking her head. “I hope they got the message from Creel.” That was harsh language from Suki, who was usually all sunshine and light.
“I’m sure they won’t bother me again,” Miranda said with a confidence she didn’t feel. She was sure of no such thing. In fact she was pretty sure that they would come after her again.
But Suki was a very small, meek wolf shifter, who wouldn’t last two minutes in a fight. Suki was also a good and loyal friend, so if she thought Miranda was in any danger, she would stick around and insist on trying to help. There was no point in Miranda dragging her friends into a fight she couldn’t win. This was her problem, not theirs.
“What is this fascinating ritual that you two are partaking of?” said a voice outside the bathroom. Hephzibah, Miranda’s volunteer employee, had arrived for the day.
Hephzibah was a burrowing owl shifter and a graduate student at Northeastern Shifter University. She was spending the summer on some kind of research project. She’d started to explain it to Miranda, but she’d used too many multisyllabic words, and Miranda had tuned her out halfway.
Hephzibah was a skinny girl with big glasses and brown hair piled messily in a bun. She wore a shirt that was buttoned up to her chin and a shapeless skirt. She always looked as if she was floating in her baggy clothes.
She was working for Miranda for free in exchange for a place to stay; she lived in a tiny cabin at the back of the property. Also, Miranda got the impression that nobody else had been willing to hire Hephzibah for actual money.
“I’m doing Miranda’s makeup,” Suki explained.
“Most intriguing.” Hephzibah pulled a pad of paper from her purse and began scribbling. “Will the mating ritual commence soon, then? I thought that most people did not engage in the social encounters known as dating until much later in the day.”
“Oh, no, she’s not going on a date. I’m covering her bruises,” Suki said to Hephzibah. She reached into her bag and pulled out a pan of blush. Then she unrolled a canvas brush holder and pulled out a brush and gently stroked blush onto Miranda’s cheeks.
Hephzibah peered at Miranda again in the clinical, dispassionate way she always did. Many people found her offputting, but Miranda didn’t mind it. The few times when customers had wandered into Miranda’s store, Hephzibah had walked over and stared at them as if they were laboratory specimens, and begun asking them questions that anyone else would have thought were bizarre. The customers had quickly left, and it had been suggested to Miranda that perhaps she would have better luck if she got rid of Hephzibah.
“Since Miranda normally does not wear any makeup, I assumed that you were engaging in this ritual to attempt the seduction of a male of your own species,” Hephzibah said.
“Nah, I’m not really looking for love at the moment,” Miranda said, thinking bitterly of Creel’s rejection of her. “Suki’s helping me hide these bruises in case we get any customers today.”
“Why?” Hepzhibah asked. “It has been two point five weeks since any new customers entered the premises, so the statistical likelihood of that is—”
“Very high!” Suki said, using a powder puff to set the makeup on Miranda’s face. “Hephzibah, really, you’ve got to learn to be more positive in your outlook.”
Hephzibah looked at Suki with genuine puzzlement. “But I am positive,” Hephzibah said. “This is a small territory, and very few people venture into the south district, and everyone in the south district already knows that Miranda is here, and they have apparently decided that they do not need to purchase her merchandise. Since there is little chance of people wandering into this territory for—”
“Hephzibah, please go in the other room,” Suki said with annoyance, and shut the bathroom door in Hephzibah’s face with a bang.
“Suki, it’s not her fault,” Miranda chided her. “She doesn’t have any social skills, but she means well. And frankly, she’s right. I may have to figure out what to do if my shop fails.” She peered at Suki. “You’re unusually on edge today. Usually you’d make Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm look like a cranky pessimist.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll apologize to her,” Suki said. “I had another terrible date last night. Bear shifter. Gross, crude, burped and farted all through dinner, grabbed my plate when I was half done and asked if I was done with it and then started eating my food before I could answer. And I was still hungry.”
“That’s a death penalty offense right there,” Miranda said sympathetically.
“And then I said I had a headache and was going home early, and he asked if we were going to – how shall I put it – fornicate there in the parking lot or back at my house. Except he didn’t say fornicate. And he was surprised when I stomped off without answering.”
&nbs
p; She heaved a sigh. “We’re doing Romeo and Juliet at the playhouse right now. Men used to be so romantic, didn’t they? What happened?”
“Well, I wouldn’t necessarily look to Romeo and Juliet as a model of how true romance should go. The right guy will come along,” Miranda said. “One bad date doesn’t mean there’s no good guys out there.”
Suki sniffed. “What about a million bad dates?”
“Never give up hope.” She stood up. “Okay, you fixed me! Thanks a million. Now if a miracle happens and a customer walks in the door, they won’t run out screaming after they look at my face.”
“Give me some more flyers – I’ll put them up again. I put them all over my territory just last week, like a hundred of them.” She frowned. “When I put them up, they seem to disappear really quickly. This time I’m going to keep an eye out to see who’s doing it.”
“They do? Maybe it’s some anti-littering wacko. Well, it doesn’t matter, because I can’t afford new flyers right now anyway. No, I won’t let you pay for them,” she added quickly as Suki opened her mouth.
“Maybe some of the Alpha Primes who’re coming in to town for that meetup will want to settle in the south,” Suki said hopefully.
“Yeah, if the humans don’t blow up the territory first,” Miranda said drily.
There was going to be an Alpha Prime Summit in the next month, with representatives from all across the nation. It was going to be a huge deal. There were about thirty of them, they were each bringing dozens of pack members, and it would be a big boost to all the local businesses. A couple of hotels and a fancy new meeting house were being built just to accommodate them.
The ultimate goal was to relocate a few thousand shifters from around the country to this new territory. It was a land grant from the human government. As the shifter population grew, the government was searching for new areas to move them to, where they wouldn’t have to interact with humans.
Unfortunately, some humans in the government’s Shifter Affairs Division had also tried to sabotage the whole effort. They’d sent up many of the worst shifters – ferals, criminals, thugs – and set the first settlers of the territory at each other’s throats. The previous fall, though, the more law-abiding shifters had banded together and driven out most of the troublemakers.
There was a lot of concern that humans would try to sabotage the Alpha Prime gathering. There had even been death threats phoned in to the Alpha Primes in the west and east from some new group called the Human Defense Militia, threatening to blow up the town if the meeting took place.
Whoever had sent those threats didn’t know Alphas very well. All the Millitia had done was guarantee that even more Alpha Primes would come here for a meeting.
“It doesn’t even make sense,” Suki sighed. “This area is so remote from the humans, you’d think that the anti-shifter faction would want all the shifters to move up here. Why discourage it?”
“Irrational hate? Who knows?” Miranda said.
Anyway, even if the Alpha Prime meeting went off without a hitch, Miranda knew that it was unlikely that any of the primes would choose to settle in the south. The north was where they were looking. It was empty and undeveloped so far, and it had flat land and rich natural resources with tens of thousands of acres of virgin forest. The south was studded with glacial boulders, and all the ledge rock under the soil made it hard to build and farm. The few roads were bone-jarringly rough, and it was hilly and unwelcoming. The shifters who moved out there were the misfits who couldn’t get along with anyone else.
The two women left the bathroom. Hephzibah was dusting the shelves. She glanced up as they came out.
“It appears that I might have accidentally offended one or both of you a few minutes ago,” Hephzibah said.
“It’s not your fault,” Suki said with a sigh.
“What, specifically, was the nature of my offense?” Hephzibah said. “I need to know for research purposes.”
“Well, Miranda is struggling to make this store a success, so we should try to be encouraging about her prospects,” Suki said.
“But her prospects are terrible,” Hephzibah said, looking puzzled.
Suki rolled her eyes.
Miranda elbowed her. “It’s fine,” she whispered.
“All right then! I have to get to work,” Suki said with a forced smile, and marched out of the shop.
A little while later, as she sat behind the counter, the front door banged open and three of her pack members walked in. Terrence, Franco and Willy. Clegg and Beauford weren’t with them; she imagined they were still recovering from the beat-down they’d experienced the day before.
Terrence looked at Miranda and his lip curled up in a sneer. “Still no claiming mark, I see,” he said.
“That’s really none of your business,” Miranda said. “Creel told you guys yesterday that he claimed me. Now get out of my store.”
Terrence cast a scornful glance around the store. His gaze lit on Hephzibah.
“What’s that weirdo doing here?” he demanded.
“I am engaged in the study of shifter interactions and interpersonal relations between the cohorts of different theriomorphic species.” She didn’t seem hurt by Terrence’s insult, just anxious to explain why she was there. For once, Miranda was glad that Hephzibah was completely socially clueless.
Hephzibah looked at Miranda. “They do not appear to comprehend my explanation. Should I attempt to communicate with them in words that are more suitable to, say, a fourth-grade reading level? Or is that overly optimistic?”
Terrence, Willie and Franco exchanged puzzled glances.
“Is she making fun of me?” Terrence snarled, glaring at Miranda. He moved towards Hephzibah with his fists clenched threateningly.
“No need for her to. You don’t need any help to make yourselves look like idiots – you do just fine on your own. And you’re really pushing your luck,” Miranda said. “I thought Creel made it clear yesterday that you guys need to leave me alone.”
Willie looked at her. “You’re wearing makeup,” he said. “Why would a woman wear makeup unless she’s trying to trap a man? You already got a man suckered into claiming you, or so you say. But if you really were claimed, you wouldn’t be wearing no makeup.”
“Oh! I have an answer for you. The Neanderthal era called – they want you to be their official spokesperson,” Miranda said.
“I got that!” Hephzibah said excitedly. “The Neanderthal era did not literally call you, because that, of course, would be impossible. It was an era, not something that could take physical form, and an era cannot possess vocal cords. So you were making a joke, referencing his outdated mores and beliefs.”
Miranda clapped. “Hooray! There’s hope for you yet,” she said.
“Is she for real?” Terrence said.
“I am standing right here, and you could not possibly all be hallucinating my presence, so of course I am real,” Hephzibah said. “Do you need your eyesight checked? I can provide you with the name of an excellent ophthalmologist.”
“And she’s back to square one,” Miranda said, shaking her head.
“Fuck this. I’m sick of hanging around you two freaks. You aren’t mated to Creel. If you are, tell him he can come to our campsite and try to get me to pay for this,” Terrence said, and he swept his arm along one of the shelves and sent a dozen candles crashing to the floor. The candles were in ceramic jars, and they shattered.
Then he kicked a hole in the screen door. “And this,” he said. And he and his friends left, guffawing loudly.
Hephzibah stared as they left, and then her face lit up.
“Oh, I know!” she said excitedly.
“You know what?” Miranda said. “You know how to keep them out of my shop?”
“No, much better! I know their diagnosis!” Hephzibah said happily. “They’re sociopaths!”
“Hooray,” Miranda said glumly, and went to get the broom.
Chapter Four
That eveni
ng, as the sun sank low on the horizon, Creel deliberately avoided passing by Miranda’s shop when he went to the Rotgut. It meant he had to go out of his way, and there was no particular reason that he did that, because he certainly didn’t care about her enough one way or another to try to avoid her.
The fact that he had decided to come into town after he hadn’t been there for weeks didn’t mean anything either, he told himself as he pulled up in front of the Rotgut and parked his car.
His friends Douglas and Hyatt, a wolf shifter and a coyote shifter, were sitting out front. There was a third guy with them – a skinny, redheaded fox shifter named Rory. Rory carried a Nikon camera with him everywhere, and he was always snapping nature pictures. He was new in town. Hyatt invited him along when he went out because Hyatt was a compulsively nice guy and always tried to include people and make them feel welcome. In other words, total weirdo.
“Haven’t seen you in town a while,” Douglas said. “By the way, any chance you can help me go deal with the Mathers situation?”
“Which one is that?” Creel said. “Is that the drunk guy who keeps pissing on his neighbor’s lawn?”
“No, that was Billy Bob Lee,” Douglas said. “Took care of that myself already.”
“Killed him?” Creel grunted.
Douglas gave Creel a chastising look. “He’s got a wife and three cubs, and he’s decent enough when he’s not drinking. I dragged him off and locked him up in my spare room ’til he sobered up, told him I’d give him an ass-whupping if he didn’t lay off the sauce. Asked him if he wanted to lose his job. Nobody likes a drunken lumberjack. And if he loses his job, his wife and cubs lose their home. He stopped drinking and he’s behaving now.”
“Good for you,” Creel said. He did a sarcastic slow clap. “Did you braid his fur and paint his claws too?”
“This isn’t my natural talent,” Douglas said, ignoring Creel’s sarcasm. “This area really needs an Alpha to take charge. I’m a Beta at best. And that’s on a good day, when I’ve eaten my Wheaties.”
“Don’t look at me, I’m a pussy,” Hyatt said cheerfully.
His Curvy Mate (Alpha Prime Book 2) Page 3
