by Linda Warren
As she sipped her coffee, Alex wondered what Buck was so afraid of. There was a definite tone of fear in his voice. Then it hit her. He liked having Naddy under his thumb. It was the way things had always been between them and he was afraid of change. And he was afraid of losing his mother. Or maybe she had her rose-colored glasses on this morning. Or it could be that she was in love and she now saw the world differently.
“I’ll talk to Naddy.”
“Did I hear my name?” Naddy walked in looking like something out of a scary movie. Her hair stuck out in all directions and her makeup was smeared, her eyeliner running in trails down her cheeks. Evidently she’d gone out shopping yesterday and had forgotten to remove her war paint.
Naddy pointed a finger at Buck. “You can badmouth me all you want, but I’m gettin’ a hot tub.”
“Not on my patio.” He slapped the paper onto the table. “The last thing the neighbors need is to see you in a bathing suit.”
Naddy placed her hands on her hips. “Who said I was going to wear one?”
Buck’s mouth fell open and Alex set down her cup. “I’m outta here.” She kissed Naddy’s cheek. “Wash your face. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Alex smiled all the way to her car. Backing out of the drive, she made a decision. It was time to stop telling herself to get a life and to get one. She stopped at a real estate office and asked to see some apartments.
Within the hour, she’d signed a lease. The agent kept trying to show her more apartments, but she liked the third one she looked at—a two-bedroom on a ground floor with a view of a large pool. The apartments were new and the extra bedroom would be nice if Buck kicked Naddy out. The pool might take her mind off the hot tub.
She immediately recognized what she was doing with that thought—clinging to those ties of family. But she would never abandon Naddy.
She stopped for a quick bite and wondered what Brodie was doing. Even though he was nervous, he wouldn’t back out of the meeting. She couldn’t wait to see him. They’d been apart too long.
As she parked her Jeep in her spot, she noticed his truck was already there. Why was he so early? The Braxtons weren’t due for another thirty minutes. Maybe he missed her, too.
She hurried inside and found him pacing in her office. “Hi,” she said, throwing her purse on her desk. “You’re early.” She went into his arms and he gripped her tightly.
“Thought I’d have a few minutes with you first.”
She drew back. “These people have been waiting forever to see you. Just relax.”
“I hope they don’t expect too much. I’m just trying to get through this.”
“Brodie…”
They heard the front door open. The Braxtons were early, too. Brodie stiffened and she didn’t know how to help him. She gave him a quick kiss then went to meet the Braxtons.
“Is he here?” Helen asked, eager as a child.
“Yes. He’s in my office. Let’s just take it slow.”
B RODIE WAITED with his breath wedged in his throat like a piece of barbed wire. After hearing their story, he couldn’t in good conscience continue to refuse to see them. They were victims in this drama, just as he was.
An older woman of medium height with graying brown hair and green eyes came in first. A man and younger woman stood behind her. Tears filled the woman’s eyes when she saw him.
“You’re my son.”
He removed his hat. “I believe so, ma’am.”
“This is your father, George, and your sister, Maggie.”
“Nice to meet you.” The knot in his stomach was so tight he had trouble breathing.
George stepped forward. “I thought I’d never live to see this day. You’re my boy. The one who was stolen from the hospital.”
“Yes, sir,” Brodie replied, staring at the gray-haired man. He saw his own features reflected in the man’s face and he knew that in the years ahead, he would look just like this man—his father. It was a startling revelation.
Something clicked in his head and the link that tied him to Thomas and Claudia Hayes weakened. The Braxtons were real. Their blood ran through his veins. He was on the verge of finding a part of himself—the part that had been missing for so many years.
“Did Alex give you the baby rattle?” Helen asked.
“Yes. Thank you.”
“I’ve had it since you were born.”
Brodie didn’t know what to say. When Alex had given it to him, it had meant nothing and he felt bad about that. But seeing the hope in Helen’s eyes he knew it meant a lot to her.
“I always wondered what you looked like,” Helen went on. “You look the same as George as a young man.”
“People said I looked like my father, Thomas Hayes.” The words came out before he could stop them.
“He’s not your father,” George shouted.
Maggie clutched his arm. “Dad, please.”
“I’m sorry,” George apologized. “I’m a little emotional.”
“I am, too,” Brodie said. “And I’m feeling overwhelmed so please give me time to adjust.”
“Sure.” Helen walked closer. “We know that you’re grown, but we just want to be a part of your life.”
“I’m not sure what that is at the moment.”
“Mom, Dad, I think we need to go,” Maggie said.
“Okay.” But Helen hesitated. “Maybe you’ll come for Sunday dinner. I make a pot roast that all my kids love.”
“I’ll think about it,” was all he could say. He saw the hurt in her eyes, but he felt powerless to change that. He needed to do things at his own pace.
Maggie scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to him. “Here are our phone numbers and address, just in case you feel the need to visit.”
“Thank you.”
Helen looked at him. “Do you mind if I hug you?”
He swallowed hard, knowing if she touched him, it would change him forever. But he felt powerless to stop that, too.
“No,” he muttered.
Her arms went around his waist and she clung to him, his shirt soaking up her tears.
“Mom.” Maggie gently pulled her away.
The trio walked out and he had to take several deep breaths. Alex moved toward him and he gripped her with arms that trembled.
“It went well,” she said.
He drew back. “I have to get out of here.” He fled from the office.
“Brodie.” Alex ran after him, but the white truck was already backing out. She would let him go—for now.
Buck walked in with a box of files. “Close the door,” he ordered. “You’re letting out all the cool air.”
She closed the door with a sinking feeling in her stomach.
“I need your help with these files,” Buck said. “So park your butt in a chair and get to work.”
She spent the rest of the afternoon helping Buck on the Davis case, but her thoughts were never far from Brodie.
B RODIE DID WHAT he always did when the world closed in on him. He saddled up. When he rode, there were no doubts, no insecurities. He was in control completely and he needed to feel that way today—to have some sort of reality.
But as hard as he rode, he couldn’t escape the reality he’d met today—his biological parents. The pain and grief in their eyes was impossible to ignore. That was his fault—he was the cause of that pain.
As the sun sank in the distant horizon, he made his way back to the barn, letting Jax take his time. He couldn’t outride the demons chasing him. He had to face them.
In the barn, he unsaddled his h
orse and rubbed him down. Opening the gate to the pasture, he saw headlights coming down the road. He knew who it was. Alex.
He quickly strolled toward the house and she met him halfway. “How are you?” she asked.
“I’d feel a lot better with my arms around you.”
“You got it, cowboy.” She went into his arms and he held her tight, loving the lavender scent of her hair, the softness of her body. But most of all he just loved…He stilled as the truth made itself known. He loved her. The realization was overwhelming. This was something he never thought would happen to him. His love had grown out of her caring and loving nature. But was it real? Or was it something he needed to cling to because of all of the problems in his life?
What was he doing? He had no right to drag her into his messed up world.
“Brodie?” She looked up at him.
He should end it now before she got hurt. He had nothing to offer her, not even a name. But she’d asked nothing of him and he found he couldn’t do the right thing. He still needed her. He might hate himself in the morning, but tonight he was going to love her like there was no tomorrow.
He looped an arm around her waist and they walked to the house. Inside he took her into his arms and kissed her with a hunger he didn’t disguise, then he led her to the bedroom.
T HEIR LOVEMAKING was intense and wild, born out of a need to find comfort in each other. A long time later their sweat-bathed bodies lay entwined. Alex was relaxed and sated to the point that all she wanted to do was sleep. But they had to talk.
She rose to a sitting position. “Feel better?”
“Yep.” He reached up to touch her breast. “Your kisses are better than the kick I get from that first cup of coffee in the morning. And making love with you is better than any eight-second ride I’ve ever accomplished.”
“Wow. Those are some powerful words.”
“I mean them.”
As much as she wanted to get lost in what he was saying, she couldn’t. There were so many things they needed to discuss.
She stroked his chest. “Let’s talk.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Please. For me.”
He turned onto his side, his head propped in his hand. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Today.”
“Today I saw all their pain. It was almost more than I could stomach, but I just couldn’t undo forty years. I couldn’t be their son.”
“It will take time.”
“I’m not so sure I’ll ever be ready to be their son.”
She curled her legs beneath her, trying to figure out what was really bothering him. Then she knew what it was.
“It’s all right to be angry.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s all right to be angry with Claudia. Ever since you found out you haven’t allowed yourself to be angry at her.”
“Didn’t see the need.”
“But you’re angry. Admit it.”
He scooted up to the headboard, but didn’t say anything.
“Admit that you’re angry.”
“Okay,” he snapped. “I’m angry. She took me out of that hospital uncaring about what she was doing to me and that family. She just wanted a child because she knew Thomas would blame her for the death of his son. For years I lived with a knot in my gut because I couldn’t be the son they wanted me to be. Finally, I couldn’t take the pressure anymore and I bolted for some peace of mind.” He dragged his hands over his face. “How could she do that to me? To that family?”
“Because she wasn’t in her right mind.”
“I know,” he murmured.
There was complete silence.
“Now forgive her. Really forgive her.”
“What?” He turned his head toward her. The room was in darkness, except for the moonlight and she couldn’t see his eyes.
“Forgive Claudia. You said the words in the hospital, but you didn’t mean them. You said them to console her. Now say them for yourself and mean them. You have to do that to move forward.”
“Are you a psychologist, too?”
“Dime-store variety.”
There was a long silence again.
“Forgive her,” Alex finally said. “In your heart I know you already have. That’s why you stayed by her bedside until she died.”
He still didn’t say anything.
“Say ‘I forgive you, Mother.’ Close that door forever. Feel those words, Brodie.”
She waited for what seemed like an hour, but it was only seconds.
“I forgive you, Mother.”
She waited again.
“I forgive you, Mother. I really do.” He looked at her. “I really do.”
She threw herself into his arms, kissing his face repeatedly.
When they came up for air, he asked, “Hungry?”
“Ravenous.”
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and reached for his jeans. “I’ll put Camila’s enchiladas in the oven.”
She tugged on his shirt and quickly followed.
In the kitchen, she could see that he was so much better. He actually smiled a couple of times and she knew he was going to be okay.
She slept another night in his bed and left early so she could make it to work on time. Buck’s patience was wearing thin.
“T HIS IS STARTING to be a pattern,” Buck said as she entered the house.
She poured a cup of coffee. “Not for long. I rented an apartment yesterday.”
He laid down the paper. “What’d you do that for?”
She blinked. “I told you I was moving out.”
“I didn’t think you meant it. And why do you need an apartment? You have a home right here.”
“Are you getting senile? You’ve told me many times I needed to move out, get married, have kids, blah, blah, blah.”
“Are you married?”
“No,” she said slowly as if speaking to a child. “We’ve talked about this.”
“Well, go, but you’re not leaving Naddy with me.”
She placed her hands on her hips. “We’ve had this discussion, too. You said you wouldn’t kick Naddy out.”
“I’ve changed my mind.”
She saw that look in his eyes that she’d seen the other day—fear. He was afraid of losing his family. Could Buck actually love her and Naddy? Could he really have a heart?
“No. You don’t get to do that.” She headed for the stairs, knowing she wasn’t changing her mind.
“It’ll be on your head if I kill Naddy.”
“I’ll visit you in prison,” she called, running up the stairs.
She always knew she didn’t have a normal family, but now she wondered what defined normal. Was it a woman stealing a baby and pretending it was her own? Or was it, like Naddy, living life to the fullest? Or was it, like Buck, keeping all his emotions inside? Maybe it was living life the best way you could—accepting, forgiving and loving.
Chapter Sixteen
In the next few days Brodie knew he’d turned a corner. All because of Alex and her caring. She’d gotten him to open up and talk. He never had a problem talking, but lately he’d shut down his emotions, except with her.
He still wasn’t sure about a lot of things, but he was ready to face each day—and the Braxton family. Once he opened that door he had to be prepared to walk through it and deal with Travis Braxton—the man he was. Or the man he was supposed to be.
He was still hesitant, but Colter and Tripp encouraged him to take the first step. And
Alex agreed with them. So he made the phone call and arranged to visit on Sunday. He took Alex with him and he was beginning to see that she was his comfort blanket.
The day was overwhelming and at times he felt as if he was suffocating. Helen and Maggie smothered him with attention and George asked a million questions. His nephew, Cody, and his niece, Amber, were there, too. He made it through the meal but as soon as it was over, he had to get away—just to breathe.
Holding Alex that night made it all better. But how long could he continue to use her? He wanted to offer her a future, but he was still having a lot of conflicting emotions. How could he spend his life with her if he didn’t know who he was?
Years ago, he’d learned once you fell off a horse, you dusted off your britches and got back on. So that’s what he did. He went back to the Braxtons for shorter visits. George showed him his horses and they rode together.
The next weekend he taught Cody to rope and he cranked the tractor and mowed the weeds that covered the property. That constant knot in his stomach began to melt away as he got to know his new family.
Alex moved into an apartment and bought new furniture. He helped her arrange it, then he spent the night with her, “breaking in the bed” as she called it. The next morning he knew he couldn’t live in the city. He was country, pure and simple, and he wondered at the difference in him and Alex. Was the gulf too wide to make a relationship work? Would she give up the city for him?
At the moment he didn’t feel he had the right to ask that of her. But soon he’d have to make a decision about Alex. The thought of letting her go sent a pain through his chest. Love had finally bitten Brodie Hayes and he didn’t have a clue what to do about it.
Under normal circumstances it would be very simple. Get married, have kids, be happy. Was that possible for them? Or was he just clinging to her out of need brought on by the shock of his real identity?
Why did life have to be this difficult? Riding a bull was so much easier. Broken bones healed, but his heart was another matter.
A LEX WAS HAVING a headache of a day. It started with Naddy and Buck arguing over the reward money. Naddy had her sights set on a Cadillac. Just as she was trying to make Naddy see sense and keep Buck’s temper in check, her phone rang.
