by Mary Calmes
“It’s over,” I soothed. “And now I will hear only your words, my semel.”
A sharp inhale. “I love you, Jin, and not because you’re mine or because you’re my reah, but because you have my heart. Always.”
“Yes,” I murmured, lifting to kiss the corner of his mouth and suck his bottom lip between mine before taking another delicate nibble. “And I will have you and claim what has always been and will always be mine.”
“As will I,” he promised darkly, and a flush of heat ran through me.
“Jin!” Delphine yelled as she ran over to us, unable, it seemed, to wait any longer.
Turning, I held the blanket closed as I put an arm around her, wiggling like a puppy excited to see its favorite human. She hugged me tight, kissing my cheek, and then it was Markel’s turn, and Logan’s mother’s.
I sighed. “I’m sorry you had to choose between your children, but I’m overwhelmed that you’re here with us, with Logan and Delphine.”
“And you, my sweet boy,” Eva said gently, hands on my face, smiling through her tears.
I hugged her again because she and I had always understood each other. She was a gift, and I’d always treated her that way.
“Go shower, and then put on some clothes,” Crane groused at me.
I gestured for him, and he made a big deal of pretending he didn’t want to touch me before he lunged and grabbed me into a mauling hug.
“Don’t—leave me again,” he muttered.
“No,” I promised. “You will remain forever at my side.”
Crane shoved his face down against my shoulder and inhaled deeply before he stepped back. “God, that’s amazing.”
“What is?”
“You smell like you and you sound like you all at once.”
My chuckle was low. “And who else would I be?”
“Just go shower,” he groused.
“First I need to hug your wife,” I baited as Yusuke flew into my outstretched arm.
It was so very good to be home.
Chapter 9
DELPHINE TOOK Ilia to shower and change after he and Logan snuggled together on the couch. It was obvious that Ilia wanted to stay with his father, nestled in his lap, and sleep. But he needed to shower and get cleaned up after he’d been a panther for more than five, close to six, months. It was interesting that adults, left in animal form for that long, would have had trouble returning to talking and interacting and simply being human. Children had a far easier time because they were not yet locked into one reality or one way of thinking about themselves.
As I stood under the hot water in our huge walk-in shower, I tried to imagine what Logan could be planning, and then it hit me as I heard the snick of the enclosure door opening.
“This is what we fought about,” I said as my beautiful man joined me under the spray, putting a tube down beside the shampoo on the shelf.
“Did we fight?” he asked as he bent to kiss me.
“You know we did,” I flared, angry, remembering what he wanted to give up even as his lips opened for me.
“You said you would claim what was yours,” he whispered, lost in his desire, nothing else mattering at the moment.
I reached up and coiled my arms around his neck, letting him lift me off my feet and into his hands. His fingers dug into my ass before gripping my thighs, wrapping them around his waist and then taking hold of my thickening cock.
He stroked me from base to tip, and the water allowed it to be smooth before he twisted for the lube he had carried in.
“Maybe I don’t want to be taken against the wall,” I said breathlessly, shivering with just the thought of such a show of strength.
His low, seductive chuckle brought a moan from deep in my chest as he slid me up the wall, pinning me there with his big, hard body as he fumbled with the lube.
“It’s enough,” I insisted, not caring, just wanting him in me, how easy the slide would be of no concern.
“Patience,” he rumbled before he tossed the bottle away and lifted his chin for my kiss.
I took him ravenously, open-mouthed, sucking on his tongue, his lips, wanting all of him, certain that he’d forgotten he was as much mine as I was his.
“Fuck, Jin, you smell so good.”
My pheromones were unleashed, trying to drive him crazy; our bond was there, pulsing between us, and even more, the reah that I was yearned to be claimed by my semel.
Sex, the physical act, was always furious and wild between us, but now, I knew who I was, and it was hard even to breathe around my need.
“My semel,” I ground out, bucking against him as I felt my fangs erupt and my claws come out.
He lowered me slowly, holding my gaze as my ass settled over his glans, and then he drove up into me in one powerful thrust.
“Logan!” I yelled, and he peeled me off the wall and sat down hard on the marble bench, impaling me completely on his enormous length.
My left hand clutched at his broad muscular back, my claws slicing into his skin as I wrapped the other around his head, hugging him close as he pistoned up into me. His hips snapped furiously as I finally got my knees under me and bore down.
“Take me in,” he groaned raggedly as I rode him hard, my claws buried in his shoulder blades, blood flowing freely with the water.
I could never deny Logan Church any part of my mind, my body, or my soul. All of it, all of me, was his.
“Jin… tell me now.”
My gaze traveled his powerful, delectable frame, up the massive chest, across the gorgeous pectorals, and then slid to his eyes, locking in place.
“Do I feel good?” he asked with a smile that was pure sex.
“Oh yes.” I shivered as he throbbed inside me. “I want you deeper.”
“I want you to come,” he almost snarled, fisting my cock, squeezing tight, slamming up into me as I begged him for more.
He roared my name and then stood easily, even with me writhing against him, flipped off the water, and then rolled me to the floor. I braced my hands on the marble wall behind me and arched my back as he curled over me, pounding inside of me, taking me fast—each thrust, each roll of his hips harder than the last.
Before, without my memory, he would have never trusted himself to simply unleash his animal. But now, I saw his skin run with fur as I went from having a man fucking me to a beast.
Logan’s claws dug into my skin, and my blood joined his in the shower drain as he rammed into my ass with strength that could have hurt me, broken me, if I was anything but his mate. The reah that I was, was made to take him in any form he possessed, and so my muscles rippled around his length as I came, shuddering in pleasure, his weight pinning me to the floor, utterly necessary.
Logan, buried in my body, released deep inside, trembling before he collapsed over me, and in that moment, I could not tell the sound of my heartbeat from his.
As he dragged in air, strong arms wrapped around me, and I noted that they were those of a man.
“Jin,” he rasped, his mouth on the side of my neck, nuzzling, licking, kissing, and finally claiming my lips as I turned into him.
I understood there were no secrets between us, no unspoken words, no unshared desire. He knew me in every sense, in every way, and my soul was bare where he was concerned.
He kissed me breathless, boneless, when he eased from my still clasping channel with such tenderness, and I whimpered at the loss.
“You came back to me,” he husked, and I could tell he was overwhelmed.
We had to stay like that, tangled together on the floor of the shower until he could stop shaking and I could stop crying.
It took quite some time for both of us.
ABOUT TWO hours after we’d arrived, when I was ready to talk to Logan about his plans, he was, of course, ready to eat. I was going to tell him no, but Ilia came bouncing into the room and climbed up into my mate’s lap and announced that a late dinner was ready. I nearly came unglued watching Logan gaze at his son and Ilia smile u
p at his father before leaning against Logan’s chest and tipping his head back. Basically, he was looking at Logan upside down, his hands on his father’s face, his little knobby elbows pointing out at me. There was so much love there. I could tell Ilia had been missing his father, missing the emotional closeness as much as he’d been longing for my physical presence. We were a family again, and Ilia was rolling around in it like catnip.
“Are we gonna eat?” he wanted to know.
“I need to speak to your father.”
He pouted, and Logan’s pleading gaze flicked to me. I had barely been able to ignore the wet hair still standing up in tufts, the golden stubble on his face, and the sexy grin as Logan watched me pace. He was far too alluring not to attack, but I had things to say. The issue was, now he had Ilia looking at me with his sweet little face…
I gave in. “Fine, let’s eat.”
Ilia was so pleased, and his whoop of joy before he launched himself at me made that more than obvious.
Downstairs, the dining room was full of people, and while Logan had to duck away for a moment to answer a phone call, I was able to see my family.
Eva was immediately there to hug and kiss me, and I told her how amazing the house smelled.
“I made all your favorites, Jin.”
I squeezed her again. “I’m really sorry you had to pick sides.”
“You said that earlier, and that’s not the case.”
“I’m sorry?”
“I didn’t pick anything. I didn’t choose sides. If Russ or Koren or Peter want to see me, they need only pop over. Logan would allow it, so would you, and I would love it.”
I was starting to understand. “But they won’t.”
“No, they won’t. And that’s their fault, not mine. Our door is open, they closed theirs. That’s their choice.”
She was right, of course, but—
“What?”
Her chuckle was funny, and I realized she could tell I was distracted.
“Is this table from the house?”
“You mean, is this my table that I brought with me when I was mated? Is this the table my father carved from one giant piece of redwood?”
“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”
“The answer is yes,” she said with a giggle. “It most certainly is.”
She left then to go into the kitchen, and I followed her and realized that while the layout and tile and wood were different, everything in the room was the same as the one we’d left up at the main house.
I wagged a finger around. “How did you do this?”
“Do what?”
“This is all your stuff.”
“And why wouldn’t it be?”
I studied her.
“I moved out, didn’t I?” Eva asked.
“I guess so.”
“You guess?”
“No, I—yes. You moved out.”
She nodded like I’d given a correct answer. “So therefore I had to bring my things with me.”
“Holy crap.”
“It’s not crap,” she scolded, trying not to laugh.
“No, that’s not—” I growled at her. “I just meant that, that’s a whole lotta crap.”
“Yes.” She beamed at me.
“You brought all your things.”
“Every pot and pan, every plaque from the wall, the table—as you saw—my silverware, barware, china, utensils, the good silver, my everyday plates, all my dish towels, pot holders—even the freakishly scary one Ilia made me for Mother’s Day last year—all of it came with me and will go wherever I do.”
I was stunned.
“After almost sixty years of marriage, I have quite a collection of both useable and decorative things. Not any of it was allowed to remain,” she announced. “Nothing.”
Sixty years.
It was sad, and I had to turn away from her quickly because it was getting ridiculous how often I was crying.
“Jin,” she soothed, walking around to face me. “This was not your choice. If it was up to you, we’d all be in the main house as one big, happy family.”
It was true. That was all I wanted.
“But you have to realize that’s not what the others will allow.”
I knew that too.
“Peter really did try to understand your and Logan’s relationship, but in the end, it was just not in him to make peace with two men loving each other.”
I nodded.
“He never saw you as true-mates, and he never will,” she said as she took hold of my hands. “I, on the other hand, saw the love from the start. I never doubted your bond, how could I?”
I squinted hard as she smiled up at me with tears shining in her eyes.
“But now, sadly, I am being asked to say that a semel can only be mated with a female and that is the only choice for a tribe. And if I choose that stance, if I publicly support that position, I get to remain in my home on the land I’ve lived on for sixty years. I get to be a mother to Russ and a grandmother to his son and the rest of the children that he and his wife will have as well. I will still be Koren’s mother, will be there when he takes a female mate—as he has vowed to do—and most of all, I will remain at the side of my mate,” she said, taking a breath.
“That’s a lot,” I concluded.
“It is,” she agreed. “But to do that means that I have to say to everyone that I don’t think you and Logan are true-mates, and as such, Ilia is illegitimate.”
“Yes.”
“And my girl is pregnant, did you know that?”
I did. Now that my memory had returned, Delphine had confided in me as soon as we got into the guesthouse, first after Markel.
“But even if she were not, even if I would not lose her and Markel… Jin… Ilia is my first grandchild,” she cried, her voice wobbling. “I fed him and rocked him, and I’m his babushka and I remember mine and how much I loved her and what she meant in my life. Do you understand? I could no more turn my back on him than I could on Logan or Delphine or you.”
I stood there staring at her as she cupped my face in her hands.
“The choice was forced on us, and I, for one, resent that, but I cannot, will not, rip apart my family because Russ or Peter say I must.”
I could only stand there, overwhelmed at the depth of her heart.
“If they don’t love me anymore, if who is semel is more important than family, I can’t fight that. I can only hope that someday, they’ll return to the fold.”
I sighed deeply. “I don’t know that they will.”
“Maybe not in my lifetime, but perhaps someday,” she sighed, giving me a smile. “In the meantime, wherever you and Logan go, all the rest of us will follow.”
She was purposely ignoring the fact that we all still had to get through Sunday, and with no miracle in sight, that she was going to lose Russ. There was no doubt in my mind that Logan could take Vincent—he’d done it once before in Mongolia—and while it would be hard with Russ and Sasha on him at the same time, none of them were semels. As much as Russ wanted to be one, he wasn’t born one, and that counted for quite a bit. Logan would tear through them all; it would just be what kind of injuries he’d sustain in the process. It was still dangerous, there was the loss of blood to consider, and I was still debating on whether I would simply shift and annihilate them all.
“Thank you,” I said sincerely, giving her a final hug before I went to search for my mate.
Walking back out into the dining room, I saw Logan sitting at one end of the table with Ilia to his left and a spot for me on the right. Eva moved up behind me and told me to take a seat.
She had made all her Russian delicacies, from pelmeni, the dumplings Ilia loved filled with minced meat, to shashlik, basically meat on skewers, to the rabbit stew she’d made the first time I ever met her. There was also lasagna, ham, a rice dish, au gratin potatoes, mashed potatoes, and the buttery monkey bread she made from scratch.
I could see Yusuke’s influence in the huge tossed salad
she insisted on; Crane’s world-famous coleslaw was there, as well as green beans, a broccoli and cheese dish, and creamed corn. It all smelled amazing, but more than that, smelled like home.
Logan took my hand and kissed it when I sat down beside him, and once Eva said grace, all the food got passed around the table.
I watched Logan make Ilia’s plate for him, Yusuke and Crane do the same for their girls, and Delphine fuss over Markel. I tipped my head at him, and Markel leaned forward so I could hear him.
“I better suck the attention up now, right? Three more months and it’ll be all about the baby. She’s going to forget all about me.”
I nodded my agreement.
Once the food was all served, with water for the kids and wine for the adults, everyone was interested in hearing about Logan’s plan.
He hadn’t been listening, instead talking to Ilia, so when he realized we were all focused on him, he smiled sheepishly.
“Hi,” he teased.
Yusuke’s glower was terrifying.
Logan’s eyebrows lifted, and he grinned again as he glanced around the table. “My plan is to win on Saturday.”
“Sunday,” I snarled.
“Sunday,” he corrected, leaning sideways to kiss my jaw.
“It’s not funny, and I am not amused,” I said icily.
He cleared his throat before standing. “Listen, before the night we lost Jin, I had been contemplating a move for some time.”
All the adults at the table were riveted.
“For a while now, Domin has been concerned about my and Jin’s progeny.”
If he had said Ilia’s name, used “child,” “son,” “little one,” or even “offspring,” our short person would have known that his father was talking about him. But “progeny” Ilia had never heard, because who talked like that in day-to-day conversation? The only reason he knew the word “offspring” was because he’d heard it when we watched those Planet Earth specials on the Discovery Channel. He was smart enough at five to know that offspring of Jin and Logan would have meant him. As it was, he ignored his father and ate, just like Yusuke and Crane’s daughters did.
“Domin believes that the best place for us—for all of us—is Sobek. As I’m already one of the seven laws—one of the members of his council—he thinks the transition for me to become semel of his tribe, the tribe of Rahotep, would be seamless. He firmly believes that his tribe would prefer to have a semel devoted only to them, who is accessible and not traveling the world as Domin now finds it necessary to do.”
