She looked at the clock; it read a quarter past six. Ember rolled out of bed and attempted to stand up. Her legs were not ready to work yet this morning. It was Saturday and she did not typically rise until at least nine on the weekend, but once she was awake there was no getting back to sleep for her. That was the curse that had plagued her since childhood.
Finally forcing the aching bones that she called her body out of bed she went down the hall and took a shower. The hot water was soothing on her skin, slowly warming her up and getting ready for the day ahead. Not that she had any plans that she could recall right then, but there was always the possibility of one of her friends coming up with some crazy idea to get into. Or at least she could count on Liza. That girl was born to find fun.
Or maybe she would hear from Zander.
This was the first time his name had popped into her head since she opened her eyes but the moment it did she realized she’d really thought of nothing else since she became conscious a few minutes ago. Last night was one of the most amazing and overall special nights she’d ever had. Every single part of it was perfect. Zander was perfect and it felt like they were perfect together. The conversation, the fun, the jokes over food, and then the beautiful lovemaking—it was all beyond her wildest dreams and expectations. She’d never thought she would actually meet someone like that and there he was.
But afterwards he acted almost as if nothing had happened. Zander had basically told her to leave, although he did it politely. He used the ruse of having to get up early, which was the oldest line in the book as far as she was concerned. But then again, he was a money obsessed billionaire who probably worked eighteen hours a day every single day so that was not out of the question. But after what they had shared to just kick her out that was almost cruel.
She felt the sickening feeling of regret in her stomach, but at the same time she did not really regret a thing. She loved everything that happened last night right up until then and if she had it to over again she would not have changed a thing.
Except she might have kept her heart closer to her chest and not shared it with him. Right now, it felt as if her heart was… not broken, but bruised—that was the right word for it. She wasn’t sure how to even feel about it. Should she be angry? Should she be sad? Did she feel used? How could she really feel that way when she knew that this was essentially a business relationship going in, right? But it was just Zander… he was the epitome of the man she had dreamt all her life that she would meet. And it turned out to be a business transaction after all. Somewhere along the way she’d let her heart get in the way of business and read more into this than there really was.
She finished her shower, dried off, brushed her teeth, and changed into some of the only clean sweats she had. It was quite possible she would park herself on the couch and not move all day. Those days were becoming more and more frequent and she had no problem with that. But then again, she was far too young to sink into that level of despair.
As she made her way to breakfast she found a fresh pot of coffee and Liza sitting at the table eating her usual breakfast of yogurt and granola with fruit while reading some book on her Kindle. Ember ignored everything and poured herself a big cup of coffee. She figured three cups of caffeine and she would be ready to go as per her usual morning routine.
“Good morning,” Liza said. Her voice was always so gratingly chipper in the morning. Of course, she’d probably been up for two hours, gotten a workout and shower in, and was thinking about what she wanted to do with the rest of her day off. Morning people made Ember sick.
“Hey,” Ember replied. She sipped her coffee ignoring how hot it was and slightly burning her tongue. That was a small price to pay for getting large quantities of caffeine into her system as soon as possible.
“How did it go last night?” Liza said putting her phone down.
“Oh, I’m not sure I want to talk about it,” Ember replied. Her voice sounded too groggy to be used right then. Or it might have been from all of the oral service she’d given to Zander. She wanted to regret it but the mere thought of it got her a bit excited. Oh, the man was a sexual athlete in every way.
“Ooh, that bad? I figure since you came home late that things were going well.”
Liza was one of those people who could not take the hint when someone did not want to talk about something. It was like she could not grasp the concept of why someone would not want to talk about something that might have been a bad experience for them.
But then again Ember had not actually made up her mind about how she really felt about everything. How did such a beautiful evening turn out so confusing? She just didn’t know, but she was starting to get a headache.
“You got a bid, right? I mean you were looking far too good to not get a bid,” Liza said.
Ember knew it was pointless to try to resist and that Liza was really just trying to help. She wasn’t just being nosey.
She told Liza everything from meeting Zander at the bar to his outrageous bid and then the evening in his penthouse until he sent her home.
“What? He sent you home? That’s… weird…” Liza said.
“Yeah, I don’t get it. I mean as far as I know I didn’t do anything to annoy him or upset him. The sex was way intense, for both of us I think. I don’t think I was imagining it.”
“Wow, I wonder if he has a brother…” Liza said.
Ember slapped her playfully on the arm. “Would you be serious?”
“What? If the guy has moves like that in the bed then I definitely want to find some man to do that with me. I have never been rocked that way.”
“Yeah, neither have I. Oh, it is the kind of sex you hear about that is totally addictive. I mean even after he threw me out and I feel embarrassed, and maybe even a little ashamed but I don’t know why—I still want to hop into bed with him again. It’s like some crazy drug that you try once and then you can never stop.”
“That is pretty sweet,” Liza said. “That is not the sort of thing that comes along very often.”
“But I’m not going to call him. Would you?” Ember asked.
“What? No way! If he wants to get in touch with you then he can.”
“That’s the problem. I’m afraid this was nothing but a business thing for him. You know he bought me and then he enjoyed me. I feel like a joke.”
“Hey, you should never feel that way about yourself. Maybe he got scared,” Liza said.
“Scared of what?”
“Of you. I mean, you said what you were feeling was pretty intense. Maybe he was feeling the same way and he is worried about giving up his bachelor playboy lifestyle because he fell in love with this awesome girl.”
“But we only had one night together. Love can’t happen that fast, can it?” Ember asked.
“Well, I’m no Dr. Laura, but by the way you described things I would say you were really starting to feel something too. Crazier things have happened. It isn’t just cheesy soap opera stuff. When you meet someone really special I think you know it. I doubt it will ever happen to me, but one can hope,” Liza said.
“I don’t know. I hear what you are saying, and it scares me how much sense you are actually making, but I think right now I just want to wait and give him space. If he wants to find me he will.”
“Ok, and I resent that remark; I always make perfect sense,” Liza said before sticking her tongue out at Ember. “Are you going back to the auction? I mean you are going to make so much bank there!”
“Yeah, I know. The money would be great, but I’m almost afraid this will happen again.”
“You think you are going to meet the man of your dreams every single night?”
Ember laughed. “I guess that is unlikely. But I might see Zander again.”
“Well, then if he wants more he will have to cough up more dough,” Liza replied.
Ember looked at her shocked. “Now that really does make me sound like a prostitute!” She laughed.
Liza thought a moment. “We
ll, you are one of the highest paid ones.”
Ember hit her playfully on the arm again. “You are so bad!”
“I know this,” Liza replied. “And how soon before you help me get a job there? I would like to make twenty grand in one night.”
“Well, I will do my best. It is a travesty they did not put you in the auction. But it might take me some time to grease the wheels. Besides the woman who runs it, Vienna, she is a bit of a jerk. I can’t stand her.”
“Ok, well I know you will do your best. That’s all I ask.”
Ember smiled and poured another cup of coffee.
The buzzer rang right then and Liza answered it.
“Yeah, I have a delivery for Ember Rogerson?”
“Ok, come on up,” Liza said.
“Delivery?” Ember asked her while they waited. “Who would send me something?”
“Oh, I can think of someone…”
“Really? You think so?”
They got their answer a few minutes later when the knock at the door came. Standing in the doorway were two guys from a flower shop. Behind them were six dozen roses.
After they left Liza broke into a hysterical laugh.
“Wow, these are awesome. Did you tell him that Roses were your favorites?” Liza asked.
“No. The topic of flowers never really came up. I don’t even know it’s from him,” Ember said.
Liza rolled her eyes. “Oh, wake up! Who else would it be?”
Ember locked eyes with her a second and then they both burst out laughing.
“What does it say on the card?” Liza asked.
It was then that Ember noticed each bouquet of roses had a small card attached to them, each card was numbered on the back as well and folded over neatly so it had to be opened to be read.
Ember read the cards one at a time making her way through each dozen.
Do You Want To Cum ?
Ember held the cards up to Liza so she could read the same message. Both girls were now laughing hysterically.
“Wow I think you have answered your questions,” Liza said.
“Not really. I mean this is kind of neat and clever, but I don’t know what I want to do.”
“Well, that is something you just have to decide for yourself. I mean, if you want my advice I would say to give this guy another shot. He obviously likes you.”
“Yeah, but for what?” Ember said. “Is he just wanting to ride the train for free now, or does he actually think we could have something real going on?”
“I don’t know, sweetie. That is something you will have to ask him.”
“Ugh. Why is this so hard? I don’t know what to do here.”
“I think you need to just call him and see if this is what you both want. It can’t hurt to talk to him, can it?”
“No, but if I call him after that message he is going to think that I only want to do that one thing. And this is not through the auction, so it’s no longer a business relationship. Does he want a friend with benefits kind of thing? I’m just very confused about all of this right now and it’s starting to make my head hurt.
“You should just go for it,” Liza said. “You won’t know until you call him and see what he wants. Instead of trying to figure it all out on your own, why don’t you just talk to him?”
“I think I’m afraid,” Ember said.
“Afraid of what?”
“I am afraid that I will surrender to whatever he wants because I want him so badly I can’t say no to it. If he just wants sex then I will agree to it because every single cell in my body is aching to be touched by him again. I can’t get the way we are together out of my mind. But I don’t want to start out like this hoping he will eventually decide he wants more later.”
“Ok, that’s understandable. But you have to think about what is best for you and not be afraid to stick to your guns. You have more control over yourself than that.”
“I’ve always thought so, but after last night I’m not sure what kind of control I really have over myself. Not when I’m with him. I meant what I said about becoming addicted to someone. The more time I spend with him the more addictive it’s going to be. But addiction is not love; it’s dependence. I can’t allow myself to be that way with someone who doesn’t feel the same way back.”
“Just call him. You have to trust yourself enough to not get involved in something that is not going to be right for you. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
“It’s funny, but that is what Zander said.”
“He sounds like a smart guy,” Liza joked. “With sending these roses and reaching out to you it seems to me that he really cares. I mean it took a bit of thought to put this together. I imagine if he was really just looking for a booty call or something he would have just texted you or called you. Maybe he just thought it was too clever of an idea to not use.”
Ember smiled. “You know you are really pulling for this to happen, aren’t you?”
“Well, yeah. I want to see you happy again. It’s been a while since you have been really happy.”
Ember thought a moment as she sipped her coffee. “Yeah, it has been a while.”
CHAPTER 13
Zander
Zander sipped the bourbon and looked down at his phone sitting on the coffee table. He was in his penthouse apartment enjoying the quiet solitude that he thrived on. It had been a very busy, chaotic week with work and he’d fallen far behind on his sleep. He did this routinely for weeks upon weeks, but eventually it did catch up with him and he needed a day off to just relax and be with himself. These days usually consisted of his morning workouts, a healthy breakfast, and some meal prepping for the weak which he enjoyed doing himself. He could have hired someone, but cooking often relaxed him and calmed him down. He loved seeing all of his meals for the weak filling up the fridge ready for his routine feedings. He found that by doing this it left a decent amount of room in his diet for the occasional consumption of junk food and the excessive use of alcohol. But he never really told anyone about that.
He had been thinking about Ember ever since she left last night. He hated the way he’d left things and he knew that she had to be very confused about what his intentions were. Hell, he was confused about what his intentions were. The time with her had been wonderful and he could not have imagined in his wildest dreams that the evening would have gone that well, but after it was over he found himself doing what he did with every woman and kicking her out of his life as fast as possible.
But this time it was different. He really cared about Ember. The more he thought about it the more he confirmed that truth to himself and the more frightened he became about everything. He had a very smooth life that he enjoyed and asking someone to really come and be a part of it threatened this existence he’d carved out for himself somehow. He had no idea how exactly or why he so adamantly felt that way, but it was shaking him to his very core and he did not know how to get rid of it.
And he knew that he could not get rid of the way he really felt. Ember was the embodiment of everything he’d ever thought about what love was and could be, what the type of woman who could love him would be. And he saw inside of her heart when they were together. He saw the connection in her eyes.
Now he had to hope to salvage it. That was why he sent her the flowers and gave her the message. He hoped she would think the message was cute and a bit endearing, but the more he thought about it the message itself was confusing and it might make her think he just wanted sex.
Of course, he’d been thinking about sex with her again nonstop. He’d even had to take care of himself in the shower earlier as he thought of her. The woman was an incredible lover, by far the best he’d ever had and he’d been with countless. To think of all the nameless, faceless women in his past would boggle the mind. What had he been thinking just running through night after night of indiscriminate sex with any attractive woman who would have him?
Now that he had a woman he really cared about in his life he
did not know how to treat her. He’d proven that last night. Now he had to find a way to redeem himself, but he had to make sure that he was not wimpy and apologetic about it. That wasn’t his style. He’d made a mistake, he was willing to own up to it and he wanted another chance. But he was not about to beg for anyone about anything. That trick was not in his repertoire.
He had sent the flowers that morning and had received confirmation that they were delivered about an hour before. He figured that Ember might not call him back right away. After the stunt, he pulled she was probably feeling a bit hurt and maybe feeling that her heart had been betrayed. He understood that, but he knew that eventually she would come around and call him.
Zander had been with a lot of women and in that time, he had learned a few things about them. He wasn’t always proud of the way he treated women and there had been times he’d apologized for some of his oafish behavior, but he did it in the right way. He sure as hell didn’t beg or plead, he didn’t grovel; no, he basically expressed interest and if she wanted to express interest back it was up to her.
They always came around. He knew that women responded to strength and not weakness. He did not really know how to be weak, but due to this he often lacked compassion. That was something he had sworn to himself to work on, but so far had been unable to fit into his schedule. Somehow, he thought his lack of compassion actually somehow created a deeper attraction with women. He didn’t fully understand this, but it was his experience anyway.
He finished the whiskey and was pouring another glass when the phone rang. It was Ember. He smiled and finished pouring the drink then reached out and answered the phone just before it went to voicemail.
Ember was excited to hear from him as he answered the phone. The sound of her sweet, jovial voice was enough to put him in a good mood for the rest of the day. It had only been a matter of hours, but he missed her terribly and the second he heard her speak he realized just how much. But he tried to hold it back and keep her from finding out.
“So, how about I come over and we go do something fun?” Zander asked.
Hunter (The Bad Disciples MC Book 2) Page 45
