Twisted Lies 4 (Dirty Secrets)

by Sedona Venez

  “Quiet, McKay. Don’t be a cocky asshole.” I smacked his shoulder. “Besides, I’m no quiet lady when it comes to sex.”

  “I can attest to that shit.” He swooped down and nipped my neck. “Jesus. The filthy, naughty words and sounds that came out of that pretty mouth of yours would even make a porn star blush.” He laughed huskily. “And I loved it.”

  “Ooh!” I dug my fingers into his hair, yanking him away. “It’s not polite to fuck and tell, McKay.”

  “Who gives a shit about being polite?” He winked. “What happens in the bed… bathroom… and anywhere else that I decide to fuck your luscious, beautiful body is all up for discussion between us, darling.”

  We looked at each other and then burst out laughing.

  Damn, the vibe we had was so fucking easy and natural. I hadn’t realized until now that I actually liked Core—as a person.

  “You know this thing between us is crazy, right?” I asked. “I don’t know anything about you, except for the shit I’ve read about you in the gossip section of the newspaper.” I gave him a quizzical glance.

  Core didn’t respond right away.

  “Believe me,” he replied. “What they write about me is bullshit. All speculation and made-up garbage just to sell more newspapers.”

  Before I’d met him, I’d heard all the rumors—none of them good—circulating about the ruthless but utterly handsome Core McKay, the wealthy New York City recluse, business mogul, and eccentric owner of McKay Corporation and the McKay Club—his invite-only playground for the elite, rich, and kinky, a place to indulge in discreet liaisons, allowing all your freaky fantasies to come true.

  I quirked a brow. “So you’re telling me the Manhattan gossip hags have it all wrong?”

  “Wrong about what?” he asked in a low tone.

  “That you built your billion-dollar empire using money from drug trafficking, money laundering, and prostitution.”

  “Prostitution?” The look on his face was something close to disgust. “I’ve never messed with that shit. It’s not my thing. I don’t believe in sexually exploiting women.”

  His nostrils flared. “Hard damn work. That’s how I built my empire. Nothing was handed to Ram and me. We had to fight for everything we’ve got, and that shit wasn’t easy. But I’m not going to lie. Some of the shit we did… Well, it wasn’t pretty.” He scoffed. “The world of organized crime is a dog-eat-dog world. We made a fucking lot of money, and life was good… for a while.” He flexed his arm muscles. “Until everyone around us got nabbed by the police, ending up serving hard time in jail, or got killed by business rivals over territory, money, or just for the fuck of it. So Ram and I decided to get the fuck out while the getting was good. We had to look out for own interests, and we went legit.”

  “Okay… so that would be a big check in the criminal activities box.”

  “Does that change how you feel about me?” He compressed his mouth into a thin line.

  Mystified, I stared at him. “What? Hell no. At least, not now.” I shrugged.

  Before I had gotten to know him, the rumors about Core had definitely affected how I felt about him. But now? I didn’t care what the tabloids proclaimed.

  “I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect. Shit. Perfection just doesn’t exist. Besides, everyone’s journey in life is different. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the destination that matters.”

  He nodded in agreement.

  “Okay, so… how did you get these?” I leaned in, tracing a finger along the light scar on his cheek and then farther up onto the jagged scar running across his eyebrow. “A gang fight over territory in Brooklyn?” I finished saucily.

  He frowned while a long, uncomfortable silence dragged on. I fidgeted awkwardly when I realized Core was still on the fence about just how honest he wanted to be with me. It was as if he still didn’t trust me. I pushed down the emotional hurt and replaced it with my old standby… anger.

  “Okay. I’m done.” I threw my arms up in the air. “This is definitely not going to work between us if you refuse to open up even a little bit.”

  With jerky, furious movements, I attempted to hop off the counter, but he quickly stopped me.

  With an aggrieved sigh, he responded, “Sin, calm the fuck down.”

  “Oh, fuck off, McKay! I’ve shared stuff with you that I haven’t said aloud in years, and the minute I ask you a question, you either deflect or I get nothing but crickets. You’re the most infuriating man I know.”

  The tension between us was almost unbearable.

  His mouth flattened. “I’m an open book, Sin.” He folded his arms over his chest. “It’s just that you might not like the answers you get.” He bit out the words. “My past is very dark and sordid. I’m just not sure you’re ready to hear about that part of me… yet.”

  I refused to let him intimidate me. With my chin tilted at a stubborn angle, I held my ground. “I’m not afraid of knowing the truth, Core. I’m more terrified of the unknown shit.”

  Running his hands through his hair, he grunted, “Fuck it.” He scowled. “I got the scar on my cheek from a car bomb.”

  My breath caught in my throat as I blinked.

  He carried on, eyebrows squeezing together. “It happened years ago.” His voice went flat. “One minute, I was walking away from my girlfriend, Maya, who was pregnant with my child and sitting in my parked SUV, waiting for me to get something she’d left inside our apartment. The next instant, I heard an explosion.” His hands almost curled into fists, and then he straightened them. “The force of the blast threw me back, slamming me into the sidewalk.” He pointed to the scar on his cheek. “That’s how I got this.” There was tightness in his expression. “It’s a reminder of what I lost in that burning SUV—Maya and my baby.” He finished with a grave expression, the loss and pain evident in his eyes.

  I felt like shit for making him relive something so fucking painful. I thought the story about the scar was going to be some epic tale about how totally badass he was. But this? My mind was still reeling from his story. Core would have been a father if Maya and his baby had survived.

  Core, a father?

  I blinked rapidly. That was a side of him I hadn’t even known existed.

  Abruptly, he turned on his heel, storming over to the refrigerator and pulling out a beer. He eyed me. “You want one?”

  It took several moments before I could compose myself enough to reply. Even though it was early, I nodded. “Yes.”

  He twisted off the caps on both bottles before walking back and handing me an icy-cold one and taking a long swig from his.

  “I’m sorry for your loss, Core.”

  He drained his bottle before saying, “It’s been fucking years, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that thinking about Maya still hurt like a motherfucker.” He spoke with quiet menace, “The irony of all this shit is that the major reason I’d decided to turn my back on my criminal empire was for fear of losing her and my unborn child. But I lost her anyway, and my world shattered. Just one tragic moment, and she was taken away, leaving me empty. When she died, I lashed out at everyone around me, including my friends.” He shrugged one massive shoulder. “Without her, my life was cold, and I wasn’t alive.”

  “And now?” I asked tentatively.

  “No woman could replace Maya. That’s what I believed… until now…” His voice trailed off as he brushed my cheek.

  His touch and words sent a shiver through me.

  Oh. My. Fucking. God.

  He continued. “But I’m at a crossroad. There’s so much that you still don’t know about me—and me about you.”

  I nodded. “You’re right. There is still a lot we don’t really know about each other. But I’d be lying if I said that what I know about you so far doesn’t make me want to run the other way.” Especially not since he’d just laid his heart bare by spilling his past and about the loss of his girlfriend and unborn child.

  Maybe Jade’s advice was right; I needed to heal an
d let go of the hurt from what Grace and Kyle had done to me.

  Now it was my turn to reveal a piece of me. “I’ve had a pretty fucked-up past with relationships. So getting close to someone again? Trusting someone? Not gonna happen overnight.” I sighed heavily. “The problem got worse when my dad died.”

  He kissed my forehead and whispered, “I’m sorry for your loss, Sin.”

  I nodded in acknowledgment. “It was such a shock. A reckless driver slammed into him, sending him off a bridge.” How abruptly I had lost him hurt. It had changed me, leaving me vulnerable and scared to let any new people into my life for fear of losing them.

  “Shit. That must have devastated you and your mother,” he said.

  “I was devastated. My mother… Grace, well…” I snorted. “She didn’t even shed a tear. But she did happily burn through the money from my dad’s insurance settlement on a massive shopping spree.”

  Just thinking about how Grace had spent the settlement on extravagant purchases, including a new condo with a homeowner’s association fee that was more than what most people paid for their monthly mortgage alone, my lips pursed.

  Core lifted an eyebrow. “Damn. She sounds like some piece of work.”

  I snorted. “Yes… she’s fucking special, but not in a good damn way. That’s one of the many reasons I cut the heartless hag out of my life when I was eighteen.”

  “Doesn’t sound like a great mother-daughter relationship.”

  I drew my lower lip between my teeth while staring at him, hesitant to unearth the bones of my past that I had buried deep. “No, it wasn’t, and it’s not a subject I enjoy talking about.”

  Core glared at me with an intensity that made me uncomfortable. “Sin, we’re talking, so let’s be open.”

  I let out a calming breath. “Grace was never… well, a mother. As long as I can remember, there was always this wall between us. Do you know I can’t recall a time when she actually hugged me?”

  Painful feelings—of being unworthy and unlovable—and memories I’d repressed came rushing back at the remembrance of how Grace didn’t love me. For years, I’d felt defective because she never taught me the things most mothers taught their daughters—allowing them to express their emotions, their pain, and their vulnerability without repercussions.

  I continued. “I remember one day I came home from school and hugged her. You know, just to see what would happen. She shook me off like I was some pervert molesting her. I knew then that there was nothing in the world I could do to make her love me.” But like an abused puppy, I still tried for way too long.

  I cringed inside, thinking about back then, how fucking hard I’d worked to be everything she expected me to be—flawless. I’d even dyed my long naturally auburn hair blond like hers, which looked utterly ridiculous with my olive-colored skin and exotic, dark features. What was worse had been the sheer disdain in her eyes when she saw my failed attempts to be perfect. In comparison to her ethereal, porcelain features, I wasn’t pretty enough or thin enough or smart enough. I just wasn’t enough. And frankly, that truth had hurt like a motherfucker.

  Unwanted memories—a bitter past I’d thought I’d buried deep—surfaced, one of the many arguments between Dad and Grace…

  I was happy… for once—at least for now—because I was with Dad, and he was alive. I had just finished watching him slave over Thanksgiving dinner while I served as his little helper by setting the table that we now sat down at, still, tense, watching the clock, and letting the food get cold while we waited for Grace to come home. With every breath I took, my heart sank deeper. She should have been back by now.

  6:34 p.m.

  8:27 p.m.

  10:05 p.m.

  Then around 11:30 p.m., Grace stumbled into the house, laughing to herself as she staggered over to the table.

  Dad snapped, “You’ve been drinking again.”

  “No…” Her breath reeked of alcohol. “I swear.” Then she broke out in a fit of giggles.

  I hated that she laughed when she lied.

  Dad looked at Grace with disappointment. “Grace, it’s Thanksgiving. I promised Sin we’d spend the day together for once and have a nice family dinner.”

  I held my breath, waiting for Grace to say something, and she did.

  “You promised her? Well, you didn’t ask me shit. You always do this,” she slurred. “I can never have a good time. Now you’ve ruined my night.” By now she was screaming. “You and that little brat of yours always do!” She leveled me with a disdainful glare. I squirmed under its intensity. “Besides, look at her. She could stand to miss a couple meals.” She cackled.

  Tears rushed to my eyes.

  “Grace! Enough!” Dad shouted.

  Grace wobbled. “You’re always taking up for her. Well, I don’t need this crap,” she yelled before she opened the door to leave again.

  “Grace.” Dad jumped up from the table, and I followed him as he went outside where Grace stood, trying to get into her car.

  “Grace, get inside,” Dad demanded. “I’m not letting you drive drunk.” He tried to stop her from getting into the vehicle.

  She kept pushing him away like he was some sort of pest she wanted to get rid of. “Don’t try to act like you give a shit if I live or die. All you care about is Sin. What about me? Don’t you love me? Or am I just here to pretend that we have a happy family life?”

  “Grace, how many times do I have to tell you that I love you?” He sighed. “Now get inside. You’re making a scene.”

  The neighbors were peeking out of their windows, watching the spectacle.

  “No,” she hissed. “Ian, come with me. Remember how we were before her?” She pointed at me. “It was about us… about me. Now my life is a living hell with us moving around because of her.”

  “Shut up, Grace,” Dad hissed. “She can hear you.”

  “I don’t care because I’ve never wanted her. She’s not mine. She’s Aub—”

  “Don’t,” Dad yelled.

  I sobbed because it hurt that she’d rejected me and thought I was a burden to her. But it had always been that way, my entire life. Dad would get into trouble for being nice to me.

  “Go or stay. I don’t care anymore,” Dad replied.

  “You’re such an idiot,” she chided before jumping into her car and driving away.

  Dad brought me back inside the house, closing the door.

  “Dad, what’s Aub?”

  He touched my hair. “Nothing. You know how she gets when she drinks.”

  “But why does she hate me so much?” I asked.

  “It’s not about you, Sin. She’s hurting inside.” He sighed heavily. “Her dad was awful to her throughout her childhood. She had no attention whatsoever. And I think every time she sees what a good relationship we have, she relives her childhood all over again.”

  Core’s voice drew me back to the present. “Shit. That’s rough, but that’s her fucking loss.”

  “Loss?”

  “Missing out on the experience of loving and caring for a beautiful, smart woman like you.”

  My mouth parted and then closed at such an unexpected but touching compliment. Damn… he was redefining my initial perception of him in every way. He had a fucking heart under his ice-cold demeanor.

  Emotions welled up within me, and I cleared my throat, deciding to change the topic before I said or did something I’d regret like throwing caution to the wind and lowering my emotional barriers, letting him in. “What about your mother? How was your relationship with her?” Last night, he had briefly mentioned his mother had died, but he had seemed hesitant to talk about the topic any further.

  “The exact opposite of your mother.” He paused. “And if she were alive today, the moment she met you, she would have welcomed you into her home with no reservations because that was the kind of nurturing woman she was.”

  Wait… met me? Core McKay would have brought me to meet his mother?

  I swallowed hard. He couldn’t have meant th
at. I was reading way too much into his words.

  Get a grip, girl!

  Without missing a beat, he carried on. “To the world, she was a hard, street smart, take-no-shit kind of woman. But with me, she was so much different.” He smiled wryly. “She couldn’t stop hugging me, even at the most inappropriate times, like when I was trying to look cool and tough in front of my friends. And even when I was being a badass, stubborn prick, she loved me unconditionally, so I felt safe enough to be myself. Most significantly, I learned the importance of honoring my word and commitments from her. Her word was her bond. And so is mine.”

  “Sounds like a good woman, Core.” I loved seeing that happy glint in his eyes. “It must have been nice to have that kind of foundation in your life.” I envied him at that moment because it reminded me of my nonexistent relationship with Grace.

  Core let out a harsh breath. “It was.” A brief flash of sadness glinted in his eyes before they hardened. “Before she was murdered by a cold-blooded killer.”

  Oh shit. I wasn’t expecting this response at all.

  “Murdered?” My eyes widened.

  “Yes. She was killed right in front of me.”

  “I’m so sorry, Core.” I touched his arm. “I hope the animal is in jail at least?”

  “He’s not. He got away with fucking murder, and my world changed forever the day she died. I’ve spent my entire life waiting for the day I’ll finally find him and avenge my mother’s death.”

  I heard the agony in his voice when he mentioned his mother. The rare display of his emotion made me want to know more about the man, to dig deeper under his hard facade. My wanting such intimate emotional access surprised the hell out of me, given the fact that I stubbornly refused to give Core the same access to what lay beneath my emotional mask.

  “I don’t blame you for feeling that way.” I swallowed hard. “If you don’t mind me asking… what happened?”

  I grabbed his hand, weaving my fingers through his. His fingers stiffened before they relaxed.

  His eyes glazed over like he was reliving the bitter memories. “I was doing my homework when I heard my mother’s bloodcurdling scream. I’d never heard something like that before. The shit was terrifying. I ran into the kitchen, and this man had her pinned against the wall.”