I paused in the doorway, my hand on the smooth wood of the frame. “You came back.”
Valance turned slowly to face me, moonlight highlighting his aquiline features. His hair was raked back, as if he’d run his hand repeatedly through the chestnut locks, his jeans rode low on his hips, and his shirt had an extra button undone, exposing the V of his collarbone and the flat planes at the tops of his pectorals. It was almost as if clothes had been an afterthought.
He’d tried to feed off my soul. I should feel fear, anxiety, something negative, but there was nothing but relief that he was back.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly.
I stepped into the room and the air beside me shifted, signaling Gilbert’s presence.
Valance must have felt it too, because his mouth tightened. “I’m not here to hurt her. I wouldn’t do that. Not intentionally.”
His words were saturated with sincerity. “I know. I know you didn’t mean it. Gilbert’s just concerned.” I turned my head to the side where Gilbert was standing. “I’ll be okay, Gil.”
His disapproval was a vibration in the air, but I needed Valance to know we were okay, that he hadn’t irreparably damaged our relationship.
“I won’t be getting close enough for any lip-locking action.” The words were directed at Gilbert, but I fixed my eyes on Valance when I said them. The air rifled through my hair, followed by a pressure on my shoulder as Gilbert passed by, and then he was gone—although, knowing him, he wouldn’t go far.
Valance’s brow cleared, and his shoulders dropped slightly.
“You missed all the fun while you were away.” I kept my tone light, taking a few more steps into the room. “We kicked some Lost arse and then we got hauled into The Collective HQ and were forced to sign a non-disclosure agreement. Oh, and we have metal aliens hunting in our city.”
His brows shot up. “It looks like I have some catching up to do, then.”
“Yeah, you do.” I was a couple of feet away from him now, far enough to be clear of his personal space, but close enough to taste him in the air, honey and almonds. A sharp stab of longing speared me, accompanied by the memory of his mouth on mine, of his tongue licking the inside of my mouth, and his lips sucking on my tongue.
Valance swallowed hard. “Miss Bastion, whatever you’re thinking, you need to stop.”
I exhaled through my nose, squeezing my eyes shut to dispel the images, but the darkness of my lids merely served to intensify the sensations my body was recalling.
“Wila, please.”
“Why did you do that? Why did you slip?”
“I didn’t.”
I opened my eyes. “You were feeding off me.”
“I was kissing you. I was kissing you like I’d kiss a Draconi female, but you’re not Draconi. So things got out of control.”
I was so confused. “You feed off your Draconi lovers?”
“No, when Draconi make love they open a circuit where they share their soul, their very essence, with their lover. It’s a most intimate act and ...” He looked away.
“And?”
He blew out a breath. “Reserved for mated Draconi.” His words were clipped, edged with shame.
His words sank in and heat rose up in my throat, stalling my tongue. Yes, he’d mentioned this circuit once before when he’d explained the Draconi females’ polyamorous relationships.
He peered at me cautiously. “I can’t explain why it happened. Believe me, I’ve mulled it over.”
He’d been kissing me. No. Not just kissing me, he’d been kissing me like he’d kiss his Draconi mate. I took another step toward him, and he tensed, his eyes flaring. No, don’t look into them, but like hell was that possible when my body was in control, when all I wanted to do was look inside and see and understand whatever it was that was drawing us together.
He held up a hand as if to ward me off, and yet when he spoke his tone was begging me to come closer. “Wila ...”
I bridged the gap between us, throat tight, heart clawing at my ribcage. Experiment, this was just an experiment to see if ... to see ...
I lifted my chin. “See, we’re good.” My tone was husky, wanton.
His gaze dropped to my mouth. “Yes, we’re good.”
I licked my lips. “No urges.” I was playing with fucking fire, and the thrill was a pulse between my thighs that ached to be stroked.
His chest was rising and falling erratically. “No urges.” His words were more a growl than anything else, and then he stepped away, turning his back on me. “You should fill me in on what I’ve missed.” His voice sounded oddly strained.
The tension dropped a notch, still live, still there, but no longer an irresistible force.
I clasped my hands together to give them something to do aside from reach for him. “I was just about to have some tea.” Which was a lie. “You want to join me?”
He turned back to me and blinked slowly, his dragon eyes catching the moonlight and sending a shiver up my spine, but not fear. There would never be fear again because the kiss had changed the dynamic.
“Why aren’t you afraid?” He reached for me, thought better of it, and dropped his hand to his side, curling it into a fist.
“Honestly, I don’t know.”
“You were about to go to bed.”
“Maybe.” I bit my lower lip.
“But you’ll stay up with me?”
I shrugged, feigning casual, when all the time my pulse was a little too fast. “You’re part of the team, and you need to know what’s been going on.”
“Tea is ready.” Gilbert’s voice was right beside me, loud and clear. Yep, someone had been eavesdropping.
Valance’s expression shuttered and then his lips curved in his familiar cocky smile. In fact, his whole demeanor shifted to loose-limbed and relaxed. He’d donned the persona he presented to the rest of the world—the devil-may-care facade. The lump was back in my throat as realization bloomed. I’d just connected with the real Valance, and damn, I’d liked it.
I climbed down the steps into the basement. “I’m so fucked.”
“Not yet, you’re not,” the voice said in amusement.
“Can you be serious for one goddamn minute?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”
At least he didn’t sound sad today. I preferred the bantering voice to the reflective one—probably because it made me feel less guilty for not letting him out.
“Well?” He sounded like he was reclining, relaxed, and ready to listen to my woes.
I winced. “I think I have a thing for Valance.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And Azren.”
“Riiight.”
“And you already know how I feel about Tay.”
“Yes, we’ve had this conversation, Wila. I told you what you needed to do and you said some pretty hurtful things to me.” There was a definite pout to his tone.
I paced the floor, flashlight in hand, just in case the lights went out. “I’m a hussy. That’s what I am. A goddamn hussy.”
“Is goddamn the new fuck now?”
“I need to sleep on it.”
“Oh, babe. You need to do more than sleep on it,” the voice said snidely.
“You’re sick, you know that?”
“Am I?”
Was he? Oh, man. My head was all fuzzy from lack of sleep, and my skin itched as if it was too tight, but my emotions were out of the box, bouncing around like crazy jumping beans. Valance and Azren and Tay, oh my, Valance and Azren and Tay, oh my. And if that wasn’t enough, I was pretty sure my body was changing, not in the boobs and hair-in-special-places way, but in the hey my hands and feet are getting bigger way. Freak much? It had to be something to do with my parentage; shame there was no way of knowing what that was. Being abandoned outside The Gables as a baby meant there were no clues as to where I’d come from.
I blew out a breath and stared at my new shoes. “I had to buy larger boots.”
“Really?”
“Is it?” He didn’t sound impressed. “Go to bed, Wila.”
And there was that resigned tone again. I blinked at the metal door. This was the first time he’d initiated the end of the conversation.
I crossed my arms. “Hey, wait a second. This isn’t how this works. You’re supposed to try to convince me to let you out and then I take my leave, usually slamming the door on your final words.”
“Are you going to let me out?”
I made for the stairs. “Like hell.”
11
She is softness and comfort, her body a haven I could lose myself in. Just an hour of freedom, and hour to feel. Her hands skim over my skin, her mouth is on mine as I claim her body.
“Azren, yes, just like that.”
My pulse skips and my body tightens as I spill my seed into her.
“You’ll come see me again?”
Why does she ask when she knows it is only in her arms I find comfort?
I leave without giving her an answer.
Time, so little time.
My liege is smiling and yet her eyes are filled with fiery vengeance. “I have a surprise for you, my pet.”
A chill slides up my spine and yet I remain impassive.
Someone screams and then her scent is in my head. She is here. My comfort, my hidden haven. Not a secret any longer. Elora has found her and she is here.
“You’ve been visiting this whore so often I thought I’d do you a favor and bring her to you.” My liege taps her chin with a taloned finger. “But then I thought, Azren is the kind of Shedim who would share his bounty with his brethren, and so I’ve given her to your brothers to play with.”
Another shrill scream, and it is all I can do not to run to her. I lock my knees and remain stoic, for if I move now, if I make a sound, there will be much worse to come.
My liege circles me, slow and deliberate, while screams and grunts echo through the chamber. They have her in the neighboring chamber. They have her, and they are hurting her.
“You don’t mind, do you, Azren?” my liege asks.
A response is required. “No, my liege. I do not mind.”
“You don’t care, do you, Azren?”
“No, my liege. I do not care.”
“Who do you worship?”
“I worship my liege.”
“Who do you desire?”
My throat closes up briefly, but I push out the words. “I desire my liege.”
Her hand is around my throat, her talons sinking into my flesh. “You will go and clean up the mess your brothers have made, and then you will come and show me just how much you desire me.”
I control my heartbeat. I swallow my pain. My liege walks away, but I wait. I wait a long second until I am sure she has gone, and then I run. I run into the neighboring chamber filled with beastly, carnal sounds, saturated with the scent of blood. I tear them off her dazed, abused form.
Her eyes lock on mine, lucidity flaring. She is broken, but there is life in her yet, and they will continue to play, to hurt her.
“Please.” Her plea is a whimper.
“Out of the way, Azren. Ours. Ours to play.” Balen is eager, his sex hard and ready. They reek of carnal hunger. They reek of madness.
I press my talon to her throat and slice it open. Her smile is beatific, and then the others close in, eager to feed.
My liege waits for me, because I belong to no one but her, and no one belongs to me.
“It was awful.” I sipped the hot cocoa Gilbert had made and tucked my feet up onto the leather sofa in the study. The blanket he’d draped over me seemed to adjust itself, but it was Gilbert tucking me in.
“You think it was a memory?” Gilbert asked.
“It has to be. I mean, how would my subconscious even come up with that shit?”
“And you’ve had similar dreams before?”
“Yeah, but this one was too specific. I was in his body, I felt what he was feeling, and it was ... awful.” I suppressed a shudder. “There was so much darkness and desolation, except when he was with the woman, then there was a smidge of hope, even happiness? I don’t know. It’s hard to put into words.”
“And the other dreams?”
“I saw him about to beat Valance with a whip, but that one can’t be a memory ... I probably just picked up on the animosity between them and my subconscious mind ran with it.”
“Or maybe not,” Gilbert said. “Maybe the incident that happened in the memory caused the animosity. You say these dreams started after you saved Azren from the rogue Shedim.”
“Yeah.”
“Is there anything that happened that you might have forgotten to tell me?”
Ooo, he was in analysis mode. “Um, okay. Let me see. I got there and I saw they were whipping Azren, and I lost it. So, I jumped down and started to do my thing, and then the female Shedim hit me with the whip, but I shot her with a bolt.”
“Wait. The whip caught you?”
“Yeah.”
“And did it hurt?”
“Not really, it just felt weird. Like something snapped.”
“That could be the connection. The whip touched both you and Azren. Maybe it was never meant to touch you, and maybe it somehow connected you both?”
“That’s a lot of maybes.”
“I know, but it makes sense. The only way to know for sure is to ask him.”
I snorted into my cocoa. “Yeah, I can see that going down a treat—hey, Azren, did you whip Valance for his mother once? Oh, and did you ever have a whore who you had to kill to save her from your evil Shedim brethren?”
Gilbert sighed. “I see what you mean; however, if there is a connection, it may be a clue as to what the rogue Shedim were doing to Azren.”
He was right, but it was still an awkward thing to bring up. “I’ll see if I can broach it. I just ... It makes me feel creepy. I mean, if it’s real, then I’ve been in his head.”
“He read your mind without your consent. I’d say you were even now, wouldn’t you?”
“Ooo, nice spin. I like it.” I drained my cup and stretched.
This was home, here in the study with Gilbert. The fact that he was always there when I needed counsel, that he never belittled my concerns and fears, reinforced my instincts. But it bugged me that there was nothing I could do to free him from this cage. These walls from which he couldn’t fly. It bugged me that I couldn’t find his memories and give him a past, but at the same time, the thought of him being free scared me, because what would I do without him? He was my matron, the father figure I’d never had, and if he found himself then maybe he’d no longer want to be that person for me. The selfish thoughts were a bitter taste on my tongue, prompting the question—had I tried hard enough to find him a past?
“Hey, Gil?”
“Yes, Wila?”
“Do you still wonder about before?”
“No ... not really.”
“If you could find out who you were, would you still want to know?”
He sighed wearily. “I don’t know. Some days, it’s all I can think about, but more often than not I’m content just being here with you and Trevor. You woke me from a deep sleep, you gave me purpose, and if I am destined to remain on this earth as an incorporeal being, then I’m glad it’s as your companion.”
Darn him and his pretty words. “You’re more than that, Gil. You’re my family.” A lump formed in my throat. “I couldn’t do this without you, and just in case you were wondering, this is the bit where we hug.”
He chuckled and then his presence wrapped around me and squeezed.
“I love you, Gil.” There were only a handful of people I’d ever said that to. Gil was one of the select.
“I love you too, Wila.”
The midday sun streamed in through my bedroom window, lighting up my pink haven. I’d slept in. No point getting up early if I was housebound for the day, but contracts still needed to be signed for
Loraine Vincent. I’d dropped Tay and Mack a text late last night to let them know I was okay and had gotten a thumbs up in reply from Mack but nothing from Tay. I dialed Tay now and got his voice mail. Strange, he always had his phone charged and switched on, unless he was in Slumber. Mack was next, and he picked up on the third ring.
“Wila Bomb, good to hear your voice. We were worried about you,” Mack said down the phone.
“Did you get my text?”
“Yeah, bit thin on the info, though.”
I filled him in on the interrogation. “And so, I need you guys to sign these contracts. Can you come over and do it today? I can’t leave the house till this evening when the sting operation is going down.”
He chuckled, but it sounded strained. “Sure, yeah. No problem. I’m holding down the fort here at the moment, but as soon as Tay gets back I’ll pop over and grab the contracts.”
Unease tickled the back of my neck. “Tay’s out? Warehouse run?”
Mack cleared his throat. “Not exactly.”
“Um, okay. Where is he?” It was none of my business, but for some reason my gut urged me to push for the information.
Mack was silent for a long beat; the sounds of the bar, the clink of glasses, soft laughter, and music drifted down the line.
“Mack?”
“He’s out with Tonya, Wila. On a date.”
It was as if someone had grabbed my insides and twisted them into an intricate knot. My breath rushed out in a gasp.
“Wila? You okay?”
“Fine. I’m fine.” Damn the squeaky voice. “Yeah. Just come over and pick them up whenever. Just ... it has to be today, ‘kay?”
“Sure ... Wila, you know this is for the best, right?”
“’Course I do. He deserves to be happy.” A fissure was opening in my black heart. “I’ll see you later.” My treacherous voice cracked, and I ended the call and stared at the ceiling.
A weight settled on my chest, crushing and forcing hot tears up my throat and into the back of my nose. They pressed at the back of my closed eyelids.
No. No, no, no. This was good. Tay was moving on. He was doing exactly what I’d asked of him. This was how it should be, and then we could go back to being friends. Then why did I feel like hunting Tonya down and tearing out her hair? Urgh.
City of the Lost (Chronicles of Arcana Book 2) Page 11
