by Daisy Allen
My wrists burn from his restraining me. And I stop struggling. I want to hurt him so much, my mouth waters. How can he do this to me, stop me from looking for my own flesh and blood? All I can think of is how to make him pay.
“Let go of my hands, Kaine,” I say, my voice coming out in a hiss.
“Are you going to run?”
“No,” I lie.
“I don’t believe you, you think I don’t know you by now?”
“You won’t know until you let me go, will you?”
“Fine. But let me remind you, there’s not a chance in hell you’re leaving this apartment tonight,” he threatens me. And in my right mind, I might believe him; as it is, all I hear is a challenge.
“Then let me go and prove it.”
He drops his hands away from my wrists, and steps away from me.
The bile rises in my throat, and I pull my hand away from the wall and slash my nails down the side of his face in one blinding arc.
“You fucking bastard!” I scream and run to the elevator door.
Without a word, a sound, he grabs me by the hand and throws me like a ragdoll over his shoulder, carrying me back into the main part of his apartment. I thump my hands on his back, kicking my legs as hard as I can, but it doesn’t stop him. I feel completely overpowered.
“Put me down!” I scream.
“No.”
“Please... I won’t do it again, I promise!” I beg.
“Oh, I know you won’t””
He takes me into his bedroom and throws me down on the mattress, I scramble to get to my feet, but he’s holding me down, my legs trapped under his and his hands holding my wrists down again over my head.
“Jade,” he says. Calm. Quiet. Strong.
I just hiss in response.
“Listen to me, Jade.”
I shake my head. Refusing to let his words enter my head. It doesn’t stop him.
“We will find your brother, hopefully soon. But you can NOT go out there tonight. It’s too unsafe, and you know that. I told you once and I’m telling you again, I will never let anything happen to you ever again.”
And then his mouth is on mine.
I scream but the sound is muffled in our kiss. Heat rises through my chest, and I try to stop the feeling of need rising through my core.
“So, we’re going to stay here,” he pants as he moves his mouth off mine for second. “And I’m going to do what I’ve wanted to do since the moment I saw you.”
And even in this moment, I can’t deny my need to know. “What’s that?”
“I’m going to fuck you.”
The words flash like a meteor shower in my head, and I can’t help but give in to the sentiment. I want to hate him, and in some way, I do. But just as he said, I’ve wanted this since I first knew who he was. And knowing he wants the same has me instantly wet.
I want him inside me.
We stare at each other for a moment; there’s a drop of blood where I slashed his face, but he ignores it.
And then it starts.
His hands all over my body, his mouth, his lips, his tongue. He’s everywhere at once. His groans fill my brain and all I know is that I want to feel his skin on mine.
I tear at his shirt again, this time trying to peel it off his body. He sits up for a minute and pulls it over his head. His chest is bare and sculpted, just like I remember from the shower, from the roof. I pull myself up and trace the line of his abdomen with my fingers and it ripples under my touch. He pulls my finger off his body and to his mouth, wrapping the entire length with his lips.
The throbbing between my legs is becoming almost painful, my hip lifts without my doing and he knows, he knows I need him to touch me there.
Scooting down the length of my body, he hefts my skirt up around my waist, kissing the top of my inner thigh.
He stops moving for a moment, looking at me from between my legs. “You’re so beautiful, Jade. Like a fucking angel,” he growls, before he pushes aside my damp panties, spreading me apart and plunging his tongue inside me.
“Oh my God!” I hear myself scream, and a wave of tremors travel along every nerve of my entire body. His hot breath washes over my wetness, and I feel his tongue retreat and then circle over my aching bud.
My hands find his head somehow, and tangle in his hair.
Then I lay back, just letting the pleasure wash over me as he alternates between gyrating a finger deep inside me and sucking on my clit.
My hips grind against him, and I feel like I’m nothing but pure sex, demanding more.
“Kaine, God, Kaine, I’m so close.”
My words make him pull away and I regret it.
I whimper and he shushes me with a kiss, his body easing on top of me, as I feel his hands fumble with his pants.
“Easy, girl. You have nothing to worry about, nothing to fear. I’m going to give you everything you want.” He gently eases my legs apart, bending them at the knees.
I don’t know what to do, I just lie there watching him, wanting him. My hand comes up to push the hair from my eyes, and he grabs it and holds it tight in his hands.
“I don’t have... I don’t have protection. I can only promise you that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, and I know you have nothing to worry about.”
“I can promise you the same” is all I can say. He knows, he knows from the look in my eyes, that I’ve never trusted anyone more.
“I’ve wanted this so much, fantasized about it, dreamed of it... stroked my cock over it, so many times.”
“You have?” I ask, a sudden shyness overcoming me at the thought of him fantasizing about me, as if I won’t be able to live up to it.
“God, yes. I want you so much, I’d give up everything in my life to be inside you.”
“Then hurry up and do it. Fuck me, Kaine. Please, I want you to fuck me.”
And as if it is those exact words he’s been waiting for, he lets go of my hand, pressing down hard on my legs to spread my knees wide, before slamming his hips against mine, plunging his cock deep inside of me.
“Ugh!” He grunts. And his cock burns as it pulls out of me before plunging in again. “God, Jade, you oh, fuck!”
“Kaine. Yes. Don’t stop. I want you. Fuck me.”
“I couldn’t stop, baby, I couldn’t if I wanted to.”
He takes my legs, pulling them up into the air as he pistons in and out of me. I grit my teeth from the force, gripping the side of the bed. The bed sheets are so smooth; with each thrust, my body slides up the bed and he pulls me back, impaling me on his hardness.
Everything becomes a blur, his thrusts, his groans, the way my sex clings and cleaves to him. The pleasure building and building... until...
“I’m coming, Kaine.” I strain to whisper, and it takes everything I have.
“Yes, baby, come. God, please come for me. I want to hear it, feel it,” he growls.
He reaches between us and pinches my clitoris between his fingers and every muscle in my body explodes as if it’s been holding back for years. I feel my legs thrash in his hands and my back arcs as I completely let go, letting the vibrations of my orgasms crash over me.
He lets go of my legs and I feel myself melt into the bed.
Somehow while I’m starting to regain consciousness, I realize he’s on top of me, still inside me, but his body is trembling, as he stares at me.
“Are you okay?” I breathe out, hoping to form words.
“Yes, I had to stop, or else I’d miss it,” he tells me, his voice catching on very second syllable, like he’s flexing every muscle.
“Miss what, honey?”
“Watching you come for me.”
I smile and stroke his sweat glistened temple.
“Now it’s your turn. Come for me. Fuck me and come for me,” I urge him.
His eyes fall shut and there’s a muscle twitching in his jaw. He pulls himself up onto his hands, as his hips start to move again, and I can feel him enter me deeper. His chest heaves as
he starts to move faster, faster and faster, his forehead crinkling as he tilts his head back.
As he fucks me.
I wrap my legs around him and squeeze and he throws his head back and roars, his whole body tensing, and I know. I know he’s emptying himself. Giving me everything. His hips jerk; short jerking thrusts into me as he forces his eyes open, locking them with mine. I caress his cheek, smiling at him.
And then he collapses.
His whole body dropping on top of mine, crushing the air momentarily from my lungs.
“Ugh,” I exhale.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he says, moving off me,
“No,” I wrap my legs around him tighter. “Don’t go. Stay. Stay inside me.”
He doesn’t move, his head collapsed on my shoulder, our breaths synching, fast and shallow at first, then slowing, deep and steady.
It’s ten, fifteen minutes before either of us move or speak.
And it’s not me who moves.
And it’s not me who speaks.
And it’s not me who says, “I love you.”
Chapter Thirty
HIM
She doesn’t say anything after I made my declaration and I wonder if I’m lucky enough that she’s actually fallen asleep.
I hadn’t meant to say it. Didn’t even know I felt it. Not until I heard my own voice did I realize I was actually moving my mouth, and the thought that I’d been repressing for days now had travelled from my brain to my lips.
But. There is no denying it.
For the first time, in a very long time, I love someone.
Anyone.
One person.
In the whole world.
It’s been ten years since I’ve said it. And ten years since I’ve felt it.
But I do now.
And there’s no hiding it from myself.
But, I had hoped to hide it from everyone else, for some time, if not, forever.
Especially the person I feel it for.
But she hasn’t said anything, so I may have actually lucked out.
“What did you say?” she whispers, after some time.
Of course, no such luck.
I move, sliding off her and onto the bed. The sheets are cool compared to the searing heat of our bodies glued together. Moving to the top of the bed, I prop myself up against the headboard, and pull her over to me. She complies, and lays her head on my chest.
“You heard me,” is all I say.
“You said...”
“Yes.”
“Do you really?”
“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”
“But.”
“No, buts. It just is what it is. You don’t have to respond.” Especially if it’s to tell me you don’t feel the same way.
“I... you told me to hate you,” she refers to our pre-sex fight.
“You remember that, do you? I was hoping that my searing hot sex would make you forget.
“Well, no. I heard you loud and clear. And I do... or I did...”
“You do hate me?”
“No, of course not. I mean, I don’t know. I did in that moment.”
“And now?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I don’t hate you. Just... just the part of you that didn’t let me leave.”
“That’s all of me, Jade. That part that didn’t want you to go running out into the middle of an unsafe area? That wanted you to just stay here with me? That’s all of me. It’s been me from the very first moment I saw you. And every moment since.”
“I... I don’t know what to say.”
“That’s a first,” I joke, to lighten the mood. “So, let’s take advantage of it and go to sleep. You must be exhausted.”
“What about you?”
“I’m used to being exhausted. I’ve actually... huh. I’ve actually slept more in those stolen moments with you, than I have since you came barrelling into my life.”
“Hey! I didn’t barrel, you barrelled into mine! I’m sorry I’ve stopped you sleeping. Why do you think that is?”
“I don’t know. I guess that’s just what you do to me... when you’re not around. But when you are, I’m at peace.”
“And if I left now, would you sleep?”
“Probably never again.”
“Then you’d die.”
But not from lack of sleep, I think to myself.
“Yeah, so, maybe take that into consideration,” I suggest to her.
“I-I’m going to stay.”
“Okay.”
“Just until the morning.”
“Okay.”
“Then, I guess we’ll take it from there.”
“Okay.”
“Kaine?”
“Yes?”
“Did you really mean it?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
***
“How long have you known that you feel this way?” she asks half an hour later, when it’s clear neither of us are able to fall asleep.
“I don’t know, I just... did, one day.” The first day, comes the traitorous thought.
“What day?”
“You ask a lot of questions, Miss Sinclair and as I recall, you’ve used up your allotted three.”
“Kaine,” she says, not taking any of my shit.
“I really don’t know, Jade. Maybe it was at first sight, maybe it was when I saw you jump up onto the couch and scold a blanket.” The words come out of my mouth before I can stop them.
“What are you talking about?”
“Um, that first night you squatted here, the next morning? You woke up, and jumped onto the couch and threw the blanket on the floor.”
There’s a pause as she rifles through her memory. “How could you have possibly known that?”
“Um.” Shit.
“Kaine, how? Have you been... watching me?”
There’s really no way of denying it at this point. “I have. I have security cameras all over my office and apartment. So yes.”
“Oh my God!” she exclaims and pulls out of my arm and sits up staring at me. “What else did you see?”
I cringe. It’s not that I’m hiding it from her, I had just hoped to break it to her at another time. “I also saw you dancing in an apron, making pork chops.
“Ugh,” she covers her face as a blush rises up her cheeks. “And?”
“And... I saw you... not being repulsed when you saw my scar.”
She drops her hands from her face and looks at me. “I wasn’t.”
“I know,” I reach out for her, and she hesitates for a moment before falling back against me. “I also notice you were too busy looking at something else.”
“Shush. We’re not done talking about this yet.”
“Fine.”
“And I did like what I saw.”
“Perv,” I tease her, nuzzling her neck.
“That’s not what I meant, creep!” she giggles.
“I know. Go to sleep.”
And we do.
Chapter Thirty-One
HER
I feel like giggling.
Not laughing, not chuckling, not outright belly guffawing.
Just... giggling.
Like, when you’re drunk and something slightly silly happens and you think it’s the funniest thing in the world.
Like when you’re staring into someone’s eyes and the nervousness tickles in the back of your throat and there’s nothing you can do to hold it in.
Like when you’re sitting on your own and think of someone or something that makes you smile, but more, so much more.
Like, when you’re just living, going about your day, and you realize, you’re happy. Just honestly and truly happy.
I feel like giggling. And never stopping.
“What are you giggling about?” a sleepy, muffled voice with a mouthful of my hair wonders from behind me.
“I wasn’t,” I lie.
“The shaking of the bed begs to differ.”
“I was... scratching.”
“Well, then what was making your funny bone itch, lady?”
“It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.”
“Okay.”
And something about that exchange, makes me giggle.
***
“Ahem,” a male voice wakes me.
“What?” I growl, not ready to get out of bed yet.
“What, what?” Kaine counters.
“You just said ‘ahem.’” I say grumpily. It’s too early to have to explain myself.
“No, I didn’t,” he argues back. “Maybe you dreamt it.”
“It was me, bloody lovebirds,” a third voice, the original voice, cuts in.
We both jump up and stare at the intruder.
“Xavier! What the fuck, man?” Kaine yells. “Why are you here?”
I slide down into my pillows and pull the sheet over my bed and curl into a red-faced ball, willing him to go away.
“I’m working. What are you doing here?” he asks his boss.
“Why do people keep asking me that? I live here, asshole.”
“Can we help you?” I yell from under my linen cocoon.
“No, but I think I might’ve helped you. There’s someone out in the living who wants to see you,” Xavier says and I freeze, not sure I heard him right.
Kaine pulls the sheet down so my head is poking out, and he’s smiling at me.
“No.” I look up at him.
“Why don’t you go out and see?”
“Gabe?” I scramble out of bed, pulling the sheet around me like a toga. Once satisfied with the coverage, I run out into the living room, bracing myself for what I may or may not see.
“Gabriel!” I scream when I see him standing in the middle of the room and run up to him.
He catches me in his arms and I sob, the relief washing over me. “Gabriel! Where have you been? Are you okay?” I pull away and trace my eyes over his body, checking, checking his weight, checking for injuries, like I’ve been doing for the last six years.
I look up into his eyes, and they’re wet and red, and my heart breaks for the little boy who wanted his cute little head on a coin. I pull him back into my arms, sobbing his name.
“Hey, hey,” he whispers after a while, his head cradling the back of my head. “It’s fine, everything’s fine. In fact, it’s good. And it’s only going to get better.”
“Why, what do you mean? Where did you go? Why did you leave without telling me?” The questions come hard and fast, and I have so many more.
