His bedroom was basically empty, besides the very large and very comfortable bed that sat in the room with dark wooden night stands flanking it and one leather arm chair that sat near the windows. There was a balcony outside of the windows. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that two of the frames of glass were actually doors that opened up onto the balcony.
I stumbled through the dark into the en-suite. Flipping the light switch, my vision was momentarily flooded with blindness. Rubbing my eyes open, I was graced with the sight of a modern, masculine restroom retreat of large gray tiles, white fixtures and dark brown woodwork. It was all man. All Rhett. A white porcelain free-standing tub was framed by a large picturesque window that boasted another view of the magical city of New York.
There was a massive walk-in closet off the bathroom that was the size of my apartment bedroom in L.A. Only half of it was filled with Rhett’s clothes and shoes. The other half of rods, built-in shelves and drawers sat empty. I maneuvered my way back out of the closet, bathroom and bedroom, stepping into the hallway that led to the rest of the penthouse. I turned away from where I knew we entered, finding two more bedrooms and bathrooms, both basically empty other than beds.
I started to wonder how long Rhett had lived here. It lacked the hominess that I was used to in his previous Boston home. In fact, as I moved back down the hallway into the large, open, floor plan of the main living areas, it was blaringly obvious that this whole penthouse was an extreme contrast to his home I fell in love with in Boston.
It still had the air of wealth, but it was modern, minimalist and cold versus historic, warm and inviting. Where his old residence had touches of comfort, the penthouse looked like it had been barely touched at all. Looking at the bare, expansive walls that extruded to the high ceilings above it made me feel sorrowful. It was as if the space reflected the state of mind Rhett had been living in for the last three years. Empty. Hollow.
I quickly shook the thought out of my head, hoping that wasn’t the case. Surely, he just moved in and hadn’t had the time to make it home.
I stepped down into the living room, where a couple of chairs, a couch and coffee table faced a fireplace that had more floor to ceiling windows on each side of it. I moved to the mantle of the fireplace where a few framed photos caught my eye. The only personal touch to be found in the massive floor plan.
There was a photo of Rhett with his family, huddled in front of their lake house. It was an older photo. One I recognized from his childhood bedroom. I picked up the other photo, studying it closely. The photo was of me and Rhett at my sister’s wedding. It was a candid shot. I was sitting in his lap, laughing at something as he stared up at me with the biggest smile and adoration in his eyes. A sharp pain ripped through my chest, knowing this photo was one of the few personal items he had chosen to display.
I hadn’t seen the photo before. I assumed he got it from Emily and Jackson. They had purposefully hidden any photos of Rhett from me at my request. My selfish, stubborn request. I placed the photo back down on the mantle, looking at it one more time, before turning around to look at the rest of the space.
Behind the living room area was the industrial style kitchen with a long island of white and gray granite. To the left of the living area, across from the entrance of the penthouse, was a dining area. The whole open floor plan had a view of the city and tall ceilings with exception of the dining area. There was a metal spiral staircase that led up to a loft area above the dining area. I placed my bare foot on the cold metal steps as I slowly walked up the stairs.
At the top, I found a home office. The office loft area was edged with a simple, clean, metal railing, looking down into the rest of the penthouse. It was the only area of the whole home that seemed touched and lived in.
I made my way around the desk that faced out towards the penthouse. I found another framed photo placed off to the side. It was of the two of us dancing at his parent’s New Year’s party. We held each other close, my head lying on his chest with my eyes closed. I could see the contentment and happiness on my face. I remembered that moment and the way I felt during it.
Before I could be overrun by guilt again, I rushed back down the stairs into the kitchen in search of a glass. I shut the cabinet doors a little harder than necessary. Frustration building inside me. I told myself it was from the lack of glassware, but it was harder to lie to myself.
I swear I went through twenty cabinets before I gave up, sinking to the floor with my back against the lower cabinets, wanting to cry. I heard the front door open and footsteps coming towards me. I rushed swiping the tears away that had unwillingly formed in my eyes.
Rhett’s tall figure loomed over my tiny frame on the floor. His face dropped with concern, finding me on the floor with my knees pulled into my chest.
“Ava? Are you okay?” I could hear the dread in his voice.
Not wanting him to worry, I nodded and gave him a semblance of a smile. “I couldn’t find the glasses in your oversized kitchen.”
He studied me for a moment, trying to read more into my response. He set down a brown paper bag that he had been holding onto the kitchen counter before offering his hands out to help me up.
I took them, letting him pull me to my feet. He kissed my forehead and then guided me to the upper cabinet beside the fridge. Seriously? I’m pretty sure I looked there. He opened it, pulling out a glass for me and then moved to the fridge, grabbing a large bottle of water.
He poured me a glass and handed it to me. He watched me as I took a much needed drink, wishing it was something stronger than water.
“What’s in the bag?” I nodded towards the paper bag giving off a delicious aroma, attempting to distract him from probing me for what was really going on.
“Dinner. I picked up some Chinese. Figured you might be hungry.”
“Starved,” I said seductively, smiling up at him. I wasn’t referring to food. He laughed shaking his head at me.
“Food first. Then dessert,” he ordered.
He moved, opening more cabinets, pulling out plates and silverware and another glass for himself. He set up two place settings at the island before pulling the Chinese take-out from the bag.
We ate, while stupidly grinning at each other like two inexperienced teenagers. Finding ways to flirtatiously touch each other. As if we really needed to find ways. He could brazenly take me now on his counter, and I wouldn’t refuse him.
I looked around the nearly empty space, needing answers for my own piece of mind. “How long have you lived here?”
He took a bite, not responding to my question immediately. He finished chewing, considering me carefully. “A little less than three years.”
My hand stopped its movement to my mouth, lowering the fork back to my plate. That was not what I wanted to hear. My face and eyes instinctively dropped, not wanting him to see the shame and sorrow on my face.
He moved his hands under my chin, lifting it. “Ava, look at me.” I shook my head no, closing my eyes as he held my head up with his fingers. “Let me see those eyes. Don’t deny me of them.”
I exhaled, not wanting to ever deny him again and opened them. “Why does it look like you barely live here?”
“Because I do barely live here. I spend most of my time at the office.” Another answer I didn’t want to hear.
“Okay…,” I let out a sigh, “Still it seems unlikely your mother wouldn’t try to help decorate and make this a home for you.”
“She did try. I told her no.”
“Why?”
“Because there’s only one woman I want to turn this into a home for me. I want her stamp on it. Not my mother’s. And until she came back to do that, I didn’t need this to be a home.”
His words overwhelmed me. He had left it a blank slate for me. He wanted this to be our home. Our home. Us. The thought had me filled with determination. His unwavering confidence in us, even when we weren’t an “us,” had me feeling I didn’t deserve him but selfishly refusing to let him go.
“There’s my beautiful girl,” he returned a grin in response to a smile that had unknowingly crept across my face. “Come on. I need you in our bed.” He pulled me from my barstool, wrapping his arms around me to lift and carry me to the bedroom. We spent the rest of the night wrapped up in each other. In our own little world.
I met Lizzie for brunch, before we headed to a little hole in the wall nail salon where we got mani’s and pedi’s. We had barely hugged our greeting before she demanded I “spill it” and fill her in on all the details.
“I’m so happy for you, Ava,” she looked over at me a tear in her eye as the little Asian man filed away at her toes. She really was super emotional these days. “Are you happy?”
“More than ever.” My face displayed the happiness I was feeling, but my tone revealed the worry that was clouding my heart and mind.
“Why did that sound like you aren’t?”
“I am…..I just…”
“You just what?”
“I can’t help feeling like this is too good. It’s great. And I am happy. And I want to be with Rhett. But we live across the country from each other. His life is here. Mine is in L.A. I’m not sure how all this is going to work.”
“Have you talked to Rhett about it?”
“No. I’m not ready to deal with reality. I just want to enjoy our time together the next week. Live in our little bubble before the world comes along to burst it.”
She smiled at me reassuringly as she reached over to squeeze my forearm with her one free hand. “Something tells me Rhett won’t let anyone burst your little bubble ever again.” I forced a small smile at her, not convinced that Rhett could control it from happening.
I changed the subject to her baby shower, wanting a lighter topic and not to think any more about what may or may not happen with me and Rhett.
After my reluctant goodbye with Lizzie, I grabbed a cab headed to Rhett’s parent’s home. We were meeting there to have dinner with his family before we left the following day for Litchfield to see mine.
I was anxious and nervous to see his family. Mostly his parents. I knew Valerie would be more than stoked about Rhett and I being back together, but I had no idea how his parents felt. Do they hate me for pushing Rhett away? Did they think I broke his heart?
“Miss, we’re here. Should I keep the meter running?” I heard the gruff annoyed voice of the cabbie.
“Right. Sorry,” I said distracted from my fearful thoughts. I handed him his money and stepped onto the curb as the building doorman held the cab door open for me.
I stared up at the building. It still made me feel inferior. I started to walk towards the door when it flew open right in front of me. I stopped startled by the woman exiting before me. I had hoped that I would never see her stupid button nose and beautiful blonde hair ever again. She strolled up to me confidently, not as startled by my presence, smirking at my discomfort.
“I didn’t expect to see you here.” The snarky tone in her voice told me otherwise. “I thought the two of you were finished.”
“What are you doing here, Serena?” The edge in my voice being spurred by both fear and rage. I thought Rhett had said she was cut out of his life. My clammy, cold fists clenched at my side. My heart rate picked up. It was taking everything in me not to attack her in the middle of the sidewalk in front of this swanky building. In front of Rhett’s parent’s building. Did they still have a relationship with her? Did they forgive her for all her manipulations?
“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”
“You do to me,” Rhett’s authoritative voice interrupted us. I looked behind me. He had just arrived to his parent’s. He stepped between us, protectively pushing me behind him. I wasn’t the one that needed protecting. Had he shown up two seconds later he would have found me pounding my fists into her pretty face. Okay, maybe not. But I was at least visualizing it.
“Rhett,” the desperation in Serena’s voice had the hair on my body standing like the hackle of a protective, growling dog, “I didn’t know you would be here. I swear it.”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Serena. Leave.”
“I’m sorry, Rhett. For everything. I came to apologize to your parents.” Her voice was pleading and became more desperate with every word she spoke.
“Leave!” His harshness and dismissive tone had her startled with tears swelling in her eyes. His coldness towards her almost had me feeling sorry for her. Almost. His body was rigid, showing no emotion or sympathy towards her nearly sobbing state.
She took one step towards him, reaching out for him. He shifted us both back, avoiding her touch. He glared at her warningly. She dropped her hand before reluctantly stepping past us. I didn’t look at her as she passed me, but I could feel her angry glare on me.
Rhett turned to me, pulling me into his chest in a strong embrace. He held me for a second before pulling back to look at me. “Are you okay?” he asked the concern and fear written all over his face. Why was he so worried? He asked as if I just suffered the most traumatizing event ever. I mean, it did catch me off guard, but I was fine. Was he scared I was going to run from him, finding her here?
“I’m fine, Rhett,” I assured him, bringing my palm to his cheek. He took a deep breath and exhaled, letting whatever crazy thoughts were running through his head out.
“Stay away from Serena. Don’t talk to her. Don’t engage in her games.”
“It’s not as if I sought her out!” I yelled defensively, pushing off his chest, trying to break his hold on me.
“Ava. Stop.” He held me tighter, thwarting my struggle from his arms. I relented. “I don’t want her near you.”
“What was she doing here? She’s had three years to apologize to your parents. Why now?”
“I don’t know. But I have my suspicions. She has been living overseas the last three years. Rumors spread among her social circle of why I shut her out of my life. I never told anyone or confirmed them. I have too much respect for her parents. But it’s not like our small circle didn’t know. I don’t see Riley ever saying anything, but I can’t say the others wouldn’t. She ran to Europe to escape the gossip. I’d heard she was back, but didn’t expect to find her here….just promise me you’ll keep your distance. If she approaches you again, tell me.”
“What do you think she’s going to do, Rhett? Why are you so worried?”
“I don’t know what she would do. I’m not saying she would harm you physically, but I’m not putting anything past her, anymore. She has done enough things that I would have never expected.” He lowered his forehead to mine. Our lips inches apart. “Promise me.”
“I promise.” I stood on my toes, closing the few inches between our lips and kissed him, sealing my promise.
When we finally made it inside his parent’s home, I was smothered in hugs and kisses from his family. It seemed my fear of his parents not being thrilled to see me were unwarranted. They kept gushing how happy they were to see me and wanted to know everything about my time in L.A. and my new job.
By the end of dinner, I was exhausted from all the conversation and laughter. We said our goodbyes and I promised to visit them again soon. They mentioned visiting me in L.A., once Valerie moved out there. I could sense the subject of Valerie in L.A. was a touchy one for Charles, but he agreed with Vivian that they would be visiting often. Which earned an eye roll from Valerie behind his back.
I curled up in Rhett’s lap in the back of the limo as Jim drove us back to Rhett’s home. He rubbed my back, occasionally dropping kisses on my head. I listened to the steady rhythm of his heart as I pressed the side of my face to his chest. “I love you, beautiful.” His voice broke our comfortable silence. I rotated my head looking up at his strong, stubbled jawline. I would never get tired of hearing those words from his lips. I kissed his jaw, not bothering to say the words back. He has always known I love him.
CHAPTER 10
The remainder of the week in Litchfield was more than I could ask
for. It wasn’t London or Italy or even New York, but it was home. I was surrounded by my family, and Rhett was with me. Nothing could compare to that. We spent a lot of nights with my extended family drinking, playing games and laughing into the late morning hours at Nana’s house.
By the end of the week, the reprieve from the chaos was welcomed. Our last couple of days was spent with only my Mom, Nana, Emily and Jackson. It was already Thursday, and we would be headed back to L.A. in the morning. We debated on staying until Sunday, but I needed to take care of some things over the weekend to prepare for work on Monday. I had a lot of emails to sort through. I also knew Rhett and I needed some alone time to discuss how things were going to work between us.
Rhett and Jackson were in the living room talking, while Mom, Emily and I were in the kitchen going over a grocery list for tonight’s dinner. Mom had planned to make my favorite, her homemade lasagna, for our last dinner at home. Nana would be joining us for the evening.
“I think that should do it,” Mom said, skimming the list one last time to make sure she didn’t forget anything. “Would you mind swinging by the bakery, also, to pick up some French bread? I’m not sure I’ll have time to make homemade bread.”
“Of course, Mom. Anything else?”
“Nope, I think that’s it,” she handed me the list. “Let me get you some money for the food.”
“No, Mom. I have it covered.”
“Ava, you don’t need to pay for all that food. Besides I added extra items for the house,” she jabbed her debit card at me.
“Put it away. I’m not taking it.” I swatted her hand away from me, smiling at her. “Just lend me your car keys.”
She let out a heavy sigh and rolled her eyes to demonstrate her over exaggerated frustration. Walking back to her purse, she put her card away and pulled out her keys.
“Do you want me to go with you?” Emily offered.
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