A Thousand Water Bombs

by T. M. Alexander

  ‘OK. We’ve got a plan. You ask them to come, Jonno,’ said Bee. ‘Marco likes you.’

  Jonno strolled off, hands in his pockets, hair bobbing up and down.

  welcoming Marco and Ed

  Doodle was waiting at the school gates. He’s not getting any better behaved, even though he’s been puppy trained. He jumps up at everyone. We all avoid him. Jonno is Doodle’s only real friend.

  ‘Hello, you lovely dog.’ Jonno ruffled Doodle’s fur and Doodle snapped at his fingers. Jonno did the whole turning away thing again. It’s meant to teach the dog what’s good and what isn’t. Jonno’s been trying to help Bee, but Bee’s mum keeps ruining everything.

  ‘Mum, I don’t need an escort home from school every day,’ said Bee.

  ‘Don’t you want to see Doodle? He misses you.’

  Bee rolled her eyes. ‘Mum, he’s a dog. He doesn’t miss me. He only misses food.’

  Bee’s mum looked shocked, so Bee quickly gave Doodle a couple of pats. ‘Come on, then. See you later, Tribers.’

  BEE’S PUPPY TRAINING TIPS

  Start as soon as you get the dog. Don’t be all soft and let it jump up at you, snap, and sleep in your bed, because when the puppy gets bigger, jumping up means knocking over, snapping means you lose some fingers and your bed becomes the dog’s.

  Dogs are pack animals. You are part of the pack. Make sure you’re the leader and be fair and consistent. (This also works with children.) Dogs and kids don’t understand what they’re meant to do if one day you’re nice, and the next day you’re not.

  The best way to have a nice dog that people like is to reward it when it does something good. This works better than punishing it when it’s bad. (This is also true of children.)

  If your puppy chews your mum’s party shoe, don’t let it see you laugh. Dogs understand more than you think.

  ‘I’ll come with you,’ said Jonno. ‘Bye.’

  Me, Fifty and Copper Pie went down the alley on our own. Fifty said we could all pretend to be so boring we sent ourselves to sleep and him and Copper Pie laughed about that nearly all the way home. After they both turned off, I walked really slowly to mine, thinking about Tribe. We were five, like the Famous Five books that my dad’s always going on about. But I was worried we were going to end up as six.

  I wanted to believe in Jonno’s idea, but it was difficult to think of Tribe as boring when it’s actually the best thing ever. I gave up and decided that if I could kick the same stone all the way home the problem would go away.

  (My stone went under a bus and didn’t come back out.)

  I bolted down tea (gammon and my second jacket potato of the day) because I wanted to be there at the start of the meeting. I don’t know why. Maybe it was because I wanted to get there before Marco and Ed, to show I was a real Triber – a founder.

  ‘Slow down, darling, or you’ll choke,’ said Mum.

  ‘And shut your mouth when you chew,’ said Flo, the world’s most irritating little sister. (And to think I nearly liked her for a while after the Fat Cat business.)

  I opened my mouth wide to show her the contents. Mum slapped me on the back and I nearly did choke. After I’d managed to demolish my dinner I scraped the plate with my knife (‘Keener! Don’t do that,’ shouted Amy) and got up to go.

  ‘I’m off. Meeting at the Tribehouse.’

  ‘I heard Marco tell Ed he was going to the Tribehouse too,’ said Flo. How does a Year 3 know everything that goes on?

  ‘So what?’ I said.

  Flo made a horrible face. ‘Soooo . . . Marco isn’t a Triber.’

  ‘But he’s a friend,’ I said, even though he isn’t really.

  ‘That’s nice. Since when?’ said Mum.

  ‘Since we went surfing on Sunday,’ I said.

  ‘And now it’s Wednesday,’ said Amy. ‘And on Monday you were ill in bed. What’s so great about Marco that he gets to go to the Tribe shack after two days?’

  I left, but Amy’s words swam around in my head, like sharks.

  I scrambled through the cat flap and was first in. I opened the safe and took out the subs to count our money while I was waiting. I fished in the back and pulled out the fact sheets and the scroll. Fifty came in and took his usual seat, on the safe.

  ‘What’s all that for?’ he asked.

  ‘To show Marco what it’s all about. If he thinks it’s like homework that might put him off.’

  We sat and waited for the others.

  There was a noise outside. It was Bee, tying Doodle to the leg of Fifty’s outside table.

  ‘What’s Doodle doing here?’ said Fifty.

  ‘Mum was going out and she didn’t want Doodle to be lonely so I’ve got to look after him.’

  ‘What about your dad?’ said Fifty.

  ‘Well, he was happy for a bit when the boys moved out but now he says that Doodle takes up as much room as the boys did so he refuses to have anything to so with him.’

  ‘He’s not going to move out again, is he?’ said Fifty.

  ‘No. Mum said if he ever did anything like that again she’d change the locks. And she meant it.’

  Bee came inside. Terrible whining started and got louder.

  ‘Maybe your dad will grow to like him?’ I said, although it didn’t seem likely.

  ‘He says he’d rather have the twins back.’

  The whining was unbearable, like a baby being tortured. Bee stayed where she was.

  ‘Aren’t you going to . . . cuddle him?’ said Fifty.

  Copper Pie came in at that moment and snorted. ‘Wuss. It’s a dog. They’re for chasing sticks, not snogging.’

  ‘And what are baby elephants for?’ said Fifty. ‘Are they for snogging?’ And then he whispered, ‘Trumpet. Trumpet.’

  Copper Pie went mad, chasing Fifty round the hut. It’s better not to mention Copper Pie’s cuddly elephant, aka Trumpet.

  ‘At least I didn’t wear my Thomas the Tank ’jamas to school under my clothes,’ said Copper Pie.

  We’ve all got secrets that aren’t secret, if you get what I mean. I looked at my three old friends, Bee, Copper Pie and Fifty and the thoughts, like sharks, that had been swimming around ever since I left home finally took a bite. Amy was so right (I never thought I’d hear myself think that!). Marco was a good, some would say excellent, surfer. He was cool. So what! That didn’t make him a Triber. That didn’t mean he would agree with what we do, believe in what we believe in, be a loyal friend. We were a Tribe of five, not six, and I was about to be so boring, no one would want to be a Triber!

  ‘Hey Doodle.’ Jonno was in the garden. Marco and Ed were bound to be with him. I was ready.

  ‘P904KPG. S5TMA. KY02NVQ. ML57BOY . . .’

  ‘Hello,’ said Jonno.

  ‘Hi,’ said Ed.

  Marco was behind them. He had his board resting on the top of his skate shoe.

  ‘JAY616D. T48AWL.’

  ‘What’s he doing?’ said Ed, meaning me.

  ‘He’s trying to remember every number plate anyone he knows has ever had. He does it every meeting,’ said Fifty.

  It was hard not to smile, but I wasn’t going to crack. There was too much at stake. ‘E649PUG. KY54DTB . . .’

  ‘So, what do we do then?’ said Ed.

  ‘When Keener’s finished we usually let Copper Pie give a match report from his football game on Saturday.’ Fifty’s face was brilliant. Deadly serious.

  ‘OK,’ said Ed. ‘But you go surfing too, don’t you? You don’t just stay in here.’ He looked around.

  ‘That was a good day,’ said Fifty. Marco nodded. ‘We might do it again next summer.’

  ‘Next summer? Don’t you mean next week?’ said Ed. Marco started tapping his board. It was quite annoying but I didn’t falter.

  ‘BR09FGX. Y717GGS . . .’

  ‘We’ve got too much paperwork to do to have another day out.’ Fifty pointed at the fact files I’d got out of the safe.

  No one said anything after that, except me. I carri
ed on with my number plates. ‘CL58HSE . . .’

  ‘Not long now, Ed,’ said Fifty.

  I wasn’t sure how long I could go on. Surely they wouldn’t believe the Tribers did this every Wednesday? Thankfully Jonno spoke up. ‘It’s not usually this boring. Sometimes we play board games. We could play one now if you like?’

  ‘We might go to the park,’ said Ed. ‘What do you think, Marco?’

  Ed was already out of the door. I saw him flick his board up with his toe and catch it. Marco followed him out.

  ‘Have a nice meeting. I go with Ed. Thanks for ask me.’ He waved.

  I checked out my fellow Tribers. Copper Pie made a fist and punched the air. We waited until the voices faded completely.

  ‘Mission accomplished,’ I said.

  ‘You were like a robot,’ said Fifty.

  ‘Well, that’s over,’ said Bee. ‘And I’m so glad. We don’t know anything about Marco. He’ll be happier with Ed.’

  ‘We don’t know if he wears Thomas the Tank ’jamas,’ said Copper Pie.

  ‘We don’t know if he has a favourite cuddly elephant,’ said Fifty.

  I joined in. ‘And we don’t know if he walks in his sleep.’

  Bee gave me her best mean look – we all know she goes walkabout and talkabout in the night – and got me straight back. ‘And we don’t know if he goes strawberry colour every time he’s asked a question in class.’

  Unfair, I thought.

  We all looked pretty pleased. The only one who didn’t was Jonno.

  ‘What’s up, Jonno?’ said Fifty. ‘Did you want to go with them?’

  ‘It’s not that,’ said Jonno.

  ‘What is it then?’ said Bee.

  He sighed. ‘I’m a Triber, but not as much as you lot are. I’m the odd one out. I’m still the stranger.’

  I didn’t know what he was on about – there’s nothing strange about Jonno, except his hair – but Bee did. ‘The fact that we’ve all known each other since Keener was in nappies’ (I was not in nappies at pre-school) ‘doesn’t mean we’re better Tribers.’

  ‘It does.’

  ‘No, it doesn’t. And anyway, we’re waiting to find out your most embarrassing moment and then we’re going to tease you forever, Frizzy.’

  That was the nickname, Sass, the girl in the alley, called Jonno. And it gave me an idea. I reeled off every bit of information I knew about Jonno, from the layout of his room and all the stuff in it, to the things he’d done since he met us, and I threw in the date of his birthday (because I remember numbers) and everything else he’d told us about his life, like the fact that he used to hold the label in his school shorts.

  When I’d finished there were smiles all round. And Jonno’s was the biggest. ‘Put it there,’ I said.

  I slapped down my hand and they all piled theirs on top for the Tribe handshake. ONE, TWO, THREE. They flew in the air.

  Tribe had had a rocky couple of weeks, nearly losing Copper Pie and then nearly gaining Marco. It was like a test, and we’d passed. No one can leave, and no one can join. That’s what we decided at the beginning. We had to stay true to what Tribe was all about. We knew that now. And it felt good. It didn’t mean Ed and Marco couldn’t be our friends – in fact I’d already suggested another surf trip with Marco. But they couldn’t be Tribers.

  The whining started again. We all looked over at Bee.

  ‘Do I have to?’ she asked.

  We nodded. So she got up and we followed.

  ‘Sit,’ she said. And Doodle sat. ‘Good dog.’ She gave him something from a bag strapped to the loop on her jeans. He gobbled it up.

  ‘They’re the treats,’ said Jonno. ‘It’s how you train puppies, by rewarding them when they’re good.’

  Bee stroked Doodle’s back and for once he didn’t snap at her. I think she was surprised. ‘Shall I take you home?’ she asked.

  I know dogs can’t speak English but I think Doodle understood.

  ‘Come on then.’ Bee undid his lead and he stood by her side waiting for her to walk off.

  ‘You’re a natural,’ said Jonno.

  She peeked back at us over her shoulder. ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’

  ‘And you’ve got a big head,’ said Copper Pie.

  Bee left with Doodle. Jonno left with Copper Pie. Fifty went up to the house to read Probably Rose her bedtime story through the bars of her cot. As I walked home from the Tribehouse I wondered whether we would be Tribers forever. That’s what Bee said to Jonno – that we’d tease him forever. I liked that idea. That whatever happened, we’d always be Tribe.

  www.tribers.co.uk

  Find out more about the Tribers online!

  Fifty causes all sorts of mayhem when he accidentally kidnaps his sister. Keener is too busy working out how to mountainboard to remember he’s dog-sitting Bee’s Labradoodle.

  Bee does a good job of forgetting her birthday, then remembering it, and then wishing she hadn’t. And all the Tribers have a difficult dilemma when their arch enemy, Callum, gets falsely accused. Should they help or not?

  It’s non-stop for Tribe.

  Why is Copper Pie bunking off school at lunchtime? When the other Tribers find out, they can’t help getting involved and they’re soon in trouble (again).

  Then it’s the school camping trip, where Team Tribe build rafts, tell jokes, race rubber ducks and finally face the scary assault course. Will Fifty manage to conquer his fear?

  It’s non-stop for Tribe.