The past is nice enough to allow us to reinvent ourselves, it even allows us to start over and—gasp!—move on. It traps us into a false sense of security, letting us believe that it has relinquished control over our lives and that it has put the controls firmly back into our hands.
Unfortunately, no matter how far you run, how long you run, or where you run to, it will always catch up to you. It isn’t going to let you escape its grasp until you face it head on.
It will haunt you until the truth comes out.
No lie, secret, betrayal, or mistake will remain concealed if you have a past.
And since we all have a past—whether we hide it, deny it, or bury it—you have been warned.
~ Shanna ~
CHAPTER 10
June 1999
Akron, OH
D stared at her from across the room, draining the rest of the cheap beer from the red solo cup in his hands. She was sitting on the overstuffed couch, sandwiched between her best friend—who, by the looks of it, was three sheets to the wind—and one of her never ending army of brothers.
He swore under his breath when he realized the brother guarding her side, while managing to piss off the girl beside him, was his best friend, Danick Corelsand.
Yeah, staring at Shanna while she sat next to her older brother wasn’t awkward at all. His best friend would be completely fine with him eye stalking his baby sister. Honest. It was no big deal.
Uh-huh, and he’d just magically won the lottery.
Now, all he had to do was continue his stalking from afar without Danick catching him drooling all over his thirteen-year-old sister.
That was just…awesome.
He had this. After all, he’d been doing it for months. He swallowed hard as he went back to studying her. He kept a steady eye on Danick, too. He wasn’t up for another embarrassing round of twenty questions and he definitely wasn’t in the mood to get his ass kicked tonight.
Her wavy waist-length auburn hair was down, hanging loosely around her face. Her emerald green eyes were narrowed in concentration as she focused on something across the room. The sparse lighting in the basement hit her olive skin just right, making it shine. If he didn’t know better, he’d wager their little tomboy Shanna was actually wearing makeup.
The white tank top she was wearing over a pair of faded blue jeans was tight in all the right places, as were the jeans, but left enough breathing room for someone—like him—to still exercise the use of a very creative imagination.
Unlike most of the girls at the party, including his own girlfriend—yes, he went there—she had decided to actually leave the house in clothes.
He crumpled the cup in frustration and tossed it into the trash can beside him. He wasn’t one to drink much, but he hadn’t been able to get Shanna off his mind for days. That was dangerous, not to mention completely and utterly stupid.
He couldn’t get one innocent scene out of his mind, it kept playing on repeat, and it was bothering him to no end. The reason it bothered him so much was it made him feel like the biggest asshole on the face of the planet. And, contrary to popular belief, he didn’t make it his life’s goal to hold that particular tittle.
It didn’t bother him because he had a girlfriend—surprise, surprise he was a complete jerk. It bothered him because she happened to be his best friend’s baby sister.
And, okay, the whole confusing and frustrating situation was driving him towards a padded room and
a hug me jacket because she was three years younger than him, even though she was going to be a freshman in two months when school started. He and Danick were headed into junior year with driver’s licenses and cars.
Yeah, so this scene he was obsessing over like a preteen girl at an NSYNC concert…
One evening a few months ago, he had stopped by the Corelsand house to see Danick. He ended up finding Shanna home alone.
Now, before he went any further into this, he should disclose that he and Shanna had what most would consider a love/hate relationship. Their relationship generally balanced out more on the hate side of the line. They had been getting along prior to that night, but things were still a far cry from civil between them.
Okay, back to that night. Since she hadn’t threatened to maim, kill, castrate, or otherwise physically harm him within the first five seconds of opening the door, he had decided to come in and talk to her like they were normal people.
When they called a truce, they could actually have some decent conversations. Most of the time, these conversations took place behind closed doors with no witnesses. They had a reputation to protect, after all.
His staying had been a huge mistake. When it was time to leave—after a very interesting and friendly debate on Shakespeare—well, that was when he lost his common sense.
The bastard just up and said, “Peace, I’m out!” and took the rest of the evening off without consulting him.
As he was walking out the front door, he turned around and kissed her.
There he said it.
And he wasn’t going to lie. He enjoyed it. A little too much.
All he could tell you about how she felt about him kissing her is… Well, she sighed and didn’t fight him. Other than that, your guess was as good as his.
Now, after that night? Oh, it was back to World War Three between them. And, honestly, that was child’s play compared to what happened when they shared the same air space, let alone the same room together.
D pushed away from the wall, guilt gnawing at his stomach like a dog with a bone. With a groan and a few choice words, he headed back up the stairs in search of his girlfriend and, ideally, a way to assuage his guilty conscious.
He paused at the top of the stairs long enough to catch one last glimpse of her.
She knew she should have stayed home. Shanna downed the rest of the cheap, foul tasting beer, suddenly wishing she was the type to continue drinking until she was too wasted to think. If she was ever going to get stupid drunk, tonight would be the night.
Unfortunately, her practical side only allowed her to have the customary first drink. Someone had to stay sober and capable of rational thought. It might as well be the youngest member of the group, because it sure as hell wasn’t going to be any of the people she came to the party with.
Why did it have to her, though? This was her first high school party. She should be getting drunk and letting loose, not babysitting the older members of her group.
She looked over to her right. The sober person definitely wasn’t going to be her best friend, Del
Corbott. The fourteen-year-old was three sheets to the wind, blubbering happily between random sobs and pitched squeaks that were supposed to be screams.
When Shanna got her hands on that jerk boyfriend of Del’s, Luke Rhoades, she was going to wring his cheating neck and kick him until he was singing soprano.
There was no reason or excuse as to why he should be off with another girl when he knew his girlfriend was at the same party. There was never a good reason or excuse, but this was just taking things to a whole new level of douchbag.
She sighed, shifting on the couch. What did she know, though? The only reason she and her twin brother ever hung out with half these people was because they were August babies and a year ahead in school.
She was in the basement of some kid her older brother Danick knew, trapped on a couch in between her drunk best friend and said brother, because previously mentioned brother didn’t want to leave her home alone with their oldest brother, Kai.
For the record, she was the youngest of seven kids. She also happened to be the only girl. Out of the seven of them, she only shared the same two parents with two of her brothers.
What does that say about her parents?
The place was overflowing with teenage bodies. The music was insanely loud and the neighbors were pretending not to notice that there was a raging party full of intoxicated minors happening next door. The alcohol and drugs were flowing freely and were being taken full
advantage of.
Shanna reluctantly tuned back into her drunk and slightly hysterical friend. She shot daggers at Danick, who was perched on the arm of the couch next to her.
He ignored the evil look his sister was shooting him and continued his argument with his girlfriend, Jenna Wyles.
That was perfectly fine with her. She took the time to study Danick’s best friend, Denton Tiern, without her brother noticing. D was making his way up the stairs—hopefully leaving.
She couldn’t help noticing that he looked good. He had light coffee colored skin, coal black hair, and sky blue eyes. His light blue eyes, coupled with his dark skin, were extremely sexy. He was decked out in loose fitting blue jeans, a red tee, and tan boots.
She turned away just as he turned at the top of the stairs to look in her general direction.
Whoa. That was a close one.
Jenna’s eyes met hers. “Your brother is an ass.”
Shanna shrugged, running a hand through her thin waist-length hair. “I could’ve told you that. All you had to do was consult me before you decided to date him.”
Danick groaned. “You’re not helping.”
“I never said I was going to.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched helplessly as someone approached Del, replacing her empty cup with a full one. They then placed a small pill into the palm of her hand. Del tossed the pill back and drained the full cup of alcohol before Shanna could even blink.
Well, tomorrow was going to be a fun ride on the porcelain highway for her friend.
Shanna caught the reason Del had turned into a blubbering—now rolling—drunk heading up the staircase, his hands on Mercedes Carlisle’s waist. She couldn’t be pissed at Mercedes, but Luke was fair game.
“Excuse me. I’ve got some issues to deal with upstairs. Enjoy the rest of your fight.” Shanna pushed herself off the couch, mumbling under her breath, “Thank God for bickering, or you two would have nothing to talk about.”
Danick shot her a dirty look. “I heard that, Shan. Don’t worry, though. Despite your bitchiness, I’ll still pull babysitting detail.
“I never doubted you would.” She headed for the stairs, leaving her brother cursing behind her.
She lost herself in the crowd, somehow managing to make it up the narrow staircase without getting anything spilled on her. She took a deep breath as she reached the kitchen, taking a minute to enjoy the considerably less crowded atmosphere.
She turned to head towards the hallway leading to the bedrooms, running right into a surprisingly solid wall of muscle.
She stepped back, immediately recognizing the chest. She had been avoiding that particular brick wall for the last few months. She’d been attempting to hide from him since The Kiss. It was a tiring and damn near impossible task seeing as D, who was the owner of the chest she’d just walked face first into, was Danick’s best friend and always around. She had been doing decently well up until this point, she wasn’t going to blow it now.
“Sorry,” she muttered, moving to step around him. Her poor traitorous heart was beating itself into a harried frenzy inside of her chest.
It seemed that his presence had that or a similar effect on her lately. She chose not to analyze it too deeply or to acknowledge the obvious answer as to why that was. Denial was her friend. And avoiding him like he had the plague was the perfect solution.
D flashed her one of his thousand watt smiles, grabbing her arm to keep her from pulling another disappearing act on him like the coward she was. “Uh-uh. You and I need to have a little chat.”
Crap.
“No. We really don’t. There is absolutely nothing for us to talk about.” The lie was out of her mouth before she could stop it. She had meant to stay quiet. Maybe find a way out of his death grip so she could disappear into the crowd again. Somehow, though, her brain decided, against her will, that engaging him was a better idea.
“I think the lady doth protest too much.”
Shanna stopped fighting his hold. “Did you seriously just Shakespeare me straight out of Hamlet?” She shot him an incredulous look. “All because I won’t talk to you about that?”
He arched an eyebrow. “Well, to my defense, you were protesting having a simple conversation with me a little too strongly. You went there without even knowing what I wanted to talk to you about.” The corners of his mouth twitched like he was fighting a smile. “If you didn’t know why I wanted to talk to you, or that there was something we needed to discuss, you honestly wouldn’t have been avoiding me like a leper over the last few months. You and I both know it.”
Damn. He had her there.
She studied his chest. “I haven’t been avoiding you. I just…” Okay, that sounded weak, even to her. “I just ha—”
The rest of the lie died on her lips as he pulled her down the hallway and into the nearest open bedroom.
Next thing she knew, she was locked in a room alone with him. He had his back against the door and she was trying to figure out how the hell she’d ended up cowering in the corner like an abused dog waiting for the next blow.
She blinked. Well, now.
She really, really needed to stop getting herself into these predicaments. One of these times she was going to find herself in some serious trouble. She was already in way over her head.
Yet, knowing it would come back to bite her, she couldn’t help baiting him. “Shouldn’t you be off in some dark corner with Veronica?” she asked sweetly. Her back pressed into the wall as she attempted to become one with the white plaster to further the distance between them. She couldn’t think, let alone breathe, with him in such a close proximity and she needed a clear head to survive this. “You know, your girlfriend?”
“Now, now,” he said, slowly crossing the room towards her. “If I didn’t know any better, I would say you were jealous, Corelsand.”
“Screw you, Tiern.”
He reached her, an eyebrow arched in amusement. He rested a hand against the wall on either side of her head. His blue eyes twinkled as they met her green ones. “You know, if you’re not careful, I’m going to take you up on that offer one of these days.”
Wait—what? Offer? What offer?
Before she could respond, or even think, he did the unthinkable.
He leaned in and kissed her.
She stood frozen, confused. He brushed his lips against hers so softly, she wasn’t sure if she was imagining it or not. Let’s just say, in her defense, there may or may not have been some dreams over the last few months that called reality into question at the moment and leave it at that. Okay? Okay, then. Cool.
There really was a thin line between fantasy and reality, so while that line was left to be determined, she decided whether or not she should knee him where the sun didn’t shine.
He surprised her again, this time putting more pressure on her lips, then sliding his tongue into her mouth to explore.
Of their own accord, her arms lifted from their stiff position at her sides to wrap themselves around his neck as she opened her mouth for better access.
She now officially had him in a lover’s embrace. Really?
She could, without a doubt, say that this wasn’t a dream. This was very much happening here in the real world. She felt her insides—which had frozen in fear—start to steadily thaw out as the kiss deepened.
He pressed her more deeply into the wall, the hard plaster biting into the parts of her back and shoulders not protected by her tank top. He lowered his hands to her hips, burning a hole through her jeans, sending a shiver she wasn’t ready to define up her spine.
At that point, she lost all sense of time. Hell, there was no point in lying. She just plain lost all her senses period. All rational thought took flight out of the open bedroom window like a caged bird just now discovering its freedom.
She had been secretly dreaming about this since that last mind blowing kiss a few months ago. As much as she tried to ignore it, she felt something for this infuriating boy. She wis
hed it was anyone but him—things got really awkward when people got involved with their sibling friends in any way that wasn’t one hundred percent platonic. Unfortunately, it was him.
She really wasn’t ready to admit to or define exactly what it was she felt for him.
Granted, the kiss from a few months ago wasn’t even in the same ballpark as this kiss. The previous kiss had been in the minor league, whereas this one was in the majors.
Crap.
This was bad. Very, very bad.
She didn’t want the kiss to end.
Crap, crap, and crap again.
Yeah, that scared her a lot, but she was a big girl. She’d deal with it and life would go on.
He pulled away, stepping back with a sigh.
She slid down the wall to the carpet, her knees unable to support her any longer. They felt suspiciously like Jell-O.
D walked over to the window, bracing his hands on the window sill. He quietly watched the partygoers in the yard.
The silence was awkward and seemed to drag on forever.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said, his voice low and quiet as he bowed his head. “That shouldn’t have happened. It wasn’t fair.”
Shanna’s heart was beating loudly in her chest, her pulse wild, like she’d just run a 5K race, and it was difficult to catch her breath. It was more unfair than he knew, and not just on his end.
“What was your first clue?” she mumbled as her body finally started to wind down, her hormones no longer dictating her actions. “The fact that you’re my brother’s best friend? Or maybe it’s the fact that I am three years younger than you? Or maybe what clued you in to that very obvious fact was my original question. Which, by the way, I will pose to you again. Shouldn’t you be off in some dark corner with your girlfriend?”
“Leave her out of this, Shanna,” he warned in a low tone, turning around to face her. “This has to do with you and me. No one else. You don’t get to hide behind her.”
Surviving Today Page 7
