by Fiona Lowe
He frowned, confusion moving along the creases of his forehead. ‘She’s met the kids.’
‘I’m not talking about your family with Sophia. I’m talking about your mother’s family. Are you interested in trying to find out if any of your aunties or uncles or cousins are still alive?’
He rubbed the back of his neck, his expression taut. ‘I dunno, Eddy. It’s been a lifetime since then.’
‘Have Michelle’s questions made you think about it just a little?’
He took a few moments before he spoke. ‘A bit. But …’ This time he dragged his hand through his hair.
‘If you want to start searching, I’d love to help. That is, I’ll help if you want my help.’ She gave him what she hoped was an encouraging smile. ‘I’ve never been to the back of Bourke.’
‘I was born in Wilcannia. It’s southwest of Bourke.’
‘Right. Well, I haven’t been southwest of Bourke either. We could visit all the places you remember your mother and grandmother mentioning they’d lived or had family living.’
‘It wouldn’t be fair to leave Charlie and Teddy on their own just yet,’ Doug said firmly. ‘Harriet’s getting better with Teddy but her job makes her unreliable. We did offer to help.’
‘I didn’t mean that we take off tomorrow,’ she said gently, ‘and I’m not talking about being away for months at a time. I’m thinking a series of short trips with time in Mildura and Billawarre in between. Besides, we can’t leave until after Georgie and Ben’s wedding. I’ve made some enquires—’
‘Enquiries? Geez, Eddy.’
She frowned at his frustrated tone. He was creating excuses. On the one hand she understood his hesitancy and on the other she thought it was important he start looking for his mother’s family.
‘Have I done the wrong thing?’
‘I dunno. It’s all a bit of a surprise.’ Consternation crossed his face. ‘You haven’t mentioned this to Georgie or Michelle have you?’
She shook her head. ‘It’s your decision, Doug. It’s just I get the impression that finding Michelle has brought back some memories for you and sparked a lot of unanswered questions.’
He sat down heavily at the table. ‘I can see my mother in her. The way she walks. Her smile. The frown line between her eyes. She’s much the same age as Mum was when she died.’
‘I think she’d be keen to help you.’
Apprehension flickered on his usually sanguine face. ‘Before I do anything, I’d need to talk to the other kids. See how they feel about it.’
‘They might want to help too. They’ve got a gap in their story as well.’
‘I always thought it was easier to forget,’ he said sadly. ‘Thought it would make life easier. When I married Sophia, people just assumed I was Italian. I got some shit for that but it was nothing compared to what I’d have got for being Aboriginal. Mildura in the seventies was pretty unforgiving and I had a family to support. The business would have suffered.’
‘You won’t get any judgement from me, Doug. We do what we have to do at the time, but times change.’ She sat across from him and slipped her hands into his. ‘Our families are like a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces. You helped me fill my missing piece by finding Michelle. I can never thank you enough for standing with me while we did that. Now I want to help you fill in some of the spaces in your family puzzle.’
‘You want me to do this?’
‘Only if you want to, but Michelle’s got a bee in her bonnet about country. I have a feeling she might try doing it on her own. That worries me only because it might upset your girls and Ben. If you make the decision then you’re the lynchpin for the family, which is as it should be. It’s your story.’
‘My story.’ He puffed out a long breath. ‘Crikey. There’s stuff I haven’t thought about in years. All the moving. The orphanage …’
‘There are people you can talk to if you need to.’
His brown eyes sought hers, filled with love. ‘You’re a special woman, Eddy.’
‘I’m not special. But I’m lucky.’
‘How do you figure that?’
‘I’ve been blessed with second chances. I’ve been blessed with you.’
He grinned. ‘Well, when you put it like that.’ Still holding her hands, he stood up and pulled her to her feet and kissed her. ‘I feel exactly the same way.’
She cupped his cheek. ‘Even if you’re surrounded by women?’
‘Your daughters, my daughters and our daughter are going to keep life interesting. There’s nothing wrong with that.’
She laughed. ‘Nothing indeed.’
EPILOGUE
Harriet walked through Glenora’s French doors just after one in the afternoon and dropped her keys in the dish on the dresser. She placed the small pile of mail next to it. Teddy was sitting on a mat on the floor sucking the ear of the toy rabbit Steve had dubbed Mixie. When he saw her he squealed, dropped the toy and put out his arms to be picked up.
‘Hello, darling boy. You really are the best thing for my ego. Not everyone is quite so excited to see me.’ Harriet bent down and scooped him up, hugging him close before feeling a distinctive dampness seeping through his baby jeans. ‘Oh, and I see you saved that big wee for me, did you?’ She held him away from her silk blouse and walked over to the change table while he kicked his plump legs in delight.
‘Oh, great, you’re home.’ Charlotte stood in the doorway smiling and holding a laundry basket filled with Teddy’s clothes. ‘I was hoping you wouldn’t have any emergencies.’
Harriet had been trialling having Wednesday afternoons off and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t. ‘Today was blessedly straightforward. I picked up the mail. Mardi has to be the only person I know who still writes postcards. This one’s a picture of the Wilcannia post office.’
Charlotte set down the basket and picked up the postcard. ‘She says Wilcannia’s Barkindji country—’ she sounded out the unfamiliar word ‘—and it goes all the way to Wentworth. That’s near Mildura, isn’t it?’
Harriet slid a plastic apron over her head before undoing Teddy’s nappy. She’d learned the hard way that little boys could spray far and wide when given the chance. ‘Your geography’s better than mine.’
‘What?’ she said with faux shock. ‘You don’t look at the map Doug left us every time you open the fridge?’ She checked the map. ‘It’s only thirty kilometres away. Wow, he was living close to his country all this time.’
‘Only if his mother originally came from there. From what I understand, a lot of Aboriginal people were removed from their land and taken to Wilcannia in the early twentieth century. She could have come from anywhere.’
Charlotte continued reading. ‘They’ve found someone who thinks they remember Doug’s mother. There might be family in Cobar, Tilpa or Bourke.’ Her phone beeped and she swiped the screen and laughed. ‘Michelle’s posted a selfie taken in the back of the car and titled it, “Are we there yet?” Her daughter’s left a comment saying, “Now you know how I felt”.’ She slipped her phone back into her pocket. ‘We didn’t do family road trips, did we?’
‘God, no,’ Harriet said picking up a now dry Teddy. ‘Driving to Melbourne airport to start the holiday takes long enough.’
‘I got a letter from Dad today.’
‘Oh?’ Harriet had reached a place where she no longer flinched when she thought about her ex-husband. James had been in prison for ten months of his five-year sentence. Once the court case had finished in March, the town’s reaction to her had thawed considerably. She was slowly rebuilding her practice but she’d been surprised to discover she had no desire to return to the frenetic pace of the past. Equally surprising was how much she enjoyed having some spare time in her week to read, exercise and to spend with Teddy.
Charlotte had visited James in prison once, taking Teddy to meet him. It had almost killed Harriet to think of an innocent little baby inside a prison but she’d only vented to Xara. They’d walked—she’d stomped—ar
ound the paddocks and she’d ranted and raved until she’d run out of breath and rancour. All Xara had said was, ‘You know what you need to do.’
She’d driven home to Glenora. ‘Charlotte, Beechworth’s a five-hour drive with a baby. I’m not setting a foot inside that prison but if you want me to come and share the driving with you then I will.’
Charlotte had accepted. By overlooking the reason for the trip, Harriet had enjoyed the time in the car with Charlotte and Teddy, along with the glorious autumnal colours of the Ovens Valley.
‘Dad doesn’t have much news.’
‘That’s hardly surprising.’
‘He’s been working with Landcare.’
Harriet nodded and resettled Teddy on the blanket, placing a circle of toys around him. She didn’t need to know any more. ‘What are your plans for your precious afternoon off? Reading? Taking a walk on your own?’
‘Actually…’ Charlotte reached for a blue folder labelled Teddy’s Name Day. ‘Can you help me with this?’
‘Planning a party? Now, that sounds like my worst nightmare,’ she said with a big smile. Edwina had been right—she did love throwing parties and socialising. She missed it. ‘Have you finalised the guest list?’
‘Almost. I’ve invited the great aunties.’
Harriet tried to hide her surprise. ‘All six of them?’
‘They probably won’t come but I wanted them to know they were welcome. Besides, I love how Doug’s daughters have that great Italian enthusiasm for children. You have to admit, it makes us look a bit restrained and emotionally stunted.’
‘Blame your dour Scottish Presbyterian ancestors.’
Charlotte tapped her pen against the list as if she was considering a dilemma. ‘And I’ve invited Andrew.’
Harriet stilled. ‘Excuse me?’
‘You heard. I’ve invited Andrew. He’s here heaps so it makes sense.’
‘He’s here because Doug’s a classic car broker and he’s selling his MG,’ Harriet said, irritation rising.
‘Yeah, but he likes you, Mum. Can’t you see that?’
Harriet did see it but his manner with her had never progressed beyond an increasingly easy camaraderie, which she appreciated. ‘We’re friends and that’s all. Just because you’re reading Jane Austen at the moment doesn’t mean you have to read more into our friendship than exists.’
Charlotte rolled her eyes. ‘Georgie, Xara and I had a conference call the other night all about it and they agree with me. He watches you just like Steve watches Xara, and Ben watches Georgie, and Doug—’
‘Stop.’ She held up her hand. ‘I will not have my daughter matchmaking for me.’
‘Why not? I’m an adult daughter, remember?’
Harriet ground her teeth. ‘Not when it comes to my love life.’
‘You don’t have a love life, Mum,’ Charlotte said with exasperation. ‘And isn’t it time? I mean, you and Dad are over. I’m sad about it but I get it. It’s too hard to fix. And you’re officially divorced. To be honest, I thought you and Andrew would have hooked up two months ago.’
‘Hooked up?’ she squeaked, breaking out in a cold sweat at the thought. ‘Dear God, Charlotte, I’m not nineteen. And I haven’t been on a date since 1992. The whole idea terrifies me.’
‘Nothing scares you, Mum.’
‘Oh, Charlotte,’ she said with a sigh, missing the optimism and naiveté of youth. ‘Plenty of things scare me. This conversation for one.’
Charlotte laughed. ‘Do you remember when Teddy was teething and I was exhausted? You and Andrew took him for a long walk until he fell asleep?’
She remembered. It had been one of many walks—not all of them known to Charlotte. ‘Hmm,’ she murmured noncommittally.
‘You were gone for ninety minutes. You had coffee. That’s a date.’
‘No, that’s two friends spending time together.’
‘Oh, please.’ Charlotte jumped up. ‘He’s single. You’re single. You’re both doctors. You have heaps in common. He’s asking your advice about houses and he’s taken you to six house inspections in the last three months.’
‘That would be because he’s buying a house.’ Harriet stood up and searched the fridge as much to move as to look for something for lunch.
Charlotte wouldn’t let the subject drop. ‘But is he? Don’t you think it’s odd that he’s never actually bid on any of them or made an offer?’
‘No. Houses are very personal. They have to speak to you.’
‘Exactly, and none of them have spoken to you.’
‘I’m not the one buying.’ She slapped slices of cold roast beef onto wholemeal bread. She’d delayed buying a house in Billawarre. When Charlotte started university next year, she’d need a place to live and Harriet was considering buying an investment property in Melbourne. Right now, living at Glenora was working out pretty well. She had two rooms: her bedroom and a room she’d decorated as a quiet space. Edwina had offered her the exclusive use of the library but as it was filled with strong memories of her father, it no longer offered the same sense of peace it once had. Her conflicted feelings for Richard still warred inside her and she’d decided the best way to deal with them was to acknowledge her disappointment with him in regards to Edwina, but to hold on to the love, support and advice he’d always shown her. With that in mind, she’d moved some of his books into her sitting room along with solo photos of him and the framed copies of his MBBS and Fellow of The Royal College of Surgeons certificates.
Living in her childhood home had also given her the opportunity to get to know her mother through a new set of eyes. Harriet had always thought of herself as being a lot like her father but she now recognised she and Edwina shared many traits. It was probably why they clashed. There were still times when they differed but once when she’d have rolled her eyes and dismissed Edwina’s point of view out of hand, she now had a clearer idea of where her mother’s opinion was coming from. It lent itself more to negotiation and conciliation.
And then there was Doug. It turned out he loved a good debate. Without too much skin in the game, the two of them sparred, often taking an opposing view from their own beliefs just to see how far they could run with it. Harriet enjoyed the intellectual stimulation. Doug had been remarkably generous to Charlotte with his time and sage advice. He still divided his time between Billawarre and his family and business in Mildura. Now Teddy was six months old, Edwina joined him there. Family, Harriet had learned, was a continuous balancing act to keep everyone happy.
The sound of footsteps on the gravel path made her glance up from the sandwich and with a fizz of surprise, she caught sight of black and silver hair and rimless glasses.
‘Did you invite Andrew over?’ she hissed at Charlotte.
Her daughter, who was picking up Teddy, ignored her. ‘Hello, Andrew,’ Charlotte said with a wide smile as he stepped inside.
Andrew clucked a dribbling Teddy under the chin. ‘G’day, mate.’
Teddy shrieked in delight and reached for his glasses. Andrew ducked and turned.
‘G’day, Harriet. You ready to go?’
Increasingly suspicious, Harriet glared at Charlotte. ‘Go where?’
‘I’ll see you two later,’ Charlotte said, hastily buckling Teddy into the pram. ‘Have fun. Bye.’
‘Charlotte!’ But her daughter had crossed the threshold and was marching down the long gravel drive.
Andrew looked between the retreating Charlotte and Harriet, his expression clearly confused. ‘Have I missed something?’
‘I think we both have,’ she muttered as she sliced the sandwich in half with a satisfying cut. As she offered him half, she realised how often they shared a sandwich. ‘Where are we going?’
‘Golf.’
‘Golf? Why?’
‘Because you invited me.’
‘Remind me to kill my daughter when she gets home.’
‘Not sure what that’s got to do with golf,’ he said with a grin, ‘but okay.’
; She’d always felt at ease in Andrew’s company but now she was suddenly hot and embarrassed. She pressed a glass against the fridge’s chilled water dispenser, filled it and downed the contents quickly.
‘Want to fill me in?’ he asked, biting into the sandwich.
Not really. ‘God, I hate games.’
He frowned. ‘Then why did you suggest golf? I have to say I thought it was a bit odd. In the year I’ve known you, I’ve never heard you mention golf before.’
‘I used to play but I haven’t since James … Well, you know. I stopped doing a lot of things fifteen months ago.’
‘So you do like golf?’
‘I prefer tennis.’
He rubbed his chin. ‘I have no idea what the hell is going on.’
She pressed her fingertips to her forehead, took a deep breath and then raised her head to look into his kind and rugged face. He wasn’t GQ-model handsome but there was a sincerity about him she found very attractive. ‘I didn’t invite you to play golf.’
‘But I got a text from you.’ He pulled out his phone.
She groaned. ‘I’m sorry. I’m ninety-nine per cent certain Charlotte sent that text.’
‘She wants you to play golf?’
‘She …’ Her cheeks burned so hot they’d light dry pasture. ‘I’m sorry. She’s got it into her head that I should spend more time with you.’
His wide mouth slowly tilted into a broad smile. ‘Does she? You’ve got a remarkable daughter.’
‘I’ve got an interfering daughter,’ she said, struck by the irony that Charlotte had turned the tables by making decisions for her without consultation. ‘I’m sorry if she’s made you feel awkward. That’s the very last thing I’d ever want. Your friendship this last year has meant a lot to me and Charlotte’s clearly overstepped the mark.’
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ he said rubbing his jaw. ‘I think spending more time together is something worth considering.’
Surprise and delight zipped through her along with a soupçon of anxiety. ‘You do?’
‘I do.’ He rocked back on his heels. ‘What are your thoughts?’
Harriet was struggling to string a single thought together. The unforeseen breakdown of her marriage had shocked and traumatised her and for a long time the idea of being involved in another relationship was hard to imagine. And scary. She wasn’t easy to live with.
