by Brown, Tara
Furgus burps and rubs pasta sauce on my pants, scratching his beard and cleaning it on me. He’s relaxing again. At least he is.
“Let’s sit by the fire, Lou.” Liam gets up and offers me a hand. Scowling, I take it, my fingers burning with the desire to rip away and run, but I need my Littles so I play along. We walk the seven steps to the fire and I sit, shuddering from the heat and the fact my friend is buying his bullshit.
I have to admit, he lays it on sweet, like he’s icing a cake.
“It’s going to be amazing in fifty years, the difference. The world will have healed, the animal population will be normalized, the bees will be saved, and the atmosphere will be cleaner. We won’t let things like money and greed shape how we live or what resources we need. Everything will be clean and green,” Liam continues icing the cake and Lee buys it.
“That is exactly how the world should be. Making a bunch of bullshit politicians and oil billionaires rich has put us right where we are.”
“And it’s time for us to start over.” His eyes glisten in the firelight, almost as if the flames are burning inside him.
In my version of Revelation, he might be the devil.
I don't know yet, but he scares me. Him and his ideas.
“And you, Lou, will see that in time. Once you let those nanobots open you, and you give them the permission they require to bring you to your full potential, you’ll see what I’m saying is true.” He winks at Lee like she knows this secret to life.
I don't believe him.
I hope I never do.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Pacing my room, which seems to be getting smaller and smaller, is how I spent the night. And all of today.
No one comes for me.
No one speaks to me.
And I don't hear anything useful.
I try breaking the windows but I think they’re bulletproof. The lock on the door can’t be broken and I have nothing to pick it with. The door itself seems too strong for me to kick down.
So I pace and worry.
It’s not awesome or useful, and I end up with a stomachache and trembling fingers.
In desperation and with a lack of options, I succumb to one answer.
I need to do what Liam said.
I lie back on the bed, trying to relax my mind, and think about the journey up to this point. I force my brain to loosen as I take deep inhales and exhales like in yoga class.
Then I contemplate the nanorobots.
For a second I doubt this, fearing they’ve made Liam evil, helping him to become one of those masterminds from the movies who end up a villain because he’s chaotic good in his mind.
But then I remember the nanobots are helpful, not hurtful. They wouldn't make someone evil, but maybe they’d enhance the intelligence those evil people always had.
For whatever reason, crazy assholes always seem so smart.
I don't have that.
But I have the nanobots, and if they can put me on the same playing field as Liam if I let them, then I need to do that. I just hope I can control it and force them to improve my goodness and enhance what I already am even more.
Against everything I have felt about this, I change my mind about the bots. I force myself to believe that the nanobots are the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't brainwash myself or trick myself, obviously that wouldn’t work. I change my mind about the events that have led to this moment. And my opinion of the nanobots.
My dad wouldn't have been the best bet for Joey in this moment.
My dad was a great man, but it might be better that I am here now, knowing everything that is going down.
Dad might not have seen Liam as evil. He may have also seen the potential in humans and believed all the talking. He was an idealist and he did want a better world. He made the nanobots, so his belief that they are capable of healing and fixing everything, even in someone evil like Liam, was stronger than his ability to see right from wrong.
Forcing humans to be better is wrong.
Forcing the bots on the last of us is wrong, especially if Liam can control them.
I have to stop him, so I have to become his equal.
I have to take my bots and make myself stronger to be able to fight against the evil.
I see that and my nanobots bloom.
It’s my turn to take this as far as I can.
I open my mind, asking them to help me be better. Help me be stronger. Help me be more. I give them the permission I didn't know they needed so I can become my full potential.
The blue lights burst behind my closed eyes, lighting up like fireworks.
Everything explodes with color and beauty as my brain expands and I see so much more.
Liam’s plan has the potential to create a utopia; he’s right in a lot of ways. The Garden of Eden could exist for us, humans and bots. But control is where he’s wrong. We could work together, educate the humans and the bots. We don't need ulterior motives or control. We don't need a king. We don't need a ruler. We don't need fear.
We need harmony and freewill.
My father’s idealism washes down into me, matching my mother’s desperate need for justice and fairness.
I am both of my parents and I am everything Joey needs or ever needed.
I am the right one to be alive in this moment, I just didn't see it. Emotion clouded me.
But where my rational brain has taken over, my emotions have diminished.
And through that detachment I see what I need to do.
Opening my eyes, the room bursts like it has never before. The answers flit in, common sense prevails. I get up, no longer anxious or worried. My fears and doubts are gone. I grab the vase with the flowers and smash it on the floor, shattering glass everywhere. Then I grab the plastic bottle of water and finish it. Bending down, I get a sharp piece of glass and cut a square from the large bottle. Dropping both the glass and the left-over bottle, I walk to the door, sliding the piece of plastic into the crease between the door and wall, I listen for when it hits the metal, and I push it and the metal in.
I pull open the door, impressed. I almost thank the nanobots aloud but decide that would be weird.
Listening down the hall, I try to locate everyone.
It’s dusk, almost twenty-four hours since I went into the room, so I don't even know who’s here. I pray my sister and the Littles are. And Kyle. He’s useful in moments such as this, smart.
Creeping down the hall, I don't hear anyone. The guys outside—the thugs with guns—are there, laughing about silly things I don't care about.
When I get to the next door, I do the same thing, picking the lock with my plastic card.
The main area is empty.
I listen, my own heart pounding and my mouth dry.
There’s another vase on the glass table in the middle of the room with a red note. I see my name and hurry to it. My stomach tenses. Even the nanobots can’t quiet the nerves I feel when I see my name scrawled in a beautiful form of handwriting.
Lou, so glad you were able to find yourself finally. Come find us, prove your worth. Their lives depend on it. L.
Not sure I understand, I spin in a circle, contemplating the note and the prediction I would make it this far on my own. “What the hell?”
My blood begins to boil as my heart races and my mouth dries. My body recovers from the rage too quickly, sucking that feeling from me. It’s irrational. I need to stay calm and focused. But the old me, the normal me, the human me, is desperate for a little release. Steam has built inside me and I don't know how to get it out.
I grab the vase and throw it at the window facing the ocean. It smashes against the bulletproof glass. Then I flip the table, smashing it all over the marble floor.
The doors open behind me, men with guns give me a confused stare. The chubby guy’s there.
He lifts his gun and the answer to my instant predicament comes to life. He shoots as I drop to the floor, grabbing and tossing a shard of glass that stabs hi
m in the neck. I fling two others, hitting two more in the neck. They gargle and shoot as I run to the side, my legs flexing as I sprint for the bar, leaping over it. I grab glasses and fire them, smashing the glass in front of the men shooting at me. Then I charge, still throwing glasses at them, smashing the glass and making them recoil. I grab one gun, spinning it and shooting the chubby guy in the face. Using him as a shield, I shoot the others, each one between the eyes. As they fall, the area goes silent. No heartbeats. No breaths. No noise. Just me, huffing and trying to reach a level of remorse for what I just did.
But my mind whispers, it’s you or them. You chose you because Joey needs you.
I don't know how true it is, or if I’ve sacrificed my humanity to meet Liam on the level he’s at. I don't even know if I’m at his level yet.
Blood moves like snakes, slithering along the floor. I take a step back from it, a bit uncomfortable about the fact my body wants me to step to it. My body wants me to let it come to me.
As I’m about to take another step away, I pause. Fear is pushing me back but the bots are driving me forward, they know what’s best. They know my mission. I’ve given us a job, find Joey. To accomplish that job, I must do everything they think is best. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as someone else’s blood worms its way up my runners and jeans, slithering and tickling its way to my mouth. It circles my lips, warm and pulsating.
I pop open my mouth and prepare to taste the rust of their blood, but it chooses a different path. It slithers to the side of my face and climbs in my ears, giving me the worst case of the shivers I’ve ever had.
Bright blue lights burst in my eyes, coloring the room around me with fireworks.
Memories fill my head, not mine but as if a movie were playing outside my head, in front of my face. It’s a hologram only I can see.
The chubby guy is laughing at a dark-haired guy’s joke as Lee, Liam, and Harold climb into a helicopter on the beach. Furgus jumps in after them. The four of them leave. He watches them go and the time passes. He eats and sleeps and eats some more and walks the grounds.
But they never come back.
Glass shatters.
Noise disrupts their laughing.
They open the door and there I am, fierce and angry.
It’s the strangest thing, watching myself fight and move and eventually kill. I want to close my eyes, but I know the movie will only get brighter behind my lids. My eyes glow blue in his vision of me. No doubt color from the firing of the lights in my mind.
The second his lights go out, the movie ends.
My heart should be broken.
My fingers should feel different stained with blood and hate.
But all I can think about is the fact Liam never came back.
He never came here.
He went and found my family and he took them to Canada.
I turn and run the entire way back to the golf course, back to the small helicopter Harold flew us in.
I don't know how to fly it but the second I sit, everything he did plays back slowly. The bots are showing me what I saw, I absorbed. I only needed to pay attention and replay the acts at a slower rate.
A grim smile crawls across my face as I manage to get the helicopter off the ground.
I don't fly it to Canada. I fly it to a military base, one the chubby guy knew about. He went there to get the stealthy helicopter Liam has.
He knew things like it was called Travis Air Force Base, and he’d worked here as a cook. The images I see are older: He’s incredibly large and sad. Always watching the military men with something, need. Desire. I wonder for a second if it was the desire to be like them, but then I realize it wasn't. He was attracted to them, but in secret.
He ate his shame.
Sad.
He never worked up the nerve to ask anyone out or be who he was.
My pity for him is buried under the words you or him. It’s watered down and a bit tasteless. I want to disagree with the bots about this but the idea that remorse for choosing to live is weak and that weakening myself only endangers Joey is too strong.
So I swallow down my sadness and pity and land the helicopter on the base tarmac. I get out and duck, running straight for the spot where I know there are more of the black choppers. I pass the undead along the way, not paying them any attention in the same way they hardly notice me.
They hum differently now. That's all I observe as I step over bones and debris, climbing inside one of the choppers. For a second I’m almost overwhelmed at the idea of flying it, but the fear fades as the information passes to my fingers. I do the checks and finally try to start it. It doesn't work. I try again and again, but it doesn't work. Finally, I hold the tip of my finger up to the machine until it glows bright blue like ET’s finger in the movie glows red. My fingertip bursts, making me wince as the blue lights travel out, entering the instrument panel. My skin heals and the nanobots that have left me, fix whatever’s wrong. I start up the chopper, listening to the sound difference between it and the little chopper. It’s crazy how quiet this is in comparison.
My hands lift on their own, controlled completely by the bots as they work with the little guys inside the chopper.
I sit back and let my hands and robots fly us from the base.
I could sleep and they would get us there, doing everything for me.
That’s creepy. I can’t even sugarcoat that in my mind, which makes me smile.
I am still me, even if it’s only a little bit.
We start to fly north when a thought hits me.
Liam is smart. He’s smarter than I am. He wouldn't have told me about the farm in Canada; he wouldn’t make it this easy. He’s toying with me. He likes games.
And he hates humans.
He would want to see them change. He would want to be there, smug and annoying like he was with Lee.
He’s at the city, not smuggling my sister and family out silently, but attacking the humans. I’d bet one of my regenerating arms on it.
Chapter Thirty
I land at the old guesthouse above Boulder, taking the key and jumping out.
A man comes running out the front door. I recognize him from the first time I was here with my parents.
“You can’t park that here!” he shouts, angry at me.
“Do you have a car?” I ask, ignoring his shouting.
“Did you hear me? You can’t park here. This is private land.” His face is red under his big beard.
“I know. I won’t be long. Is there a car or truck I can borrow?”
“You need to move that before the military sees it. I don't want to end up getting in trouble with them.” He points, towering over me as he gets closer.
“Dude, you need to calm down. They won’t see it. They’re busy, trust me. Have you seen the smoke?” I point to the black smoke coming from down the hill. “Someone is attacking.” I roll my eyes. “I don't have time for this—do you have a car or a truck or a bike? I need to rescue my little sister from the city before she’s killed in the crossfire.”
“Attacked?” he screams and runs back in the house.
“He needs you guys,” I mutter to the blue lights inside me as I stalk to the side of the house and scan the area for anything resembling transportation that isn’t a military chopper.
“You’re one of them,” a lady says from the behind the house. “Like me.” She comes closer, humming and calming me inside.
“That's how you guys have made it this far?” I nod. “I wondered when I saw the new signs.”
“Cattle prod.” She cracks a bitter grin. “I electrocuted the lady who bit me, not realizing how it would change things.”
“So you didn't do the life journey through your sins?”
“No.” She laughs. “I might not have made it through that.” I realize after a second she’s the older lady who belongs with the man with the beard. She’s younger than I remember her being. The bots are healing her aging.
“Try lying back and rel
axing and giving the nanobots inside you permission to take you to your highest good. Your best person. Your potential. Works wonders.” I wink. “Also, if you take some of your blood and inject it into him, he can become like us. In case he wants that.” I offer the choice, unlike Liam the crazy dictator. Not everyone wants this, I know that.
“Really?” Her eyes focus on the house and then she laughs. “He won’t want it. Not his thing.” She nods. “There’s a bike around back. You can use it if you like. Just bring it back, please.”
“Thanks, I will.” I hurry to the back and jump on, riding away. “I’ll be back for my chopper, I promise.”
I pedal as fast as I can, which is fast.
The wind blows by me as I sail down the highway to Boulder, passing the road where we stopped last time. Ignoring the fact there’s guards, I ride right up to the gate. It’s only manned by a couple now. The battle and shouting and shooting in the background suggests they might all be preoccupied.
“Halt!” one of them shouts at me.
Not listening, I ride up close and get off the bike.
The man with the gun holds it on me, his hands trembling. “You can’t come in here. Your kind aren’t allowed.”
“How do you know I’m—?”
“Your eyes.” He flinches.
“Okay, well whatever that means, I don't care what you say. I’m going in there. Those assholes attacking you, are here for my sister. I want to save her and leave. I won’t be staying or attacking you humans. I will likely kill some of the assholes, if you’re game for that.” I hold my hands up, shrugging.
“Stop talking!” He jerks his gun at me.
“Fine.” I grab the gun, pulling it to me as he fires, blasting a hole in my stomach. Bright lights shine from the wound as I spin the gun and smack him over the head with it which knocks him out. I tilt my head at the other guy as the bright lights fill in my wound, not taking the pain away, just fixing me. “You want to put your gun down or do I need to hit you too?”
