by Dawn Goodwin
‘You didn’t ruin her life.’
‘That’s not how she saw it. She used to leave me alone for days when I was little. She’d disappear with her new boyfriends and leave me to fend for myself. Then she’d come back either with a new boyfriend or a new drug habit.’ She rubbed at her eyes like a child. ‘Then one day I came home from school to a letter and a twenty-pound note. She’d gone – and never came back.’
Maddie clasped a hand over her mouth, aghast. ‘She left you?’
‘Yeah, but good riddance to her. I’ve been on my own ever since. And I’ve done alright, you know? But I can’t lose Ben – he’s all I have. He’s my whole world.’
‘That won’t happen. We’ll make sure of it,’ Maddie said in a whisper as Jade began to cry again.
‘You have to help me get rid of him, Maddie, otherwise I have no choice but to run away with Ben.’
*
Maddie swirled the wine in her glass and stared out at the black sky. The clouds were thick and ominous, the night inky and slick behind them. Her mind was just as overcast as she considered what had just happened.
She’d eventually calmed Jade down, got the ugly crying under control, made her a cup of sweet tea and tucked her up on the couch like a poorly child, with the remote control and a grab bag of crisps. If she was acting, she was very good. Her eyes were red and puffy, her nose still sniffly, when Maddie let herself out of the flat and returned to her own.
The episode had unnerved Maddie. Jade’s demeanour had switched in a matter of seconds and Maddie was left wondering which side of Jade was to be believed. It worried her for Ben’s sake – how unpredictable she could be and how fiery her temper. Did she think Jade would ever hurt Ben? Probably not. But Maddie also had to consider her background, the stories she had just told Maddie about her own mother and her all-encompassing desperation to hold onto Ben, to not lose him. Maddie understood that level of desperation all too well. That feeling of clinging onto something with the very edges of your fingernails and the fear as you feel your grip failing.
Where was Ben tonight anyway? She hadn’t seen any sign of him in days. If his dad had been looking after him more, that would explain Jade’s mood swings and emotional outbursts. She was probably missing Ben like mad.
She hoped that was the case anyway.
But if not, if Maddie was even slightly worried about Ben’s safety, then should she take matters into her own hands?
*
Jade blew her nose loudly and looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. She hadn’t expected to feel as emotional as she had done in the end. The disappointment that Maddie wasn’t going to present her with a fat cheque had made her furious, then panicked, and she hadn’t needed to pretend this time after all, not after she’d had an uncharacteristic premonition that maybe this scheme wouldn’t work out after all. It had seemed a no-brainer when she first met Maddie, but now she wasn’t so sure.
Maddie had more layers to her than Jade had initially expected. For a while, Jade had considered calling the whole thing off because Maddie was clearly a woman on the edge and Jade didn’t need to attract that kind of attention to herself. But then she realised that her very instability could be the hook Jade was looking for.
Hence the sob story about her mother. It hadn’t taken her long to realise that the anger was not helping. It had worked on that stupid bitch Lucy, with her bouncy blonde hair and Bambi eyes, but Maddie was proving a tougher nut to crack – or coerce as it was. Raw, emotional tales of hardship seemed to work better on Maddie.
She liked to have someone to save.
The story Jade had told Maddie was inspired. She wasn’t even sure where it had come from – maybe something she’d seen on telly. Jade’s mother was alive and well and living in Milton Keynes. Jade had seen her last week when she went over to celebrate her sister’s birthday.
Lucy had apparently fled back to Scotland to escape Jade’s fury, but was still sending Jade money every month because she was petrified that Jade would make good on her threat to post on social media the video she had managed to get of Lucy in bed with the headmaster of her school. Not just any video though; a filthy, disgusting, leaves a little bit of sick in your mouth kind of video. Lucy had moved back in with her parents because she couldn’t afford the blackmail payments on her small salary if she was living in London. Her leaving hadn’t been planned, but when Lucy had said she was going, Jade had been thrilled. Still paying her, but not on Jade’s doorstep begging for the footage anymore. Win, win.
But what Jade needed from Maddie wasn’t as simple as just money. Financial gains would be a nice bonus, of course, but that wasn’t the endgame. Not this time.
She splashed some water on her face and dried it with the towel lying on the bathroom floor, still damp from Jade’s bath earlier.
Ben would be back tomorrow, so she should do some tidying up, at least wash the dishes and make sure she had some baked beans in the cupboard. That was all he wanted to eat when he was at her house. Baked beans and those little pots of Petit Filous yoghurt.
Anger was still simmering in her stomach like indigestion. Bloody Maddie. Jade needed to put the next phase into action now. There had been times in the last few days when Maddie had got a little too close to the truth. And now Maddie was getting friendly with Luke, who’d proved troublesome with Lucy too.
Not great.
Jade stared at herself for a moment longer, then turned away.
*
Maddie heard the knock and thought about ignoring it. It could only be Jade again and she wasn’t up to any more melodrama for tonight. She had a banging headache and was already in her pyjamas, a pasta sauce bubbling on the stove and some downloaded episodes of Vera lined up and waiting.
It’s funny all the things she used to think she would achieve if she ever lived alone. The evening classes she would do – pottery, maybe drawing – or sports she would try. She used to be quite good with a hockey stick at school and could probably still hold her own on a netball court. But when it came down to it, what she really enjoyed doing was cooking something simple, opening a nice bottle of wine for one or two glasses and snuggling under her duvet in front of a box set.
She would never meet someone new if she hid under her duvet every weekend, but then, she didn’t think she was at the stage where she wanted to meet someone knew yet. Greg was still too raw a wound for her to consider anyone else. Besides, the thought of dating – all that effort to dress up, chat politely and agonise over whether he would call again – it just left her feeling tired. What she really wanted was to indulge in some self-care for a while. She deserved it.
Having said that, she’d really enjoyed spending time with Luke earlier. It had been relaxed, comfortable.
Even so, tonight called for self-care. Without the wine though – her head was thick already after the beer earlier – but she had a family-size bar of Dairy Milk in the fridge with her name on it.
The knock came again, then the letterbox clattered open and Jade’s eyes peered through the door. Maddie had taken to keeping the chain on all the time now.
‘Maddie?’
She would have to open the door. Jade could probably see her sitting on the couch.
She heaved to her feet, slid the chain back and opened the door. ‘Hey, feeling better?’
Jade looked better, still a little red-rimmed around the eyes, but more sheepish now and less likely to erupt in either fury or tears, thankfully.
‘I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I was being stupid.’ She pushed past Maddie and strode into the lounge without being invited.
‘Hey, no, it’s fine. I know you’re under pressure and it’s all very stressful for you, so don’t worry about it.’
‘Hmmm, something smells good.’ Her nose twitched like a rabbit as she looked towards the kitchen.
Not tonight, please. Maddie’s heart rate inched up at the thought of having to come up with a plausible excuse to not invite her to stay.
‘Oh, jus
t reheating a pasta sauce. I can feel a migraine coming on though, so I might just go straight to bed instead.’
‘Well, if you’re not going to eat it, I’ll have it. Rather than let it go to waste, you know…’
Maddie paused, looked at the pasta sauce and then back to Jade. Was she actually going to let Jade take her dinner off her? She was really looking forward to a large, steaming bowl of pasta.
‘Well, no, it’s not really going to waste. I’ll just have it tomorrow.’
‘Oh, right, sure,’ Jade said, her eyes dropping to the floor along with her lip. ‘Well, I just wanted to say sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.’ She turned to go, her shoulders slumping.
‘You’re not intruding, really, and there is no need to apologise. I understand.’
Jade sneezed suddenly, loud and eruptive. ‘Ugh, I’m struggling so much with hayfever at the moment.’
‘Really? At this time of the year? How odd.’
‘Yeah, I know! Must be the dust in this building or something, but I’m just so… you don’t happen to have any antihistamines, do you? I’m all out and if I don’t take something, I’ll be sneezing all night.’
‘Yeah, I have some in the bathroom. I’ll go get them.’
Maddie hurried into the bathroom, wanting only to get Jade out as quickly as possible. She opened the cabinet, found the box and pulled an entire sleeve of pills out. That should keep her going for a while.
When she returned to the lounge, Jade was in the kitchen.
‘I turned the sauce off. It was about to bubble over.’
Maddie frowned. The sauce had been on a low heat.
‘Thanks. Here you go – take the whole sleeve.’
‘Great, thanks.’ She had her hands tucked into her baggy hoodie as usual and took the pills from her with her sleeve, like she had cold fingers. She pocketed the pills and turned to go.
‘Great, um, thanks again,’ she said with a smile and rushed out.
Maddie closed the door and leant against it, exhaled, then reached over and drew the chain again.
11
Maddie knocked on Peggy Aitkens’ door gingerly. Luke’s words from last night echoed in her head and she’d spent most of the night wondering if she knew Jade at all and how cautious she should be of her. What had Luke said? Borderline bullying? Maddie had seen her kicking on the door all those weeks ago and the way Peggy flinched whenever she saw Jade.
She needed to put some distance between herself and Jade perhaps. There were too many things that didn’t quite fit right – the volatility; the manipulation; the spitefulness. She felt like she was being quietly bullied and manipulated, but was helpless to stop it. Not seeing her would mean not spending time with Ben though and that was like a physical pain when she thought about it.
She still had Jemima though. Greg had said she could be a part of her life.
‘Who is it?’ a voice said from behind the unopened door.
‘It’s Maddie – from across the hall? I just wanted to check on you, make you a cup of tea maybe?’ There was no response. ‘I have a Victoria sponge I need help eating too.’
The door opened on the chain and Peggy’s cataract-cloudy eyes peered through the gap.
The door closed again and the chain slid back.
‘Come in. Wipe your feet.’
Maddie closed the door behind her and followed Peggy into a cluttered and stiflingly warm lounge. A floral couch and two armchairs were arranged around a surprisingly up-to-date flat-screen television. Every surface was covered with china and crystal ornaments, each one sparkling and dust-free. The patio doors revealed a bright and colourful garden full of herbs, vegetables and rosebushes in a late stage of flowering.
Maddie held out the M&S Victoria sponge and said with a smile, ‘I’ll put the kettle on, shall I?’
She opened tidy cupboards in the kitchen and found a teapot and two china mugs, along with plates and cake forks. She stacked everything on a tray and carried it through to the coffee table in the lounge where Peggy sat in her slippers, looking out of the patio doors.
‘You have a lovely garden, Mrs Aitkens,’ Maddie said as she poured the tea.
‘Thank you. Not too much milk for me – and call me Peggy. I’m not your teacher.’
They sipped quietly for a moment. ‘Have you settled in alright then?’ Peggy asked.
‘Yes, thank you. Still have a few boxes to unpack, but I’m getting there. I would love a garden like that though – mine is just a patch of mud.’
‘It takes time, especially if you’re working.’
‘Oh, I don’t work. I’ve taken some time off – I’ve had some… personal issues.’
Peggy nodded sagely. ‘Then gardening might help with that. It helps to keep my fingers busy. The devil makes work for idle hands.’
‘That is true. I’m thinking of setting up my own business. I think it is time I got back into work.’
‘That’s what Luke upstairs does. Lovely man, he is.’
‘Yes, I’ve met him. He seems really nice. I’m going to be doing some work for him, actually.’
‘He’s a good lad, keeps an eye out for me. Got a caring heart, that one.’
The conversation lulled as Maddie cut into the cake and handed a plate to Peggy.
‘Do you have children, Peggy?’
‘No, never had them.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t either.’
‘You should do something about that. It gets a bit lonely when you get to my age.’
Maddie smiled. ‘I think my time for that has passed.’
‘You never know what lies around the corner, my dear.’
A clock ticked comfortingly. Maddie looked around at the bookcases lining the far wall. ‘I see you like to read?’
‘A lot of those are my late husband’s. I started reading them after he passed away – I wanted to know what had stolen him away from me for hours on end. They were like a string of mistresses. And now I’ve read them all, some of them twice. They’re my love affair now.’
‘Well, if you ever need me to pick up some books from the library for you – or even accompany you there – I’m happy to. I love the library. I took Ben there the other day. You know Ben from upstairs?’
‘The little boy? He’s a sweet little one, isn’t he? I can’t imagine why anyone would want to hurt them.’ She tutted and shook her head before scooping up the crumbs on her plate with the flat of her finger. It was a strange thing to say and Maddie was a little lost for a response, but Peggy continued, ‘You should be careful of that woman upstairs. I’m not one to gossip, but she’s vicious, that one.’
‘Does she give you a hard time, Peggy?’
Peggy looked uncomfortable. ‘I don’t want to speak ill of her behind her back.’
‘You’re not at all, but I’d rather know than not. The truth is I’ve been a bit concerned about her behaviour myself lately.’
‘I called the council on her once – a while ago – because I could smell marijuana coming from her flat. They didn’t find anything but she got a bit nasty after that. Started keeping me awake at night with her music, banging on the door in the early hours of the morning, that kind of thing. It stopped for a bit when Lucy and Luke moved in because they kept an eye out for me, but then Lucy moved away and every now and again, when I think it’s all over, she’ll do something just to remind me she’s there. Luke is good at keeping her in check though.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry.’
‘Oh, don’t worry yourself, dear. If I can live through Hitler, I can put up with the likes of her.’
‘But you shouldn’t have to!’
‘Aye, well, I just keep myself to myself.’ She drained her teacup. ‘The worst was when she smeared excrement all over my front door once. I don’t have any proof it was her, but someone had taken a baby’s nappy and rubbed it all over my door, the door handle, everywhere and then left the nappy on the mat.’
Maddie was horrified. How could anyone bully and torture
a little old woman like that?
She needed to have a word with Jade. This was unacceptable.
As if reading her mind, Peggy said, ‘I don’t want you getting involved though, my dear. She’s a nasty piece of work and you don’t need the aggravation. She gets bored quickly anyway. Like any bully, she’ll find someone else to pester if we ignore her. In fact, she’s left me alone for a bit, so maybe she’s already got bored with me.’
Maddie sat quietly, unease trickling through her.
She had a funny feeling that she was Jade’s new plaything now.
12
Greg heard the doorbell ring. Jemima was perched on his hip, his hair stood up in tufts from where Jemima had been pulling it and he had Little Mermaid stickers all over his cheek. Gemma had gone to a Sunday morning yoga class. She was still annoyed about the other day and his lengthy ‘gym’ outing. She’d been treating him to the silent treatment ever since, so a bit of space from her iciness was welcome. If he thought about how much he had enjoyed being with Maddie that day, compared to Gemma’s attitude last night throughout a frosty dinner before she stormed off to bed, he knew what he would prefer any day of the week. Maddie had made it clear it was a one-off, but he had to admit that didn’t sit right with him.
Let’s see though… who knows what could happen?
He loved these moments when it was just him and Jemima. Gemma had a way of making him feel completely inadequate, criticising him for the way he spoke to Jemima, not cutting up her grapes small enough, not putting the nappy cream on properly. Anything and everything could be like a red rag to the bull and then Gemma would be off on one, like she was the only person in the world who knew how to look after a baby.
But the truth was that Gemma wasn’t all that good at it herself and he was secure in the knowledge that although he may get the logistics wrong, he was nailing the cuddles and playtime. In fact, he was nailing the fatherhood thing full stop.
