by R B Hilliard
“What? You aren’t even going to speak to me?” she asked. Her exasperated tone made me pause and turn around.
“I’m sorry. How are you Marsha?”
“I’m good, Kurt. Thanks for asking.” She gave me a perplexed look, as if she wanted to say something, but was hesitant to do so.
Raising my brow, I asked, “Do you need something?” Whatever her issue was, I wanted her to spit it out, so I could go find my wife.
“Ummmm….can I talk to you for a second?” She shuffled her feet nervously across the floor.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” I told her.
“It’ll take just a second, I promise.” She scooted out the front door.
Fuck, I thought. This chick is up to no good. I stepped out the door after her and leaned my back against it. “Talk,” I ordered.
“I just wanted to say I think you made a mistake by not hiring me.”
This again? I fought the impulse to walk away and leave her standing there. “I’m sorry you feel that way. However, what’s done is done.” I made sure to look her in the eyes when I spoke. The finality in my voice could not be mistaken.
She narrowed her eyes, placed her hands on her hips and huffed. “You’re not going to change your mind, are you?”
“Nope. Now if that’s all, I need to get back to my wife.”
“What if I told your wife we were sleeping together?” she coyly asked.
I hesitated for a second to gather my thoughts. I wanted to blast her. I wanted to rip her devious little head off. Instead, I asked, “Are you threatening me?” The tone of my voice had her taking a step back. This twit of a little girl had no fucking clue who she was messing with.
“You’re giving me no choice. I want to work at Dragonfly and you want to keep your wife. It’s a win-win for both of us.” She acted as if this was a negotiation, not my marriage we were talking about.
I took a step toward her and she immediately stepped back. “Who the fuck do you think you are? You know nothing about me, yet you are standing here threatening me. Do it,” I said through gritted teeth. “I dare you.” Her eyes widened in surprise. I took another step forward. She tried to step back, but the wall prevented her from going anywhere. She gazed longingly over at the sidewalk and her freedom. I slapped a hand on the wall beside her face and leaned in. She flinched and turned her head, as if trying to get away from me. I placed my mouth next to her ear and whispered, “If you think for one second my wife would believe a pathetic, desperate little girl over me, you are batshit crazy.” Lifting my hand, I took a step back from her. Hatred poured from her eyes as she turned and glared at me. I wanted to laugh. Instead, I said, “Go home little girl.”
Normally, the sound of a woman crying would make me feel bad. Not in this case. As she made a move to bolt, I gave her a warning. “I better never see you in Dragonfly again. If I do, I will throw you out myself.” Deciding she’d had way more than she bargained for she took off running for her car.
Shaking my head in disgust, I stormed through the front and out to the back. Ellie, Piper and Cas were standing with Dillon and his friend Isabella. Joss, however, was not with them. It took me a minute to spot her walking across the lawn. She stopped on the back patio and stared off into the night.
Sucking in a breath, I grabbed a beer and headed in her direction. As I slipped up behind her, I folded her in my arms. She jumped and I smiled and kissed the back of her neck. “Didn’t mean to scare you,” I murmured in her ear. “You know you’re not supposed to be on your feet.”
In a wisp of a voice, she asked, “Can we please go home?”
Instantly, I knew something was wrong. I turned her to face me and could see tears in her eyes. “Is it the baby? Are you cramping?”
Staring down at her feet, she said, “No.”
One of the many things I love about my wife is her blunt honesty. She has no problem setting me straight. She also has no problem talking out issues with me. I always knew where I stood with her, except for now.
Stroking my fingers along her jaw, I tilted her chin and forced her to look up at me. “Baby, you’re going to have to give me more than this. What is it?” Tears spilled from her beautiful blue eyes and my heart squeezed tightly in my chest. Something was majorly wrong here and, until she told me what it was, I couldn’t fix it. “What happened? Did I miss something?”
Dropping her forehead to my chest, she said, “One of the many things they fail to tell you about pregnancy is how emotionally wacked baby hormones make you. I feel fat and unattractive, I’m hornier than I’ve ever been, and even though I know you would never cheat on me, I can’t get the image of you and that woman cozied up together on the front porch just now out of my head.”
Not able to help myself, I busted out laughing.
She lifted her head and the pain in her eyes shut me up.
“Josselyn, baby, I am not cheating on you.” I tried to hide my smile, but couldn’t.
“I saw you with her,” she whispered.
“Saw me doing what exactly?” I asked, making sure to keep my voice as level as possible.
“I saw you on the front porch with that woman. It looked like you were kissing her. I saw her run away crying.” She let out a sad sigh. “Look, I know this has been hard on you.”
“Enough,” I snapped. She clamped her mouth shut and stared at the ground. “The child you saw me with has been trying to get a job at Dragonfly for weeks now. She didn’t like it when Dillon and I turned her down, so she decided to show up tonight and attempt to blackmail me. She threatened to tell my wife we were sleeping together if I didn’t give her a job.”
Her eyes snapped to mine and bugged in shock. “You’re kidding?”
“Nope. What you saw was me setting her straight. Not only will she never work at Dragonfly, but I also let her know I’ll toss her out on her ass if she so much as steps foot through the door.”
Her forehead thonked against my chest. “My imagination was running wild,” she murmured.
Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her in for a hug. “I love you, Josselyn. I know this has been rough on you and I’m sorry. You know me and you know I would never cheat on you in a million years.”
She sniffled into my chest. “I know you wouldn’t. I am such a fat, hot mess right now and it’s only going to get worse.” My wife could be seriously funny. I let out a bark of laughter and, a few seconds later, she was laughing with me. Just like that, we were good again.
* * *
One Month Later…
“HEY, BABY. HOW did the appointment go?”
“We got the all clear. When will you be home? I have a surprise for you,” she seductively purred.
My dick was happy to hear this. Joss’ twelve week appointment was three days ago. Everything looked good, but the doctor told us we had to wait until the blood work came back before we could start having sex again. We were beyond frustrated. Over the past few weeks, Josselyn’s nausea had been replaced with hormones…wild, sex-crazed hormones…that neither of us could act on. The first week after the doctor told us to cool it, I pretended we were roommates. When I realized I was doing more harm than good by acting this way, I stopped. Joss explained how it made her feel better for me to complain about how much I wanted sex, than to act like an asexual ass-clown. We barely managed to make it through the month, but we did, and tonight was the night. The doctor had finally given the go ahead and I could not wait to get home to my wife.
“The gang just left and I’m about to call Dillon a cab. As soon as he leaves I’m shutting it down and coming home.”
“Why does D need a cab?” Joss asked.
I glanced over at Dillon, who was forlornly staring down at the bar. “It’s a long story that I will explain much later.”
Dillon and Isabella’s relationship was whacked. I didn’t know the whole story, but the bits and pieces I did know were tweaked. Dillon had broken it off with Isabella and didn’t want her around Dragonfly because he
r crazy ex was after her. Isabella got pissed at me and threatened to quit if I didn’t let her perform. I agreed, but regretted it when she vented all of her hurt and resentment on stage. Cas showed up to save the day, which pissed Dillon off to no end. Shortly after this, Isabella’s ex tried to run her over and Dillon decided he wanted her back. This all led up to tonight. Dillon took the stage in a surprise performance. I have to give the boy props, he sang his heart out. He even went so far as to tell Isabella, in front of everyone, he wanted to marry her. In the end, she turned him down. Max, Gage and I made him sit and have a few drinks with us after she ran out the door. In a show of sympathy, I over served him. The least I could do now was find him a ride home.
“Come home soon,” Joss sweetly said.
I hung up and pumped my fist in the air. I am getting laid tonight. Five minutes later, I pushed Dillon out the back to wait for the cab. Thirty minutes after that, I shut everything off, set the alarm and headed out the back door. As soon as I pulled the door closed behind me, I saw a body lying on the ground next to Dillon’s guitar. I didn’t recognize the guy, but I knew that guitar. Instantly, I searched the parking lot for Dillon. I found him down the steps and around the corner. He was face down in a pool of blood. Lying next to him was a second guy I’d never seen before.
I squatted down next to him and called his name, but he didn’t respond. Placing my fingers against his neck to feel for a pulse, I felt the thump, thump of his heartbeat and let out the breath I had been holding. Thank Jesus, he’s alive. Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out my phone and dialed 911, before calling Joss to tell her to meet me at the hospital. As soon as the paramedics arrived, I called Isabella. I waited until I was driving to the hospital to call Piper.
Joss was waiting for me when I arrived at the hospital. It took everything in me not to break down when I saw her standing at the emergency room entrance. She wrapped her arms around me and I fought back the tears. Dillon had become one of my best friends. He was also my partner. The thought of potentially losing him ripped me up inside.
Piper, Gage, Isabella and Sally showed shortly after I arrived. Max and Ellie weren’t far behind them. Eventually, Cas, Tut, Twon and Polly trickled in. After a lengthy wait, Isabella was finally called back to see Dillon. Half an hour later, she appeared and told us he was going to be okay. I almost collapsed in both exhaustion and relief. We ended up leaving my truck in the parking lot and driving Joss’ car home.
After a stiff drink and a scalding hot shower, I crashed beside my already sleeping wife. So much for a night of unforgettable sex.
Chapter Seven
Max
‡
ONCE I HAD Ellison secured next to me in the truck, I began waffling. I had never seen her this hurt or defeated before and it was all because of me. A barrage of questions raced through my head. Does she really think I was flirting with that woman? Has she lost all faith in me…in us? I stared at the side of Joss and Kurt’s house and tried to gather my thoughts. Finally, I gave up and said what was on my mind.
“I don’t even know where to begin.”
“How about the beginning?” she asked.
I started the truck and backed out of the driveway. Halfway down the street, I began talking. “From the minute Garrett told us Dooley was in Mexico and the baby shower was a go, I had a bad feeling in my gut. I knew how important the shower was to you. Even though I wanted to keep you at home with me, I couldn’t.” I slid my arm across the console, held out my open hand and waited. When she took it, I wrapped my fingers around hers and stared out at the road in front of us. Then I continued to try and explain how messed up my head had been lately. “I didn’t have to go to work that day. I could have put it off until Monday. None of this would have happened if I’d stayed at Joss and Kurt’s with you.” Her hand jerked in mine and I glanced over.
“Yes, I would have gone home with you, but Bobby would still have taken Piper and Reyn home. They still would have been kidnapped.” I started to interrupt, but she kept going, “And who knows what would have happened, Max? There’s a good chance Piper and Reyn both would be dead right now if things had gone differently that day.”
Glancing back at the road, I clenched and released my jaw a few times before responding. “If I had been there, though, you would not have almost died delivering our son.” Her head was turned away from me, so I couldn’t see if I was getting through to her or not. Needing for her to understand, I explained. “That room was like a scene from a horror movie, Ellison. Zeke and Reyn were on the floor, blood was…everywhere and you and Piper looked like characters from The Walking-Fucking-Dead. For as long as I live, I will never be able to erase that image from my brain. I watched our son being born under the worst possible circumstances. There were no contractions. There was no prep time. There was you unconscious and bleeding out while the doctor ripped our child from your body.”
Finally, she looked over at me. “I’m sorry you had to see that, truly I am, but what does that have to do with now? What does that have to do with you not wanting to touch me anymore? What does that have to do with what happened in bed the other night? Ever since Mac arrived, you’ve acted as if being with me is a chore, and when I get close to you, you physically cringe.” I shook my head in disagreement, but she ignored me. “The first time in months we are in an intimate situation, you act like a total ass and walk out on me! How do you think that makes me feel, Max? How would you feel? Once upon a time, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt you wanted me. Now, I doubt everything!” The pain in her words gutted me.
How do I make it make sense to her when it barely made sense to me? Hell, I was the one living it and even I couldn’t figure it out. I knew I had to try, or I would lose her for good. “I am sorry I left, baby. I didn’t know what else to do.” Her shoulders slumped and I pushed on. “When you first came home from the hospital, you were in pain. All I could focus on was taking care of you and Mac. Those first few weeks, I couldn’t have gotten my dick hard if you’d paid me. About three weeks into your recovery, Mac was acting extra cranky one afternoon. Nothing I did would settle him. Finally, out of frustration, I left him crying in his crib and came downstairs to get you. Right as I walked into the bedroom, you stepped out of the shower. All it took was one look at your gorgeous naked body…” I paused and shook my head. I should not be telling her this.
“Go on,” she encouraged.
“One second I was staring at your body and the next I was hauling ass to the guest bathroom with my hand down my pants. I remember how crazy out of control I felt. I hadn’t had a boner in weeks and suddenly I was hiding in the bathroom jacking my junk like a teenage boy. Out of the blue, the image of you on that filthy farmhouse floor covered waist down in blood flashed through my head. The next thing I knew, I was on my knees puking my guts into the toilet. I don’t know about you, but I consider that all kinds of fucked up. From that moment on, every time I so much as thought about sex, that image popped into my head and stopped me dead in my tracks.”
“Is that what happened the other night?” she quietly asked. “You saw that in your head when… I touched you?”
“Yes and no. You had been taunting me for nights with those skimpy outfits. Finally, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I had to either do something about it or I was going to lose my mind.”
“From where I was standing, it sounded as if you were handling it just fine,” she sarcastically quipped. I flicked her a questioning look and she elaborated. “Night three you slid out of bed and I followed you to the bathroom door. I heard you…in the bathroom.” The hurt in her voice made me feel like a giant piece of shit.
This was a delicate situation and I was only making it worse. As I pulled into the driveway, I turned off the ignition and let out a big sigh of frustration. “I suck ass at explaining my feelings, but I’m trying here, Ells.”
She slid her soft hand back into mine and gave a gentle squeeze. “I know you are. Please, keep going.”
“The o
ther night, I woke with a cock of steel and my wife touching me for the first time in months. It was like all of the pent up anxiety and worry I’d been feeling since the day you were kidnapped came to a head at that exact moment in time and, instead of rolling with it, I let it spew out in anger. I was furious I could get hard for you. I could enjoy the pleasure of your hand in my sleep, but couldn’t get there when I was awake. I was frustrated because I was making you feel as if I didn’t want you anymore, when you are all I want. I was disgusted that my mind and my body kept fucking with me. It was as if, finally, out of sheer desperation, my mind shut off and finally let my body take over.”
“Wow, that’s a lot to process,” Ellie said. “The last thing I want to do is to make you angry, Max. I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do. I just wanted…no, I needed for you to see me as a woman again.”
I banged my head against the back of the seat in frustration. “Ellison, all I see is you. I see your much too thin, but still gorgeously sexy body. I see your love filled golden eyes and…”
“But that’s not all you see,” she interrupted.
I shook my head.
“Why in the world didn’t you tell me all of this?” The exasperation in her voice cut me to the quick.
“Dr. Parker calls it a form of trauma or Post Traumatic Stress,” I explained. “For some reason, intimacy with you is triggering the memory of watching you and Mac almost die that day.”
“Is there a cure?”
“He says talking about it with you is a first step. The second is taking things slowly.”
She gave me an eyebrow raise. “Things?”
“Sex,” I answered. Before she could say anything, I jumped in. “Look, Ellison, I don’t like this anymore than you do. I want to be with you. I want to touch you. I just….Fuck!” I slammed my hands on the steering wheel in frustration.
“Hey,” she grabbed my hand back, “I’m glad you are finally explaining this to me. Does Dr. Parker think we can get past this?”
