The woman spun around and faced me. She was wearing a black turtleneck sweater, black leather jacket, black gloves, and black pants tucked into black boots. Hardly the right fashion choice to say she was just in the neighborhood and stopped by.
"You took Rex?" I asked through gritted teeth. "Where is he? If you've hurt him, I'm going to kill you and make sure the body is never, ever found."
Juliette shook her head furiously. "I didn't take him! I thought you'd killed him! That's why I came over here! To find proof so I could have you arrested!"
The thought of Officer Kevin Dooley showing up to arrest me, his hand arm deep in a box of Twinkies, although amusing, would take forever.
"Why"—I threw my arms in the air—"would I kill Rex?"
"Because you didn't love him!" Juliette shrieked.
"If I didn't love him, I'd just call off the wedding," I replied. "Why kill him? That doesn't make sense."
"You wanted his house!" She bit her lip, her voice a little less shrieky.
"I have a house! Across the street!" This was getting tiresome. "You really thought I was responsible for his disappearance?"
She nodded, but it lacked confidence.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because you found out he loves me." Big, watery tears rolled down her face.
I kind of felt sorry for her.
"If he told me he loved you and not me, I wouldn't stand in his way. I want him to be happy." This might've been a bit of a lie, but there wasn't any point in being mean to her. The woman, Satan or not, was suffering.
She snapped, defiantly, "Are you going to have me arrested?"
The idea of Kevin throwing the cuffs on her was tempting.
"No. I would like to know how you got in here though."
Juliette handed me a key.
"Where did you get this?" I turned it over in the light. It was a key to this house alright.
"Ronni," was all she said.
I was going to have to have a little chat with my future sisters-in-law.
"Get out," I said as I rubbed my eyes. "It's late, and I'm too tired to kill you."
She had a look on her face that implied she'd come back in a few hours, once I was fast asleep.
"If I come over here again tonight," I threatened, "I will do something you'll regret."
It was difficult to understand if she believed me. But the speed with which she fled gave me some inkling that she was done for the night. I walked through the bedrooms, closing drawers and picking up the things Juliette had tossed on the floor.
I lingered for a moment in the entryway before leaving and locking the door behind me. I was too tired to think straight. Juliette's break-in left me confused and conflicted.
Back in my bed, with Leonard curled up on the floor and the cats next to me, I wondered what to do with Juliette Dowd. Either she was holding Rex hostage and came over to steal something, or she genuinely thought I had something to do with his disappearance. Either way, it was too weird to be ignored.
* * *
"What are you doing?" Kelly tapped on my car window several hours later.
I unlocked the door and let her in. "I'm surveilling Juliette Dowd."
Kelly looked around the neighborhood that was across the street from the hospital, where she worked.
"Why?"
I glared at her through red eyes. "She broke into Rex's house last night. It's possible she's behind his disappearance." I pointed at a small white ranch house two doors down from where I was parked. "That's her house."
"How did you find out where she lived?" Kelly asked. She seemed slightly appalled.
I shrugged. "Freedom of Information Act." She started to speak, but I continued, "That and a friend at Langley got it for me." I was going to owe Ahmed more cookies in a month, but it was worth it.
Kelly rolled her eyes. "You seriously think she's got Rex in there?"
I shook my head, "No. I've already been inside. I think she has him stashed somewhere else."
My best friend's jaw dropped. "You broke in and looked around her house?"
"Well, duh. How else was I going to find him? My X-ray imaging device is broken."
"What's this?" She took my cell from me. "Poisonous snakes of Iowa?"
I looked at her through bleary, sleep-deprived eyes. "It's always good to have a plan B."
She closed the window on my cell and handed it back to me. "Merry." She sighed. "Go home. Get some sleep. Ted and Soo Jin are on this."
I narrowed my eyes. "Yeah. I was thinking about that. Thought I'd pay a visit to Vy Todd this afternoon."
"You can't do that!"
"Of course I can. It's a free country, and I know where she lives." Oddly, Ahmed was able to get me the smuggler's address before the Girl Scout employee's. "I have the perfect cover—selling Girl Scout Cookies."
"I'm not going to let you do that," Kelly said. "Look at you! You're exhausted, haven't slept, and are stalking people. You need some rest."
I shook my head. "I don't have time. Who knows what kind of place they have Rex locked up in! Maybe there's no heat! Or no food! I have to do what I can!"
"Merry." Uh-oh. Kelly was using her menacing nurse voice. "I'm going to follow you back to your house, and I'm calling your parents." She got out of the car and closed the door. "Now, drive!" she shouted through the window.
She was going to rat me out to my parents? That was a low blow. Kelly never did anything like that when we were kids. Why start now? As for the snakes, she was too late. I'd already placed an order for a timber rattlesnake.
I was so mad, I drove all over town before finally pulling into my driveway. She had to go to work and would be late, which was more than a little mean of me, but I was too spent to care. Mom opened the door when we pulled in. Dad was right behind her, looking worried.
Once Kelly marched me inside, she told my parents everything, which I thought was a bit unnecessary, and left.
Mom didn't say much as she marched me down to my room. She checked the windows to make sure they were locked before forcing me to get into bed. I did what I was told, because my new captors had to let their guard down sometime. I just needed to wait…
* * *
"Good morning, kiddo!" Mom's cheerful voice roused me as she flung open the curtains of my bedroom.
"What the…" I mumbled as I avoided opening my eyes. My head was pounding, and my mouth was dry.
"Wait…" I said as my eyes flew open. "Morning?"
My mother nodded. "You slept for twenty-four hours!"
"What? How?" I rarely got more than seven hours and two minutes' worth of sleep. I don't know why that number, but that amount of time was all I needed.
She looked sheepish. "I might have drugged you. A bit."
I sat straight up, causing the pounding in my head to turn to all-out thunder. "Drugged me?"
Mom shrugged. "I found this bottle among your old spy stuff in the basement." She held up a bottle of Rohypnol.
Dammit! I was saving that! "You roofied me? You could've killed me!"
She laughed. "I highly doubt it. I figured out just the right amount."
"Dad!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.
Senator Mike Czrygy popped his head in with a jovial grin. "Can I make you breakfast?"
"Mom drugged me! She drugged me!" I howled.
Dad came over and sat down on the bed, patting my hand. "It's alright, munchkin. We thought it would help."
My parents were going through my dangerous spy stuff, came across a bottle of capsules, and doped me with it? How? I didn't remember eating or drinking anything yesterday.
"Kelly came over with some sedatives after her shift," Mom said brightly. "She cleared whatever was in there. Said you'd have a headache though."
My jaw dropped open. "I can't believe the three of you drugged me!"
"Well, you were emotionally and physically wiped out and kept referring to ordering snake venom. We thought some sleep would give you a fresh start when you woke up,"
Dad explained.
Mom nodded. "We didn't think you'd be out for an entire day, but that was an added bonus."
Dad got up and nodded to Mom. "Chocolate chip pancakes and bacon will be up in a few minutes. Take your time." And with that, they both left.
It took me a few minutes to recover from the shock that my parents and best friend gave me drugs without asking me. I staggered out of bed and into the shower. After ten minutes, I felt a little better. Soon I was dressed and at the breakfast bar, where my parents, dog, and cats were.
Leonard was eating from a bowl of kibbles on the floor, and the cats stared at the bacon expectantly. I covered the plate with a cloth napkin. Philby loved meat of any kind. And that included bacon. Once, she was so mad that we hadn't given her any, she walked slowly over the strips, making sure her paw hit each one. She then sat on the other side and waited for us to give her the bacon. For the record, I didn't want to, but Rex declared the plate a health hazard.
The smell of the food was too much, and I succumbed to eight pancakes and six strips of bacon before I found the power to talk.
"What's going on with the case? Is there any news? Has Rex appeared?" I thought this unlikely or he'd be here, arresting my parents for doping me.
Mom held up her hands. "Nothing yet, but Officers Weir and Dooley should be here any moment to brief us."
That sounded sort of promising. If there was going to be a briefing, that meant they knew something, right? I was so encouraged, I ate five more pancakes. You should never investigate on an empty stomach. Once, in Japan, I'd skipped two meals during a surveillance and had to go with the closest thing, which was raw squid from a street vendor. I'd never been that sick before or after, and the guy I was following got away.
"I'm glad we're here for you, but," Mom said, "are we in the way? We could go to the hotel."
Hmmm…that might stop them from drugging me whenever they want.
"That's a good idea. You can go to the hotel once Ted and Kevin leave."
Dad was petting Leonard, who looked at him as if he were his best friend in the world…or a steak with hands. It was hard to tell which. "Okay. I need to make a number of calls for work. I'll let my staff know I'm going to be here awhile."
"I don't want you to upend your life," was what I tried to say, but with a mouthful of pancakes, it came out as "mvxhrthygrth."
"Nonsense," Mom sat down next to me. It didn't surprise me in the least that she understood me. "But we will check into the Radisson if that's what you want. What are your plans for the day?"
"I thought I'd launch a campaign of intimidation and pain until I find my fiancé," I said. Plus I had a poisonous snakey package to track online.
"Well," Dad said. "Don't leave us out of all the fun."
There was a knock at the door, and Leonard barked. He'd started doing that a few weeks ago. As a big Scottish deerhound, he'd suddenly decided that he was protecting us. I was pretty sure he would run away from a menacing butterfly, but the appearance was what was important.
Dad answered the door and returned with Ted and Kevin. To my complete surprise, Officer Dooley wasn't eating. And his uniform wasn't stained with the usual cheese puff dust or powdered sugar.
It felt like I was in an alternate universe.
"Ms. Wrath," Ted said as he shook my hand.
"Please," I insisted. "It's Merry." I shot a look at Kevin to let him know he did not have the same privilege.
"Okay." Ted smiled. "Merry. We've checked out Harvey Oak. He's got a rock-solid alibi. Says he was at a biker rally for the past two days in Boone."
"A biker rally? In January?" I might have sounded a tad sarcastic. "Seems unlikely. I'll bet his biker brothers covered for him."
Ted went on as if I'd said nothing. "And Prescott Winters III claims he was in Winterset for a Covered Bridge Festival."
I shook my head. "That's in the summer." Winterset wasn't far away, and I'd attended the festival last summer with my troop.
"And Vy Todd is unavailable right now." He closed his notepad and looked at me.
"Which means…"
"That we can't find her," Ted Weir answered. "But that doesn't mean she's involved."
I had such high hopes for Officer Weir, but now it seemed that his detection skills were sorely lacking. What did I expect? He was a kid fresh out of the academy. He didn't have the kind of experience that Rex had.
Kevin was openly drooling as he eyed the chocolate chip pancakes. My mother smiled and offered him a plate. I'd never seen someone sit down so fast. Philby waited until he uncovered the bacon then pounced, landing full on the plate. Her victory was short lived. Kevin just shoved her aside, took four strips of bacon, and ate them.
Should I tell them about Juliette Dowd's break-in last…oh wait, two nights ago? I decided not to. She'd just tell them she was at the beach in Des Moines, and these two would believe it. No, I'd keep an eye on her myself.
And I'd go see Riley. He was supposed to see if any of my enemies were in play. It was possible this was an attack from someone who wanted to get back at me. As soon as I could ditch these two and send the folks to the hotel, I'd head over there.
"Good job, guys," I said without a trace of sarcasm. "What's the next move?"
Ted frowned. "I guess I'll run down those alibis."
Kevin looked up at us with a fistful of bacon seasoned with cat hair and shrugged.
The brain trust was obviously on it.
"Sounds good," I said. "I think I'll head over to Ferguson Taxidermy and see if Rex's family has heard anything."
Everyone liked this idea because, presumably, it kept me out of trouble. Little did they know that when it came to Rex, I'd be chasing trouble to the ends of the earth. Ted shook my hand, and after four attempts to get Kevin up from the breakfast bar, the two men left.
"Do you need me to go with you to see the twins?" Mom asked. She'd already cleaned up almost everything.
Philby was glaring at the remaining bacon as if attempting to use the Force to make it fly into his mouth.
Without missing a beat, Mom broke one strip in half and handed each to the cats before throwing the rest in the garbage. Leonard almost had a stroke. I bet I'd be coming home to garbage all over the floor.
"No thanks." I smiled. "I think I've got this."
I needed to do this alone. There was one twin I needed to talk to about handing out keys to my future house to angry redheads who hated me.
CHAPTER SEVEN
"Merry!" Randi dropped the peacock head she'd been carrying and threw her arms around me. "How are you holding up? Isn't this awful?" She released me and patted my arm. "I'm sure Rexley is okay."
Rexley was Rex's real name. He hadn't told me (and made me stop saying it after I spent three days calling him Rexley). The twins had told me about his real name. He wasn't happy about that, nor my idea that we get tattoos with each other's names. What he didn't know was that I had registered everything on our honeymoon, from the hotel to the scuba diving, under Rexley.
I felt a pang of remorse. It seemed wrong making fun of him when he wasn't here to get annoyed. A lingering ache in my gut had been growing since the moment he went missing. Where was he?
"You haven't heard anything?" I wasn't too surprised. Even though we'd used their place as a headquarters, I was pretty sure that with my connections, I'd be the first to find him.
The short, pleasantly plump woman shook her head. "I'm so sorry."
An awkward silence hung heavy in the air between us. Which was really saying something, since right next to me was a remote controlled llama on wheels, who wore a blanket that said Rex & Merry 4-Ever! The twins had planned to use it at our reception. It was one of the few taxidermied things I was looking forward to.
I looked around the shop. "Is Ronni here? I need to talk to her about something."
Randi hesitated. "You want to talk to her?" She looked me up and down, no doubt checking for weapons. I wanted to tell her that the dislike was one-sided and I bo
re Ronni no ill will, but that wasn't exactly accurate since the woman had given Juliette a key to Rex's house and told her I'd kidnapped him.
"Yup," I said. "I ran into someone a couple of days ago in Rex's house. Turns out your twin gave her the key."
There was a flash of dark hair in the doorway. As if Ronni had heard me and jumped back to hide.
The nice twin frowned—for maybe the first time since I'd met her. "Ronni gave someone a key to Rexley's house? I didn't even know we had a key, or I'd have surprised him with something."
She waved to the dioramas that surrounded us.
"Ronni?" she called out.
There was no response, but I saw a clump of dark, unruly hair sticking out of the doorway.
"Ronni? Could you come here please?" She urged in a sugary tone. I'd be willing to bet that Randi cowed her sister with niceties to get her to do stuff.
"I'm busy," came the response from the doorway. "In the basement."
"You are?" Randi asked. "You sound really close."
The voice snapped, "Insanely busy! Trying to finish that order of ring-tailed lemurs for the Norwegians!"
"Oh." Randi sounded disappointed. "Well, if you're too busy…"
I'd had enough of this nonsense.
"You're in the doorway," I called out. "I can actually see you."
The clump of hair vanished. "No, I'm not."
I stomped over there and dragged her into the room where her sister stood, mouth open.
"Did you have a key to Rex's?" Randi asked. She looked worried that I would do something to her twin.
Ronni looked down at the dead stuffed chicken in her arms and started stroking its head. "No."
I was just about to grab two weasels fencing in a duel and use them as a torture device, when Randi looked over her glasses at her sister.
"Ronni?" she asked expectantly.
I waited, armed weasels in hand, to see if she could get her twin to talk.
"Fine!" The petite woman threw her arms up in the air and rolled her eyes. "I made a copy. What's wrong with that?"
"Well," I said evenly. "It's breaking and entering if your brother didn't give you a key."
Ronni glared at the two of us as she started to crush the chicken in her hands. Good thing it was already dead.
Marriage Vow Murder Page 5
