The stillness of Elas had seeped into his bones this night, a timeless and now fleeting time which made all the world quiet. He had striven against it. Tonight, he listened.
"The song would mean nothing to you," Kta said. "I can't sing it in human words."
"Try," said Kurt.
The nemet shrugged, gave a pained smile, gathered up the aos and ran his fingers over the sensitive strings, calling forth the same melody. For a moment he seemed lost, but the melody grew, rebuilt itself in all its complexity.
"It is our beginning," said Kta, and spoke softly, not looking at Kurt, his fingers moving on the strings like a whisper of wind, as if that was necessary for his thoughts.
There was water. From the sea came the nine spirits of the elements, and greatest were Ygr the earthly and Ib the celestial. From Ygr and Ib came a thousand years of begettings and chaos and wars of elements, until Qas who was light and Mur who was darkness, persuaded their brother-gods Phan the sun and Thael the earth to part.
So formed the first order. But Thael loved Phan's sister Ti, and took her. Phan in his anger killed Thael, and of Thael's ribs was the earth. Ti bore dead Thael a son, Aem.
Ten times a thousand years came and passed away.
Aem came to his age, and Ti saw her son was fair.
They sinned the great sin. Of this sin came Yr,
Yr, earth-snake, mother of all beasts.
The council of gods in heaven made Aem and Ti to die,
and dying, they brought forth children, man and woman.
"I have never tried to think it hi human terms," said Kta, frowning. "It is very hard."
But with a gesture Kurt urged him, and Kta touched the strings again, trying, greatly frustrated.
"The first mortal beings were Nem and Panet, man and woman, twins. They sinned the great sin too. The council of gods rejected them for immortality because of it, and made their lives short. Phan especially hated them, and he mated with Yr the snake, and brought beasts and terrible things into the world to hunt man.
Then Phan's sister Qas defied his anger,
stole fire, rained down lightning on the earth.
Men took fire and killed Yr's beasts, built cities.
Ten times a thousand years came and passed away.
Men grew many and kings grew proud,
sons of men and Yr the earth-snake,
sons of men and inim that ride the winds.
Men worshiped these half-men, the god-kings.
Men did them honor, built them cities.
Men forgot the first gods,
and men's works were foul.
"Then a prophecy came," said Kta, "and Phan chose Isoi, a mortal woman, and gave her a half-god son, Qavur, who carried the weapons of Phan to destroy the world by burning. Qavur destroyed the god-kings, but Isoi his mother begged him not to kill the rest of man, and he didn't. Then Phan with his sword of plague came down and destroyed all men, but when he came to Isoi she ran to her hearthfire and sat down beside it, so that she claimed the gods' protection. Her tears made Phan pity her. He gave her another son, Isem, who was husband of Nae the sea-goddess and father of all men who sail on the sea. But Phan took Qavur to be immortal; he is the star that shines in morning, the messenger of the sun.
"To keep Nae's children from doing wrong, Phan gave Qavur the yhia to take to men. All law comes from it. From it we know our place in the universe. Anything higher is gods' law, but that is beyond the words of the song. The song is the Ind. It is sacred to us. My father taught it to me, and the seven verses of it that are only for Elas. So it has come to us in each generation."
"You said once," said Kurt, "that you didn't know whether I was man or not. Have you decided yet?"
Kta thoughtfully laid aside the aos, stilled its strings. "Perhaps, said Kta, "some of the children of Nem escaped, the plague; but you are not nemet. Perhaps instead you are descended of Yr, and you were set out among the stars on some world of Thael's kindred. From what I have heard among humans, the earth seems to have had many brothers. But I don't think you think so."
"I said nothing."
"Your look did not agree."
"I wouldn't distress you," said Kurt, "by saying I consider you human."
The nemet's lips opened instantly, his eyes mirroring shock. Then he looked as if he suspected Kurt of some levity, and again, as if he feared he was serious. Slowly his expression took on a certain thoughtfulness, and he made a gesture of rejection.
"Please," said Kta, "don't say that freely."
Kurt bowed his head then in respect to Kta, for the nemet truly looked frightened.
"I have spoken to the Guardians of Elas for you," said Kta. "You are a disturbance here, but I do not feel that you are unwelcome with our Ancestors."
Kurt dressed carefully on the last morning. He would have worn the clothes in which he had come, but Mim had taken those away, unworthy, she had said, of the guest of Elas. Instead he had an array of fine clothing he thought must be Kta's, and on this morning he chose the warmest and most durable, for he did not know" what the day might bring him, and the night winds were chill. It was also cold in the rooms of the Afen, and he feared he would not leave it once he entered.
Elas again began to seem distant to him, and the sterile modernity of the center of the Afen increasingly crowded in on his thoughts, the remembrance that, whatever had happened in Elas, his business was with Djan and not with the nemet.
He had chosen his option at the beginning of the two weeks, in the form of a small dragon-hilted blade from among Kta's papers, where it had been gathering dust and would not be missed.
He drew it now from its hiding place and considered it, apt either for Djan or for himself.
And fatally traceable to the house of Elas.
It did not go within his clothing, as he had always meant to carry it. Instead he laid it aside on the dressing table. It would go back to Kta. The nemet would be angry at the theft, but it would make amends, all the same.
Kurt finished dressing, fastening the ctan, the outer cloak, on his shoulder, and chose a bronze pin with which to do it, for his debts to Elas were enough; he would not use the ones of silver and gold with which he had been provided.
A light tapping came at the door, Mim's knock.
"Come in," he bade her, and she quietly did so. Linens were changed daily throughout the house. She carried fresh ones, for bed and for bath, and she bowed to him before she set them down to begin her work. Of late there was no longer hate in Mim's look. He understood that she had had cause, having been prisoner of the Tamurlin; but she had ceased her war with him of her own accord, and in consideration of that he always tried especially to please Mim.
"At least," he observed, "you will have less washing in the house hereafter."
She did not appreciate the poor humor. She looked at him, then lowered her eyes and turned around to tend her business.
And froze, with her back to him, facing the dresser. Hesitantly she reached for the knife, snatched at it and faced about again as if uncertain that he would not pounce on her. Her dark eyes were large with terror; her attitude was that of one determined to resist if he attempted to take it from her.
"Lord Kta did not give you this," she said.
"No," he said, "but you may give it back to him."
She clasped it in both hands and continued to stare at him. "If you bring a weapon into the Afen you kill us, Kurt-ifhan. All Elas would die."
"I have given it back," he said. "I am not armed, Mim. That is the truth."
She slipped it into the belt beneath her overskirt, 'through one of the four slits that exposed the filmy pelan from waist to toe, patted it flat. She was so small a woman; she had a tiny waist, a slender neck accentuated by the way she wore her hair in many tiny braids coiled and clustered above the ears. So little a creature, so soft-spoken, and yet he was continually in awe of Mim, feeling her disapproval of him in every line of her stiff little back.
For once, as in the rhmei that ni
ght, there was something like distress, even tenderness in the way she looked at him.
"Kta wishes you come back to Elas," she said.
"I doubt I will be allowed to," he said.
"Then why would the Methi send you here?"
"I don't know. Perhaps to satisfy Kta for a time. Perhaps so I'll find the Afen the worse by comparison."
"Kta will not let harm come to you."
"Kta had better stay out of it. Tell him so, Mim. He could make the Methi his enemy that way. He had better forget it."
He was afraid. He had lived with that nagging fear from the beginning, and now that Mim touched nerves, he found it difficult to speak with the calm that the nemet called dignity. The unsteadiness of his voice made him greatly ashamed.
And Mim's eyes inexplicably filled with tears-fierce little Mim, unhuman Mim, who would have been interestingly female to Kurt but for her alien face. He did not know if any other being would ever care enough to cry over him, and suddenly leaving Elas was unbearable.
He took her slim golden hands in his, knew at once he should not have, for she was nemet and she shivered at the very touch of him. But she looked up at him and did not show offense. Her hands pressed his very gently in return.
"Kurt-ifhan," she said, "I will tell lord Kta what you say, because it is good advice. But I don't think he will listen to me. Elas will speak for you. I am sure of it. The Methi has listened before to Elas. She knows that we speak with the power of the Families. Please go to breakfast. I have made you late. I am sorry."
He nodded and started to the door, looked back again. "Mim," he said, because he wanted her to look up. He wanted her face to think of, as he wanted everything in Elas fixed in his mind. But then he was embarrassed, for he could think of nothing to say.
"Thank you," he murmured, and quickly left.
IV
All the way to the Afen, Kurt had balanced his chances of rounding on his three nemet guards and making good his escape. The streets of Nephane were twisting and torturous, and if he could remain free until dark, he thought, he might possibly find a way out into the fields and forests.
But Nym himself had given him into the hands of the guards and evidently charged them to treat him well, for they showed him the greatest courtesy. Elas continued to support him, and for the sake of Elas, he dared not do what his own instincts screamed to do: to run, to kill if need be.
They passed into the cold halls of the Afen itself and it was too late. The stairs led them up to the third level, that of the Methi.
Djan waited for him alone in the modern hall, wearing the modest chatem and pelan of a nemet lady, her auburn hair braided at the crown of her head, laced with gold.
She dismissed the guards, then turned to him. It was strange, as she had foretold, to see a human face after so long among the nemet. He began to understand what it had been for her, alone, slipping gradually from human reality into nemet. He noticed things about human faces he had never seen before, how curiously level the planes of the face, how pale her eyes, how metal-bright her hair. The war, the enmity between them, even these seemed for the moment welcome, part of a familiar frame of reference. Elas faded in this place of metal and synthetics.
He fought it back into focus.
"Welcome back," she greeted him, and sank into the nearest chair, gestured him welcome to the other. "Elas wants you," she advised him then. "I am impressed."
"And I," he said, "would like to go back to Elas."
"I did not promise that," she said. "But your presence there has not proved particularly troublesome." She rose again abruptly, went to the cabinet against the near wall, opened it. "Care for a drink, Mr. Morgan?"
"Anything," he said, "thank you."
She poured them each a little glass and brought one to him. It was telise. She sat down again, leaned back and sipped at her own. "Let me make a few points clear to you," she said. "First, this is my city; I intend it should remain so. Second, this is a nemet city, and that will remain so too, Our species has had its chance. It's finished. We've done it. Pylos, my world Aeolus-both cinders. It's insane. I spent these last months waiting to die for not following orders, wondering what would become of the nemet when the probe ship returned with the authority and the firepower to deal
with me. So I don't mourn them much. I...regret Aeolus. But your intervention was timely, for the nemet. Which does not mean," she added, "that I have overwhelming gratitude to you."
"It does not make sense," he said, "that we two should carry on the war here. There's nothing either of us can win."
"Is it required," she asked, "that a war make sense? Consider ours: we've been at it two thousand years. Probably everything your side and mine says about its beginning is a lie. That hardly matters. There's only the now, and the war feeds on its own casualties. And we approach our natural limits. We started out destroying ships in one little system, now we destroy worlds. Worlds. We leave dead space behind us. We count casualties by zones. We Hanan-we never were as numerous or as prolific as you-we can't produce soldiers fast enough to replace the dead. Embryonics, lab-born soldiers, engineered officers, engineered followers-our last hope. And you killed it. I will tell you, my friend, something I would be willing to wager your Alliance never told you: you just stepped up the war by what you did at Aeolus. I think you made a great miscalculation."
"Meaning what?"
"Aeolus was the center, the great center of the embryonics projects. Billions died hi its laboratories. The workers, the facilities, the records-irreplaceable. You have hurt us too much. The Hanan will cease to restrict targets altogether now. The final insanity, that is what I fear you.have loosed on humanity. And we richly deserve it, the whole human race."
"I don't think," he said, for she disturbed his peace of mind, "that you enjoy isolation half as much as you pretend."
"I am Aeolid," she said. "Think about it."
It took a moment. Then the realization set in, and revulsion, gut-deep: of all things Hanan that he loathed, the labs were the most hateful.
Djan smiled. "Oh, I'm human, of human cells. And superior-I would have been destroyed otherwise-efficiently engineered for intelligence and trained to serve the state. My intelligence then advised me that I was being used, and I disliked it. So I found my moment and turned on the state." She finished the drink and set it aside. "But you wouldn't like separation from humanity. Good. That may keep you from trying to cut my throat."
"Am I free to leave, then?"
"Not so easily, not so easily. I had considered perhaps giving you quarters in the Afen. There are rooms upstairs, only accessible from here. In such isolation you could do no possible harm. Instinct-something-says that would be the best way to dispose of you."
"Please," he said, rationally, shamelessly, for he had long since made up his mind that he had nothing to gain in Nephane by antagonizing Djan.."If Elas will have me, let me go back there."
"In a few days I will consider that. I only want you to know your alternatives."
"And what until then?"
"You're going to learn the nemet language. I have things all ready for you."
"No," he said instantly. "No. I don't need any mechanical helps."
"I am a medic, among other things. I've never known the teaching apparatus abused without it doing permanent damage. No. Ruining the mind of the only other human would be a waste. I shall merely allow you access to the apparatus and you may choose your own rate."
"Then why do you insist?"
"Because your objection creates an unnecessary problem for you, which I insist be solved. I am giving you a chance to live outside. So I make it a fair chance, an honest chance; I wish you success. I no longer serve the purposes of the Hanan, so I refuse to be programmed into a course of action I do not choose. And likewise, if it becomes clear to me that you are becoming a nuisance to me, don't think you can plead ignorance and evade the consequences. I am removing your excuses, you see. And if I must, I will call you in or kill you. Don't
doubt it for a moment."
"It is," he said, "a fairer attitude than I would have expected of you. I would be easier in my mind if I understood you."
"All my motives are selfish," she said. "At least in the sense that all I do serves my own purposes. If I once perceive you are working against those purposes, you are done. If I perceive that you are compatible with them, you will find no difficulty. I think that is as clear as I can make it, Mr. Morgan." Kta was not in the rhmei as Kurt had expected him to be when he reached the safety of Elas. Hef was, and Mim. Mini scurried upstairs ahead of him to open the window and air the room, and she spun about again when she had done so, her dark eyes shining.
C J Cherryh - Brothers of Earth Page 4
