“Here you go.” I said, kneeling down beside her on the ground.
Her blonde hair was pulled back into a messy up-do, the loose strands of hair framing her gorgeous face, but keeping it from hiding her beautiful eyes. She wore faded jeans that were ripped at the knees, with an old college shirt that showed off her perfect curves. She may be digging up mud and getting her hands dirty, but she still looked awesome.
“Thank you darlin’.” She said before sighing, the southern twang in her voice raspy from the humid air. “No Tate?” She asked, not once taking her eyes from the ground as she carried on making holes for the lavender to be placed in. She knew he wouldn’t come, but she still asked every time.
“I’m sorry.” I could only apologize for him. I had no idea why Tate stayed away from mom’s. He would only come around on the holidays, and even then it was only because I forced him. It was like he didn’t want to acknowledge mom. I hated having to watch the disappointment flash before her eyes. I have no idea what goes through that head of his sometimes.
“It’s okay.” She muttered, clearly upset. “So, how is school?” She asked, swiftly changing the subject.
“Interesting.” I replied, watching as she placed a small lavender tree into one of the holes she had dug.
“Oh, how so?” Oh, shit. My answer had clearly caught mom’s interest, and she was using her ‘discreet’ way of finding out what we were up to. I wasn’t falling for it.
“Oh nothing much, I met a couple of guys, had hot and dirty sex on the football field with Coach Carter, got drunk on beer and whiskey and bet fifty bucks that I could become pregnant before the week is out …” I trailed off.
“Neva James!” She shrieked, dropping her spade and whipping her head around into my direction. The shocked look on her face was so dramatic that I couldn’t hold the laugh that was ready to escape my mouth.
“I’m sorry, but that was just too easy!” I said, gasping for air between laughing so hard at my mom’s reaction.
“That wasn’t nice, Neva.” She scolded, desperately trying to keep a straight face before giving in and laughing along with me, holding her stomach as she chuckled. “You know I worry about you guys.” She said as she pulled me in for a hug, the sincerity in her voice disarming.
“I know.” I mumbled, understanding her need to protect us. We were all she had left, and when Tate doesn’t show up … It hits her hard.
“Come on, I made lemonade.” She said, pulling me up from the ground, her hand wrapped within mine as we walked through the patio doors and into the house.
Stepping straight into the kitchen from the back yard, the room quickly cooled my skin from the humid air outside. Toeing my boots off at the door, I smiled as I watched mom put her apron on. A grin on her face as she moved around the kitchen effortlessly, pulling out the scales for measuring out flour for her next creation. She slowly wiped her flour-covered hands on her apron as she set the flour aside, bending down to open the oven door. My nostrils suddenly awakened as I was hit with the most heavenly scent, chocolate. Peering over her shoulder, she revealed hot, mouthwatering chocolate cupcakes. The scent alone took me back to a time when we were a family of four, the day of my seventh birthday. Dad was setting up streamers and balloons in the garden of our old house, quietly cursing to himself as he pinned his thumb for the sixth time that morning. Mom was in the kitchen fixing up all the party food, while Logan and I were hiding out in my room, sharing one of my mom’s incredible cupcakes.
Mom had warned each and every one of us that if we touched any of the food before the guests arrived, she would never make chocolate sponge pudding again. It was a threat we all took seriously. But I couldn’t resist mom’s cupcakes, they were completely out of this world. Deciding to take a chance, I sneaked into the kitchen when nobody was around, quietly making my way towards those tempting cupcakes, when I heard someone clear their throat. Turning around, I saw Logan, both hands behind his back with a cheeky grin spread across his face. Slowly his hands came into view, showing me exactly what he was hiding. Two chocolate cupcakes, one for me and one for him.
“Honey, did you hear me?” Mom asked, ripping through my thoughts.
“Oh, sorry mom. I zoned out, what did you say?”
“I said a letter came for you, it’s on the table.” She replied, shaking her head and rolling her eyes at me.
“Oh, thanks.” Picking up the letter, I quickly glanced at it before stuffing it into my pocket, I’ll open it later. I just wanted to sink my teeth into one of those out-of-this-world cupcakes.
But before I could take a bite, my phone suddenly chimed, alerting me to a new text. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I slid my finger across the screen, revealing a text from Logan.
Logan: Need a ride home?
I had to re-read it twice. I thought he was going back to the dorm?
Me: I thought you went home?
His reply was immediate.
Logan: Went for a drive. Ride?
Smiling, I replied, feeling thankful that there was no weirdness between us.
Me: Sure.
Logan: Be there in 10.
Me: Mom made cupcakes.
Logan: Be there in 5 …
I grinned as I placed my phone back into my pocket. Logan had the biggest sweet tooth ever, especially when it came to my mom’s cupcakes.
With a minute to spare, Logan pulled up just as I was hugging mom. Tears formed in my eyes as she held me tighter, as if she didn’t want to let go. I needed to come home more often, I hated mom being on her own.
“I’ll call you soon, mom.” I said as I pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“Okay sweetie.” She said before turning towards Logan. “Drive safe.”
We all knew the meaning behind those words. Mom had sold the car after dad died and hasn’t stepped foot in a car ever since. Relying solely on buses and trains couldn’t be easy, but she made it work, never once complaining.
“Bye, mom,” I said over my shoulder as I made my way around to Logan’s jeep and climbed in. Smiling, I waved good-bye to mom, tightness pulling at my chest as I noticed wrinkles sitting at the edge her eyes, the brightness of the summer sun forcing me to take notice. How had I not noticed them before? The pain and suffering she has to endure daily from the loss of my father had clearly started to take its toll on her. Blowing a kiss out of the window, I sighed as we pulled out of the driveway and headed back to campus.
“Got you a present,” I said turning to Logan, revealing a chocolate cupcake that I had been hiding behind my back, just like he had done all those years ago.
“Thank you.” He smiled, taking the cupcake out of my hands before sinking his teeth into the chocolate centered cupcake. I watched as he chewed, this throat muscles moving as he swallowed, making my heartbeat flutter.
Sitting back in my seat I was trying to control my increasing heart rate when I felt something land in my lap. Looking down, a smile slowly formed on my face. It was half a cupcake. Turning my gaze to Logan, I couldn’t help but notice a saddened expression on his face, his brows furrowed as he tapped his thumb against the steering wheel.
“You okay?” I asked. He only nodded in response, keeping his eyes trained on the road ahead.
The rest of the drive was silent, the air becoming thick and prickly between us. It was weird. I was just about to ask Logan what was going on when he quickly turned on the radio, blasting some sort of rock music I had never heard before.
The silence was still there when he pulled into campus. He clearly didn’t want to talk about it, so I didn’t press him.
“See you later, Logan.” I said as I got out of the car.
“Yeah,” Was the only response I got from him before he reversed the truck out of the parking spot and sped off campus. Weird.
Sleep didn’t come easy that night, there were no demons to trap me, only Logan’s soft lips, trapping me with earth-shattering kisses.
The dorm room that I shared with Low was just your regular box r
oom. Two single beds lined the back wall with only a single bedside cabinet separating them. It was tiny, but it was my home away from home. Low’s bed was showered in a mass of clothes, hiding her pink comforter as I could hear her getting ready in the bathroom. I couldn’t help but laugh, the place looked like a tsunami had hit. How it was possible for Low not to be able to find anything to wear was beyond me, she had a ton of clothes and always looked amazing in whatever she wore.
“Neva, is that you?” Low shouted as I walked through the door. I placed my bag on my bed, thankful I had finished my last class for the day.
“Yeah, it’s me.” I replied just as Low walked out of the bathroom looking stunning. Her hair was a mass of curls which cascaded effortlessly down her back. Her makeup was flawless, not too much but just enough. She had to have on the most gorgeous black dress I had ever seen, which cut off mid-thigh, showing off her never-ending legs, finished off with scarlet red heels. They made her seem a lot taller than her 5 foot 4 inches in frame.
“Wow Low, you look gorgeous!” I said in awe as she made her way over to her bed, going through the clothes that still lay in a chaotic mess as if she was looking for something.
“Thanks!” She smiled at me over her shoulder “Aha! Found it.” Turning, she dangled a sleek electric blue tube dress in front of me. There was barely anything to it. Seriously, I had bigger belts than that!
“And what exactly do you want me to do with this?” I said raising my brow, inspecting the barely-there dress that she was holding out in front of her chest.
“You are going to wear it tonight for the party.” She stated, clearly I had no choice in the matter. I really just wanted to wear some jeans and a concert t-shirt and have a good time, not be the girl who was practically naked at one of Ace’s parties. Sensing I wasn’t overly keen on the idea, she walked towards me, placing the dress over my right shoulder. “Just trust me, Neva?” She said with a smirk. I knew this look and I knew I wasn’t going to get out of this one.
“Okay, but if I don’t like it, I am throwing on some jeans and a concert tee.” I said, pointing my finger at her. I have never liked drawing attention to myself, it just gave people an opportunity to study me and maybe just one of them might see the real me, the broken Neva that I tried so hard to hide.
Two long and torturous hours later, I was finally allowed to look in the mirror and when I did, I had to do a double take. Surely the girl in the mirror was someone else? “Christ.” I was looking at my reflection in awe while Low stood next to me smiling.
“You look smoking hot, Neva!” Low squealed, pulling me into a hug so tight I could barely breathe. I have to admit, the girl did good. My dark brown hair was free and floating down to my shoulders, a stark change to my usual boring ponytail. My eyes were lined with a perfect blend of midnight black and ocean blue, giving it a dramatic smoky eyed effect. My lips were expertly lined with gloss, and my cheek bones hinted at a subtle rose blush. But it was the dress that Low had done wonders with, it was a perfect match against my pale skin and dark hair. The dress showcased my curves, clinging to my body in all the right places, stopping mid-thigh. I was speechless, I had never dressed like this before, I had never wanted too. My hands suddenly started shaking, appearing at the most inconvenient time. Taking a slow, deep breath, I concentrated on slowing down my rapid heartbeat, telling myself that it was no big deal, it was just a party. Stepping into my black strappy heels, I was ready. Well, physically anyway.
Ace’s house was only a five-minute walk from our dorm, the house that had a reputation for crazy parties and drunken students, keeping half of the town awake. As Low and I made our way over, we talked about classes and the teachers. Well, I say talk, but what I actually mean is, listening to Low rattle on about who was the hottest guy on campus. My mind flashed back to the kiss with Logan over and over again, just thinking about it caused butterflies to stir in my stomach, doing absolutely nothing for my nerves.
“There better be some hot guys here.” Low said, pulling me out of my thoughts as Ace’s house came into view. The house itself was a two-story red brick building and it was freaking huge! Four tall, white columns graced the front steps that lead up to the entrance, which was now littered with people. A mass of cars littered the street with a sea of color, bodies scattered across anywhere they could find space to stand. Tentatively making my way up the steps of the house, my step faltered as nerves hit me once again. Low must have sensed my unease as I felt her hand gently push against my back, walking me straight into the house. We were suddenly in the middle of a makeshift dance floor, filled with bodies grinding against each other as the music from the large sound system made my ears ache in protest.
“Come on, Neva, let’s get a drink.” Low shouted, the loud boom of the music drowning her out. Placing her hand in mine, she pulled me towards the kitchen, which resembled a bar, as every available surface was lined with various bottles of alcohol. A large table sat proudly in the middle of the room as a group of guys hovered around it, hooting and hollering as they cheered on their friends who were playing an intense game of beer pong. Walking through the kitchen and out the large patio doors, I saw the guys hovering around a second keg, all holding the same red solo cups. What was it with guys and beer? Making our way over, I darted my eyes around the back yard, noticing that Logan was nowhere in sight. Where was he? My line of sight was suddenly interrupted when Ace Turner stood right in front of me, looking my body up and down. Ugh!
“Well, well, well Neva James … I’ll be damned.” Ace said with a smirk, He was one of those guys who was the shit, and knew it. Ace was one of my brother’s friends. He was sexy if you liked the whole underground-fighter-buzz-cut thing.
“Dude! What the fuck? Leave my sister alone!” Tate said, scrunching up his nose and punching Ace in the arm. Ace only smirked and raised his brow, giving Tate a “you-punch-like-a-bitch” look.
“What? Everyone wants a piece of this!” Ace said, rolling his hips and biting his lip. Could he get anymore pig-headed? Probably.
“Hey, guys.” I said, throwing Ace a dirty look. He flashed me his cheeky smile and shrugged his shoulders, taking another mouthful of beer.
Our little group consisted of Tate, Ace, Zane and Colt, all of them just as show-stopping as the next. Tate, Zane and Colt played college football, while Ace was a fighter in the underground. Football season hasn’t started yet but the rumors about scouts coming to watch the guys play were rife, they were that good. This, of course, meant they were popular, especially with the woman. Zane and Colt brought a lot of attention due to them being twins, a very hot set of twins. Ace was a grade A douchebag, but the women loved him. Rumors about what skills he had out of the cage still haunt me. Yuck. Then of course there was Tate, my brother, named the object of every woman’s fantasy three years running. Yeah, college girls really needed to find a hobby, namely ones that didn’t involve wondering what my brother was like in the sack. The only person missing was Logan, the star quarterback and panty-melting extraordinaire.
“Where’s Logan?” Low asked, looking around the back yard trying to spot him.
“No idea.” Tate said, turning to me “He didn’t come back to the dorm last night. He did say he was coming, right?” He asked, as he poured two cups of beer, handing one to me and one to Low.
“Yeah, he said he would meet us here.” I replied, shaking my head at the cup that Tate had offered me. Pulling out my phone from my purse, I sent him a quick text.
Me: Where are you? XO
Placing my phone back in my purse, I couldn’t help but worry over Logan. Was he avoiding the party because of what happened? I smiled as butterflies filled my stomach once again, remembering that mouthwatering kiss. Shit, stop it Neva!
“I saw him at the gym this morning pummeling the shit out of the bags.” Zane interjected, taking a gulp of his beer before continuing. “Probably pissed that he didn’t get laid last night.” Zane chuckled, turning to his twin.
“Dude, she wanted me.
What can I say? I’m fucking sexy.” Colt declared, the smug tone in his voice making me chuckle.
“You mean we’re sexy.” Zane scoffed, throwing his twin a dirty look.
“No, I’m sexy.” Colt said, pointing his finger to his chest.
“What the fuck? Dude, we’re identical twins. If you’re sexy, then that means I’m sexy.” Zane argued, clearly finding his twin’s idiocy amusing.
“I am the older one, therefore I am sexier.”
“Jesus, did mom drop you on your fucking head as a baby? What does three damn minutes have to do with how sexy you are?” Zane taunted.
“Dude, you think I’m sexy?” Colt laughed, holding onto his stomach as he bent over. The roar of his laughter drowned out by the booming bass from the speakers.
“Christ, I need a drink.” Zane mumbled, slapping his brother on the back of his head before walking into the house.
“Come on Neva, let’s dance. These idiots will stand there all night arguing about who is sexier.” Low sighed, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the makeshift dance floor. Looking over my shoulder, I couldn’t help but shake my head at the guys.
The pounding bass soon took over my body once we made it to the dance floor, my hips swaying in time with the thundering music, becoming lost in my own little world. Opening my eyes, I looked around for Low, my gaze quickly landing on her brilliant blond hair. She had her hands clasped around someone’s neck, clearly having already found herself a dancing partner. Smiling, I closed my eyes, letting the music take over my body once more, wandering back to a place where I could become lost; not worrying about anything other than concentrating on the movement of my body.
Finding You Page 4
