Walking over to the bedside cabinet that sat between the two single beds, I opened the drawer to find my black leather notebook and a pencil. As soon as my fingertips grazed the sleek leather I pulled it to my chest as I took a seat on the floor, leaning against the side of my bed as I placed the familiar objects in front of me. I took a moment to take in the unique scent of the leather bound book before flipping it to its latest blank page as I placed the pencil behind my ear.
Tentatively I ran my fingertips along the neck of the guitar, my dad’s guitar. It had seen better days, with scuff marks and scratches lining the body but it was just normal wear and tear of something once loved, once cherished. I pulled the guitar on to my lap after crossing my legs, giving it a perfect resting place.
The notes came easily as I strummed my fingertips across the strings, ignoring the bite they caused from not using my pick. No, I wanted to feel, to feel the pain of the memories of my father. I wanted to feel close to him. I would move heaven and earth for just a moment, a cuddle, a question, a ‘it’s going to be okay.’
Before I knew it, I was strumming to the song “Thinking Of You” by Love and Theft as my mind drifted to Logan once more, the lyrics falling from my mouth in a hoarse whisper, reminding me of what could never be.
I was so lost in that torturous song that I didn’t see Low come in until she sat down on her bed facing me, looking like a deer in headlights. Oh shit, my hands stilled as I looked at her waiting, the silence nearly too much to bare.
“Christ you haven’t played in a long time, Neva.” Low said, playing with her fingers in her lap, she only did that when something was bothering her.
I shrugged, I didn’t want to tell her about what had happened tonight but she was right, I hadn’t played my dad’s guitar in over twelve months. Playing Ace’s old acoustic didn’t count, I played his to forget. I play dad’s to remember.
“What’s eating you, Low?” I asked, moving the subject away from me. Something is on her mind, and judging by her face, she didn’t want to tell me.
“Your brother and I got into an argument, no big deal.” She said shrugging her shoulders before getting up from her bed and walking into the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower.” She shouted from behind the bathroom door as the sound of the shower drowned her out.
Shaking my head, I started slowly plucking the strings of my dad’s guitar once more. I glanced at my notepad, knowing I had to write down something for my music assignment, the thought made me feel sick. Do I really want people to know how I feel, who I am?
Taking in a shaky breath, I pulled the pencil from behind my ear, hovering over the page as I rubbed the pad of my thumb against the thin piece of wood that I cradled in my fingertips. I took a moment to think long and hard about what I should say, what I should reveal.
Closing my eyes, I let my hand take over, writing only five letters.
EMPTY.
Angel and I had been out together a few times since the night at the beach. We had been texting back and forth ever since and he called me every night before he would go to sleep to see how my day had been. It gave me a chance to get to know the elusive Angel Walker.
I learned pretty much from Ace’s party that Angel didn’t like to talk much about his family, all I knew was that his dad wasn’t around and that he lived with his mom, whom he doted on. Every time he mentioned her, his eyes would light up, making them look even more beautiful than they already were. I was starting to learn so much more about him, yet so little at the same time. He was so guarded and closed off any time we mentioned his father. I shrugged it off though, I wasn’t exactly forthcoming about my father either.
He had turned up at my dorm with a single rose without any warning a couple of days ago, leaning against my door frame looking sexy as hell while I stood there with my mouth open in an old oversized t-shirt and boy shorts. My hair was piled on top of my head with a pencil holding it in place, my face was bare without a scrap of make-up – I looked like a tramp.
“What are you doing here, Angel?” I asked, trying to hide my face in my hands so he didn’t have to see the monstrosity that was me.
“I thought we could go out for dinner.” He said, placing the rose on my bed before taking a step towards me. He pulled my hands away from my face and placed a tender kiss on the end of my nose.
“I’m not dressed to go out for dinner.” I said, blushing with embarrassment.
“You could go out in nothing but that beautiful shade of red on your cheeks and you would still look sexy.” He chuckled, my face heating even more from his comment. “But as much as I would enjoy it, I would rather you wear clothes. “Reservation is in an hour baby.” He said huskily into my ear before slowly pulling out the pencil from my hair, watching as it tumbled down to my shoulders. He slowly ran his fingers against my scalp, massaging the ache away from the day. I closed my eyes as I let the moan escape my lips.
I felt his lips brush mine softly as I pulled his shirt into my clenched fists, basking in the innocence of the kiss. “Angel.” I moaned against his lips, causing a growl to vibrate from his chest as he pulled away.
“Keep that up and we will never get out of here.” He said breathlessly before running his thumb down my cheek. I leaned into his touch for mere seconds before he pulled away and lay down on my bed. His feet were crossed at his ankles as his arms stretched behind his head, wearing that sexy smirk that could make my panties wet and my knees weak.
All I could do was stand there not knowing how to make my brain work.
My god, this man could do crazy things to me even when he barely touches me.
“Tick, tock baby girl.” He smiled, slowly shutting his eyes.
My brain finally kicked in after a few moments of staring at the ‘sinful angel’ on my bed, running to the closet I pulled out some black skinny jeans and a blue camisole. I wanted to look good for him, but given the time restraints, it would just have to do.
After about ten minutes of Angel reassuring me that I looked great, we finally made our way to the restaurant. It was only a twenty minute walk from campus. Angel didn’t even bother bringing his car this time, which made me smile.
When we finally arrived at the restaurant, a tall and beautiful man was waiting at the entrance to greet us. He was a striking man with a sharp, broad jaw line and a beautiful tanned skin tone. My gaze reached his eyes, they we’re intense, but not in color. There was a fire behind them, a lot of fire. It suddenly dawned on me how much this man resembled Angel, were they related? His eyes were the complete polar opposite of Angel’s. Angel’s eyes were amazing shades of blue whereas this man’s were a deep chocolate brown, they held so much warmth and they instantly made me feel at ease, but also completely off guard.
“Hey Uncle Mark, I didn’t know you would be working tonight.” Angel said as he pulled his uncle into a hug. I couldn’t help but smile seeing that he had a good relationship with him, especially with the absence of his father. Well, that was until I saw Angel’s lips were now pressed into a hard line when he pulled away from his uncles embrace, weird.
“I had to get some paper work that I left in the office.” Mark explained as his eyes darted to me, looking me up and down as if he was trying to read me. “So, who is this little gem?” He still hadn’t taken his eyes off me, I felt as though I was being interrogated with his chocolate eyes as they probed my body.
Was he, was he checking me out?
Angel hadn’t made any move to introduce me, he just stood there with a hard expression on his face. I didn’t understand what was going on but I needed to get his uncle to take his damn eyes off me!
“Hi, I’m Neva James.” I said thrusting my hand out to Mark, desperately hoping that it would pull his eyes away from my body and look at my outstretched hand. He raised his right eyebrow before placing his hand in mine.
“Nice to meet you, Neva. I’m Mark Walker.” He said as he shook my hand firmly. “Angel, can you help me move some of this paperwork?” He said as
he snapped his head over to Angel who now looked so tense, it was unnerving.
“Sure.” He said with a tight nod. “Take a seat at our table and I’ll be right back.”
He pointed to a table in the far corner of the room, the table was shielded by two large white pillars, giving us privacy from the rest of the restaurant.
“Okay, it was nice meeting you, Mark.” I said before placing a swift kiss on Angel’s cheek. I made my way to our table and took a seat. I watched as Mark and Angel disappeared through a door at the far left of the room, weird.
What was all that about? It was weird enough the way Mark was looking at me, but it was just plain uncomfortable watching the strained exchange between uncle and nephew. I didn’t have time to question it further as Angel suddenly appeared, taking his seat in front of me at the table. He looked as though he had just swallowed a sour lemon.
“Are you okay?” I asked, gently placing my hand on top of his that was resting on the table. His face screwed up into a scowl as he looked down at our hands, but before I could ask what was going on, he shook his head as if he was trying to rid his head of his thoughts. A smile crept across his beautiful face as he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.
“Yeah, I’m good now. I’m here with you.”
The food was amazing. Angel ordered practically everything on the menu and insisted on feeding me small bites of everything. The tension that was in his shoulders seemed to have magically melted away, as if it was never there. His sexy smile was back as we enjoyed each other’s company. We talked about music and college, like what happened before was no big deal. I couldn’t help but notice that he avoided talking about his uncle.
My stomach was hurting from all the laughing we had been doing, although I suspect the amount of food I consumed was probably a factor too. I had to hold my stomach as we made our way back to my dorm.
“I had an awesome time tonight, Neva.” He said as we walked up the campus staircase to the second floor, stopping in front of my dorm door on the narrow corridor.
“Me too.” I smiled.
As I reached for my door, Angel suddenly spun me around in his arms, crashing his lips against mine, causing sensations to hit me like nothing before. I gasped, opening my mouth, his tongue glided against mine, pulling a moan from my lips. My hands found their way into his hair, fisting it at his scalp as I pulled him close to my body. My back quickly hit the door behind me as Angel guided me back. Suddenly, in one swift move, my legs were wrapped around his lean waist as he pressed his hardness between my legs. This wasn’t sweet and romantic like before, this was hard and carnal, but it was laced with something I couldn’t describe. I was lost in a sea of sensations as Angel’s hands moved up my shirt, grazing his fingertips across my skin leaving scorch marks behind. He ground his hips into me while pinning me against the door. We moaned together as we basked in the touch of each other, treading new territory.
“I thought you would at least wait until you got in your room before you drop your panties, Neva. Real classy.”
The voice alone made my head spin at an electrifying speed, making me dizzy with familiarity. Angel’s head quickly snapped around to the source of the snide remark. I didn’t need to look, I knew without a doubt who it was. Only one person could send my mind and body into a frenzy just by saying my name, Logan.
Without moving from our embrace Angel scowled at Logan, still keeping me pinned against the door while I tried to use Angel as a shield, but not from Logan. A shield from Angel himself, I didn’t want him to see the effect Logan’s voice alone did to my body.
“What did you just say, douchebag?” Angel spat, fury washed over his face as he bore holes straight through Logan. I tried to untangle myself from Angel’s body to try and stop the disaster that was happening right in front of me but Angel was pinning me harder, causing my pelvis to ache.
“I thought you were better than that, Neva.” Logan completely ignored what Angel had just said. He was just talking to me as if Angel wasn’t even there. But Logan’s words stung, tears filled my eyes as I watched Logan leave the corridor shaking his head. Suddenly I felt Angel’s eyes on me, looking up the fury was written all over his face.
“Who was that?” He said in thundering voice, I flinched in shock from the sheer anger that poured from him.
“Logan.” I whimpered. My voice was shaky and my lips quivered as tears spilled down my cheeks. I was more afraid of Angel in this moment to even think to be upset over Logan’s words.
“If I ever see him again or if he even tries to bad mouth you again, I will make him regret it.” He said, his voice softer than before, but still firm enough to scare me.
“J … Just leave it Angel. He is my brother’s best friend. He is probably wasted.” I lied, tripping over my words at the sheer speed they fell out of my mouth trying to calm Angel down.
“I won’t make any promises, Neva, but being wasted isn’t an excuse to insult you.” He said in a strained whisper as he rested his forehead against mine. He slowly ran his fingertips along my cheeks. I closed my eyes as he wiped away the tears that had escaped. “I’m sorry I scared you.” He apologized, only inches from my lips.
“You didn’t, I promise.” I said pulling away from his touch, smiling weakly.
“Are you okay?” He searched my face for a hint of exactly what was going through my mind.
“I better go inside, it’s late … I just need to get some sleep.”
He pulled my face into his hands, running his fingertips down my cheeks. My body trembled under his touch.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked as he bent his knees, his eyes becoming eye level with mine.
“Yeah, I’m just tired.” I said nodding, trying hard not to crack under his intense gaze.
His lips gently brushed against mine, taking me completely by surprise. It was so different from the kiss he gave me just moments ago, this man had so many different sides to him. Question is, can I keep up?
“Sweet dreams, baby.” He said before walking down the corridor and out of the building, leaving me frozen on the spot.
“You’re going to Bones? Oh. My. God! I’m so jealous Nev.” Low squealed. “And Angel knows Ryder Wilde? Damn, that boy could ride me any time!” She said, wiggling her eyebrows at me suggestively.
“Yeah, thanks for that mental image, Low.” Does she always have to think with her vagina?
“What, you’re telling me you wouldn’t? You’re in a relationship, Neva, not dead!”
“Okay, yes Ryder is hot. Now shut up and help me get ready, skank!”
“Ugh, you need to get laid soon. I am seriously considering sending you to a damn convent.” Low chuckled at her own joke.
Rolling my eyes, I started rifling through our closet, what the hell do I wear to a rock bar?
“Come on baby girl, Low is driving me crazy out here!” Tate shouted from outside the bathroom door an hour later. “Ouch! Jesus baby! What was that for?”
“For being an ass.” I heard Low reply. I couldn’t help but chuckle and shake my head at my brother and best friend.
“Okay you bunch of kids, I’m coming!” I said, placing my other matching earring in before opening the door and walking out into the room.
“God damn, I’m good!” Low grinned, admiring her handy work.
Low had helped me pick out my outfit, a snug fitting black Jack Daniels vest top, coupled with tight, low slung jeans. My hair was thrown up in a messy ponytail, slightly curled at the ends. My make-up was dramatic. My eyes accentuating my outfit with a smoky effect, my lips were lined with a bright scarlet red. Teamed with my black leather jacket and Converse, I was ready to go.
“Jesus Neva, you look awesome!” said Tate, flashing me a smile. I think he was more enthusiastic than I was.
“Thanks Tate, so what’s this rock bar like then?” I asked, turning to Low. I was curious to know what I was about to walk into.
“Rock bar?” She said, looking at me confused.
�
��Uh yeah, what should I expect?” I said, furrowing my brows at the look of utter confusion on Low’s face.
“Neva, Bones isn’t a rock bar, sweetie.” She said with a chuckle. “It’s a biker bar.”
“A what?” Tate and I shrieked at the same time, what the hell?
“Are you kidding, Low? You better be fucking around.” said Tate, clearly not happy at Low’s little revelation.
“Baby she will be fine.” Low said to Tate before turning back to me. “Do you want me to go with you?” She asked. I didn’t know if she wanted to go to watch out for me or because she wanted to get a glimpse of Ryder.
“No, I’m good. I’m sure I will be fine.” I said, trying to reassure myself more than anybody else.
“If you get uncomfortable or just want to come home, you can call me or Logan. Okay?” Tate said, placing his hands on my shoulders, squeezing gently.
“Okay.” I nodded.
“Let’s get our asses on the road then!” Tate said, making our way down to his truck.
“You sure about this?” Tate asked as we pulled into the parking lot, eying up the endless rows of motorcycles lining the outside of the bar.
“Tate I will be fine, I’ll be with Angel.” I said, sending an Angel a quick text, letting him know I was outside.
“Speaking of Angel, where is he?” He asked. “I need to make sure he is going to look after my baby girl.” His brow furrowed quickly as he focused on the entrance of the bar.
I turned my gaze to where Tate was staring wide-eyed, watching as a figure emerged from the darkness.
“He’s here.” I smiled, my mouth parting as I salivated from the sight before me. Tight ripped jeans hugged muscular thighs as he walked, a black vest top showcased broad shoulders and strong, masculine forearms. But my eyes locked on a black and white bandanna that hung loosely around his neck, damn he was sexy!
“That’s Angel?” Tate asked, throwing his gaze back to me, the worry evident on his face.
Finding You Page 10
