“Or you’ll what?” The growl in Logan’s voice didn’t go unnoticed as I pried my ogling eyes from his god-like body, finally locking my gaze on his face, trying hard not to look back down again. But I was quickly taken aback when I saw Logan’s blood-shot eyes.
“You’re drunk.” I said as I pushed past him, causing him to stumble slightly as I walked into the room. My eyes roamed around to find any trance of evidence of Logan’s ‘rampage’ but everything looked the way it should, well except from the fist-size hole in the wall just above his bed.
My feet suddenly started to ache in pain as the adrenaline left my body. Christ it was painful. My knees started to buckle from under me. I quickly sat down on the edge of Logan’s bed, giving me a little relief as I took the weight off my now swollen and blood tinged feet. Looking down, I cringed. This was going to really hurt in the morning!
I was suddenly aware of a hand on my ankle. Logan’s strong hands were grasping at my foot as he crouched down on the floor in front of me. Raising my foot higher to investigate the sole, I watched him carefully as I saw his brows furrow clearly confused as to why I had no shoes on.
“We need to clean these up.” He said, his eyes never left my foot as he said those words to me. Then it hit me.
“No Logan, I’m fine.” I didn’t want him doing this. I didn’t even think about it when I took my damn shoes off. Logan hated the sight of blood.
“If you’re worried I am going to faint on you, don’t. I haven’t done that since I was fifteen.”
The memory of Logan fainting on the floor in our back yard made me chuckle. Tate had broken his arm when he fell out of the old oak tree. He was showing off, trying to climb to the top telling us all that he was the best tree climber. But he didn’t make it past the fourth branch, falling on his right arm he screamed out from the pain. I’m not surprised he screamed and cried as much as he did. He had hurt his arm pretty bad. Mom came running outside to see what was going on, pulling Tate to sit up against the tree, his injury was pretty evident. Bone was sticking out of his arm while blood poured profusely from it. I sat down next to him to comfort him when I noticed Logan’s face paling. His large frame suddenly hit the deck with a thud, he had fainted. Tate needed surgery to fix his arm, but made a full recovery. As for Logan? He didn’t live it down for weeks from Tate and me.
Logan’s hands left my ankle as he stood up and walked into his bathroom, leaving my skin hot just from the most innocent of touch. Shit, this wasn’t a good idea. I quickly stood up, causing pain to shoot through my feet, making my legs weak. I need to get out of here.
“Neva, sit down before you fall on your damn face.”
Logan’s arms wrapped around my waist as he gently guided me back down on the bed, crouching back down on the floor and producing a damp towel. Slowly, he wiped away the blood from my feet, never taking his eyes off the task at hand. I watched him closely, watching for any sign of him becoming faint. The last thing I needed was him face-planting on the floor.
Logan took his time, ensuring he got every last bit of blood and dirt from my feet. The meticulously slow, even strokes were damn near hypnotic. I closed my eyes and allowed my body just to feel how the towel brushed against my skin so gently. Logan’s breath grazed against my skin as he concentrated on cleaning my feet. He slowly moved from one foot to the other. His eyes still fixed on the lower half of my body, still not looking up at me. But when I looked down at him once again, I was met with Logan’s gorgeous brown eyes staring up at me. His hand trailed from my ankle to my calf, massaging my sore muscles that burned from the run that brought me here.
“What are you …”
“Don’t talk, Neva, just listen.” He sighed as his hands rubbed the knots out of my muscles, pampering my skin.
“You have been driving me crazy since we were kids. With your cute little button nose that scrunched up when you were confused, or the way you used to take fries from my damn plate even though you said you weren’t hungry. Even when you used to cry when you watched Bambi. But now, you drive me crazy in other ways. The way your button nose now scrunches up when you smile. It’s no longer cute, it’s sexy. The way you now pick up one of my fries and feed it to me before taking one for yourself, which isn’t freaking annoying anymore. It’s hot. The way you still cry at Bambi, but now try and hide your face with your hair when you do it. It makes me want to hold you and brush your hair out of your beautiful face.”
If I was standing up, his words would have knocked me off my feet. Taking a deep breath, he carried on.
“Do you know what the best part is, Neva?” I couldn’t form words, I shook my head in response.
“You have no idea that I have been in love with you from the moment I held you for the first time. When you were just ten years old.”
My world stopped and my head spun, did he just say love?
“I don’t understand, I …” Logan’s fingertip softly grazed my lips, stopping me from continuing.
“See, all I can think about is that kiss. I can see it in my dreams, I can taste it every time I touch my lips and I can feel it every time I close my eyes. But seeing you with Angel tears me apart, Nev. It fucking shatters me.” I couldn’t take my eyes off him as his words sunk in, rendering me mute.
“But I know I will never be good enough for you, you deserve so much better than me. You told me to leave you alone and I’ve tried. Fuck, I have tried, Neva. But every time I try, I get this ache in my chest and it hurts, it hurts so fucking much.”
“Logan, I …” I didn’t know what to say, what do you say to the man who you love but too scared to tell? Scared that one day he could be taken away from me in a blink of an eye. Scared that he could crush my heart further. Realization suddenly consumed me, I loved him.
“I’m with Angel.” The words tumbled out of my mouth on a choked sob. “And you, you’re with …”
“No, Neva, I’m not. We aren’t together.”
“But you said …”
“No, I didn’t. You saw me with Georgia and you assumed we were together. We never have been together. She was a stand in, a distraction. They have all been a damn distraction from the one woman I could never have. The one woman I didn’t deserve.” Tears stung my eyes as his words hit me full force like a slap in the face.
He wasn’t with Georgia, but it didn’t change anything. I am with Angel and I really like him. He doesn’t know about my demons and what happened to my family and I liked that. I didn’t have to explain it. It kept me safe.
“I’m with Angel.” I repeated. I didn’t know if I was trying to convince Logan or myself. But this was the only way I could protect myself. I desperately wanted to tell Logan that I was in love with him. But I knew that if I did, I would open myself up for more heartbreak. So I did the only thing I knew how, I pushed him away.
“I’m sorry, Logan.” I watched as a stray tear gently rolled down his cheekbone, silently shattering me further.
“I know.” His voice broke against the sobs that were desperate to escape.
I couldn’t look at him, just watching that single tear roll down his cheek was enough torture for me to endure. I quickly stood and made my way to the door, stepping over Logan in the process. Reaching out for the doorknob I grasped it in my hand tightly, turning my knuckles white from my grasp.
“Don’t leave me, Neva.” The whispered sobs tumbled into my ear as Logan’s body enclosed around mine, keeping me from running.
“I have to.” I had to close my eyes to stop the tears that threatened to escape just from the pleading in his voice. The overwhelming urge to hold him, sooth him, love him was becoming too much to bare.
“Give me one last taste, give me that. Please.”
I didn’t have time to think, never mind respond, before Logan had twisted me in his arms. He swiftly pinned my body against the door that I was ready to walk out of just moments before. Seconds passed as he stared into my eyes, searching for something. I knew he found what he was looking for when
his lips suddenly collided against mine, sending fireworks through my body like the 4th of July, pushing every nerve, every muscle, every heartbeat into an explosive frenzy. I shouldn’t kiss him, but my desire for Logan outweighed any conscious thought that my mind could produce.
Our lips were locked in an innocent embrace, neither of us taking the kiss further. Both unsure of the others possible reaction, but need pooled somewhere deep inside me. My body burned and screamed ‘give it to him.’
So, I did.
A moan escaped my lips as Logan’s scent invaded my senses, spiced apple and cinnamon clouded my body and judgment. My lips parted as I tentatively ran my tongue across Logan’s perfectly defined bottom lip, tasting the saltiness of his tears. Collecting them, savoring them.
My hand trailed up to his muscular neck, entwining my fingers through the tips of his unbelievably soft hair as Logan deepened the kiss. He probed my tongue with his, expertly taking me, exploring me. This was no longer innocent. This was hot and frantic, and my body was responding shamelessly as I groaned from the sudden change of direction as our bodies became one.
“Oh shit.” Logan muttered against my mouth as he took hold of my exposed thighs, wrapping my legs around his waist. His fingers dug into my flesh as I moaned from the intense sensation of his hardness against my core. Only my lace panties and his dark denim jeans separated us. But holy shit, it felt so good.
I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe. All I could do was feel as Logan’s hips pinned me against the door while his tongue frantically searched my mouth, taking every last piece of me.
“Logan.” I moaned as he ground his hips against my core, sending electricity though out my whole damn body. It fueled my need and desire for more. So much more. Just a whisper of his name and he was growling against my mouth. We were so close as our bodies entwined at the most intimate points. Logan quickly found a slow, torturous rhythm as he ground his hips into my core. My eyes rolled as I threw my head back against the door, moaning as Logan’s teeth quickly found my neck. Grazing my skin, he slowly pushed me further to the edge.
My nails scraped against his scalp while his hips ground against me over and over, again. I was panting and breathless as he swiftly encircled my wrists with both hands, quickly pinning them above my head. His hair stroked my hypersensitive skin as his head rested in the crook of my neck once more. He was licking, biting, and sucking while he increased the pressure in his hips.
“Please.” I panted, I had no idea what I was pleading for. For him to stop? To carry on?
Oh God, carry on …
My mind was running at lightning speed when Logan’s took my earlobe between his teeth, my whole body started to buck underneath his. My body twisted in to a ball of desire that was desperate to release. Everything scorched and burned simultaneously as Logan ground his hips into mine one last time, before he whispered into my ear.
“I love you.”
The moan that erupted from my throat was hoarse and husky as my body found its release. He swallowed my scream with a sensually slow kiss, prolonging the earth-shattering pleasure that had completely consumed me.
“I’m sorry.” I said against Logan’s chest, my breathing came back down to a reasonable level for me to actually produce words. But I quickly regretted them as soon as they tumbled from my mouth when Logan quickly pulled back from me.
“What are you sorry for?” He asked gently, taking my face in his hands. He ran the pads of his thumbs over my skin, sending a rush of tingles through my now limp body.
“For me, I … Er.”
“Neva? Was that your first orgasm?” The look on Logan’s face didn’t give anything away. What would he think if he knew that he just took another piece of me?
“Neva, please answer me.” He pleaded. I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth. The only thing I could do was nod and close my eyes, not wanting to see his reaction.
“Damn.” He mumbled before taking my lips against his, kissing me like I had never been kissed before. It was so soft and sweet, making my heart flutter, my knees weak and my head dizzy.
“Stay with me.” He asked against my lips, my head was all over the place. Logan and I had shared a bed many times before, usually when he had to pull me out from one of my nightmares. But things are different now, we are different now.
“Logan, I can’t.” I pleaded. I needed him to stop. I needed this to stop. I was only so strong.
“Neva, if I can’t touch you, feel you or kiss you ever again after tonight, then I want you to stay with me. We will just sleep I promise.”
Things had already gone too far tonight, a line had been crossed and there was no going back for either of us. But the thought of falling asleep in Logan’s arms one last time was making my heart ache. I needed Logan to soothe that ache. Even if it was just for one night.
“Okay.”
I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but it was him. It has always been him. My Logan.
“Thank you.”
He pressed his lips against my neck softly before carrying me over to his bed, gently laying me down on his pillow and crawled up my body. He ran his hands down my ribs before reaching around to my back, lifting me slightly so my back curved and arched from the bed as he found the zipper of my dress. I searched his eyes frantically, trying to understand what he was doing.
“Relax.” He smiled as he slowly pulled down the zipper, releasing me of the confines of my tight clothes. My dress was now completely unzipped and just resting against my skin when Logan’s hands left my body as he sat back, sighing.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, nervous that he might having second thoughts.
“I don’t want anything between us tonight Neva, but I don’t know if I have enough restraint not to take you and make you mine.” His fingers trailed a line from my jaw to ribs.
Oh. God.
“I want to feel you.”
His hands reached my ribs and had started running lazy circles over my dress, a moan escaping my lips as his fingertips grazed my bare skin at the back of my dress.
“To know you.”
He suddenly moved from my ribs to my temple, placing his palm against my cheek. Leaning into his touch, I closed my eyes. His strong hands cradled my face.
“To own you.”
His hands wrapped around my face as he leaned his forehead against mine, sneaking the softest of kisses from my lips.
“But right now, I want to make love to you. Let me in Neva, let me love you.” I gasped, this man could undo me like no other, but was I ready to give him that piece of me? A piece of me that no one else could ever take?
“I don’t know if I can.”
Could I let him in, knowing that I would be more vulnerable than ever before?
“I don’t think my heart could take it if I can’t love you right now.” He pleaded, a he rained kisses all over my face from my eyes, to my cheeks to my nose.
“I don’t know how.” I confessed as he pressed a soft butterfly kiss on the corner of my mouth, drawing out a moan. I lay there desperately wondering if he understood the double meaning of my words.
“Then let me show you.”
I gasped. I didn’t want anything between us either and it was time I faced the facts. I loved this man deeply and if I couldn’t tell him with words, I was just going to have to show him. Sitting up, I quickly grasped at the hem of my dress as I slowly peeled it away from my body and over my head. I could hear a whispered gasp escape Logan’s lips as I threw my dress on the floor. I was exposed in only my black bra and matching lace panties, but I didn’t feel vulnerable. I felt empowered from the way Logan was watching me closely, taking in every single inch of my body.
Feeling confident, I took hold of Logan’s neck with both hands, pulling us both back down to the bed. His forehead rested against mine as he looked straight into my eyes. I watched as he tried desperately not to look down at my body once more.
With his hands on both sides of my head and his knees in between
my thighs, he was holding his weight off of me. I wanted him close with no barriers. I wanted Logan’s bare chest against mine. To shield me, to hold me, to love me. Placing my still sore feet against the top of his knees I pushed hard against them, sending Logan’s body crashing against mine.
“Shit.” He groaned.
The sudden change in pressure as our bodies collided sent my mind spiraling into overdrive while my body splintered into a hole, filled with pleasure, desire and need.
“Neva.” He groaned as he rested his weight against my body. His hips flush to my aching core as his breath grazed my skin causing my whole body to shudder underneath his weight.
“I want you so fucking bad.” He growled huskily into my ear, fueling the raging fire that was already burning deep in my belly. Taking my earlobe between his teeth once more he sucked and licked gently, sending any rational thought straight out of the window.
“When I take you Neva, I am going to make damn sure you will never forget it.”
The husk in his voice was turning me into putty in his hands, ready to be molded.
I was suddenly aware of his hands around my waist as he quickly shifted our bodies, pulling me onto his lap. I wrapped my legs around his defined torso, my arms around his neck. We were nose to nose as he trailed his hand down to my bra. His deft fingers making short work of the clasp as he slowly peeled the straps from my shoulders, exposing me. His eyes never left mine as he threw my bra across the room, turning me on even more.
“I’m too scared to look Neva.” He whispered, closing his eyes. “Scared that I will wake up and this will all be just a dream.”
The insecurity in his voice fueled me further. This was just as scary for me as it was for him. This was new territory and we were both about to go into battle.
Finding You Page 12
