She did feel confined—almost as if she were in prison. Even though, unlike poor Andy, she had the freedom of choice, she didn’t know what to choose. Despite Hal’s encouragement, she sure wasn’t ready to go back to Sisters. The mere idea of facing her sisters was overwhelming—especially before she completely made up her mind about what she was doing. And, as much as she wanted to see Lewis, she had no idea what she’d tell him either. It shook her to the core to feel so totally flaky, miserably indecisive, and thoroughly confused. This was not her normal take-charge self.
She sat down and tried to remember what she’d felt Nona telling her that day, shortly before the funeral service—something about letting go. Well, it seemed that she had let go all right. And look what happened. Now she was left dangling—or maybe she was freefalling. But when—and how—would she land?
The ringing of the phone rescued her, but to her dismay it was Curtis. “How’s it going?”
“Not well.”
“Not well in what sort of way?”
So she filled him in about packing up her office, finding another pink slip, and her general state of dazed and confused.
“So you’re going back to Sisters?” he asked sadly.
“I don’t know. But not today, for sure. And yet I don’t want to be here in Portland either. Any more pink slips and I’ll probably get the book thrown at me.”
“Come and stay here with me,” he offered.
“Thanks. But I need to figure this out, Curtis. I don’t see that happening at your house when you’re there to distract me. And I’m on needles and pins here in the condo. And I can’t go back to Sisters and think. I need to—”
“Go use my folks’ beach cabin,” he suggested.
“Really?”
“Sure. I don’t think anyone’s there this week. Hang on and I’ll check the calendar.”
She held her breath as she waited. The beach cabin would be perfect. She’d only been there once when Curtis’s sister and husband were there, but she knew Curtis managed the beach house for his parents, and it was out of the way and quiet and—
“It’s free until the weekend after next,” he told her. “That’s nine days.”
“Really? Could I stay there that whole time?”
“I’m penciling your name in as we speak. It’s yours for the taking.”
Now she wondered if this wasn’t setting herself up. “And I’ll be there by myself, right? Just Andy and me?”
“Meaning, am I secretly planning to come over and crash in on you?”
“Well, the thought occurred to me.”
“I will leave you to yourself, Hope. And maybe you’ll think about me while you’re there.”
“You can count on that.”
“And while you’re there, you’ll see the model clipper ship I built as a boy and the shells I collected…and you’ll be thinking—”
“Okay, okay,” she told him. “I get the hint. But I can’t promise that being in your family’s beach house is going to persuade me one way or another. I just need some peace and quiet.”
“Nothing but peace and quiet there,” he assured her. “And the key is hidden under the old captain sculpture by the front door. It’s pretty heavy, but if you tilt it slightly you can kick the key loose with your foot.”
“Thank you so much, Curtis.”
“Just promise to think of me while you’re there.”
“I will.”
“And call if you need anything. There’s a list of helpful notes by the door. I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
So they said good-bye, and Hope immediately began gathering up her things and tossing them into a bag. It wasn’t long before she and Andy were on their way to the beach…where hopefully she could sort things out and make some decisions. She imagined herself going to a neutral place—like Switzerland—where the only influences would be the sound of the sea and her own heart.
Chapter Twenty-one
The first few days at the beach were blissfully quiet and peaceful. And mostly she just walked the beach with Andy, read from Curtis’s mom’s collection of novels, shopped at the nearby market, cooked simple meals, chopped firewood for the fires she built in the big rock fireplace each night, and sat on the deck just looking out at the surf.
Oh, she was fully aware that she was in avoidance mode. And always in the back of her mind was this nagging sensation that she had some thinking to do. But mostly she was just plain tired. Mostly she just wanted to turn down the noise in her brain and simply relax. She was on vacation.
And she kept her promise to Curtis. She did look at the clipper ship he’d built, wondering how a boy of only nine (she knew this because his mother had written it on a slip of paper taped to the stand) could put together something so intricate. Perhaps even then he knew he wanted to be an architect. And she admired his shell collection, not just randomly thrown into a dusty basket but laid out neatly under glass with each shell identified with its Latin name.
And she chuckled over the numerous old photos of him and his sister Christy as kids. Someone had enlarged them into black and white and neatly framed and hung them. Probably Curtis’s mom, since she was clever like that. And Hope wondered about the scruffy black dog in some of the pictures then missing later on. She studied the photos of his parents with their contented smiles and well-adjusted lives. So amazingly normal.
The Phillips family had always been her ideal—just the sort of family she could imagine being a part of—so vastly different from her own. But when she tried to imagine herself married to Curtis, since she knew that was his ultimate goal, she always thought of Lewis.
And finally, this made her mad. She got so mad, she dialed Lewis’s phone number and was ready to question him on what he’d been up to with Cherry and why he insisted on ruining Hope’s life by making her so miserable. But before he answered, she hung up. And then she turned her phone off just in case he had caller ID and attempted to call back.
As the weekend came and went, she pushed thoughts of Sisters out of her mind. She knew she was missing the rodeo parade, which she’d always loved, as well as the rodeo, as well as Erica’s rodeo barbecue. But she told herself she didn’t care. She blocked out what was happening—or not happening in the renovation process at Nona’s house. But finally on Monday, she called Erica.
“Hey, where are you?” Erica demanded. “I thought you were coming back for rodeo.”
“I told you I wasn’t sure. And right now I’m at the beach.”
“The beach?”
“To do some thinking.”
“Must be a tough life.”
Hope attempted a laugh. “So how are things in good old Sisters? Did the rodeo tourists burn anything down this year?”
Now Erica laughed. “No, the sheriffs try to keep things down to a pretty low roar anymore. But remember that year when they started to burn the picnic tables at the park?”
“Yeah, that was crazy. So how was your barbecue?”
“Fun. And guess who was here?”
“I haven’t the slightest.”
“Your baby sister’s love interest.”
Hope’s chest tightened at this, but she decided to play dumb. “Love interest?”
“You know, your grandmother’s handsome attorney.”
“Oh, Lewis.” Hope tried to sound nonchalant. “What was he doing there?”
“He’s friends with Bobbie. She invited him.”
“Oh?”
“Poor Bobbie, she’s had a crush on Lewis ever since she interviewed him for the paper.”
“She interviewed him…for what?”
“Oh, I think he was heading up a Habitat project. Either that or Bobbie just made something up for an excuse to spend time with him.”
“So, is Lewis interested in Bobbie?” Again, Hope tried to sound disinterested.
“It’s hard to say, but I have to hand it to Bobbie. The girl’s got guts. She cornered him about your sister Cherry.”
“How did Bobbie know about
that?”
“I’m sure some little bird told her.”
“A little bird named Erica?”
“This is a small town, Hope. Things get around.”
“So anyway, did he have a response for Bobbie?” Hope could feel her heart in her throat now. She wasn’t sure she even wanted to hear the answer.
“All he said was that he would never get involved with a married woman and if he’d been seen meeting with Cherry it was strictly business. Or something like that.”
“Strictly business in a restaurant lounge?”
“I don’t know, but Bobbie seemed satisfied. In fact, she offered to join Habitat for the next building project. She’s never slung a hammer in her life, but she said she’d be willing to learn to spend more time with him.”
“She told him that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. That’s what she told me.”
Hope knew she needed to be careful. “Speaking of Habitat houses, I wonder how mine’s coming.”
“I’m surprised you’re not back here checking on it, Hope. Do you have any idea how many things can go wrong in a remodel left to itself? I learned that the hard way down in California. But, seriously, you should be around to make sure it’s okay.”
“I just can’t right now.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s right…you’re too busy being a beach bum. Let me guess, it’s time for you to turn over in the sun. Hope you’re using your sunscreen.”
“For your information it’s foggy today.”
Erica laughed. “It still sounds lovely.”
“Would you do me a big favor?”
“What?”
“Would you go and check on my house for me?”
“I guess I could do that.”
“And, don’t forget, Brian Godwin is working there. And he’s a pretty cool guy, too.” Hope had no idea why she said this. It probably sounded as if she were using Brian to bait Erica.
“From what I hear, there’s something going on between you and Brian.”
“Who told you that?” Hope imagined Cherry out there spreading rumors.
“I can’t even remember. But you know those jungle drums.”
“Well, it’s not true. Brian is a great guy and a hard worker, but we’re really just friends.”
“So far anyway.”
“Honestly, Erica. That’s all there is to it.”
“So you’re saying that should I, say, go over there and flirt my head off at Brian, you would be just fine with it?”
“I swear, I would.”
Erica just laughed. “Okay, I’ll go and check on your house, Hope. Want me to call you back with a full report?”
“Sure, I’d love that.”
“And if Brian and I decide to run down to Reno, you want to hear about that, too?”
“Sure, Erica. In fact, let me know and I’ll come and dance at your wedding.”
Erica laughed harder now. “You better hurry back to Sisters, Hope. I think I need you around for the laughs.”
“I’m working on it,” Hope told her.
And really, wasn’t that what she was doing? She was working on it…trying to figure it all out. It was just that these things took time. But this newsflash about Bobbie and Lewis and how she’d questioned him about Cherry, well, that sounded positive. Of course, what was Lewis going to say to Bobbie? Did she expect him to answer, yes, as a matter of fact, he was having an affair with a married woman? And not just any married woman, mind you, but the one who made it into the newspaper regularly, the one who’d married into one of the old ranching families, the one who almost everyone in town seemed to love? Not likely.
Hope walked and thought and even prayed. Then she thought and walked and prayed some more. And the whole while, Andy stayed close to her side—just like he’d always done with Nona. Maybe even while Nona was rethinking her will, trying to make a plan to help Hope. But in the end, it was up to Hope. And now she remembered the impression she’d had before—the sense that Nona was telling her to let go…and to trust God. And as Hope walked and considered all these things, that is exactly what she did. She let go. And she trusted God to hold on. This was, she decided, what Nona would call faith. Like stepping from the known into the unknown. And, Hope realized, it was a relief to let go. It was exhilarating to trust God. And to think that, after all these years, He was still there for her…still ready to be her best friend. More than ever, she needed that.
So, by the end of the week, two things seemed perfectly clear. She no longer wanted to live in Portland. And she did not want to marry Curtis. She firmly believed what she’d suspected before—Curtis deserved someone who truly loved him, not someone who was using him as an escape route, someone who was willing to settle. Just being here in his family’s beach house helped to convince her of this. And that’s what she gently told him on Friday morning. To her surprise, he took it well.
“I kind of knew this was coming,” he admitted. “But I’m glad you took the time to really think it over and to come to a firm decision.”
“Some really wonderful woman is going to thank me for letting you go someday,” she assured him. “And you will, too. I know it.”
“I’ll have to take your word for that.”
“I’ll clean the cabin up before I leave tomorrow,” she told him. “I’ve chopped and stacked all the firewood.”
He chuckled. “Wow, you must’ve been struggling over this really hard.”
“I was.” She didn’t admit that the struggle wasn’t completely over him, or even completely over yet. But she did tell him that, in her own way, she would always love him and she would always appreciate her friendship with him. “But I know it’s over.”
“I know that, too. I’ve heard of couples breaking up and trying to be just friends, but it never seems to work. And I know it wouldn’t for us.”
“Take care, Curtis.”
“You, too. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
“Thanks. Me, too—for both of us.”
Later that day, Monroe called and left a message, saying that he was ready to return to Sisters, asking if it was okay if he stayed with her again. As she called him back, she knew she was sealing her fate—really letting go. “I’m going to put my condo up for sale,” she told her nephew. “So I need to pack some things up and clear some things out. Do you think you’d want to come to Portland to help?”
“Sure!”
“Would your dad mind?”
“I doubt it. He thinks you’re the sane one in the family.” Then Monroe laughed and told her about how both Cherry and Faye had called his dad, trying to convince him that Hope was not to be trusted. “But he didn’t believe them.”
“You should be able to get your flight changed pretty easily. There are more flights from Seattle to Portland than to Redmond. And then we’ll just drive to Sisters together.”
“Sounds good. I’ll ask Dad to help me with the ticket.”
They decided that Monday would be soon enough for him to arrive. Hope didn’t tell him she was at the beach…or that she’d only just decided to return to Sisters. But she was glad Monroe was coming, and glad that she’d have to stick to her decision now. No backing out. To seal the deal even more, she called her Realtor friend Natalia and asked her about listing her condo.
“Of course I’d love to list it. I haven’t had anything in that side of town for ages. I might even have a buyer for you.”
“Seriously? Already?”
“I have an older couple who want to downsize. Their home closes in a couple of weeks. We’ve been looking.”
“That’s fantastic.”
“When can I come over?”
So Hope explained that she wasn’t even home. “I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon. But you might want to wait until Monday.”
“Are you kidding? How about five tomorrow? Will you be home by then?”
So it was agreed, and Hope spent the next morning cleaning the cabin. Her goal was to leave it better than she’d found
it. And she also left Curtis’s mom a note saying what a wonderful man she’d raised, and how much Hope respected their whole family, and that it hadn’t been easy to walk away, but that it was over. And then she and Andy left.
She got home before four and, worried that she needed to straighten her house for Natalia, ran around dusting, taking out the trash, and even picking pieces of lint from the furniture. But, really, the place was immaculate. Natalia thought so, too. “So how soon can we begin showing it?” she asked after they’d settled on the price and Hope read and signed the contract.
“My nephew is coming on Monday,” Hope explained. “He’s going to help me pack up some things. Like the kitchen and whatnot. All those small things that take time to pack and that I’ll need in Sisters once my house is done.”
“But you’ll leave your furniture here, won’t you?” Natalia looked worried. “It’s always easier to show a house that’s staged, and this place looks just about perfect as is. Although a little clearing of clutter and personal things won’t matter.”
“I’ll leave the large pieces until my house in Sisters is ready,” Hope told her. “That’s probably weeks away…or longer.”
Natalia nodded. “Well, I have a feeling this place will sell quickly. This is a desirable neighborhood without many listings. And we’ve priced it well.”
Hope took in a steadying breath, realizing that she really was cutting her ties here. If her condo sold that quickly, there would be no turning back. “Good…I guess that’s good.”
“Of course it’s good. And lucky you!”
“What?”
“Moving to Sisters!”
“Oh, yes…well, I hope you’re right.”
“So, what if I wanted to bring the Tylers by tomorrow?” Natalia asked eagerly. “Before your nephew gets here and you start making messes with packing. Would that be okay?”
“I suppose so. Maybe you could do it earlier in the day. I thought I could get some boxes and start packing tomorrow.”
“Is one early enough? These are church people.”
Love Finds You in Sisters, Oregon Page 19
