“Listen to me, it’s absurd…the things you say to strangers, the things you say to an animal.”
I shook my head and reached inside my backpack for the water bottle and trail mix. While I was munching on the mixture of raisins, peanuts and candy, the wolf’s ears perked up and he rose swiftly. I heard a low growl and dropped my snack.
“What is it?” I whispered.
The wolf bolted until he was out of sight. I gathered up my belongings and raised my hand to guard my eyes against the sun as I scanned the horizon. I saw nothing but the advance of boiling black clouds. I turned to look around but didn’t see the wolf. He was gone. Since the magic had disappeared and darkness was rolling in, I decided to head for home.
When I reached the last hill I felt the first raindrop; rain in January? How unusual. Moments later I saw my Jeep and Haven was leaning against it. His bike was parked nearby and he was covered from head to toe in black. He watched as I maneuvered down the hill.
“What are you doing here?” I scolded. “Did you follow me?”
He seemed amused by my predictable line of questioning. “It doesn’t take much to find you.”
I reached for the door handle on the Jeep but Haven stopped me, suddenly serious. He was staring at my neck with fury. I dropped my hand and looked up at him. “I’m fine, really.”
Haven’s eyes remained severe and his jaw was taut. It took him longer than necessary to speak. “You don’t realize how vulnerable you are, do you?”
I pursed my lips together and shook my head. “All I know is you’re unpredictable.”
“You’re right,” he said seriously. “You like it that way.”
“Not funny,” I cautioned.
Haven’s face sobered even more. “You’re getting wet.”
I brushed the moisture from my face. “I’m waterproof.”
Haven opened the door to my Jeep. “Get in,” he ordered.
Obediently I climbed in. Haven closed the door behind me and walked around to the other side.
“Great, my blankets wet too,” I complained as I attempted to get comfortable. Haven opened the passenger door and sat down beside me. We sat in mutual silence as we listened to the rain beat down, lightly at first and then forcefully. In seconds it seemed we had no visibility outside as our commingled breath fogged the windows. Cold began to seep through my wet clothes and I started the engine hoping to generate some heat.
Haven’s contemplative gaze wandered over me, taking in my wet braid, damp sweater and the jeans that clung to me like a second skin. His eyes seemed dark and probing. I tried not to react in a manner he could detect.
“Take your clothes off,” he demanded.
I laughed out loud. “Excuse me?”
I watched him as he unzipped his wet jacket.
“After you,” I teased.
Haven didn’t answer but he placed his jacket into the back seat and removed the black hoodie he had on underneath. I tried not to but I couldn’t help but notice his extraordinary form. I bit my lip and tried not to flush. I didn’t want him to notice that I noticed so I kept dropping my eyes. I also couldn’t have imagined that he seemed to be enjoying our unspoken interlude. While he passed me his hoodie he kept his white undershirt on. He knowingly grinned, as if he were reading my thoughts.
“Your turn,” he insisted.
“Only when you look away.”
I suddenly felt very shy. Even though his head was turned I could see the corner of his mouth curve. Satisfied he couldn’t see anything I peeled the wet sweater over my head and unbuttoned my jeans. I began to shiver as the cold seeped into my skin. I reached for the hoodie and pulled it on over my head. Instantaneously his scent assaulted me, causing the blood to rush through my veins. I sat there dazed, breathing him in like perfume. I left the hood over my head and pulled my legs up under the hoodie as I tried to warm myself. With my teeth clattering I said, “You can look now.”
I closed my eyes as I absorbed his smell; my senses were swimming and I was lost in the moment.
“Enjoying yourself?”
My eyes flashed opened as if I had been caught doing something forbidden. I felt Haven place his leather jacket in my lap.
“It’s dry now.”
I nodded and thanked him.
“Last we spoke you promised to tell me everything. Is today the day?”
When Haven didn’t respond I shook my head.
“You promised Haven.”
“And I will keep my promise.”
Haven’s voice lowered. “Keeping information to myself is just as harmful as telling a lie. I worry about how you’ll react.”
His pained expression bothered me.
“Haven, at some time or another, we all hurt someone.”
As I spoke I brought to mind the images of the people I’ve wounded, either directly or indirectly. Remembering their pain I quickly banished the recollections from thought. “I would rather be with someone who has a conscience than someone who doesn’t even care.”
Haven’s demeanor became more aggressive. He reached for me and placed his left hand on my neck until his fingers wound through my hair. With his other hand he reached for my hand and held it. While his fingers lingered in the softness of my untidy braid, it fell loose. He felt the length of my hair and slowly combed through until the tresses fell over my right shoulder. He dropped the last tendril. Longing radiated from his voice, “You never looked lovelier than you do right now...When I touch you I can feel the frailty of your very life. You have an inner strength that surpasses most. What fascinates me about you is how unaware you are of how you affect others.”
With his compliments looming in the air I could hear two things: the rain in its steady drumming downfall, and the beating of two hearts. It was as if my hearing was magnified. I immediately began to feel guilty. If I was as wonderful as he imagined me to be I wouldn’t be so indecisive and I wouldn’t feel as though the happiness of more than one person depended on my ability to make the right choices. Inner strength, he had said. I didn’t have any.
I also felt undeserving of his flattery. I was undeserving. I summoned a reluctant smile for him and looked past him to see sunlight attempting to break through the darkness outside. As fast as the hint of it appeared it disappeared. The rain, which had been pounding, also began to subside leaving cascading rivulets on the windshield. Moments later a rapping on my window shook me from my trance. Instinctively, I locked the door.
“Who could that be?”
“It’s alright, just roll down your window,” Haven said.
Still fogged up with condensation, I rolled it down to see a portly officer bending down to peer inside. He frowned as his eyes swept over me. I handed over my license, insurance and registration when asked and he told us to stay put. A few minutes later he returned and handed me my documents.
“What are you two doing?” It sounded like an accusation.
I was immediately aware of how things must have looked and felt a growing embarrassment. I shot a glance at Haven who seemed to be entertained by this unexpected visit and my ensuing discomfiture.
“Oh,” I stammered. “It’s not how it looks. My friend loaned me his clothes since mine were wet.”
The officer raised an eyebrow and didn’t look entirely convinced. He directed his attention toward Haven. “How old are you?”
Haven told him and they exchanged a few words before the officer left. I had been tempted to ask why he was up this road when there was nothing to see, but I had tamed my curiosity.
“Some luck,” I exclaimed after the officer drove away. “We’re in the middle of nowhere and still manage to draw attention to ourselves.”
Haven looked grave. “For our sakes let’s hope we don’t attract any more.”
Chapter 23
I was in my room getting ready for bed when I picked up the black hoodie Haven had given me. I pressed my face against it and absorbed his smell. I was trying to make sense of my feelings or maybe I was trying
to convince myself to hold onto him. Perhaps that’s why he had given it to me in the first place…
I looked down to see Pandora eyeing me distastefully. Rolling my eyes I laughed and told her she was being silly. I folded the hoodie and placed it over a chair and then I sat down at the vanity, placed my arms on the table and folded my hands together. I looked at my reflection and saw an average young woman with a lot of self-doubt and inner turmoil.
Pandora broke through my self-imposed reverie by growling and acting agitated. She lunged at the window and barked. I got up and approached the window but I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a pair of eyes staring into my room. I let out a gasp and covered my mouth. I looked closer and saw Haven perched on a branch. When I saw him smiling at me I covered my face and motioned to him that I would be right back. He dropped his head and grinned as I took hold of Pandora and opened the door. The scent of chocolate wafted up the stairs. Anne was baking so she would be up for a while. I ushered Pandora downstairs and Anne peaked around the corner of the kitchen with a spatula in her hand. “Everything alright?” she asked.
“Of course, I’m going to listen to music and read for a bit.”
Nodding, Anne licked the spatula and winked at me, “Only the best for my niece on her birthday!”
I waved goodnight to her and closed the door. Shaking my head with silent laughter I went to the window and opened it as quietly as I could. Haven, in his black attire, entered and lowered the window behind him.
“Great timing,” I told him and then I dropped my eyes as I wondered how long he was perched on the limb outside. “How long were you outside?”
“Long enough,” he teased.
“That’s not funny…” I scolded.
His features responded with amusement and he raised an eyebrow. He extended his hand to me, “Come here.”
As soon as I approached him, he put his arm around my waist and raised the window with his other hand. He looked down at me as my mouth dropped.
“Ready?” His grin was devious.
Before I could respond he swung out the window with great force and with a twist in midair, landed on the roof. I had meant to scream but my voice was lodged in my throat, along with my heart. My legs began to shake but I found myself laughing.
“I should rebuke you for that!”
Through my laughter I tried to catch my breath. “Can we do it again!?”
Haven’s deep chuckle echoed in the night. He loosened his hold around my waist as I readjusted my nightgown. His face was pale and beautiful in the light glow of the moonlight. He was looking at me thoughtfully. “Anything you want. I wish for you to be happy, like you are right now.”
“I am. I really am!”
The night was vast and the cold was severe, but I was warm. I could feel the wind whip my hair around my face but I felt completely free. The dark was so immense I could barely see. I lifted my face and could make out the dim forms of distant stars that occasionally peaked through the veil of clouds. I began walking backwards, consumed with the night. I felt the edge of the roof and steadied myself as I briefly lost my balance. Almost immediately I felt Haven’s form next to mine. Holding his hand, I turned and looked over to see the illumination from the porch light below.
“Careful now,” Haven cautioned as he drew me back from the edge.
“Catch me, if you can,” I dared.
I broke free and dashed across the sloped roof. I hoped Anne wouldn’t hear a thing as I felt weightless and my feet barely made a sound. As I ran I felt ice and I began to fall. Once again Haven caught me but this time when I opened my eyes he was staring into mine, unsmilingly. His body was pressed down on mine and his hands were resting by the side of my head. As we stared at each other, words unspoken, I saw his eyes darken dangerously. His gaze flickered to my mouth and I could feel my heart begin to race and a warmth flood over me. I pushed him away and we both sat up. He sighed heavily. “For so long I’ve let one desire negate the other. I thought you wanted it like I do.”
“I don’t know what I want,” I said into the night.
We sat in stillness and absorbed the ambiance. The wind blew around us and the warmth I had felt was replaced by a deep chill. He seemed to know.
“I have something for you,” he said.
Rising simultaneously he led me to the edge and disappeared into the darkness. I held myself to keep warm and within a couple minutes he emerged.
Noticing the speculation written across my face he grinned and beckoned me towards him. This time he lowered me to a limb on the tree nearest my bedroom window and helped me inside. While Haven closed the window behind us I reached for a blanket and wrapped it around me. Haven turned and pulled out a large square frame wrapped in brown paper. He untied the string and removed the packaging. My mouth dropped as I gasped in surprise.
Haven looked pleased as he unveiled the painting of the Grey Guardian. Tears threatened to spill over and I covered my mouth as I stared at the portrait of the beautiful Indian girl and her mysterious Wolf companion. I thought Benjamin had sold it months ago. I peeled my eyes away to look at Haven.
“You knew even then?”
He nodded.
I didn’t know what to say. I was overcome with surprise. I walked over to him and reached out to hold his hand. With one hand he held the painting and with the other he dropped mine to pull me in close to him.
“Happy Birthday,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes and smiled with contentment.
Chapter 24
I had gone to sleep without effort and had slept through the night. As dreams slipped from memory I opened my eyes. I could hear the rain beat lightly on my window and I glanced outside to see dreary skies and a thin blanket of fog. I frowned as I saw the clock. I had overslept. It was almost eleven. Anne was in the kitchen and my stomach rumbled as I smelled the rich, savory scent of bacon. I called down to her to let her know I was up. I knew Anne had plans for us that evening so I looked through my closet with care. I picked out a red wrap dress and left it hanging on the closet door. I also spotted the garnet ring on my dresser. I immediately thought of Reece but even though I was reminded of him every time I saw it, he was with me in thought every day anyway. Some people you just can’t escape.
After showering I set my hair in hot rollers and went downstairs wrapped in my robe. Anne laughed when she saw me and approached me with her arms spread wide. She embraced me and I hugged her back. While Anne piled crisp slices of maple bacon on a plate and assembled two biscuits with eggs and cheese I hurried up the stairs to remove the rollers. My long dark hair was rich and full as I combed through it. I tossed my head and was satisfied with the thick, shiny waves. I looked in the mirror and saw my dad’s reflection instead of my own. He should be here.
I recalled past birthdays and the red velvet cupcake he would set before me after a birthday dinner of chicken fried steak. Each year it was the same. Dad liked tradition.
I ran my fingers through my hair one more time and turned on my heel to go downstairs. Anne had decorated the small table beautifully with a red table cloth, white china, white napkins and two votive candles in glass jars. Next to the candles sat a gold gift bag. She insisted on serving me despite my pleas to the contrary and I thanked her as she placed the plate of hearty food before me. She poured a bubbling red drink into a wine glass and announced it as being a sweet pomegranate fizz.
“Mmm, that’s delicious.” I raised the glass and thanked her.
She set her own drink down and gently pushed the gift bag in front of me.
“Aren’t you going to open it?” she encouraged impatiently. “I can hardly wait myself.”
I grinned at her eagerness and moved my plate to the side. I placed the bag in my lap and pulled out a brown leather book. It was slender and weathered. On the lower right hand corner were the initials C. A. S.
“Connor Alan Scott,” I whispered.
I looked up to see Anne smiling, but along with her gentle smile I saw tea
rs in her eyes.
“Open it,” she suggested as she dabbed the corner of her eye.
I could smell the old leather as I opened the journal and immediately I was struck by my dad’s penmanship. Oh, what a gift! What a treasure! Before me were his written thoughts…
I never had a desire to journal before but this was a wedding present from my bride.
Tanith and I were married a few days ago at a courthouse in Colorado Springs. She insisted the affair be intimate and casual but beneath her selfless claims I know she would have liked to have had her family there.
Her dress had been simple, something inexpensive off a store rack but no woman could have matched her in beauty. I wish I could have given her more, like she deserves. I don’t have much to offer her but she said she had everything because she had me. How did I get so lucky?
A tear fell on the page and I quickly brushed it away with my napkin.
“I didn’t know he had this…how could I not have known?”
Anne covered my hand with hers. “He had given it to me a couple of years ago and said he wanted you to have it when the time was right. He said the journal would tell you about the love he shared with your mother.”
My brows lifted in confusion.
“Dad died of a heart attack. How could he have known he wouldn’t be here when I turned eighteen?”
“He didn’t know but your dad was a thorough man. He made plans and he prepared just in case.”
I didn’t feel like eating the rest of my breakfast. I held the journal close to me and looked out the window.
“I doubt I could ever receive a gift to match this one as long as I live. If you’ll excuse me, I want to go into the living room and read some more.”
Willow Page 14
