by Gia Riley
“What about the flowers and the reception? And the cake?”
“You can pick out all of that. But we probably won’t need many decorations. Every hotel east of the Mississippi will look like Christmas threw up all over it. It’ll be easy this time of year.” He grabs me by the waist and pulls me against his warm chest. “Say yes, baby. Say you’ll marry me for Christmas.”
Grabbing his face in my hands, there’s nothing I want more than to be with him for the rest of my life. He’s been my whole world for years, and he’s going to be my happily ever after, too. “Yes, Connor! I’ll marry you.”
He presses his lips to mine, devouring my mouth as he lifts me off the ground and spins us around. The warmth that settles in my stomach erases any doubts that we’re rushing into this. I put that smile on his face, and I’ll keep it there for as long as I live.
But now, as I pace around the waiting room thinking about some of the most satisfying moments of our lives, the warmth I felt in my stomach has been replaced by regret. As I slide down the wall, I wait for my butt to hit the carpet before I close my eyes and pretend I’m anywhere but here.
“Megan,” Vanessa whispers as she sits down beside me.
I open my eyes, but I can’t look at her. Instead, I tell her, “Once Laney is out of surgery, and as soon as she can go home, I’m taking her away for a little while. Just the two of us.”
I need to get out of this town before something else happens, and before Connor has a chance to hurt either one of us more than he already has. I don’t want to look at his face or stare into the eyes of the man I’ve loved for more than half of my life. The only thing I want is for him to disappear.
Vanessa reaches for my hand and sets it in her lap. “Megan, you can’t run. You need to face Connor whether he’s behind bars or sitting in your living room. You won’t want to hear this, but Laney needs stability. Her world is blowing up around her, too.”
Is she serious right now? Connor can have the house regardless of whether he’s in jail or not. Because as far as I’m concerned, it’s filled with lies. And if I have any say in how long he rots, it’s going to be for a very long time.
“My daughter needs a parent, Vanessa. One who will love her and keep her safe. We both know I’m the only one capable of that.”
“You can do whatever you want. Just don’t run. It’ll only make my job harder and make you look bad. You can’t give him any ammunition to use against you.”
Her eyes plead with me to listen, and I hear every word she’s saying, loud and clear. I get it, I have to stay here, where I don’t want to be, if I want to keep Connor away from Laney for good. As natural as it feels to do the exact opposite, I can’t.
Through gritted teeth, and with more resolve than I knew I possessed, I tell Vanessa, “I’ll stay, but Laney’s never going to see her father again. I don’t care what the court rules, Connor’s done.”
As the words leave my mouth, they’re punctuated with every beat of my heart. A panic attack brews beneath my breastbone, and my chest squeezes so tightly, it’s hard to find my next breath. How could he do this to me? I trusted him. I honestly trusted him with every ounce of my soul.
“When Laney asks why we’re moving, what am I supposed to tell her?”
Vanessa turns so her back is against the wall. Her feet reach a few more inches than mine, and that little bit of height difference makes me feel safer—like she somehow has this under control and will protect me from the damage.
Despite having it under control, she doesn’t sugarcoat things when she tells me, “If we play our cards right, we can nail Connor for so many things. If we do, you won’t have to worry about him ever again, I promise.”
“Okay,” I tell her. “That’s what I want.”
“You and Laney can stay with me until it’s all said and done with.”
As she links our fingers together, I try my hardest to make this aching pain in my chest disappear. “I appreciate the offer, but you live too far from Laney’s school. I can’t move her out of her home and pull her out of her class, too. She loves her teacher.”
“Well, if you change your mind, the offer will always stand. I’ll do anything for you and Laney, Megan.”
“As long as you promise this is a fight I can win, I can do this. But it’s going to take some time to wrap my head around these changes. I feel like I’ve been sleepwalking through life and I’m waking up for the very first time. I can’t afford to make more mistakes.”
I won’t fail Laney again because from the moment I held her in my arms, I promised her every move I made, I would have her best interests at heart. I’m not letting Connor take that promise away from my daughter.
It took us years to get pregnant, and from the moment I glanced at the first ultrasound, watching her little heart flicker on the screen, I knew I would live my life for her.
Until this week, I thought I had the perfect family. We were The Campbell’s—party of three.
Garrett
AS SOON AS LANEY’S SURGERY is over, I make sure my first stop is to see Megan. I told her I’d put her out of her misery the first chance I got, and I’m more than ready to see her sweet smile. But as soon as the elevator doors open, and I notice her rocking back and forth on the waiting room floor with her head in her hands. I feel like shit for not be able to finish the surgery sooner.
Taking a step closer, I watch as Vanessa holds her sister’s hand and rubs her arm for support. Megan was okay when I left her—nervous, but not panicking the way she is right now.
Vanessa notices me first, and as soon as we make eye contact, I know. A moment of understand passes between the two of us, and even though it’s the worst possible time she could have told her sister the truth about her marriage, I’m relieved I’m not the one who had to tell her.
There was never going to be a perfect time to break Megan’s heart, but their conversation must have taken an unexpected turn if Vanessa decided to tell her today.
“Megs,” I say, as calmly as possible as I crouch down in front of her.
“Garrett, what time is it?” she asks in a rush as she scrambles to her feet. “Is Laney, okay? Can I see her?”
“She’s perfect, breathe,” I tell her.
Swallowing the lump her throat, Megan nods and waits for me to continue.
“Considering Laney came close to losing her right leg, I’m thrilled with how well the surgery went. The vascular surgeon worked alongside me like we talked about. He was there the entire time, and he’s hopeful there won’t be any permanent nerve damage or numbness.”
“Thank God,” she whispers. “And you were able to fix everything else like you said? Her bones will be able to heal now?”
“Yes, exactly like we talked about. She’ll be ready for physical therapy before you know it.”
She hugs her sister and smiles before turning back to me. “Thank you, Dr. Kristoff.”
I stuff my hands into my pockets, hating that she’s being so formal. But I get it, there are other people in the waiting room, and it wouldn’t make a good impression on my part if I grabbed my patient’s mother and held her the way I want to. Still, I hate that we look like two strangers when we have years of history behind us.
“You’re okay?” I ask her before I leave.
She rolls her ankle in a circle, kicking the carpet with the tip of her shoe. “What’s wrong with your foot?”
“It’s asleep from sitting on the floor.”
It’s a loaded question, but I ask her, “Why were you on the floor?”
When she doesn’t say anything, and when she won’t look at me, I bend down, determined to find her eyes.
“I’m fine, Garrett,” she says, still refusing to look at me.
I’m not convinced she’s anything close to okay. But she used my first name, and I can’t figure out how something so simple can make me feel so damn good. I have no idea how to bridge this awkward gap between being Laney’s physician and Megan’s friend without crossing boundar
ies or making it weird, but it doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.
“I should call Mom,” she says to Vanessa before she turns away from us and pulls her phone out of her purse.
Vanessa stares at her sister’s back as she walks away. She feels like absolute shit because even lawyers have soft spots.
“I’m glad you told her,” I tell Vanessa, hoping to take some of the guilt off her shoulders. It’s going to be hell for a while until things with Connor and Laney are worked out, probably long after that, too, but if anyone can handle the task, it’s Vanessa.
She lowers her head when she says, “The last thing I wanted to do today is tell her about Connor. I thought I’d at least wait until tomorrow.”
I understand her dilemma, the struggle between lawyer and sister. I’m going through the same thing. It sucks, but it’s not fair for Vanessa to feel responsible for her sister’s unhappiness, either. Not when Connor’s the one who did the damage. In a perfect world, the truth should have come from him and nobody else.
“It was the right thing to do. Megan needed to know.”
I didn’t realize Megan was listening, but as she moves closer, her eyes are wide with disbelief. “You knew, Garrett?”
I blink a couple times, just staring at her, trying to figure out what to say.
“Is that why you’ve been so nice to me? Because you feel sorry for me?”
Fuck, this is what I was afraid of. By Vanessa telling me first, it lumps me in with the assholes of the world that lie, cheat, and steal their way through life. But I have never purposely lied to Megan, and I sure as hell would never cheat on her if she was mine. Connor’s the only fool stupid enough to do something that pathetic.
“Megs, your sister came to me for help this week—you remember the date I told you about. She knew the truth about your marriage would crush you, so she asked for my help.”
Megan paces back and forth in front of the window with her head tipped back as she tries to process the fact that she’s the last to find out. And the more she paces, the angrier she becomes until she’s in my face, jabbing her finger into the center of my chest. “All this time you’ve known, yet you let me walk around without a goddamn clue. I trusted you, Garrett. Besides my sister, you were the one person I didn’t feel threatened by.”
Vanessa steps in between the two of us, but she directs her words toward her sister. “This isn’t the time or the place, Megan. I went to Garrett because I was scared. I was afraid that telling you the truth would push you over the edge with all you have on your plate with Laney. So, it’s not his fault. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. He’s done nothing wrong.”
Megan listens to every word she says, but I can tell she’s hesitant to trust her sister. I need her to believe we’re telling her the truth. But when her eyes cloud with more tears, I feel like I’m losing her all over again. I practically beg her to forgive me when I tell her, “All I ever want to do is help you, Megs.”
She swipes at the trail of wetness falling down her cheeks. “When can I see Laney?”
It’s not the response I was hoping for, but she’s a woman with a great deal of pride, and right now it’s been crushed pretty damn hard. “I can walk you to Laney’s room. She should be there any minute.”
Giving me the cold shoulder, she says, “Just tell me the room number and the floor. I’ll find it myself.”
The feisty attitude I once loved hurts. I could take a different elevator, one made for staff, but I stand next to her, not letting her get away from me. “Laney’s my patient; I’m going there, anyway.”
The call button is already lit up, but Megan jabs her finger into it a couple times, like pressing it more than once is going to make the elevator get here faster. I’m pretty sure she’d take the stairs to get away from me if she wasn’t in such a hurry to see her daughter.
When the elevator does arrive, and once we step inside, the silence is deafening. “I’m sorry,” I tell her whether it does any good or not. Because I am sorry she has to go through any of this.
She hangs back in the far corner of the elevator, as far away from me as she can get, but her sad eyes still have some fire inside them. “Maybe this is a conflict of interest, Garrett. I can request another doctor if it makes things easier.”
“Easier for who?” I ask as I grab her arm. Her anger is warranted, but if she thinks she can shut me out of her life, or take Laney’s case away from me, she has another thing coming. I’d never jeopardize Laney’s care because of my feelings.
“Garrett, people are staring,” Vanessa whispers as she holds the elevator door open and watches our little train wreck unfold.
When it comes to Megan, I’ve never been able to keep my head on straight. I should care enough about my job to follow hospital code and make sure I keep business separate from pleasure. But I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks of me. All I care about is how she feels and what she thinks when she looks at me.
I let go of her arm, but I can’t back away from her. “Megan.”
It takes her a few seconds to shed her stubbornness. Eventually, she gives me her undivided attention, and I feel like I won the smallest piece of her back. “What?” she says.
“Just listen to me, this isn’t about Connor.”
“Then what’s it about?”
I lead her out of the elevator, and that’s when she sees where we are. “It’s okay,” I tell her. “Come on.”
As soon as she realizes I’m holding her hand, she drops it. Every time I try not to touch her, that’s exactly what I end up doing.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers before clearing her throat and saying, “I didn’t realize Laney was going to be in the intensive care unit again. I guess I assumed she’d wake up and everything would be like it was.”
It’s my fault I didn’t explain it to Megan as soon as I walked into the waiting room. I was too caught up in the fact that Vanessa told her about Connor to do my damn job. “She’s fine, Megs. I promise. It’s standard procedure following the surgery.”
She swallows so slowly I can see the muscles in her neck contract. “Will you show me where she is?”
“Of course.” I hate that she’s picturing how terrible Laney looked when she got to the hospital. How she had to find her daughter in the ICU, hooked up to machines, as strangers took care of her.
Laney doesn’t look half as bad as she did then, but it’s still going to be hard for Megan to walk into a room with her daughter knocked out from the medication.
She grips the side of Laney’s bed and bites her lip. “Can I touch her?” she asks.
“Yes, she’s okay, Megan. She’s not going to be in any pain, we’ll make sure of it. I promise I’ll sign the papers to move her out of here as soon as she’s ready.”
Megan’s eyes soften when she realizes I’ll always have her daughter’s best interests at heart no matter what we argue about. “I know you will. Thank you, Garrett.”
Even though she doesn’t want me to touch her, I squeeze her shoulder, a little silent thank you of my own.
She turns her head and watches as I walk out of the room. When I’m almost in the hallway, she says, “I’m sorry.”
I stop moving, probably breathing, too. Looking over my shoulder, I tell her, “If Vanessa hadn’t told you by then, I was going to sit you down after Laney’s surgery. Not today, maybe not even tomorrow, but as soon as you were both stronger, I was going to tell you everything.”
“Do you mean that?”
“Yes,” I tell her, needing her to believe me. “Connor isn’t my business, I get that, but ever since Laney came here and I started treating her, you became my business, Megan.”
She listens, and slowly, her grayish blue eyes climb up my body. Like she’s never seen me wearing scrubs before, she covers every inch of me. Maybe she’s trying to make sure I’m real, or that I’ll really be here for her like I say I will, but she’s trying like hell to figure me out.
“You’re right about
one thing. My life with Connor isn’t your business,” she says with a shaky voice. “It’s nobody’s business, but I always need the truth, Garrett. Please, don’t keep anything from me ever again.”
For her pride’s sake, I can agree it’s between her and Connor. But as she stares at my hands, like she’s remembering what they feel like wrapped around her, she shivers. That one tiny bit of movement does crazy things to my pride. Deep down, I haven’t lost her at all. Her trust is still dangling by a thread, but she’s waiting for me to make it right again. And with enough time, I’ll make her world whole again. She’ll see what true happiness really is.
“I’ll check on Laney after my next case. Her nurses have all my post-op instructions.”
“Okay,” she says as Laney’s eyes flutter open. “I think she’s waking up.”
“Hey, Megs,” I say as she reaches for Laney’s hand.
A piece of her blond hair covers half her face, but she blows it away from her eye and says, “Yeah?”
“Today doesn’t change anything. I still expect you to use the key.”
Megan
THE NEXT TWO DAYS PASS with little from Garrett. I’ve spoken to him as Dr. Kristoff, but our relationship as Garrett and Megan still remains strained.
He’s pulled back, putting some distance between us, and I get why he’s doing it—I haven’t been the nicest or the most understanding this past week. Even after all he’s done for Laney, I was rude to him.
Despite my regret for being upset with him when he was only trying to help, I’m still having trouble wrapping my mind around Connor’s betrayal and keeping those feelings separate from Garrett.
Laney’s stopped asking for Connor. That should worry me, but it’s been a relief. Every time she would ask if he was coming to see her, or if we could go see him, I told her the same thing. He’s still with his doctor in the hospital. She bought it even though I have no idea where Connor really is.
In my heart I want to believe that if he could, he’d have come to the hospital as soon as he was discharged from Memorial. But I’ll never know what decision he would have made because it was made for him. He had no choice when they took him to jail, or any control over when he comes and goes.
