Who am I kidding? The only reason I’m even talking to Joe about working with him is because of Katia.
On the face of it, Katia had never purported to be anything more than his insurance agent and his friend. He believed she didn’t have a romantic relationship with Jack, if what he’d observed and what she’d told him was accurate. As far as Austin could tell, there wasn’t another man in Katia’s life.
And that was the point.
Austin wasn’t in her life, either.
Katia had proved that she was his friend, but each time they’d moved one ministep beyond that, she’d put on the brakes. She’d jumped back from him faster than an Arizona jackrabbit. During the preparations for the Candlelight Tour, and on that very night, Austin had thought that they were moving to a new level. He could have sworn that when she looked into his eyes when they were standing together at the front door that she was on the verge of telling him she loved him.
He’d seen that open, vulnerable look of love in her eyes long ago. She was the Katia of their youth, full of life and love that she wanted to give to him alone. His heart had responded by practically pounding its way out of his chest. He’d held his breath, waiting for her to say the words. He could still feel his arm around her. Smell the perfume she wore when he’d placed his lips close to her ear.
And then it had happened.
Her eyes had turned to ice. Her muscles had stiffened, and she’d pushed his hand away as if he was contagious. He’d felt unwanted. Unloved.
Being the glutton for punishment that he was obviously becoming, he’d invited her to dinner. What a disaster that had been. If he’d had any doubt that Katia didn’t want him in her life, that conversation had nailed it. She’d even given him his key back. It was over.
Austin had stared at her in disbelief as she’d walked out the door. He felt just as he had when she’d abandoned him once before. He’d vowed he would never put himself in such a precarious position again. He would never believe again. He would never allow anyone to hurt him like Katia had.
This time it had been Katia, once more, who had inflicted the pain.
Austin hated feeling like an idiot. Since the only person who’d made him feel this way—twice—was Katia, the answer was to erase her from his life.
But she lived on the same street as he did and worked nearly as close, her friends were his friends and Indian Lake was a small place. He was bound to see her far too often. Moving out of town was a clear choice. He could still honor the insurance contracts. He wouldn’t take that away from her. She’d worked hard, and her coverage was the best deal he could find.
The more Austin thought about his situation, the more he realized that Katia, Joe and Vicki were right. It was time for Austin to make his own mark on the world and accomplish something that he could be proud of. In truth, he’d probably done everything he could in Indian Lake. He’d hit his own glass ceiling.
He needed new challenges and new adventures. Even if he were to find out that Katia still had feelings for him, what could he offer her, really? A man who was still searching for himself?
Then he thought of Thanksgiving at Mrs. Beabots. Of course Katia could not commit to him. He’d been living in the shadow of the past more than he’d realized.
Thanksgiving night, Gabe and Liz had announced they were going to have a baby. Liz’s face had been filled with love, and he’d immediately compared her expression to Katia’s, when he’d seen unconditional love in her eyes. At that moment, Austin had realized that he wanted a family of his own. But he only wanted children with Katia. He only wanted to be with Katia. But what could he teach his children when he didn’t understand very much about himself? How could he teach them to reach for their dreams when he hadn’t done it himself?
Perhaps all these upheavals he’d experienced since Katia had returned to Indian Lake were showing him that he’d come to a new fork in the road. It was time to take the path less taken. The tracks his father and grandfathers had laid for him were worn.
Taking a deep breath of desert air, Austin felt vibrant and more alive than he had in years. He picked up his glass of port and held it up to Joe. “Let’s toast. To new beginnings.”
“What?” Joe was incredulous. “You mean you’re actually going to do this?”
Vicki’s delight was tangible. “This is truly the best New Year’s ever! I’m so happy.”
“So am I,” Austin said truthfully. “I’ll figure out a way to make it work, but you have no idea how thrilled I am right now.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
BRILLIANT AZURE SKIES and a radiant sun melted the snow from the sidewalks as Katia walked to work. It was only mid-February, but the mild weather teased the promise of an early spring. It had been over a month since Katia had received a text from Austin telling her he would be remaining in Arizona most of the winter. He’d given no explanation other than that he was “working remotely.” She’d answered with a text probing for more information, but his only reply was to ask that all his insurance paperwork be scanned and emailed to him.
Katia had paced the floor late at night, going over dozens of scenarios and reasons why Austin would act so out of character. She knew Mrs. Beabots’s revelation about his great-grandfather’s lack of contribution to the Duesenberg automobiles had been a substantial blow. She just hadn’t realized it had been enough to change the course of Austin’s life—and her own.
She’d gone to Austin’s house to interrogate Daisy, but as pleasant and as fun as Daisy was, she had nothing to add to the puzzle. Austin had told his housekeeper that he was working on a “new deal” and had asked her to ship him a box of clothing and his new tennis shoes. Other than that, everything about his disappearance from Indian Lake was a mystery.
Daisy had told Katia that Austin had asked her to keep the house running as usual, and there was no discussion about how long he would be gone. She’d also said that in all the years she’d worked for Austin, he’d never been this unpredictable. He was a man of regimen, schedules and dependability.
Austin didn’t do mystery.
This time, Austin was the one to leave Indian Lake with no warning, and Katia was the one to feel rejected. Being friends with Austin would never be enough for her. She wished she’d done something to make him understand just how much she loved him. In her mind, she was all in, but in actuality, she was far from it. Her choice had hurt them both, and she was to blame—again.
Katia’s angst and confusion caused a near paralysis in her personal life, and her work had never been so difficult. Coming up with original ideas to garner new business for Jack was like pulling teeth. Somehow she managed to do well enough that neither her clients nor her coworkers noticed that she was going through the motions.
Her obsession with Austin was like a mental disorder, and she had no choice but to try to treat it. She’d worked up a list of reasons as to why she chose her work over Austin and recited them in the morning like mantras, hoping they would obliterate the growing unease she felt as she crossed off the days on her calendar. She had no idea when or even if Austin would return to Indian Lake. Once again, she felt that fate had rightly put her in Austin’s shoes. Had he felt like this when she’d left for Chicago? Had he wondered if she’d ever come back to him, if she’d ever try to make amends?
Weeks passed, each day lonelier than the last. Katia told herself that once she’d made her choice, she couldn’t go back on her word.
Yet as the weeks rambled by with little word from Austin, she spun dreams of having enough courage to fly out to Phoenix and confront him. There were times when she’d nearly convinced herself that if he rejected her, she’d be able to live through it.
But she knew she couldn’t. The only thing holding her together was the fantasy that someday she would see Austin again, that eventually he would have to come home. She could only hope that, by then, she would have figured out how to put all the pieces of her shattered life back together.
Flinging her arms around hers
elf to ward off a chill that came from her memories and not the winter air, Katia tried not to think about what she knew in her heart to be true: that she’d lost Austin forever.
* * *
BY THE MIDDLE of the most blustery March in Indian Lake’s history, Katia had begun watching the Weather Channel on the flat-screen television Jack had installed in the reception area, on her computer and on her cell phone app.
The weather announcer was describing yet another severe band of thunderstorms, flash floods and tornados that had touched down in Kansas and Iowa and were headed toward Indiana when Katia’s office phone rang.
“Katia Stanislaus,” she answered, not taking her eyes off the weather map.
“Katia. It’s Austin.”
Katia hit the mute button on the remote and sank into her desk chair. Though she’d received a dozen and a half emails from him, she hadn’t actually spoken to him in weeks. Just the sound of his voice set her heart racing and caused her hands to tremble.
“Austin,” she said breathlessly, no doubt sounding unprofessional. She didn’t care. She was happy to hear from him. She cradled the receiver in both hands and spun her chair around to face the back wall so that nothing would distract her. “Is everything okay?”
“It will be if you can help me,” he replied.
His voice was even and controlled. He didn’t seem as if he was as close to flipping out as she was. She wanted to jump through the phone, but she pulled out her best acting to date and smoothly said, “What can I do for you?”
“This is so not what I should be asking my insurance agent for, but I’m going crazy here. My event planner for the museum opening is apparently double booked and has bailed on me. Daisy practically went postal when I asked her to take over. Olivia is all booked up at the deli. I don’t know what to do.”
Katia cringed when he referred to her as his “agent,” but as he continued, she felt a warm glow spiral through her body. He needed her. Granted, it wasn’t much of a request, but it would keep her in contact with him a few times a day.
“The opening is next week.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” he groaned. “I know it’s a lot to ask—”
“I’ll do it,” she blurted. “I mean, I’ll help you. It’s going to take some real planning.” She turned her chair around to grab a pen and saw the tracking of the storm on the screen. “Austin. I think we should order an enclosed canvas walkway from the parking lot to the museum entrance. We could have some bad weather next week. I think it’s best to be prepared for rain.”
“Fine with me. Any other ideas off the top of your head?”
“I’ll call Maddie and see if she can cater. We don’t need much. Just sandwiches, soda and water...and her cupcakes would be a real hit.”
“I like it,” he replied, sounding pleased. “Oh, and by the way, I called Debra La Pointe. She’s got that theater just south of town. She’s hired actors and tour guides for the opening. Could you call her and double-check that everything is still on schedule with her people?”
“Sure,” she replied, and finally asked the big question. “When are you coming home? Back to Indian Lake?”
“I don’t know. My work here with Joe is nonstop. I must be putting in fourteen-hour days and most of the weekends, and I love it. I don’t know when I’ve been this excited about anything.”
“Not even the museum?”
“Well, maybe in the beginning, but actually, no. Not really.”
“What about the plant?”
“It’s doing great. I promoted Tom to plant manager this morning, and he’s got the place working like a fine-tuned Swiss clock.”
“I don’t suppose you’d want to share what you’re working on?” she coaxed.
“I vowed to my partner I wouldn’t disclose any details.”
Katia felt her heart sink even lower. A partner. Was it a woman? Was this really about his business? Or had she truly shoved Austin away with both hands this time? “I take it this new venture has nothing to do with cars.”
Austin chuckled. “I adore your curiosity, Katia. No, it’s so far from antique cars, you wouldn’t believe it,” he said excitedly. “All I can tell you is that Joe and I have very high hopes.”
Katia realized she was smiling. “I’m thrilled for you, Austin. You sound so...happy,” she said sincerely. Considering how much she missed him, she was surprised at her own reaction. She was genuinely glad that he was doing well. Perhaps that was a sign of how deep her love for him ran. Even though she was miserable without him, she felt joy for him.
Austin reminded her that Hal had agreed to stay on after the last of the construction was completed and that he would handle the placement of the antique cars in Austin’s absence.
Most of the cars from Austin’s carriage houses had been moved, but only three antique cars had arrived from Arizona: a 1957 Thunderbird convertible, a 1943 Cadillac sedan and a 1960 British MG. She knew these weren’t Austin’s most prestigious or expensive cars. Austin told her he would be shipping one car a month, each more rare and valuable to the museum, as a marketing ploy to keep interest high and to bring visitors back to see the new arrivals. Katia thought the plan was a good one.
“I’ll adjust the policies to reflect the reduced initial inventory. You don’t need to pay insurance on something that isn’t there yet.”
“I appreciate that, Katia,” he said. “Listen, I have to run. Let me know the details of the opening as you finalize things. And don’t forget to keep track of your hours and any expenses you incur. I’ll be more than happy to pay you what I was going to pay the event planner, plus a bonus for bailing me out. Oh, and if you call and I don’t pick up, just text me. I can read a text even when I’m in a meeting. I know you’ll make it lovely.”
“Thanks, but you don’t need to pay me. I’m happy to do it.”
“No way. I insist.”
“Austin, isn’t there any way you can be here? This is your creation. The newspapers and bloggers are going to be here, and they’ll all want to interview you.”
“Will Jack let you off for the day so you can oversee things?”
“Sure he will.”
There was a long pause. “I hope so. Anyway, you can handle it. You knew my parents and grew up in their house. You have lots of stories you can give them.”
Katia drummed her fingers on the desk, trying to decide if she should ask the obvious. They were actually talking, and she didn’t want to crank up his anger, but she had to know. Was she the reason he wasn’t coming back?
“Austin, I have to ask you—”
“What?”
Katia’s courage slid away and she asked the second most important question. “Is the reason you’re not going to be here because you don’t want to face the press?”
“No, Katia,” he answered very quickly. “I’m very busy here. I have to go. Bye.”
Katia hung up and slumped back in her chair. Austin still had not told her the nature of his new business in Phoenix. He still didn’t trust her.
Perhaps they had too much history to make a new life together now. Perhaps both of them had tried to blame their shared past for their current disquietude with their lives.
She’d been ashamed and guilt ridden. Austin hadn’t told her in so many words, but he must still hold a grudge against her for leaving. He’d been nursing a broken heart for a long time. If this was a lesson he was trying to force upon her, she deserved it. But it didn’t feel like that. This was different, as if Austin was searching for something that she couldn’t give him.
Whatever it was, it made him happy, and it kept him away from her.
* * *
OVER THE NEXT WEEK, Katia pulled together everything Austin needed for the museum opening, right down to the parking valet service, which she found in Valparaiso. She hired off-duty police for security, emailed every reporter and blogger in the area and, with Maddie’s help, the food was taken care of. She was amazed at what she’d accomplished in five days.
>
Katia was just closing up her desk for the night when her cell phone rang. Her smile felt good, stretching from ear to ear.
“Austin.”
“I’m coming home,” Austin said. “Tonight, on the last plane out of here. I want to beat the storm.”
A thrill went through her body. “Tonight,” she repeated. She’d hinted for days about how important it was for him to be in town for the gala, but he’d shied away from any commitment. His reply had always been the same. He’d told her he was swamped. He’d told her he would “try.” But in the end, he’d left her hanging.
Katia still believed that Austin was ashamed of the flaws in his family legend. She guessed he was afraid to face the media. Austin was the kind of man who would answer their questions truthfully, no matter how much pain they caused him. So she’d figured he would avoid putting himself in that position at all costs.
A hundred different declarations came to Katia’s mind. I can’t wait to see you. I want to hold you. I love you. But she bit back the words. “Good,” she finally said. “Everyone will be glad to see you.”
There was a long pause on his end that caused Katia to hold her breath. She thought that her heart had stopped beating. Please say you want to see me, too.
“I should be back in enough time to catch the shuttle to the train station. I’ve arranged for Daisy to pick me up and take me home.”
Katia felt her heart sink. He hadn’t asked for her help. He didn’t need her. This was precisely what she’d told herself she’d wanted. She’d chosen her career over him. She’d done the right thing for them both.
Oh, yeah? Then, why do I feel so awful...so lost?
She couldn’t falter now. She had to be strong. Funny—she’d never realized that strength could taste so bitter.
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