by Liz Isaacson
Frustration pulled through her as she hugged Celia, because Finn still seemed to be stuck in the center of her mind.
She took the bowls Celia carried and stepped back so the other woman could come into the house. “Come in, come in. It’s freezing out there.”
“Did Eli make it in okay last night?” Celia asked. “I heard they closed the road between here and Jackson.”
“They did,” she said. “But he flew in early and made it before the worst of the storm hit.” She hoped Finn would be able to get to see his daughters. She tried to push the thought away. She didn’t even know what Finn’s plans were for the holiday. They’d broken up nineteen days ago, and she hadn’t yet invited him to any Thanksgiving or Christmas festivities with her or her family.
But she assumed he’d go see Joann and Kimberly. Or have them out to the farm. But with the roads closed, he might be alone today.
Her heart bled, and she seriously considered calling him. No one should be alone on Thanksgiving…. She hesitated, and Celia tied an apron around her waist and said, “Those pies look delicious,” snapping Amanda out of her mind.
“I’m putting the turkey in now,” she said, setting the bowls on the counter for Celia. “You’re doing the stuffing, yes? I have the bread there, and everything you asked for is in the fridge or on the counter.”
“Stuffing,” Celia confirmed. They began working together in the kitchen, and Amanda’s heart started to fill and fill. This was what she wanted. Her house filled with love and laughter. Friends and family. The scent of sage and butter, browning bread and hot pumpkin pie.
They chatted easily about happenings around town, including the announcement of a new shopping mall coming to town.
“Coral Canyon is growing so much,” Celia said.
“I actually like it,” Amanda said. “We’re getting good restaurants, and I love having more options for shopping.”
“You know what?” Celia asked with a smile. “So do I.”
“How’s your daughter?” Amanda asked, but before Celia could answer, a little boy yelled and footsteps pounded down the steps.
Amanda laughed and went to greet Stockton, who had Averie following him as quickly as her little legs could carry her. “Guys,” she said. “Who wants breakfast?” She didn’t see Meg or Eli, and she hoped they’d take the chance to sleep in a little. “I have some of that chocolate cereal you like, Stocky.”
He cheered, and Amanda’s heart warmed as he helped Averie up onto the barstool. Amanda got out two bowls and fed her grandchildren before getting back to work peeling potatoes. Lunch wasn’t for another few hours, but it took a colossal amount of work to get every dish done at the same time for the number of people who’d be eating with her that day.
The time wore on, and Eli finally appeared to take the children upstairs to shower and get ready for the day.
Graham and his family arrived, followed closely by Beau and Andrew, their wives and children. Amanda couldn’t stop smiling, and tears kept springing to the back of her eyes at the strangest of times.
She couldn’t shake Finn from her mind, though no one asked about him. He probably wouldn’t even be able to drive here, if the roads were really that bad.
Vi and Todd arrived, saying the snow had finally stopped and the sun was shining. Rose, Liam, and Jack and Fran Everett came bearing freshly baked rolls. Amanda took them and put them on the counter before giving hugs around to everyone. Then she quickly ducked into the mudroom and tapped out a text to Finn.
Are you alone today? You’re welcome at my house for Thanksgiving dinner. We’re eating in about an hour.
She stared at the letters, making sure they were all right. Her heart thumped in her chest. She wasn’t sure if she should send this message. Would he find her overbearing? Maddening? Would he simply be annoyed by it?
Amanda thought she probably would be, and there was no way she’d ever drive to his house for a holiday party simply because she was alone. As if she was an afterthought.
So she quickly erased the text and looked up from her phone. Taking a deep breath, she stared at the wall across from her.
“Mom?” Graham called, and she sniffed, holding back her tears.
“Yeah,” she said as she stepped out of the mudroom. “I’m here.”
“Celia says there’s no more butter.”
“I bought tons of butter,” Amanda said, returning to the kitchen. Graham stepped in front of her.
“Hey, are you okay?” He put his arm around her.
Amanda leaned into him, stealing a bit of strength from her older son. He was the same height and build as her husband, and so many memories and feelings surged to the surface. “Yes,” she said, her voice breaking. “I just…I’m so happy everyone’s here.”
She stepped back and wiped her face. “I’m okay. I am.”
“All right,” he said, stepping out of the way. “Better go solve that butter emergency.”
Chapter Twenty
Finn kept the news on as he put the finishing touches on the dips he’d been asked to bring to Thanksgiving dinner. Kim had called last night to say the roads had been closed, and they could postpone their noon start time to four o’clock.
Jackson Hole sat an hour and a half away, and he needed to leave soon in order to make it on time. He knew he could make it to Coral Canyon, and the road between there and Jackson was usually plowed first.
So he listened, hoping he’d be able to make it to the celebration at his daughter’s house. He enjoyed the silence inside his own home too, but he didn’t want to give thanks alone. Not today. Not after the last few weeks where he’d had his fill of silence, of being alone, of wondering why he’d thought opening himself up to a relationship was a good idea.
He finally learned that the roads were open, but four-wheel-drive and chains were recommended. Another storm was expected overnight, and Finn loaded up his dips and boxes of crackers and headed out.
Along the way, he called a hotel he’d stayed at several times in Jackson Hole and booked a room for that night. As soon as that was finished, he called Zach, his best friend in Dog Valley. They worked together in the spring to get their farms back in shape after a long winter.
“Are you in town?” he asked, as Zach had as much money as him and traveled sometimes.
“Yeah,” Zach said. “Need help in all the snow?”
“Yes,” Finn said, squinting as the sun made an appearance and started glinting off all the fresh snowfall. “I’m headed to my daughter’s house in Jackson right now. I’m going to stay the night. Wondering if you can get over to the farm tonight and check on everyone. Let the dogs out. Go back in the morning. Or you can just stay at my place.”
“Sure,” Zach said. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Thanks,” Finn said, relief filling him. “I’ll be back by noon, I would think. I’ll let you know if I’m not.” With another storm coming in, he had no idea what the weather or road conditions would be like in the morning.
“Sounds good,” Zach said.
“Thanks.” Finn hung up, glad he had a few things taken care of. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was also glad he could think about something besides the farm for the next twenty-four hours.
He absolutely loved his farm, and normally he didn’t mind the work the animals and land required. But it would be nice to go on vacation every once in a while and not have to make special arrangements, worry that his diva horses wouldn’t eat, or that a chicken would freeze to death because the heat lamps had to be adjusted just-so.
With the radio on loud, he continued toward Jackson Hole, ready to see his daughters and be with people.
The last few weeks without Amanda had been extremely difficult, and Finn had cut himself off from others completely. He hadn’t been to church, and he’d been relying on the grocery delivery service so he didn’t even have to go shopping.
It wasn’t healthy, and he didn’t like how he felt. But he didn’t know what to do about it.
/> “You sure know how to pick ‘em,” he muttered to himself, knowing he wasn’t being entirely fair. Maybe with Tiffany, who had only wanted to inherit his money. But how was he to know Amanda wasn’t truly ready to move on?
She’d been dating for years, which was more than he’d done. She’d seemed ready, and he once again considered selling his farm. He could sell the horses to other breeders, pack up everything he owned, and show up on her doorstep. He’d beg her to take him back, and tell her he’d live wherever she wanted, as long as they were together.
But he was too proud to do such a thing.
At least the long drive passed quickly with thoughts of Amanda in his mind. Kim dashed out to help him bring in the food he’d brought, all smiles and hellos. His spirits lifted at the sight of family, at the warmth that spilled from the front door as he went inside her house.
“Dad,” she said just inside the door. “My boyfriend is here.”
“No ring yet?” Finn whispered, glancing around.
“Not yet, Dad.” She nodded toward a dark-haired man standing in the kitchen with another man Finn didn’t know. “Everyone,” she called in a loud voice. “My dad is here.” She stepped toward the kitchen with the armful of crackers, a wide smile on her face. “His name’s Finn, and he’s the best horse trainer in the world.”
Smiling faces turned toward him, and he lifted his hand in a general hello. Kim had invited anyone from her church group that didn’t have somewhere else to go, and seven people had gathered besides Kim, Joann, and Kim’s boyfriend.
She linked her arm through his and guided him over to Finn, who set down the two bowls of dips he’d prepared. “Dad,” she said. “This is Josiah Crawley. Jos, my dad.”
“It’s great to meet you, sir,” Jos said, extending his hand for Finn to shake.
He had a good air about him, and Finn smiled at him. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” He shook the man’s hand. “Own a deli, is that right?”
“Yes, sir.”
“You don’t have to call him sir,” Kim said with a laugh.
“You really don’t,” Finn said. “Makes me feel old, like my dad.”
“You are old, Dad,” Kim teased.
Finn chuckled as he lifted his cowboy hat and ran his hand through his hair. “I suppose I’m grayer than I used to be.”
“You should see Mom,” Joann said, stepping over to the group. “And she refuses to cover it up.”
“I think she looks good,” Kim said.
“What’s she doing for the holiday?” Finn asked. “Something with Heath’s parents?”
“Yes, they’re going on a church-service mission in January, so they’re trying to spend as much time with them as possible.” Joann handed him a tall glass of sparkling cider. “It’s apple-grape, Daddy.”
“Thanks, princess.” He took a sip, glad to be here and not alone.
“See Clara over there?” Joann edged around him until she was nearly behind him. “She’s only a couple of years younger than you. Now that you and Amanda aren’t—”
“No,” Finn said, a little harsher than he meant to.
“Dad, you deserve someone great.”
Amanda was great, and he didn’t want anyone else. He hadn’t mentioned that to Joann or Kim, and he’d let them assume that she had turned out to be like Tiffany. Kim had suggested it, and Finn hadn’t argued.
“Dad—” Joanna started, her eyes wide and earnest.
“Girls,” he said. “I need to tell you something.” He closed their little circle and glanced at Jos as he cleared his throat. “I broke up with Amanda. Not the other way around. And she has more money than I do, so it wasn’t because of that.”
Joann’s mouth gaped, and Kim gasped. “Dad. Why? You liked her so much.”
“I know,” he said. “But our lives…it’s really hard to merge lives and memories and families when you’re as old as we are.” He shook his head, an overwhelming sadness descending on him. “It just didn’t work out. She…she’d have to give up too much to be with me, and she didn’t want to do it.”
Joann hugged him tight, and Finn welcomed the action. “So she broke up with you, then.”
“No.” He stepped back, his stomach grumbling. “I ended it with her so she wouldn’t have to choose. After all, no one wants to come in second to a house.” And she hadn’t done that, but he still knew what Amanda would’ve picked.
And that knowledge burned more than anything.
He made it back to his farm the next day without issue. Another day bled into another night, and then a new morning. November faded to December, and his daughters would be spending the Christmas holidays with their mother.
Finn returned to church, hoping there would be someone willing to take in strays like Kim had done in Jackson Hole for Thanksgiving. He often attended a function like that, taking the Goodman sisters with him. With only a couple of weeks left, he hadn’t heard of anything this year.
His other option was to return to Kentucky and visit his parents. They were getting older, but his mother had assured him that his father was just as stubborn and just as invested in his horses.
He knew if he called his mother and asked if he could come, she’d probably faint. Then she’d pick herself up and buy his plane ticket for him. She’d invited him to come visit dozens of times, and he hadn’t been home in twenty years. Not since he’d retired from the software industry, his billions already in the bank, and started his farm here in Dog Valley.
The phone rang, and then his mother said, “Finn, it’s good to hear from you.”
“Hello, Mother,” he said.
“How are the horses?”
“Fine, fine,” he said, suddenly thinking he’d owe Zach something huge to get him to come take care of the farm if he flew to Kentucky and Barber Farms. He wasn’t sure he could make that drive down those lanes with the blindingly white fences.
At the same time, it was definitely time to do so.
“What are your plans for the holidays?” he asked.
“Rhonda and Jones are coming,” she said. “But the week after. They’re going to their daughter’s for the actual holiday to watch darling Jasmine open her gifts.”
Finn would like to see his sister again, so he said, “I’d like to come while they’re there.”
Silence came through the line. “Is this Finn?” his mother finally asked.
Finn chuckled, though he knew he’d removed himself from his family. He was on speaking terms with his sister, his mother, and even his father. He knew about his nieces and nephews, as well as their children.
He just didn’t go to much. Anything. He didn’t go to anything.
“They’re coming the twenty-seventh,” she said. “There’s plenty of room for you here. It’s still just you?”
He knew she didn’t mean for the words to cut him, but they did. Sliced right down to the bone and kept going.
“Yes,” he managed to say. “Still just me.” He was suddenly grateful he’d never told his mother about Amanda, and as he hung up, he realized he still didn’t have plans for Christmas Eve, nor Christmas.
And he really didn’t want to be alone during what should be a joyous time. He stood at the back door, looking at all the snow, the path he’d tromped through it to get to the farm, thinking, Then do something about it.
He wanted to call Amanda, as she’d mentioned several traditions at Whiskey Mountain Lodge. He’d love to have a private dinner with just her.
Or he could organize an event for anyone with nowhere else to go right here at his house. He could bake ham and make potatoes, and order rolls and pies.
Yes, that was what he’d do, and he reached for his phone to call the pastor so the word could be spread.
Chapter Twenty-One
“I do not want to be set up again,” Amanda said, loading her breakfast dishes into the dishwasher.
“Fine,” Graham said. “You’re still coming to the tree lighting, though, right?”
“Of course,�
� she said. “I’ve attended alone before, believe it or not.”
“Mom, I think you should call Finn.”
Amanda straightened, her thoughts already tangled. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not?” Graham asked. “He was down here yesterday, you know. He looked miserable, and I heard him talking to Laney about the saddles. He said he probably won’t need any more for a while.”
“Why is that significant?” she asked. She knew Finn bought saddles from Laney, but she wasn’t entirely sure why.
“He said he’s selling a lot of his horses. Not getting new ones. No horses. No saddles.”
Amanda moved over to the door, trying to riddle out what it all meant. “I miss him,” she whispered.
“I know you do, Mom,” Graham said, and she suddenly remembered she was on the phone with him. “Why don’t you just tell me what happened?”
“I don’t know what happened.”
“You won’t tell Beau either, and it’s obvious to everyone you’re in love with him.”
Amanda shook her head. “He doesn’t live here,” she said. “And I can’t give up the house.” There, she’d said it. “He wanted me to move to Dog Valley with him, and I…can’t.”
Graham sighed into the phone. “Mom, I’m sorry, but that’s just ridiculous.”
“What?” she asked, her pulse skipping.
“You don’t need to sell your house.” Graham started laughing, but Amanda couldn’t figure out what was so funny. “So keep the house, Mom. I don’t see why you can’t have the house and Finn.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came to her mind. Eventually, she said, “And what? The house sits empty?”
“No,” Graham said slowly. “I know someone who could use it while you’re away. Fill it with family and have celebrations there. Just the kind you want, like the one you had at Thanksgiving.”
“Graham,” she said, a sigh following. “I know you bought the lodge…I mean, I know you didn’t buy the lodge to take those times from me.”
