They hopped into the first taxi at the rank. It had a dent in the roof. ‘I know you,’ the driver said to Eric. ‘You’re the genius.’
Eric was about to say something, but Einstein butted in. ‘Less lip and more zip,’ he told the driver. ‘More screech and less speech! In other words, move it, mate!’
The taxi driver was speechless. He revved the car and screeched off.
Burpinburger and Brique stumbled out of the television station just in time to see the taxi zip away. They piled into the very next taxi and followed.
BEWARE THE DOCTOR
‘Phew.’ Einstein climbed off Eric’s shoulder onto the top of the seat. ‘That was close.’ He stared out the rear window but said nothing about the dreadful doctor.
Eric sank back in the seat. ‘I’ve just done something really stupid, haven’t I?’
‘Stupid?’ Einstein paused. ‘If what you mean is dim, thick, dull, dumb, then I disagree.’
‘But I’ve just thrown away a fortune.’
‘Perhaps.’
‘I have. All I had to do was give them your answer and the money would have been ours.’
‘That’s if my answer was correct.’
‘Well of course it was correct.’
‘What makes you so sure?’
‘Come on. You just got eighty-nine out of ninety questions right. Why would the last …’ Eric stopped and gaped at Einstein. ‘Wait a minute. Are you saying …?’
‘I’m not saying anything.’
‘I get it. Your answer to the last question was wrong.’
‘Was it?’
‘Yes, it was. And it was wrong on purpose. You were giving me the wrong answer on purpose.’
‘Mmmm. Interesting theory.’ Einstein stroked his chin with one paw. ‘Relatively speaking, of course.’
Eric knew he was right. Einstein was bright pink. The mouse was obviously guilty. ‘But why?’ Eric asked.
‘I admit nothing.’ The mouse held up his paws. ‘But if your theory is right, then it would suggest I didn’t want you to win the money.’
‘Exactly. But why wouldn’t you want me to win the money?’
‘Surely that much is obvious. What’s a million dollars going to do for you? Being filthy rich won’t make you happier. Never has, never will. It won’t give you more friends either, not real ones, anyway. All it would do is turn you into a spoilt brat. And I don’t think you want that, do you?’
Eric thought for a moment. ‘No, I guess not.’
‘And I certainly don’t.’ Einstein said. ‘I can’t imagine any friend of mine being a spoilt brat.’ The mouse gazed at Eric. ‘You did say we were friends, didn’t you?’
‘Yep.’ Eric couldn’t help smiling. ‘I sure did.’
‘Good.’ Einstein clapped his paws. ‘That’s settled then.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Now we can get on with escaping.’ The mouse did look extremely worried, Eric suddenly realised.
‘What did you say?’
‘Escaping. Running away.’ Einstein pointed out the back window of the taxi. ‘From those evil villains.’
Eric turned around. Close behind them was another taxi. Hanging out of one of the windows and shaking his fist was a small man with a huge head. A huge man with a small head was poking out the other window. They both looked nasty. ‘I get the message,’ Eric said.
‘You may get the message,’ Einstein shrieked. ‘But our friend driving doesn’t.’ He yelled at the taxi driver. ‘This isn’t a funeral, my good man. Get a move on. Shake a leg. Make tracks. Get cracking. In other words, STEP ON IT!’
The taxi driver did as he was told. In fact, he went faster than he had ever gone before in his life. But it wasn’t fast enough because the other taxi stayed right behind them.
‘Who are they?’ Eric asked.
‘I’ll tell you later,’ Einstein squeaked. ‘Just make sure they don’t catch us!’ He climbed into Eric’s pocket and hid. ‘Please!’ He sounded very frightened.
Eric asked the driver to pull up as close to the front of his apartment block as possible, and when the taxi screeched to a halt, he leapt out and ran towards the security door. He had only just managed to punch in his code when the other taxi pulled up and the two strange men scrambled out. The thick glass door was always difficult to open, but this time it seemed stiffer and slower than ever.
‘Wait, you scoundrel,’ the small man cried, running towards Eric with surprising speed. In fact, he ran so fast that he reached the door before Eric was able to close it securely. He threw himself against the glass. ‘Open up!’ the man screamed at Eric, red-faced and furious. ‘Open up, I say!’
‘Don’t let them in,’ Einstein squeaked from Eric’s pocket. ‘Please don’t let them in.’
Eric pushed as hard as he could against the door, and he almost had it closed when Tikazza Brique joined the doctor.
‘Push, Brique,’ von Burpinburger shouted. ‘Push, you fool!’
The big door slowly opened a little, just enough for Dr von Burpinburger to shove his shoe into the gap. ‘Aha!’ he scowled. ‘Soon I will have my mouse. Soon!’
‘I can’t hold it!’ Eric yelled at Einstein. ‘Help me!’
Einstein stared at the snarling faces of Burpinburger and Brique, and shook with fear. But he also shook with anger. ‘Thugs!’ he shouted at them. ‘Bullies, ruffians, rogues. How dare you!’
The white mouse sprang from Eric’s pocket, leapt to the ground, and pounced on Burpinburger’s shoe. He opened his jaw wide and sank his razor sharp teeth into the soft leather. He bit as hard as he could, and a moment later the doctor yowled, yanked his foot out of the gap and stumbled backwards, knocking over Brique as he fell. Eric rammed the door shut.
‘Well done,’ he said to Einstein, and wiped his brow. On the other side of the door, Dr von Burpinburger was stamping about, punching at the glass, kicking Brique up the backside, and shouting some awful words in Bulgonian. ‘But what about those two?’ Eric asked.
Einstein stared at the men for a moment, with a great deal of whirring and buzzing in his head. Slowly a tiny grin began to appear on his face. ‘Let’s go,’ he said. ‘I’ve got to make a phone call.’
‘A phone call?’ Eric asked. ‘What about?’
‘You’ll find out.’ The grin grew, and Eric thought he heard Einstein giggle.
SWEET REVENGE
Doctor von Burpinburger kept kicking and beating at the glass doors for ages after Eric and Einstein had gone. He even made his assistant join in.
‘Yes, Master,’ Brique said. ‘Whatever you say.’
Presently a policeman came along. ‘You’re disturbing the peace,’ he said. ‘Move along or I shall have to ask you to accompany me to the police station.’
The doctor was furious. ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he yelled. ‘It’s my mouse.’
‘Your mouse, Sir?’ said the policeman.
‘Yes, my mouse. He’s in there.’ The doctor jabbed his finger at the glass doors.
‘I see.’
‘No you don’t. He’s escaped, and I want him back.’
‘Come now, Sir. Let’s just move along like a good fellow, eh? What’s one little mouse among friends, anyway?’
‘You don’t understand! He’s a genius.’
‘Of course he is, Sir. A real Einstein, no doubt.’
‘Exactly. And I want him back.’ The doctor stamped his feet and thumped the doors.
‘I’m sorry, Sir, but you really must move along. We’ve had complaints, you see.’ The policeman pointed through the glass doors. ‘From the residents.’
‘Oh yes,’ Burpinburger scowled. ‘And I know exactly who complained. It was my mouse!’
‘Excuse me, Sir,’ said the policeman, ‘but are you saying your mouse called me?’
‘Yes.’
‘On the telephone?’
‘Yes.’
‘So you’re telling me that this mouse of yours talks?’
‘Of course he does, you fool. He can do anything!’
Before the policeman could reply, a taxi driver joined in the conversation. ‘It’s true,’ he said. ‘The mouse does talk.’
The policeman backed away a little from the three men, and whispered into his two-way radio. ‘Constable Jones, here. I’m surrounded by nutters, real fruitcakes. I’ll try being firm, but I may need backup. Over and out.’
‘I thought I’d seen everything.’ The taxi driver was still talking when the policeman rejoined the group. ‘I’ve seen it rain cats, I have. Well, one cat anyway. Out of the sky it fell. Ker-plonk. But this was the most amazing of all. Yacking away like a little person, he was. Giving me orders! Step on it,’ he said.
The policeman cleared his throat. ‘Now come along, you lot,’ he insisted. ‘I’ve had quite enough of this nonsense.’ He hustled the three men away from the glass doors and over to the taxi, bundling them all into it. Burpinburger yowled and complained, but the policeman finally closed the door on him ‘Out of here! At once!’ He slapped the taxi on the side.
As they drove away, Dr von Burpinburger turned to his assistant, still fuming.
‘Don’t worry, Brique,’ he growled. ‘We’ll be back. Oh yes. We’ll definitely be back!’
Eric & Einstein Page 5
