by Noelle Adams
“I hope you don’t mind practicing with me some more,” he murmured against her ear, “because I’m going to need a lot of help.”
“That’s fine. I’ll practice with you all you want.”
Truth be told, she kind of liked the idea of dancing with him in the kitchen in the evenings for the next week.
It felt different from sex, but just as good.
Six
Late on the next Friday evening, Nick and Jenn were leaving Raina’s party.
Jenn had hired a car for the night, so they could both have a few drinks without worrying about the drive home. She was giving Nick a little push to get him into the backseat of the car when a voice from behind her made her turn around.
Raina had run out onto the sidewalk to say goodbye. “I’m so glad you were able to come,” she said, giving Jenn a hug.
Jenn was feeling tired but good, and she hugged her friend back. “I’m glad we were able to come too.”
Raina leaned down to glance into the car, where Nick was waiting. She gave him a wave and, when she straightened up, she whispered to Jenn, “Your husband is absolutely adorable. You know that, don’t you?”
“Yes, I know that.” Jenn felt like she’d been given the compliment herself, and she could sense her cheeks warming slightly. “He’s great.”
“When you two first got married, I was so surprised, since he didn’t seem like your type at all.”
Nick wasn’t her type. He was different from Jenn in almost every way. She wasn’t surprised Raina had been so startled by her choice of a husband.
“But it totally works for you two,” Raina added. “You’re so good together, and I think he really brings out the best in you.”
Jenn swallowed, momentarily confused about how to respond to that comment. “Uh, yeah, I guess he does.”
“I’m sure you bring out the best in him too,” Raina said, looking like she was worried she’d said something wrong. “I just never knew him before you.”
“I know. I know exactly what you’re saying. I do think we’re good for each other.”
Jenn didn’t like to feel like she was lying to her friend. It was one of the reasons she’d spent less time with Raina since her marriage to Nick. But it felt like she was telling the truth right now. Nick was good for her, and she hoped—in some way—she might be good for him too.
She wanted to be. In a way that had nothing to do with the money she provided.
She gave Raina another hug and then climbed into the backseat of the car beside Nick, waving at Raina as the car pulled away from the curb.
“What was that all about?” Nick asked.
“She was telling me how adorable you are.”
“Really?” He looked tired but rather pleased by this comment.
“Yes.”
“And it wasn’t a pity-compliment since I made such a mess with the dancing?”
Jenn laughed. “It wasn’t a pity-compliment. She really thinks you’re adorable. And you didn’t mess up the dancing.”
“Uh, no need to lie to me.”
“I’m not lying.”
“You did feel me step on your toes, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but it wasn’t that bad. You were just as good or better than about half the men there. It was really nice of you to try.”
“Hey, I’m your husband. That’s my job, right?”
Jenn experienced a strange little flicker in her chest. “Right. I guess so.”
The mood between them shifted slightly, in a way she couldn’t fully articulate, and they fell into silence. After a minute, Nick reached over and pulled her closer to him, so she was leaning against his side, his arm wrapped around her.
She felt better that way, and she relaxed against his warmth. She’d had three drinks at the party, so her mind was a little fuzzy but not incoherent. They didn’t normally sit in the backseat of the car cuddled up together this way, but it felt right at the moment so she didn’t question it.
“Did you have a good time?” she asked, after a few minutes. She glanced up to check his expression and saw it was sober.
“Sure.”
“You’re awfully quiet.”
“Just thinking.”
“About what?”
“Nothing, really.”
She knew that meant he didn’t want to tell her, and she made herself hold back and not press him for more information. If he didn’t want to talk, then he didn’t have to. That was fine. It wasn’t any of her business anyway.
Despite these sensible reflections, she heard herself asking, “What were you talking about with Marsha Hilton?”
Marsha had gone to college with Raina and Jenn, and she was from the same hometown as Jenn and Nick—so she’d known them growing up. She and Jenn had never been very close, and Jenn had been surprised when she’d seen the woman talking to Nick for at least ten minutes earlier in the evening.
“Nothing.”
“It was a long talk for it to be nothing.”
Nick let out a long breath, and his free hand moved over to idly pick up one of Jenn’s from her lap. “She was asking about my job. And she was talking about my parents.”
“What about your parents?”
“Nothing specific. Just talking about how they were doing.”
Jenn understood his mood then. It wasn’t a dark or bleak mood, really. It was just quiet and a little heavy because he’d been thinking about his parents. She wanted to help him—and make him feel better—but she wasn’t sure how to do that. After reflecting for a minute, she said, “You should go visit them. I can go with you, if you want.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, you should? Or yeah, you’ll do it?”
“Yeah, I should, and maybe I will.” He was fiddling with her fingers, gently rubbing her wedding ring.
“You’ll feel better if you go see them,” she said carefully. She didn’t want to offend him or make him pull back, but it felt like she needed to say something, like maybe this was one way she could be good for him, the way he was so good for her. “You only feel bad because you feel guilty.”
“I know.” He didn’t sound annoyed or defensive. Just resigned.
“Why is it so hard?” she asked, looking up at his face again. “You love them and you want to see them and you know you should. So why is it so hard to make yourself do it?”
“Because it is hard. That’s why. They’re getting old, and it’s hard for me to see them like that. I don’t do things that are hard anymore.”
She frowned. “Yes, you do.”
“No, I really don’t. I don’t…put myself out there to be hurt.”
“Well, that’s just part of your coping. It’s the way you’re trying to deal with…with everything.” She didn’t want to imply he was damaged from his experiences in the military, although both of them knew that he was. “It’s not going to be forever. And maybe you can…you can push through a little bit right now, so you can feel better in the long run.”
His arms tightened around him. “I know you’re right. It’s like you knowing that you need to stop stressing so much. Just because you know it doesn’t mean you can do it.”
“I know. But I’ve been working on not stressing. I think you can probably work on…on stepping up.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, think about it, at least. I’ll go with you, if you want me to.”
“Thanks.”
He was still stroking her fingers, her wedding ring, but he didn’t say anything else, and Jenn knew she’d pushed as far as she could for the evening.
They sat quietly as the driver took them through the mostly empty streets. It was late and dark and strangely silent in the world.
When they were almost home, Nick tilted his head down and brushed a kiss into her hair.
“What was that for?” she asked, raising her eyes to his face.
“That was because you’re so brave and sweet and generous.”
Her breath hitched in her throat. “I am not
.”
He gave a soft huff of amusement. “Yes, you are, sweetheart. You have no idea how much.”
She was deeply touched by the words, by how much he seemed to mean them. She had no idea what to say, but the car had pulled up to the curb in front of their building, so she didn’t have to say anything.
Back in their apartment, she went into her bedroom to change clothes, still feeling fluttery and confused. She’d only gotten as far as taking off her shoes when there was a tap on her door.
She swung it open to find Nick, standing in front of her, wearing his trousers with no shirt and no shoes.
They’d been having sex three or four times a week, but usually only on evenings when the mood was teasing and playful between them. She’d assumed he’d gone into his own room so he could deal with his mood by himself. She was so surprised to see him now she just stared at him.
“Would you like to…” he began, sounding very hoarse.
“Yes!” Overwhelmed with feelings she just didn’t understand, she reached out for him, pulling him down into a kiss.
He kissed her back, hard and hungry, and then he walked her back toward her bed. They didn’t talk at all as they kissed and caressed and took off each other’s clothes, and they were both strangely urgent as they made love under the covers.
Jenn needed it—needed him—more than she could ever remember needing anything. And it felt like, at least for tonight, he needed her too.
For now, that was enough. She wouldn’t let herself think about how it would feel when their marriage was over and Nick finally walked away.
***
The following week, Jenn was sitting in her office, reading over monthly financial statements and trying not to get a headache.
She’d been feeling stressed all morning. At several points, she’d reached for her phone to call Nick, but she’d managed to resist the urge each time.
Yes, talking to him would make her feel better, but she didn’t want to get dependent on him. They only had two more years left of their five year marriage. She was already enjoying being with him so much that it would be really hard when they parted ways, so she needed to be careful not to make it any harder on herself than it had to be.
She was rubbing her forehead and trying to focus when her Mary tapped on her door before opening it. “You’ve got someone to see you.”
Jenn blinked. “What?” She checked her calendar to assure herself no one was scheduled. “Who is it?”
“Your husband.”
“Really? What is he doing here?” Despite her rigorous attempts to be reasonable, she couldn’t keep down the rising of excitement at this news.
“He just came to see you, of course.” Mary was grinning as if something very romantic was happening. Nick had probably been hamming up the devoted husband act out there in the reception area.
“Well, send him in.”
Nick never stopped by to see her, and this fact suddenly made her worry that something might be wrong.
Her sliver of concern faded when she saw his lazy grin as he entered. He was holding a paper bag. “I was working down the street this morning, so I picked up some lunch,” he explained. “Then I figured, since I was so close, I might as well get some for you too.”
She couldn’t keep the smile off her face. “Then come in. I’m famished.”
Nick closed the door behind him and went to the conference table near the window, where he started to unpack the bag, pulling out sandwiches, salads, and little packages that must be dessert. While he did that, Jenn grabbed a couple of bottles of water from the refrigerator in the kitchenette area against one of the walls in her office and then made a stop at her computer to adjust her schedule, moving her lunch break from 12:30 to 12:15.
“What are you doing?” Nick asked. He’d come over without her noticing and was now peering over her shoulder.
“I’m changing my schedule.”
“Don’t both you and Mary already know you’re eating at 12:15 instead of 12:30?”
“Well, yeah, but I like to keep my calendar tidy.”
He chuckled and reached out to give her a one-armed hug. “Of course you do.”
“Did you come to eat or to mock me?”
“Is there a rule that says I can’t do both?”
She made a face at him, entirely for show, and they went over to the table to eat their lunch.
Jenn greatly enjoyed it. Nick had splurged on the food—he usually gravitated toward cheaper restaurants—and between them, they ate everything he’d brought. He asked her about her morning, and she complained to him about how horrible it was to review financial statements. Then he told her about how things were going on his case looking for the missing teenaged girl, concluding that if he didn’t have a concrete lead in another two weeks, he was going to have to tell her parents that he couldn’t continue. He couldn’t keep taking their money and not have any real progress to show for it.
When Nick finally started to pick up their trash, Jenn glanced at the time and was shocked to see that it was already 1:13. “I can’t believe we had lunch for a whole hour!”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing, really. Only I usually just take twenty minutes or so.”
“Since you were getting a headache, it’s just as well you took a longer break.”
She smiled at him, wondering if there was a man in the world more adorable than he was. “Yeah. That’s probably right.”
“That’s definitely right.” He grabbed her hand as she was heading back for her desk. “You can’t work late today and use lunch as an excuse.” His eyes were very warm, and they never left her face.
She had to fight a most ridiculous case of the flutters. “Just so you know, I can work late any day I want.”
“True, but then you don’t get a massage when you come home with a terrible headache.”
“Oh. That wouldn’t be good at all.”
“That’s what I’m saying.” He was still holding her hand, idly rubbing her palm. “So no working past six today.”
“That seems like a very logical decision. And I’ll just ignore the fact that you’re sounding rather bossy.”
“Sometimes even you need to be bossed.”
She was so caught up in his fond gaze that she found herself swaying toward him. “I never need to be bossed.”
His voice was thicker when he murmured, “I’m here to testify that that isn’t true.”
“It is true. I’m unbossable.”
Nick chuckled, and the sound was so intoxicating that there was no telling what she might have done next.
It turned out it didn’t matter because there was a knock on the office door.
“I’m sorry,” Mary said, after waiting for Jenn to tell her to come in. “I’ve been taking messages on all your calls while you were at lunch, but there’s a call that sounds personal, so I wanted to check to see if you wanted to take it.”
“Who is it?”
“A Jack Watson.”
Nick stepped back with a frown, finally dropping her hand.
“Jack?” Jenn said, so surprised her voice broke. “Seriously? Yes, I’ll take it.”
She turned to Nick. “You remember Jack, don’t you? From back home?”
“Yes, I remember Jack.” His voice wasn’t particularly excited.
“Didn’t you like him?” Jenn asked. “I thought everyone liked Jack.”
“I remember you certainly liked him. You followed him around like you were a puppy.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” There might have been a little truth to the words, though. Jack had been four years older than her, and she’d had a huge crush on him for a couple of years. “I’ve talked to him on and off over the years, but not for a long time. I wonder what he wants.”
“You better pick up the call and find out.” Nick’s eyes had narrowed on the blinking light on her phone.
“I am.” She smiled at him. “Thanks so much for lunch. I had a good time.”
/> “Take your call.”
Jenn frowned at his tone, but she reached to pick up the handset. She expected Nick to leave then, but he didn’t.
He stood beside her desk while she talked to Jack, who wanted to get together to catch up. They made plans to have lunch on Friday, and Jenn was smiling as she hung up.
“He does know you’re married, right?” Nick asked.
Jenn had been in a good mood, but now she scowled at him. “Of course he does.”
“Then why is he asking you out on a date?”
“It’s not a date! It’s lunch. You can come too if you want.” She mostly said it to get him off her back and to stop acting so territorial.
It was just like a man, getting riled up at any perceived encroachment, even on a fake marriage.
“Okay,” Nick said. “Maybe I will.”
Seven
On Friday, Jenn walked into a cute little café at three minutes until noon.
A big man with an easy smile and a cleft in his chin stood up as she entered.
“Jack!” she said, walking over to hug him. “It’s so good to see you!”
Jack Watson had been the high school football star of their small hometown, and he still had the large build and broad shoulders. He was dressed casually in khakis and a crew-neck shirt, but Jenn recognized that his shoes and his watch were expensive, so he must be making pretty good money in the sporting goods franchise he’d inherited from his father.
When she pulled out of the hug, she looked around. “Is Nick here yet?”
“I haven’t seen him.” Jack grinned and glanced at the door to the restaurant. “Do you want to tell me why he’s joining us for lunch?”
“We’re married,” she admitted, giving him a slightly sheepish look. “Hadn’t you heard?”
“I had heard, and I thought it was the strangest thing. He doesn’t seem like your type at all. How did the two of you hook up?”
Despite what Nick had implied, it was clear to Jenn that Jack wasn’t remotely interested in her romantically. His gaze was friendly but not overly warm. It was the same look he gave everyone he liked. Plus, he’d always been a decent guy, and he’d never come on to a married woman. “It just kind of happened,” Jenn said, purposefully keeping the answer vague. “Let’s go get a table, and he can join us when he gets here.”
