But they never had. She’d got away with a lecture on the dangers of drinking too much, but hadn’t found the courage to tell them that their warning had come too late.
When she realised she was pregnant she felt sick to the core. She couldn’t tell anyone – not even Lynette. She carried her sordid little secret around with her in the desperate hope that it would somehow sort itself out.
Then, after two months of complete silence, Rory turned up on her doorstep one afternoon.
‘I saw your grandparents go out. How are you?’ he asked warily.
And to her horror, desperate to share her burden with someone, she heard herself blurting out, ‘I’m pregnant.’
‘What?’ His face had paled. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Of course I am.’
‘Christ.’ He raked his fingers through his hair and then stared at her piercingly. ‘Who knows?’
‘No–one.’
‘Well, make sure you keep it that way. You’ll have to get rid of it.’
‘Rory!’
‘I mean it, Grace. My father would crucify me … crucify us both if he found out. You don’t know him … he’s got such high expectations of me. He’d cut me off without a penny. I can’t let that happen.’
‘But –’
She bit back on her words, feeling the last vestiges of hope that she’d somehow got him wrong, crumble away. There was a callousness about him that terrified her and some inner sense warned her to go along with him, not defy him. What was she frightened of, she wondered hysterically – that he’d kill her? The idea seemed laughable, yet with the memory of his brutality still fresh in her mind, it suddenly didn't seem such a ludicrous thought at all. The realisation was like a punch in the stomach and she was instinctively protective of her unborn baby.
‘I don’t have the money for an abortion,’ she said.
‘Don’t worry about that … I’ll get it for you. I’ll ring you tonight at about eight o’clock.’ He turned to leave and then stopped.
‘Grace–’
‘Yes?’ she whispered, still desperately clinging to the hope that he was now going to apologise and perhaps even stand by her.
‘Don’t tell anyone about this – you understand? No-one.’
And he was gone, leaving Grace feeling more alone than she’d ever felt in her life.
But it was also a wake-up call to get her act together and when he rang that night she was ready for him.
‘Meet me at the entrance to the park in an hour,’ he instructed in low tones. ‘I’ll have the money with me.’
And she stated quite calmly. ‘No, not the park. I’ll meet you in The Old Swan. I want nothing more to do with you after this, Rory. I’ll go to London for the abortion and stay there – make a new start for myself.’
‘Okay, okay …’ His voice was suddenly more hushed. ‘Shit … I’ve got to go.’
Grace had been the first there and she chose a small table for two in the far corner of the room so that they wouldn’t be overheard easily. She twisted her hands in her lap as she practised what she was going to say. But to her horror when she looked up, it wasn’t Rory who was striding uncompromisingly towards her, but his father. And she quailed at the fury in his eyes as he took the seat opposite her and stared at her for a long hard moment.
‘I suppose you’re feeling very pleased with yourself?’ he finally said. ‘But let me tell you my girl ... we’ll have none of it.’
Grace stared at him, stunned into silence.
‘You won’t get a penny out of us to support this baby. It may not be the modern way these days, but my wife and I are not sympathetic to the idea of bastards in our family. I have hopes for Rory – and they don’t include seeing him tied down at the age of twenty-two to some gold-digging little bitch who thinks she’s found herself a ticket for life.’
Grace could only stare in horror as he pulled an envelope out of his pocket and thrust it across the table at her.
‘There’s two thousand pounds there – more than enough to pay for your abortion and your silence. If a word of this gets out to anyone, anyone – I’m telling you now I’ll make things so unpleasant for you and your grandparents around here, that you’ll wish you’d never been born. I don’t need to remind you that your grandfather is dependent on me for his income. Am I making myself quite clear?’
His suppressed rage intimidated her. She shuddered at the thought of that fury unleashed. The same fury she’d witnessed in Rory. For a moment she said nothing. Then, almost in a daze, she picked up the envelope and slowly rose from the table. Her face was ashen as she faced him, but somehow she managed to keep her voice steady as she spoke.
‘You’re making yourself perfectly clear. And you needn’t worry. I’ll deal with it. I want nothing more to do with you or your precious son. You deserve each other.’
She looked at the envelope in her hand for a long moment. Probably not wise ... certainly impractical ... but without further thought she opened her fingers and let it drop onto the table.
The speed with which he grasped her wrist and thrust it back into her hand, shook her.
‘Take it. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll use it.’
‘Mummy, I can’t sleep … I’m too ’cited by my birfday.’
Ellie’s animated voice calling from the bedroom brought Grace sharply back to the present, reminding her that whatever decisions she took with Rory, one priority overruled all others.
Her expression hardened. Her daughter’s needs and safety were paramount, and she’d do whatever she needed to protect her.
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘When’s my daddy coming?’
It was a week after Ellie’s birthday party and Grace felt sick with tension. There’d been no putting it off. Rory had phoned her two days after their meeting and demanded to meet his daughter properly.
‘I’ll leave it to you how you choose to tell her. But I want her to know who I am, and that from now on I intend to be a part of her life. You can make things easy or hard but if you fight me on this I’ll demand a paternity test and we both know what the result of that will be.’
Now, as she watched Ellie eagerly sitting at the window waiting for him to arrive, she could only hope he’d be kinder to her than he was to Grace. She could put up with anything he dished out as long as he didn’t abuse Ellie’s trust. But he was already half an hour late. Was he even coming?
‘I expect he’ll be here soon, sweetie. The traffic’s very busy on Saturdays.’
When finally he turned up twenty minutes later he didn’t even apologise.
‘Hello, Elizabeth,’ he said gravely, looking down at her from his great height. ‘Has Mummy told you who I am?’
Ellie nodded. ‘You’re my daddy. But I’m called Ellie. No-one calls me Lizbeth.’
‘Well, I’m your father and I can call you what I want.’
Ellie seemed to digest that for a moment, before saying innocently. ‘Where have you been? Have you been living in Africa?’
Grace almost smiled, realising that this very reasonable assumption came from her new friend Katie, whose parents had just returned from living in Cape Town.
Rory looked surprised. ‘No. Your mother didn’t want me to see you but I found out about you anyway. And now we can see lots of each other and we won’t let her stop us, will we? Where shall I take you for our first outing? Shall we go to MacDonalds?’
Ellie looked uncertainly at Grace. ‘I want you to come too, Mummy. Can we go to the park?’
‘There’s no need for Mummy–’
‘Of course I’m coming,’ Grace said. The look she gave Rory left no room for argument, and he shrugged.
‘We can play happy families then,’ he said to Ellie with a smile. ‘You, me and mummy together. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?’
‘Ooh yes,’ Ellie said, happy again. She turned to where her doll was sitting on the sofa. ‘Can I bring Miranda? She wants to come too.’
As outings went it wa
sn’t a huge success. Grace could see what Rory was trying to do – paint her as some sort of wicked witch who’d deprived him of seeing Ellie – but luckily he clearly wasn’t used to dealing with children and the way he did it seemed to unsettle Ellie rather than get her onside.
‘I was angry when your grandmother told me you’d had the baby,’ he said conversationally as they watched Ellie on the climbing frame. ‘I bumped into her on the High Street in Newmarket the day before she died. Did she tell you that?’
‘No … she didn’t.’ The blood ran cold in Grace’s veins. Was that why her grandmother had wanted to see her?
‘Well, we had a very nice cup of coffee together and I sucked up a bit – asked her how you were getting on, played the sympathy card by saying I missed you. Then later she called me – told me she’d given it a lot of thought but there was something she thought I should know – I had a daughter. Poor old dear – I think she expected me to be delighted with the news but she knew she’d made a mistake the minute she told me. Then the following day when I went round to see her to clarify a few things, unfortunately she got quite distressed … had a bit of an attack. So I left. It’s a shame she didn’t pull through but probably just as well. She was going a bit gaga, wasn’t she?’
Grace’s face was ashen as she stared at him. Had be been the reason for her grandmother’s stroke? She couldn’t go there.
She took a deep breath. ‘What’s this about, Rory? You never wanted Ellie. There was no reason to tell you. Why do you suddenly want to get involved now?’
‘Maybe because I like the idea of having a child – or maybe because you obviously didn’t get the message first time around not to cross me. Which do you think it is?’
The taunting expression in his eyes left her in no doubt as to the answer.
‘Anyway … I want to see her on a regular basis now and if you don’t agree I’ll take you to court over it.’
‘You don’t have the right …’
‘I think you’ll find I do. Are you denying that I’m Ellie’s father?’
‘No–’
‘Then check it out.’ He rose from his seat. ‘As I said, I’m perfectly willing to have a DNA test carried out if necessary.’
She’d already checked it out on the Internet and knew that unless there was absolute proof that Rory was an unsuitable father, it was unlikely any court would deny him access rights. She gave it some thought as she watched him help Ellie down from the climbing frame, listening to her daughter’s squeal of delight as he swung her round in the air before depositing her on the ground – and decided that her best course of action was to try to manage the visits herself in the hope that he’d tire of coming, rather than give them a legal basis,.
‘You can see her,’ she said an hour later as he took his leave of them, ‘but only on the condition that I’m present as well.’
‘Fair enough,’ he smirked. ‘Where shall we go for our next date? I’ll leave it to you to organise, shall I?’
He left without even saying goodbye to Ellie.
‘It was awful, Lynne,’ she said to her sister on the phone after he’d gone. ‘I was fuming when he left. I can see what he’s doing. He wants to come between us – pretending to be all pally with Ellie and making her think I’m the one in the wrong, stopping him from seeing her.’
‘Ellie’s not stupid, Grace, and she loves you more than anyone in the world. She’s not going to suddenly switch allegiance.’
‘I know, but she’s so excited at the thought of having a father. If I thought for one minute he was going to be a positive influence in her life, I’d jump at the chance of having him involved but I know he isn’t. I can’t bear the thought of her getting screwed up over all this.’
‘She’ll be fine – it’s not as if London’s on his doorstep. He’ll probably get bored after a few visits and stop coming. Then your life can get back to normal.’
‘I hope so,’ Grace said.
But she knew in her gut it wasn’t going to be that easy.
CHAPTER NINE
Grace jumped as the door to their office was suddenly flung open and her boss breezed in in his usual flamboyant manner.
‘Grace, how’s that medical report coming on? Have you finished it yet?’
She sighed, but her tone was good-natured as she responded. ‘Give me a break, you only gave it to me twenty minutes ago and it’s ten pages long. But as it happens I’m nearly done.’
‘Good. I’m heading up to Theatres now but leave it on my desk, will you? Sophie’s going to pick it up in about half an hour. Apparently the solicitors are screaming for it.’
Grace’s phone rang and she reached out to answer it, returning her boss’s careless salute and watching his retreating back as she did so. She sighed. Everything was getting to her these days – the endless stream of work, the deteriorating situation with Rory.
‘Miss Harper?’ The voice was pleasant and female.
‘Yes?’
‘It’s your daughter’s school here ... I’m afraid Ellie’s not well. She’s been sick three times. Can you come and pick her up?’
Grace almost groaned out loud. That was all she needed. Immediately she felt guilty. What sort of a mother was she?
‘Of course,’ she said quickly. ‘I’ll be along as soon as I can.’
‘Don’t worry about it,’ her colleague, Jan said. ‘If you can just finish the medical report, I’ll start on one of your clinics when I’ve finished this one of mine.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be. There’s nothing you can do about it. I’ll explain to Richard when he comes down for lunch and I’ll wait until you’ve gone before I ring through to Anna. She’s going to have to give us extra help now. I’ll tell her you’ll call her later.’
Ellie was looking extremely sorry for herself by the time Grace picked her up. ‘I got a tummy ache, an’ I’ve been sick,’ she said, looking at Grace dolefully and clutching her lunch box.
Grace knelt down. ‘I know, sweetie ... I’ve come to take you home. Here, I’ve brought you an extra warm scarf to tuck round your neck so you don’t get cold outside. And when we get home, we’ll tuck you up in bed with your snuggle bug – you’ll feel much better then.’
The journey home seemed interminable but finally they were back at their flat in Balham, and as Grace shut the door behind her she couldn’t help but relish the thought of a day at home doing absolutely nothing. She switched the heating on and put Ellie to bed, and then went through to the kitchen to warm a hot-water bottle. She’d phone Lynette later and get her to pick Michael and Emily up from school herself – and she’d also have to phone Rory to cancel him. Her heart dived at the thought.
It had been four months since that fateful day at Ellie’s party and he was almost as much a part of her life now as Stuart was, only in a far less pleasant way.
He showed no signs of tiring of the visits, even though – and maybe even because – she insisted on being present at all times. It was his way of punishing her, she was sure. He never asked to take Ellie off on her own, and for that Grace was glad. He didn’t have a clue how to behave with a small child and the unstable element to his character that had always worried her, seemed more pronounced than ever. There was no way she’d leave Ellie alone with him.
She jumped back from the sink as the hot-water bottle spilled over, jerking her out of her reverie.
She’d settle Ellie down and make the most of her unexpected time off by indulging herself with a good movie.
‘What do you mean she’s too ill to come out? What’s wrong with her?’
Grace reeled back at the sight of Rory on her doorstep and, as she took in his unkempt appearance and agitated air, something stirred uneasily inside her.
‘You got my text – she’s not well. I had to pick her up early from school.’
‘I don’t believe you – you just don’t want me seeing her.’
‘I’m not in the habit of lying, Rory.’
‘
Oh, no?’
He let that sink in, before demanding imperiously. ‘Let me see for myself.’ He barely gave her time to stand aside before striding past her into the flat, making his way to Ellie’s bedroom. She was fast asleep, and after a cursory glance, he shut the door again.
Back in the lounge, Grace stared at him uneasily. He seemed more edgy than usual – and there was a staring look to his eyes that bothered her.
‘Aren’t you going to at least offer me a drink now I’m here? I’ve come all the way from Cambridge to see her.’
He was standing too close, invading her personal space, but she didn’t budge.
‘No, I’m not. It’s not my fault you chose to ignore my text. I know you got it, so why still come?’
‘Perhaps it’s because I want to see you?’
His smile made her insides twist but she didn’t let him see it.
‘I don’t believe that for a moment,’ she said calmly. ‘What little there was between us, died a long time ago.’
‘For you, maybe. But I’ve found myself thinking about you a lot recently, remembering.’
His look was intense, as if he’d like to implant his memories into her mind. She found her gaze sliding away and she felt suddenly fearful – aware that it was just the two of them alone in the flat.
His hand reaching out made her jump.
‘Lovely hair,’ he murmured, twisting it around his fingers. He tugged, pulling her face closer, leaning forward to meet her half way. ‘I still remember the scent and feel of it, that night I took you.’
His hand had snaked around her neck, his fingers tightening as he attempted to draw her mouth towards his. His touch made her skin crawl, jerking her frozen limbs into action as the memory of that night exploded brutally into her consciousness. She thrust him away and stumbled back.
‘Don’t touch me.’
His brows snapped together, but then he too was straightening, his lips curling into a thin line.
‘What’s the matter – aren’t I good enough for you anymore? I can match that prick you’re seeing any day.’
Shadow Watcher, A Romantic Suspense Novel Page 4
