‘You’ll get over it,’ she said bracingly. ‘You need to concentrate on your career without all my baggage messing things up. And I need to make a fresh start with Ellie. Better that it’s a clean break …’
After he’d gone she moved over to where his photo sat next to Ellie’s on the bookcase. She stared at it, tears swimming in her eyes. She’d known their relationship was under strain but she’d assumed they’d weather it.
Her heart sank lower as it hit her the impact their break up would have on Ellie. She loved Stuart like a father and she’d miss him as much as Grace would. It had been a mistake to let them become so close. How was she going to explain his absence from their lives now?
She took the picture out of its frame and slipped it into her photo album.
Well, it was a lesson well learnt. She wouldn’t make the same mistake twice – either for her or Ellie.
PART TWO
Seven Years Later
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Grace climbed into her car and headed home. As always, she made constant checks in her mirrors to make sure she wasn’t being followed. It had become second nature to her now – almost as automatic as brushing her teeth morning and night – and whilst she hated that she had to do it, experience had taught her she couldn’t afford to relax her vigilance.
It wasn’t an enviable way of life by anyone’s standards and how she longed to live a more normal one as others did, with only the day-to-day problems of bills and what to cook for supper, to worry about.
She’d felt the tension ramping up the last couple of months. This was the longest they’d ever gone without Rory tracking them down and instinct told her that it wouldn’t be long now before he succeeded. In fact, she was even considering pre-empting the event by moving her and Ellie on, before he found them. Because when he did …
Fear clawed at her. This time she knew – he wouldn’t stop until he’d finished it.
It was late afternoon, a gloriously warm day, and she resolutely pushed all thoughts of Rory from her mind as she turned off the busy main road and headed down her own slightly quieter cul-de-sac of terraced houses. She parked her car in the road and walked the final couple of hundred yards home with brisk steps, but her thoughts – preoccupied now with Ellie – were still depressingly heavy as she recalled their most recent conversation. Another detention. How was she going to handle that? Where was she going wrong?
She glanced at her watch. Ellie would be home by now and there should be just enough time to tackle her about it before they whizzed back out again for drama.
‘Hi, Grace.’
She turned in the direction of the voice. It was one of her neighbours.
‘Hey, Sue, everything okay?’
‘Yup, good thanks. It’s my birthday today, Pete’s taking me out for a meal.’
‘Ah, happy birthday. Lucky you.’
‘You’ll have to find a man of your own.’ Her neighbour laughed. ‘In fact, if you look very carefully, you’ll see that you’ve got a rather cool-looking bloke standing on your doorstep right now.’
Grace swung round and for a moment her heart leapt into her mouth when she saw the man her friend was referring to.
Then slowly, she relaxed. It wasn’t him.
She quickened her steps again, eyeing the man warily as she approached her gate. He was tall with thick brown hair, dressed casually in jeans and a black tee-shirt. Late thirties she guessed. The eyes he turned on her as she walked up the path, were a clear grey.
‘Grace Harper?’ His voice was deep and cultured.
‘Yes?’
‘My name’s Nicholas Brandon. Have you got a moment?’
She saw the prospect of her talk with Ellie dwindling fast. ‘Not really, I’m going out again soon. Is it important?’
‘It won’t take long. I need to talk to you about someone I believe you know. Rory Marsden?’
She felt the colour drain from her face as she stared back at him. Playing for time, she rummaged in her handbag for the key to her flat and inserted it into the front door.
‘Ellie?’ she called out, and frowned when she got no reply. She tried to ignore the sudden stab of anxiety, knowing it was only because the man had mentioned Rory’s name.
She turned abruptly round to face him. ‘Look, I’m sorry, but whatever it is this really isn’t a good time. Anything Rory has to say to me can be dealt with through solicitors.’
She did her best to hide the fear that still had the power to cripple her. He’d found them.
‘It’s not that simple I’m afraid. Any chance I can come in for a moment? I’m not sure that what I’ve got to say should be dealt with on the doorstep.’
Grace shook her head firmly. ‘I’m sorry, but I’m going out again in a minute.’
And she wasn’t about to let some complete random into her flat.
‘Okay.’ The man hesitated. ‘You may already be aware of the fact that Rory was in a motorbike accident three months ago?’
She stared at him.
‘I see you weren’t. Then I’m sorry. And I’m even more sorry to tell you that he was killed outright.’
‘What…?’
Her instant shocked reaction was followed almost immediately by a sense of overwhelming relief – but it wasn’t long before her natural suspicion kicked in.
‘Who are you? And how did you find me? How do I know this isn’t some sick joke on Rory’s part?’
He looked taken aback. ‘It’s no joke. I’m sorry if it’s upset you.’
She shook her head slowly. ‘Rory and I weren’t close.’
But she was surprised to find her legs were unsteady. He was right – it had upset her. What was she going to say to Ellie?
The man seemed to be giving her some breathing space and Grace took it. When she felt she had her emotions back under control she drew a breath. ‘I won’t deny this has come as a shock, but I have to tell you that I wasn’t interested in Rory when he was alive and I’m not interested in him now he’s dead. Why are you here?’
If he was surprised by her response he didn’t show it. ‘I understand he was the father of your daughter, Elizabeth?’
‘Biologically. But that’s where it ended.’
He hesitated, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a letter. ‘Evelyn – Rory’s mother – was widowed a number of years ago and she subsequently married my father. I’m here on her behalf, and I’m also helping out with Rory’s estate. This is a letter from his solicitors.’
It was another piece of news that stunned Grace. She’d had no idea Rory’s father was dead. The hand she held out for the letter wasn’t quite steady as the memories rushed in. ‘Well, thanks for your trouble.’
‘How come Rory’s family never knew of Elizabeth’s existence?’ he asked, not relinquishing the letter. ‘My stepmother was devastated when she went through his things and discovered that she’s had a granddaughter all these years she knew nothing about.’
Grace’s expression was hard. ‘Well, perhaps she should have thought about that before she and her husband tried to force me into having an abortion. She wanted nothing to do with my child back then and I want nothing to do with her now. I’d like to make that quite clear.’
Nicholas Brandon’s eyebrows lifted. ‘I’m sure that whatever’s happened in the past, Evelyn would welcome you both with open arms given half a chance…’
‘Except that we don’t want to be welcomed with open arms.’
She half expected him to argue the point further, but after a brief hesitation he handed her the letter. ‘Rory died without making a Will, and as no-one else is contesting his estate, your daughter’s likely to inherit a small legacy that will be held in trust for her until she reaches the age of eighteen. There wasn’t much left I’m afraid – he got through nearly everything his father left him. But it does need to be sorted out so we can wind things up. I’m sorry if I’ve ruined your day,’ he added, holding out his hand. ‘But I’m glad we finally caught up with you.
’
There was the slightest of hesitations before she placed her hand in his. His grasp was strong as she’d known it would be and she knew an inexplicable flutter of panic before he let it go again.
‘I’ll wait to hear from you,’ he said. ‘My contact details are in that letter.’
She watched him walk back to his car and waited until he’d driven off before turning and entering her flat. Closing the door behind her, she leaned weakly against it.
Rory was dead.
It was a life-changing moment. But as she closed her eyes, immediately his face was before her, as if to make a mockery of her newfound knowledge. She felt she could almost reach out and touch him as she heard the words he’d whispered so many times in the past.
‘I’ll be back, Gracie. Don’t ever think you’ve seen the last of me.’
She jerked away from the door feeling suddenly anxious for Ellie. Where was she?
Even though she had no need now to worry, she pulled out her mobile and dialled her daughter’s number.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Grace flung open the front door and almost tripped over Ellie on the doorstep.
‘Where have you been? You’re nearly an hour late!’
‘Oh, Mum, for goodness sake.’ Ellie pushed past her and headed for the kitchen. ‘Vanessa and I went to Pizza Express for a drink, that’s all. When are you going to stop treating me like a child? It’s so annoying.’
‘You know I worry about you. You should have called. That’s what you’ve got your phone for. Why didn’t you pick up when I rang just now?’
‘Because my battery’s flat – and none of my friends have to call their mums. It’s embarrassing.’
Grace tried to ignore the hurt her daughter’s words caused. They’d always been so close, but these last few months Ellie had changed. She felt she didn’t know how to handle her anymore.
‘What’s for supper?’ Ellie asked, heading for the fruitcake on the worktop. ‘I’m starving.’
Grace followed her across and pulled out a plate. ‘We’ve got spaghetti after drama but take some cake for now and then come through to the lounge – there’s something I need to tell you.’
Ellie threw her a look as she took a knife out of the drawer. ‘What’s up? You look very serious!’ She stiffened suddenly. ‘You haven’t seen Dad?’
‘No. Just come through when you’re ready.’
A few minutes later Ellie was seated opposite Grace, a huge chunk of cake in one hand and a glass of milk in the other.
She was such a strange mixture, Grace thought. Still mostly child but so yearning to be grown up – with that belligerent air that seemed to go hand in hand with being a teenager these days. And yet at times she could be so warm and loving. So needy.
‘So what did you want to say?’ she asked now, munching on her cake.
Grace searched for the right words, then gave up with a sigh. ‘Oh honey, there’s no easy way of telling you this. I heard today that your father had a motorbike accident several weeks ago. Apparently … he was killed outright.’
Ellie stopped chewing, her eyes locking with her mother’s. ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes.’
It took a while for Ellie to respond but when she did her gaze was defiant. ‘Good – I suppose you think I’m bad saying that. But it means he can’t bother us anymore.’
‘Sweetheart–’
Ellie jumped up from her chair. ‘I need to get my stuff ready for drama. We’ve got to take our costumes tonight. It’s a dress rehearsal.’
It was an excuse and they both knew it, but Grace let her go. Ellie’s response cut through her. Even though it was Rory who’d betrayed his daughter’s innocence and trust, she couldn’t escape the fact that it was her mistake that had created the problem in the first place and to hear her daughter voice her feelings so starkly ...
She caught the faint whiff of cigarettes as Ellie exited the room. Oh, God, was that another thing she needed to deal with?
She picked up Ellie’s mug and plate and walked into the kitchen, her mind racing at a speed she could barely keep up with. But the essential message was clear.
It was over.
She’d spent so much of her time these last few years running away from Rory she could hardly believe it, but incredibly, she was already aware of the tiniest of easing in that permanent knot in her stomach.
No more moves – they could begin to lead a normal life.
It felt almost too good to be true.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
‘I hate you when you’re like this! Why can’t I go?’
Ellie’s green eyes that she’d inherited from Grace, flashed with venom, and Grace looked at her daughter helplessly as she unlocked the front door and tried to voice her argument in a way that would make her see sense.
‘Because you’re thirteen years old and that’s too young to be walking the streets until ten o’clock on a Saturday night. What are you going to be doing all that time?’
‘Just hanging around. We won’t be doing anything.’
‘Well, I’m sorry but I’m not having you hanging around anywhere at that time of night. Why can’t you invite your friends over here – watch a film or something?’
‘Because they don’t want to sit in and watch some poxy film – and their mothers aren’t so unreasonable as you. They trust their children.’
‘Well more fool them. If you do that sort of thing regularly it’ll only be a question of time before you get into trouble, and I’m not prepared to stand by and watch that happen.’
‘If I wanted to get into trouble you couldn’t stop me anyway ... you can’t keep me locked in my room twenty-four hours a day.’
‘Oh, Ellie, don’t be silly. No-one’s talking about locking you in your room. But you’re not going out and that’s the end of it. And talking about trust …’
She took a breath and eyed her daughter steadily. ‘I’ve always trusted you but I’m beginning to think that maybe I can’t anymore.’
Ellie eyed her sulkily. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I’m not stupid. I’ve smelt the cigarettes on your clothes.’
‘They’re not mi–’
‘Don’t even go there. I wasn’t born yesterday. You gave me your word you wouldn’t even think about smoking until you were in the sixth form. Can you look me in the eye and tell me you’ve kept that promise?’
Ellie’s gaze shifted, and Grace shook her head.
‘I try to trust you and give you the benefit of the doubt but it’s not easy when I know you’re not being straight with me. We’ve always been honest with each other. I don’t like that that’s changing.’
She let her daughter ponder on that for a moment, before saying, ‘The other thing I need to talk to you about is that I’ve had a letter this morning, asking me to go in and see Mr Wilson tomorrow. What’s that about?’
‘I don’t know.’ Ellie’s face became belligerent again as she stooped to pick up her school bag. ‘I’ve got homework to do. I’m going to my room.’
‘Well make sure you do it this time,’ Grace called after her as she flounced out. ‘I don’t want any more detentions.’
The banging of the bedroom door was the only response she got to that and Grace sighed, fighting a ridiculous desire to burst into tears. Where was she going wrong? She was a crap mother.
By the time she flew into the school late for her appointment the next day, she was exhausted. She’d got into work at the hospital for seven-thirty to enable her to leave early, and as usual she’d been submerged by letters and phone calls from the moment she’d arrived right up to the minute she’d left.
‘Thanks for coming, Miss Harper,’ the headmaster said smiling. ‘Won’t you sit down?’
‘Thank you.’
‘I’m sorry to have to call you in like this, but I’m afraid there are a few issues surrounding your daughter that I feel we need to discuss…’
Later that night, when Ellie was in bed, Grace rang Lyn
ette. ‘We’re moving,’ she said flatly. ‘As soon as they break up for the summer.’
‘What! Oh, Grace. Why?’
‘I had a horrible meeting with Ellie’s headmaster today. One of her friends has been suspended for taking cannabis. He’s worried she could get sucked into it if she stays with that group of girls. I tried to talk to her tonight about maybe hanging around with a different group, but you can imagine how that went down.’
‘Oh, hun.’
‘I can’t just sit by and watch her go off the rails, Lynne. I know you say Katie’s not easy at the moment – but this is different. I’m really worried about her. She’s going to hate me for making her move, but I just don’t see any other alternative.’
She didn’t want to do it. It felt like she was running away again, admitting defeat. But instinct told her it was the only answer – a completely new start – and at least this time they wouldn’t have the threat of Rory hanging over them.
‘Well ...’ Lynette’s voice was thoughtful as she broke into the silence. ‘There is one option of course and now you don’t need to worry about Rory any more … it might be the perfect solution…’
‘I don’t want to move to Cambridgeshire and I won’t do it ...’ Ellie’s expressive eyes were furious. ‘You promised. You said we wouldn’t have to move again now that Dad was dead. You’re a liar.’
‘I’m not a liar–’
‘You can’t force me – I’ll go and live with Leanne if I have to.’
‘I think Leanne’s parents might have something to say about that.’
‘They wouldn’t mind, they’d be fine – especially when I tell them that you never wanted me in the first place.’
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