Rachel started to argue, but dropped her head and blew out a sigh. “What do you want, Matt? Do you want me to admit that I couldn’t sleep for thinking of you? Of us?”
She lifted her gaze, surprised to find him still in the doorway and not right up on her, crowding her and filling her mind with more jumbled emotions.
“Fine,” she conceded. “You win. I thought of every single detail from start to finish and then I rewound my memory bank and did it all again. I’ve thought of you while I’m awake and you’ve even invaded my dreams. But you know what? Nothing will come of this. You live in Dallas—I’m probably staying in Royal. You’re a career businessman and bachelor extraordinaire, and I’m—”
“A single mother and widow. You’ve reminded me.” Now he stepped forward, but didn’t touch her. “You want to know how I see you? As a passionate woman who is denying herself because of guilt and misplaced loyalty.”
“How dare you,” she scolded through gritted teeth.
“What?” he yelled back. “You need to know what I’ve kept to myself for so long. Why I stayed away for a year. Why Billy was so unhappy.”
Rachel shook her head and closed her eyes, as if she could keep the pain from seeping inside. “Stop it. Just stop.”
“I’ve wanted you for so long.” His voice softened, as did her heart at his raw tone. “I watched Billy marry you. I watched him flirt with other women. I watched him disrespect you behind your back toward the end of your marriage. When I confronted him, he told me to stay out of your relationship. When you got pregnant...”
Matt clenched his fists at his sides and glanced down to the floor. He cleared his throat before meeting her gaze again.
“I know,” she finished. “He didn’t want the baby. We fought all the time. But I wanted her. From the moment I knew I was expecting, my whole outlook on life changed and I was excited to be a mother.”
“You’re a damn good mom.” He smiled as he reached out to her. Cupping her face in his hands, he stepped in to her. “It’s time you take back your life. Isn’t that your goal? You want to start over? Well, now is the time. You can be a mother, but you also need to move on.”
“With you? You don’t want a family, Matt. Remember?”
His jaw clenched as he studied her face. “You want honesty? I don’t even know what I want. All I know is when I’m not with you, I want you. When I am with you, I want you. I want you, Rachel. Right now.”
He crowded her in this tiny room full of rubble. Her body instantly responded—if she was honest, the tingling had started in the driveway hours ago.
“I won’t pressure you,” he added. “But you need to know where I stand for however long I’m in Royal.”
Matt released her and turned, stepping over the mess and back into the master bedroom. Rachel remained still, her skin still warm from his touch, her heart beating fast, her mind rolling over everything he said, everything she felt.
She couldn’t deny herself, couldn’t deny how Matt had made her feel more alive in the past few days than she had in a long time. Did she want to throw that away because she was confused and scared about the future, or did she want to grab onto this bit of happiness?
Rachel climbed over the mess she’d made. “Matt.”
He stopped in the doorway leading into the hall, but didn’t turn. His pants were filthy, his dark hair was a complete mess and there was a tear in his shirt on the right sleeve. Her attire wasn’t faring much better. They both needed a shower, they both were feeling emotionally raw and they both had no clue where this was going.
There were so many reasons she should let him walk right out that door. But she couldn’t do it. Maybe it was time she learned by his example and simply take what she wanted.
“Why is it when I’m with you, my clothes end up ruined?”
Her shaky hand went to the zipper of her pants. As she drew it down, the slight sound echoed in the room. Slowly, Matt turned to face her.
Eleven
Matt couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak. Right before his eyes Rachel had turned into the vixen he’d always known her to be. He’d gotten a glimpse of her at Galloway Cove. But this, this woman before him doing the most erotic striptease he’d ever seen, took his breath away.
He didn’t miss the way her hands shook. That slight uncertainty, even while her gaze had completely locked onto his, only added to his arousal. She might be nervous about her feelings, but she was taking what she wanted...and that was him.
Matt didn’t even bother to be subtle when he ran his eyes over every gloriously exposed inch of her. When she stood before him completely bare, there was no way he could keep this distance between them.
“While you’re here, I’m taking this.” She shook her long, honey-blond waves back and offered a slight smile. “Whatever is going on, it’s between us. I know you’re not looking for a happily-ever-after, and honestly, I don’t think those exist anymore.”
Her words stirred something in his soul...something that irritated the hell out of him, but with a beautiful, naked woman standing before him, he wasn’t about to start analyzing his damn feelings. There was only one thing he wanted to analyze right now and it was all of this soft, creamy skin exposed before him.
“If you’re waiting on me to argue with your logic, you’ll be waiting a long time.”
Before he could wrap his arms around her, Rachel was on him. Damn, if that wasn’t sexier than her standing naked before him. She threaded her fingers through his hair and covered his mouth with hers. Her sweet body pressed against his and he wished he could just get his clothes to evaporate so he didn’t have to step from her arms, from her mouth.
“I’m filthy,” she murmured against his mouth. “I probably smell.”
He trailed his lips along her jawline and inhaled just below her ear. “You smell amazing and you’ll taste even better.”
Matt stepped back and stripped down to nothing. He wanted her glorious, silken skin against his; he wanted to be one with her and he damned any consequence that would come their way later.
With his hands full of the woman who’d been tantalizing him for years, Matt backed her up until they fell onto the old, squeaky bed.
He realized the mattress probably wasn’t the most comfortable, so he rolled, pulling her on top. But when he looked up at her, she was all smiles, her eyes sparkling with happiness and desire.
“This damn thing is a brick,” he growled. “Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head, her hair sliding around her shoulders. “It’s not pain I’m feeling right now.”
Just like yesterday, Matt held on to her hips as she settled over him. Would he ever tire of this view? All these years he’d wanted her, but he’d never thought of what he’d want once he had her...now he had his answer. He wanted more Rachel.
“I’m yours,” she murmured. “Do what you want.”
She was his. His.
No. That sounded permanent. What they were doing was...
Damn it. He vowed to worry about this later.
Matt sat up, thrusting his hands in her hair as he came to his feet. She instantly wrapped her legs around his waist and then he turned and held her against the wall.
“Now, Matt.”
His name on her lips was all the motivation he needed. How long had he waited to hear such a sweet sound?
With a jerk of his hips, Matt joined their bodies, eliciting a long, low groan from Rachel. Another sweet sound he couldn’t get enough of.
Rachel wrapped all around him as he set the rhythmic pace. She fit him perfectly—yesterday wasn’t just a onetime epiphany. No woman had ever made him want like this, like he couldn’t breathe if he didn’t have her, like he didn’t want to go a moment without touching her.
Matt reached around to grab her backside and moved faster. His mouth ravished hers as the all-consuming need fill
ed him. He couldn’t get enough...and wondered if he ever would.
Rachel’s body arched against his; her mouth tore away as she cried out with her release. Matt couldn’t take his eyes from her. Rachel coming apart all around him would forever be embedded in his mind.
His climax overrode any thoughts, but he never took his eyes from hers. She stared back at him now, a soft, satisfied smile on her face as his body trembled. Little minx knew exactly the power she held over him...and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Their sweat-soaked bodies clung together, not that he was in a hurry to release her.
“We need a shower,” she mumbled, her head against his shoulder.
“If the utilities were on, we could make use of that bathroom downstairs.”
He actually liked her soaking wet, wouldn’t mind having her that way again. An image of her in his Dallas home filled his mind. He’d been to his island, now to his family’s farmhouse. Where else could he take her?
* * *
Matt patted the glossy bar top to get the bartender’s attention. He needed another drink and he wanted to try to make sense of these chaotic feelings swirling around his head. Wanting Rachel, having Rachel and then being confused as hell as to what he wanted now was tearing him up inside.
No, the answer couldn’t be found in the bottom of his tumbler of bourbon, but it sure as hell didn’t hurt.
“Hey, man.”
Caleb McKenzie took a seat on the stool next to Matt. Caleb was another member of the Royal TCC and Matt had met him while they’d both been here using the TCC offices just a few weeks ago.
“What’s up?” Caleb asked.
“Taking a break from work.”
He’d been at his grandfather’s farm for the past several days doing more demo work. His contractor had come by and they’d gone over each room in detail, but Matt was finding the demolition rather therapeutic. For now, he’d wait on hiring his contractor. Mainly because he was enjoying the manual labor and getting back to his roots. Another reason was that Matt knew his grandfather would be proud of his work, and that was more important to him than anything when it came to the farm.
He ordered another bourbon and Caleb requested a craft beer. After tipping his Stetson back, Caleb shifted on his seat and rested his elbow on the bar.
“I’m taking a break from wedding planning. Shelby probably appreciates the fact I’m letting her deal with choosing the exact shade of purple for the flowers.”
Matt laughed. Caleb had dodged the auction block, but in the end, he’d landed his very own fiancée.
Matt wouldn’t be dodging the charity auction, considering he wasn’t engaged or looking to be.
“Oh, good. Glad I’m not the only one ready for a drink at twelve-oh-five.”
Caleb and Matt turned to see fellow TCC member Ryan Bateman striding toward them. He took a seat on the other side of Matt and adjusted his Stetson.
“It’s Friday,” Matt stated. “Might as well kick off the weekend a little early.”
“Hey, I heard you were the new recruit for the auction.” Ryan let out a bark of laughter. “None of us are safe. You’ve been in town, what? Two weeks?”
The bartender set the drinks down and took Ryan’s order. Matt curled his fingers around his tumbler and blew out a sigh. “Yeah, I was added most likely because this guy took himself off the market,” he said, nodding toward Caleb.
“I’m a catch,” Caleb drawled. “What can I say?”
“I just hope the fantasy date I’m supposed to go on involves steak,” Ryan added as he took his beer from the bartender. “Other than that, I don’t care.”
Matt cared a hell of a whole lot about his fantasy date. If Rachel wasn’t on the receiving end, he didn’t want to be with anyone else. Sure he dated quite a bit over the years, but lately he wasn’t wanting to get mixed up with anyone else. Besides, he knew exactly what she liked...in bed and out. Didn’t it just make sense she bid on him? Damn stubborn woman putting an expiration date on their bedroom escapades...
Would she be jealous if he took another woman out? That wasn’t a game he wanted to play, but if Rachel didn’t bid, then he’d obviously have to wine and dine someone else.
“I have a buddy who would be a great candidate for the auction,” Ryan chimed in. “Tripp Noble. That guy is down for anything.”
Matt sipped on his bourbon, welcoming the slight burn as the liquid made its way through his body. “I’ll let Rachel know. She’s been working hard on the social media aspect and getting the headshots ready for the posters. I doubt it’s too late to add another, especially if it brings more money.”
“Did I hear you and Rachel were at Daily Grind the other day for a date?” Caleb asked, a knowing smile on his face. “You may be off the market, too, if you’re not careful.”
Matt shook his head in denial. Their coffee “date” had been their first encounter in a year. So much had happened since then and none of it was about to be shared here.
“I’m not looking for a wife,” he explained, shaking his head. “I’m just stepping in to help the cause.”
“I wasn’t looking for a wife, either,” Caleb threw back. “These are the mysteries of life.”
Oh, there was no mystery for Matt. He wasn’t getting married anytime soon. Maybe one day he’d like a family, but he hadn’t given it much thought, and he was too busy now to nurse another commitment.
He tipped back the remainder in his glass and came to his feet. After throwing enough bills down to cover all drinks, Matt glanced between his two friends. “I’d best get back to work.”
“Are you using one of the offices here today?” Caleb asked.
Matt nodded. “I’ll be here another couple hours.” Until he traded his dress clothes for jeans, a T-shirt and work boots and headed back to the farm. He needed to get a call into his partner, but Matt’s assistant had told him that Eric was out until this afternoon.
It was time to make a decision on the sale of the business...or Matt’s half, anyway. Considering he kept feeling a void in his life he couldn’t quite describe, perhaps it was time to start liquidating things that didn’t fulfill him anymore—like his partnership.
“I’ll probably be here later this evening,” he added. “The Bellamy has an amazing restaurant, but I’m thinking beer and billiards sounds more like what I need.”
“If that’s an invite, I’ll be here, too,” Ryan added. “I’ll bring Tripp.”
“Shelby is going to some makeup party, so I’m also free tonight,” Caleb supplied, dangling the neck of his beer bottle between two fingers. “It’s been a while since I played pool.”
“Looking forward to crushing all three of you,” Matt said with a smile.
“You want to put money on that?” Ryan asked, quirking his brow.
“I can get behind that.” Matt adjusted the rolled-up sleeves on his forearms. “But don’t whine when I take all your money.”
The guys tossed back insults as Matt headed toward the hallway leading to the offices. He loved being a member of TCC in Dallas, but connecting with the guys in Royal made him feel even more welcome than at his regular clubhouse.
Royal was definitely a town anyone would be lucky to live in. But he wasn’t so sure it was for him. First of all, once the auction was over and he and Rachel ended their...dalliance, Matt wasn’t sure he could stay in a town where he saw her every day. Because he was absolutely positive she’d want to stay here for the long haul.
He and Rachel would go back to being friends, he’d go to Galloway Cove until he figured out what he wanted to fulfill him and Rachel would meet another guy and settle down, just like she was meant to do.
Without him.
A heavy dose of jealousy and fear came over him as he realized he didn’t want to see her with another man. Hadn’t the years of seeing and hearing her with Billy been en
ough?
So what now? How did he carry on with his life and career and attempt to figure out what was missing? How did he move on like Rachel hadn’t touched something so deeply inside him?
Matt had never been this confused, this out of control of his own emotions. And he didn’t like it, not one damn bit.
Twelve
Rachel tugged at her dress once more. Mercy sakes. Hadn’t this dress been a few inches longer? She’d tried this on at the Halloween shop, but being in a dressing room and getting ready to leave your house were obviously two totally different scenarios.
Ellie was down in the family room playing with the chef, who seemed to be doubling as a nanny lately. Since the party was adults only, Gus and Alexis had both demanded Rachel make an appearance because she was working on the auction. Any way they could talk it up and promote it, they would.
So Rachel stood before the floor-length mirror and tugged at her flapper dress once more. Her only saving grace was the added fringe around the bottom. She just couldn’t bend over. Or breathe. Or lift her arms.
Really, what could go wrong?
There was no plan B by way of costumes unless she went as a haggard mother, so Rachel blew out a sigh, adjusted her sequined headband around her forehead, then grabbed her matching black clutch from the dresser.
She did feel a little silly going out with a fringe dress, bright red lips and these stilettos. She should be braless, in her sweatpants and getting ready to give Ellie a bath. That was her routine...save for a few nights ago when she’d been wrapped in Matt’s arms once again.
Heat coursed through her and she shivered just as she had at his first touch. He’d been so thorough in their lovemaking—likely because he’d been waiting for so long to have her.
There was no denying that a good portion of her nerves had his name written all over them. He would be at the party and she had no idea how he’d come dressed. No doubt whatever he chose, he’d set her heart beating faster.
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