by David Lubar
“Tarnation”
Little kids have their own amazing mythology about things like monsters. I liked the idea of a little kid getting involved in something that actually worked. Of course, I liked it even better when I realized how it could backfire.
“Ten Pounds of Chocolate”
Every Halloween, I hear kids passing the word about which houses give out the biggest candy bars. The news almost takes on the feel of a legend. I’d been playing around with a different idea, about Halloween candy that turns into something bad, but when I started thinking about big bars of chocolate, it led me in a new direction.
“The Boy Who Wouldn’t Talk”
I get a lot of ideas by thinking about things that don’t quite fit into the normal world. There always seems to be one kid in each class who doesn’t talk. The fun part is figuring out why.
“Invasion of the Road Weenies”
Like the character in the story, I noticed that adult joggers never smile. As I started wondering about this, I realized that something must be making them jog. This was the best explanation I could come up with.
“We Interrupt This Program”
I think I was playing with the remote when I got this idea. There were actually a couple buttons hidden under a sliding panel. There was nothing as exciting as “insert.” It was just stuff like a sleep timer (which I never figured out how to use, or even had any desire to use). Mundane or not, those buttons gave me the idea.
“The Smell of Death”
I’ve always been concerned about the excessive use of pesticides, and amused by the people who are so in love with their lawns that they will wash themselves in chemicals for the sake of grass that looks nicer than the neighbors’. (See In the Land of the Lawn Weenies for another example of this.)
“The Shortcut”
I remember getting caught in a major rainstorm when I was a kid. When I started writing this story, all I had in mind was a couple of very wet kids. Once they walked into the hospital, it was easy to know where to send them. I try to end every collection with a really scary story. I hope this one did the trick.
Well, that wraps up this collection. Now that I’ve covered lawn weenies and road weenies, I need to think about who might be next. Maybe those all-too-serious guys in their funny shorts and high-tech helmets who don’t know that bicycles are supposed to be fun. Hmmm . . . bike weenies . . . Now there’s an idea I can sink my mind into.
