Of course, Ivy realized, a chill spreading through her, Baen had never said anything about love. There had been plenty of talk about destiny and fate and even more talk about this just being the way things were, but no one had even brought up the subject of emotions. She didn’t know if that realization made things better or worse.
On the one hand, it took some of the pressure off. If Baen wasn’t proclaiming his undying love for her, then she didn’t need to sort out the snarled mess of her own emotions any time soon, and thanks to the bloody Light for that. At this point, Ivy didn’t think she even wanted to know how she was feeling, especially as it pertained to the behemoth currently kneeling at her feet. So, no L-word meant no hurry in deciding how she felt about him in return, and that was a huge relief.
But on the other hand, what did it mean that he could call her his mate and assume that she was meant to free him from the eternal cycle of being trapped in his stony cage, and yet have no special feelings for her whatsoever? Was that really any better? The idea that he might want to stay with her out of some notion that the rules required him to, actually made her a little queasy. It sounded too much like some kind of medieval marriage of convenience, and what girl in her right mind would agree to that kind of nightmare? It certainly would not be Ivy.
And that brought her full circle, right back to the point where she felt overwhelmed and confused and exhausted and somehow terrified of something way scarier than the end of the world as she knew it, even if she couldn’t quite decide what that was.
Ivy dragged her eyes away from Baen’s and looked around just to give herself time to clear her head. To her horror, she found every other occupant of the room watching her and the man at her feet as if they were performing a scene from a newly discovered Shakespearean drama. Like she needed that kind of pressure.
But it did give her the impetus to decide that whatever the hell was going on at the moment, it could keep going on for a few more hours until she felt damned good and ready to deal with it. Whatever was happening between her and Baen wasn’t going to kill them or anyone else. Therefore, it could be tabled for later discussion.
Of course, that didn’t mean she was going to let him off the hook until then. She wasn’t an idiot.
She pursed her lips. “Do you honestly think the idea that upsetting me was an accident makes it all right?”
He shook his head. “Of course not, but I could not stand it if you thought me capable of causing you deliberate harm, either physically or emotionally. I would never hurt you, and I would destroy any other who even made the attempt.”
Okay, at some point she would need to tell him that while protectiveness could be sexy, threatening other people with murder and/or mayhem really was not.
“All right,” she said after a moment. “I’ll take your word for it. You didn’t mean to hurt me, but that doesn’t mean I’m suddenly okay with all this, because I’m not. We’re going to need to talk about things a lot more before I can even wrap my head around them, let alone figure out how I feel about everything.”
She stretched out her legs, and Baen immediately sprang to his feet to help her stand. “Anything you say, amare. I will answer every question you want to ask, and I will hide nothing from you. I swear it.”
“You’d better not.”
Ivy turned to the group and reached for some tattered semblance of dignity. “Rose, I don’t know if you intended to put us all up for the night, but I’m exhausted. Is there any chance you have a room available for crashing?”
“Mais oui.” The dark-haired woman rose from her perch on a settee almost as elegant as herself. “Come, I will show you.”
“Thanks.”
Ivy fell into step behind her hostess, only to jerk to a stop when Baen moved to follow. “Uh, and where do you think you’re going, big guy?”
The Guardian blinked down at her, opened his mouth, then caught himself. He clearly had second thoughts about what he had been about to say. “I—you—it—”
She folded her arms across her chest. “Take your time. I can wait.”
His jaw closed with a snap, flexed a few times, then opened to allow for a very cautious second attempt. “This has been a very dangerous time for you, amare,” he finally managed. “I wish to see you safe and well protected at all times.”
“That’s very nice of you,” she acknowledged, conscious of Rose standing beside her and fighting a smile. “I appreciate the concern, but we’re in a house full of Wardens. A safe house. And now there are two other Guardians here besides you. I think the chances of me staying safe in another room are pretty high, don’t you?”
“But…” He trailed off. His expression told Ivy he had a thousand things to say but had wisely figured out that none of them would gain him anything other than a knee to the crotch. He deflated, his shoulders sagging and his expression turning down into what on any other person in the universe Ivy would have sworn was a pout.
She smiled. “Good night, Baen.”
He grumbled in return. “Good night, amare. Sleep well.”
“Oh, I will,” she said, and with that she spun on her heel and gestured for Rose to lead her out of the room. A small wave to the company and they disappeared behind a set of closed doors.
It felt good to win that round. Now they would just have to see what happened when the bell rang to start the next one.
Chapter Sixteen
Baen watched the parlor doors close behind his mate and their hostess and tried to figure out exactly what had just happened. They had gone from discussing the current threat from the Order, to reviewing the history of the Guardians, to a few tense moments when he had been certain Ivy was about to either tear out his throat or remove his testicles with her cocoa spoon. And then she had somehow used his own apology against him and turned it into a way to wriggle out of any further discussion.
So now here he was, standing like an idiot in the center of a room that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a private wing at Versailles, wondering how he’d gotten there. What in the name of the Light had that tiny, redheaded woman done to him?
Behind him, his brothers broke into hearty chuckles. He rounded on them with a challenging scowl. “You have things you wish to say to me, fratres?”
The one called Knox held up a palm and grinned. “Only that we feel your pain, brother. Welcome to the world of human mates. Do not worry. You will learn the native language here. Eventually.”
His Warden reached out from her chair to smack his leg. “Watch it, big guy. Are you trying to imply that anything Ivy just said to him was unreasonable?”
“Yeah, because I thought she went pretty easy on him,” Kylie said. “No name calling, no physical violence. I was impressed by her restraint.”
“Anyone with a firm grasp on the situation and the good fortune not to have their thinking clouded by testosterone would be.” Wynn shot the Guardians a pointed look and pushed out of her chair. “In fact, I think we should go congratulate her, Koyote. We wouldn’t want her to start doubting herself now.”
The tiny woman bounced out of her seat and made a sweeping gesture toward the door. “Absolutely not. You’re right. After you, Pooh Bear.”
Their Guardians said not a word and just watched them leave the room with resigned expressions. Once the door closed behind them, Knox turned back to Baen and sighed. “Do you see what we mean?”
“Are they always like that? All of them?”
“All of them,” Dag said with feeling. Baen could hear it in his deep, gravelly voice. “Just wait until Kees and Spar get here. They will back us up. Human females are…” He broke off and frowned, as if unable to find the correct word.
“They’re exhausting,” Knox finished. “More so than a three-day battle without food or drink.”
“And more dangerous.”
Knox nodded and stepped around to drop into the chair his Warden had just vacated. “Exactly. Take your eyes off them for a moment, and they will find trouble. Or it will find the
m. They seem to have some sort of magnetic pull toward potential disaster. Just wait. You’ll see soon enough.”
“I think I already have,” Baen muttered. “I woke barely two days ago to the sight of Ivy trapped in an alley, surrounded by three minor demons, and armed with nothing more than a small silver knife. And since then, no matter where I have taken her or how careful I have been, we have been attacked three more times. Three! In just forty-eight hours. I can hardly believe it is possible.”
“Only where a human female is concerned.”
Baen did not find Dag’s qualification comforting. “How are we supposed to keep them safe if they are under such constant siege? Ivy seems unable to obey my commands without arguing. She must always question why, or offer her own ideas on tactics. I exist for the purpose of keeping humans safe, and yet it is as if she questions my ability to protect her.”
He slumped down onto the ornate sofa, feeling an instant of relief that it did not immediately collapse beneath his weight. Even though his gaze had fixed glumly on the carpet at his feet, he saw out of the corner of his eye when Dag pushed away from the mantel and took the position opposite his.
Dag made a face expressing sympathy, disgust, resignation, and shared bafflement, all at once. “Believe me, brother, we have all been there. We have each stood where you are standing and wondered how in the Light it had come to this. There is no controlling these women. The best you can hope for is … discreet management.”
“What?”
Knox nodded. “He is right. To attempt to force your mate to bow to your authority will only result in your failure, her rebellion, and your mutual misery. Trust me, I know.”
“We all do,” Dag said. He peered at Baen for a moment. “She is your mate, yes? You did not say—”
Baen glowered at him. “She is mine.”
“Good. That will give you a small but crucial advantage,” Knox said, leaning forward. “The only certain way to ensure that these females follow your orders and stay safe is to make them want to do it. They must feel that remaining out of harm’s way is the best way to contribute to your safety and victory in battle. Her feelings for you will make her want to keep you safe as well, so if she knows that worrying for her could distract you at a dangerous moment, she will be more likely to remain out of harm’s way.”
“They think they are humoring us,” Dag agreed. “I do not care how they choose to view it so long as Kylie stays safe.”
Baen shifted uncomfortably. Such tactics might work for these two, but their Wardens were obviously committed to them, the strength and intimacy of their relationships obvious to any who looked at them. He and his little human were still sailing in an entirely different boat. Hell, he wasn’t sure they were even on the same vessel.
He had to force the confession out through gritted teeth. “Ivy has not yet accepted our relationship fully. She does not consider herself my mate.”
Dag fixed him with an incredulous stare. “Then change her mind, brother. And do it quickly.”
“What sound advice, brother,” Baen bit out. “Such an idea had never occurred to me. Where would I be without your sage counsel?”
Knox held up his hands. “Enough. Dag, need I remind you of your own early days with Kylie? If I do, you might remember a few moments when you, too, struggled with this stage in your relationship. Or maybe I should just tell Kylie that you seem to think you had her wrapped around your finger from the very beginning.”
The statement sounded innocuous on the surface, but it clearly registered as a threat to the stocky Guardian. Dag turned a little pale and quickly backed off without so much as a grumble.
Knox focused his attention back on Baen. “What issue does she have with your mating? Is it merely a matter of speed? Because most human women seem to doubt a bond can be formed on such brief acquaintance. Their people have forgotten the power that Fate holds over us all. If that is the central issue, then Wynn and Kylie might be able to offer her reassurance and guidance.”
“That does seem to concern her,” Baen admitted. “But she also remains reluctant to admit she is even my Warden, no matter how often I assure her it is true.”
“What do you mean? How can she doubt what she is?” Dag sounded baffled by the very concept.
“She does not believe she has the ability to use magic, and she feels her talent is useless and too insignificant to qualify her to be a woman of power. She thinks she is not capable of being a Warden, or that she is somehow unworthy of membership in the Guild, and yet her family has been associated for generations.”
“What talent does she possess?” Dag asked. “My Kylie once thought her own technology magic was merely the result of training and talent, but Wynn and the others demonstrated to her that it was much more than that. Perhaps they could help with your human as well.”
“Ivy is a clairaudient. She hears conversations and events that take place in remote locations,” Baen explained. “She does not like to discuss her abilities, but from what little I have been able to gather from her, I think it is largely fueled empathically. Her clearest episodes seem to be linked to emotionally charged situations. Her uncle and her cousin were both Wardens. She said that she heard them die at the hands of the Darkness.”
Knox winced. “That would be enough to shake any human. Wynn was forced to see her own brother fall after he had been used as a vessel for the corruption of Uhlthor. It caused her immense pain. And she is proof that coming from a Guild family does not necessarily prepare a human to become a Warden. In fact, it can serve as a barrier for some. My mate did not doubt her abilities, but she did doubt that the Guild would welcome her, or any female, into their ranks.”
Dag’s expression showed his distaste for that situation. “From what I have seen and heard since waking, her doubt was not unfounded. Something happened to the Guild over the years. I do not know when they began to shun the contributions of talented females, but it is clear that they did and that the decision cost them dearly. Every one of our mates should have received Guild membership and training, and yet few of them even knew the Wardens existed before we came to them.”
“Believe me, my mate has plans to deal with that issue as soon as the threat from the Darkness has been eliminated. I pity any survivors of the old guard who attempt to gainsay her.”
The pair chuckled, but Baen remained focused on Ivy. “That may be helpful in the future, but right now I am still faced with a mate who doubts herself, as well as the challenge of keeping her safe while I attempt to find a way to cement our relationship.”
The others grew serious again and exchanged rueful glances before Knox once more spoke. “This will not please you to hear, but if you wait, your bond with Ivy will sort itself out. You are mates. That is the will of Fate, ordained by the Light. Even if she wished to resist it, no one—not human, not Guardian—can defy Fate. She will have to admit to your connection sooner or later.”
Baen bared a fang. “You are correct; I am not pleased. What if she fights so hard that she places herself in danger? Again. I cannot allow my mate to come to harm, but I fear that if I attempt to force her to comply with my orders, even if they are given with only her safety in mind—she will endanger herself to spite me.”
The looks on the faces of his brothers told Baen that the scenario he envisioned wasn’t that far-fetched. These human women were defiant to the bone.
“There is really only one thing you can do,” Knox finally admitted. “You must keep her by your side. If you do not let her out of your sight, your mate cannot walk into danger without you being close enough to defend her.”
Baen waited a beat, certain his brother must have something else, some much more valuable piece of advice, to offer. After all, even Baen could have come up with “stick close.” It wasn’t exactly advanced mathematics.
“That’s it?” he demanded. “That is the best counsel you can give me? That’s no better than what he said.” He poked his finger in Dag’s direction.
Dag
shrugged. “Do you think either of us have magical insight into the workings of the female mind? We are no different from you, brother. We merely have a few months’ head start on you.”
“Comforting.”
Knox chuckled. “Trust us, Baen. It will work out. You may tear out some of your hair in the meantime, but it will be all right in the end. So long as we win victory over the Darkness, everything else will fall into place.”
“Of course. No pressure.”
Clenching his jaw, Baen rose and strode from the room. Helpful bunch, those brothers of his. Catching the tone of his own thoughts, he cursed. Apparently, his little human’s tendency toward sarcasm was contagious. If only she could catch something from him in turn.
Preferably the conviction that the two of them belonged together.
Forever.
Chapter Seventeen
Ivy woke the next morning to a house in chaos and the knowledge that the Guardian she had evaded last night was a hell of a lot sneakier than she had suspected. Somehow he had managed to creep into her bedroom while she slept and crawl into her bed without waking her. Now, he lay pressed up against her back with one arm draped over her waist and a possessive hand cupping her breast.
Refusing to think about why she felt so comfortable with this man that she hadn’t woken while any of that happened, she reached out to pry herself free from his embrace. As it turned out, Baen was a much lighter sleeper than she.
The instant she shifted, his arm tightened around her and his hand turned from merely possessive to covetous. She felt his breath stirring the fine hairs at the nape of her neck and fought hard to suppress a shiver. The last thing he needed was encouragement.
“Baen, what are you doing in my bed?” she asked, cursing the husky sound of her own voice. It was only because she’d just woken up, but it sounded all sexy and inviting, which were the last things she felt at the moment.
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