She dabbed her cheeks with her handkerchief as she heard Reina come through the front door. “Okaeri,” Aiko greeted.
Reina entered the living room and plopped her briefcase on the floor. “What are you watching?” she asked, while Aiko pushed some hot tea toward her.
“One of the most beautiful movies ever.”
Reina sneered. “These two shitheads? They’re so feminine.”
“They’re abandoning everything they ever knew to be with each other.”
“Ugh. Are they at least hot naked?”
“Mou!” Aiko got up and turned off the TV. She cleaned up her tea-time dishes and got some crackers for Reina to eat. “You don’t appreciate anything beautiful like that.”
Reina took the crackers and stuffed some in her mouth, the crumbs raining all over her dark business suit. “Who cares? This stuff is grossly sappy.”
“There’s no such thing.” Reina could make fun of Aiko’s movies all she wanted, but it didn’t mean she was right. “Nee, are you expected to go into work tomorrow?” It was the day before Golden Week, and Reina was home in the mid-afternoon per her company’s custom before holidays, but there had been years when Reina still had to work Saturday mornings.
“Nope! It’s vacation time!” Reina flung herself back onto the carpet and swung her arms around – Aiko worried she would whack a limb on something. “Yasu kita!”
“Good! Because I wanted to talk to you about going to Nikko on Sunday…”
“Ugh.” Reina slammed her teacup onto the table and shrugged out of her blazer. “We’ve been to Nikko before. What’s there to do in Nikko that we haven’t done already? Fuck at the bottom of a waterfall?”
Aiko froze and watched the tea inside Reina’s cup slosh back and forth. “Nikko is beautiful.”
“And?”
Defeat conceded. Hard enough getting Reina to go to Nikko the first time years ago, back when they had a car and could drive themselves to Nagano Prefecture instead of waiting around on trains. Reina was never into traditional sight-seeing, which was all Nikko was good for. As much as Aiko loved the towering tombs and the pristine waterfalls, she admitted to seeing Reina frown on more than one occasion on their trip. “Never mind. You’re right. We’ve been there before.”
“I…” Reina stifled herself with more tea. “I didn’t say you shouldn’t go. You should go be with your family, if that’s what you want.”
Aiko hoped she would say that, but it didn’t make the sting of Reina’s previous words throb any less. “Well, he invited you, too.”
“Did he? Or did he just not not invite me?” Reina clicked her tongue. “Your brother hates me. Your whole family hates me.”
“Does not!” Aiko was too quick to defend her brother, who would grit his teeth and brace himself every time Aiko and Reina showed up together somewhere. He knew what they were, but like the rest of the Takeuchi clan, he preferred blindness. Omitting Reina from the picture was one way to do that. “I suppose they do. A little. It’s not their fault though…they’re just…old fashioned.”
Reina raised an eyebrow and sipped at the last of her tea. “That’s one way of putting it,” she said. “But no, go have fun with your family. I can take care of myself.”
Aiko laughed so loud she had to plant her hand over her mouth to contain another offending sound. When Reina slumped her shoulders, Aiko said, “You? Take care of yourself? Oh, you’re a riot, Reina-chan.”
“What! I know how to use the toaster oven!”
“What are you going to eat? Bread?” The last time Reina was left alone in the house for a couple of days, she had eaten nothing but instant ramen, a take-out dinner from the convenient store, and coffee. She must be kidding.
“Hey, there’s a family restaurant over by the station now! I can eat dinner there!”
“A family restaurant on a Sunday night during Golden Week? Are you a glutton for punishment?” Aiko shook her head. “No, I’ll go to the supermarket tomorrow and make a dinner so big you can eat leftovers on Sunday. Just promise me you’ll eat something fresh!” Aiko wagged a finger in Reina’s face before she could reply. “Carrots and bean sprouts drenched in a yakisoba box from the convenience store do not count as fresh!”
“Mou.” Reina stood and marched into the kitchen. “I know how to take care of myself!”
Aiko followed and found Reina staring into the refrigerator. Various meats, vegetables, and a carton of eggs stared back at her, all uncooked and unsorted. Typically the only thing Reina pulled out of the fridge was a cold drink. “And what would you cook for yourself from all of that?”
“I once made fried rice in high school.”
“Fried rice! Are you kidding!”
Aiko maintained her smile so it was the first thing Reina saw when she whipped around to bark something at her – Reina’s mouth contorted from aggressive to bemused in less than a second. “Are you teasing me?” she asked.
“Maybe. Just promise me you’ll eat at least a fruit while I’m gone.”
“I like apples.”
“I’ll make sure to buy you some tomorrow then!”
Reina closed the fridge door and puffed out her cheeks like a child on the verge of a tantrum. “How will I stay amused while you’re gone?”
Aiko spun on her foot and went out into the living room to clean up the tea items. “There are things that vibrate in our bedroom, I hear. Amuse yourself with those.”
She could feel Reina’s awkward stare while picking up the cups and crackers onto a tray. Heh, that should shut her up for a while. As Aiko went to walk back into the kitchen her cell phone buzzed on the table, and she bent down to see a flirty message from Yuri – she asked if she could come over for a “play date,” their new euphemism for fornication.
Reina intercepted Aiko in the kitchen entrance. “Yuri wants to come over,” Aiko announced, holding up the phone so Reina could see.
“Pft. So? Maybe you two can enjoy that stupid movie.”
Aiko’s eyes rolled so hard she thought she’d never see again. “She wants to come over, you idiot.”
It took about two seconds for that to register in Reina’s work-frazzled mind. “Oh? Oh. Well invite her over! Come on! It takes her like fifteen minutes to get going and she ain’t got all afternoon!” She flung her arms up into the air and walked toward the toilet room.
Aiko grinned and sent Yuri a text telling her about the situation. While she waited for a reply, she texted her brother and told him she would love to go with his family to Nikko on Sunday, but dear Reina sadly could not join them.
Yuri replied – excited; her brother replied – ecstatic.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
Reina locked the door and turned to face her best friend. Michiko stood with her hands behind her back, dangling her purse behind her bare legs. Between her tantalizing smirk and her American confidence, Reina thought it was time to throw her down onto the nearby bed and “do this” until their time was up.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Reina asked, extending a hand to touch Michiko’s arm.
She took a step back out of Reina’s reach; her brown hair bounced above her shoulders. “Because Ai-chan. Does she know you’re here with me?”
“I told her you and I were going out today.”
“But did you tell her we would go to a love hotel?” Michiko dropped her purse onto the floor. “Noooo you didn’t, you naughty girl.”
“It’s fine.” Reina took off her jacket and hung it up on a coat rack in the corner of the room; she went and picked up Michiko’s purse to put there too. “She has her little girlfriend she fucks while I’m at work. What’s the difference?”
Michiko followed Reina’s lead and took off her jacket too, so all she stood in were her black pullover and sepia mini-skirt. Her style never changed. Then again, neither did Reina’s, who still wore the same jeans and sweaters or T-shirts she always wore since the dawn of her life. That day she also wore a black pullover, a happy coincidence. “I jus
t want to make sure,” Michiko said, straightening out her jacket and purse on the wall. “It’s been years since you and I had total privacy.” She turned, her taunting eyes meeting Reina’s.
A bolt of desire shot down Reina’s spine and capsized in her loins. When they were in high school and working they had all the time in the world to explore each other and speak in the made-up language of their wants and needs. Michiko had not been Reina’s first real experience with another girl, but she had been the one to show Reina how emotional sex could be as well. Since then she supposed she harbored some feelings for Michiko extending beyond their long-time friendship.
“Too long.”
“Well, then, if it was okay for you to be with me separately before, why didn’t we ever do this?” Michiko sauntered over, her hips swaying and her lips beckoning.
Reina clutched her hands together. “I don’t know. We should have.” She averted her eyes for a moment and then stared at Michiko’s American face again – she had the natural hair texture and figure of her Japanese mother, but her features, from the round eyes to the lifted cheek bones, were from her Caucasian father. “I miss you, Mi-chan.”
She leaned in to kiss Michiko’s cheek, the hefty musk of her perfume wafting into Reina’s nose. She had smelled it all through their lunch and held herself back from burrowing her entire face into Michiko’s body so she could inhale it like a drug. Aiko’s perfume, when she wore any, was sick and sweet like spring flowers. Hardly an evoker of carnal pleasures.
Michiko said nothing while Reina kissed her on the cheek and on the shoulder. They had reserved the tiny bedroom for three hours, plenty of time for Reina to enjoy herself and her friend. Making love to her was therapy. It’s been almost a year since I last saw her, kissed her.
Finally, after what felt an agonizing eternity, Michiko lifted her hand into Reina’s hair. “I miss you too.”
The way they kissed was their language explaining all their feelings to each other. Reina felt her mind explode in so many different words she didn’t understand, words neither Japanese nor English, words meaning nothing and everything at the same time. That emotion bubbled from her heart to her tongue and she gave it to Michiko, imparted via a deep and sensuous kiss reaching into the back of her tender throat.
In those moments Reina forgot everyone else – yes, including Aiko. She would never tell her…she knew better than to ever tell her! Aiko was already self-conscious around Michiko half the time anyway: the woman Reina couldn’t have. Michiko was the only other woman besides Aiko that Reina asked to have something “more” than just casual sex with. But Michiko was the one who turned her down, not Aiko. I think it’s what they call “The One Who Got Away.” So compatible in mind and body that they were completely incompatible in spirit, as Michiko explained it to Reina years before.
“Reina…” Michiko pulled out of her embrace. “Let’s take it easy.” She patted Reina’s cheek and led her to the bed, their hands intertwined. Michiko sat and pulled Reina down next to her.
It already felt like they were taking it easy. Reina wanted nothing more than to let her desire overcome her and turn the bed into a messy testament of their time together. But she listened, although her body pulsed in time to her heartbeat.
“How are you, Reina?”
“Ehh?” She shrank back with a twisted face. “Where did that come from?”
“I want to talk.”
“We talked at lunch!”
“But not about much.” Michiko traced a pattern on the top of Reina’s hand. “You never told me how you felt or what you were up to recently…that wasn’t your girlfriend or random lingerie marketers you found in gay bars.”
Reina averted her eyes and contemplated the tacky red swirls on the bedspread. The closer she looked the more the swirls looked like phallic-shaped-objects inserting themselves into circles. Were those romantic? Reina didn’t know the first thing about romance other than what it took to get a woman in bed. Something about flowers; something about love notes; something about “I love you.”
“Love” was a word for the movies, however. Love didn’t exist in the real world. Not in the world Reina lived in, where she had to play the role of a man. How could “love” thrive in that sort of condition?
“Reina?”
She looked into Michiko’s expectant face, with its tight brows and pursed lips – brows meant for smoothing and lips meant for nibbling. Reina fought back the urge to fling herself on her best friend and “tell her” what was wrong, what was right, everything wonderfully in between. Let me talk to you in our language.
“Uh…well I guess…things are fine.” Reina folded her hands in her lap, waiting for Michiko to tell her this weight lifting was over. What was Mi-chan thinking, anyway? She knew Reina wasn’t a talker. “Work is…fine. Home is…fine.”
Michiko tilted her head to one side and used the mischievous smile Reina loved when used to beguile other women…not so much when used to lure her into some trap. “Are you sure?”
“I think I would know!”
“’Cause that’s not what I hear.”
“And what do you hear?” Reina could see a wall built between them, and soon she would need more than her own lust to break it down and unite the divided borders.
Michiko’s smile faded, and she put on the blank expression Reina knew was reserved for serious discussions, like when she told their old manager she would quit the entertainment industry to move back to America, or when she stood at her mother’s funeral holding the portrait of a woman no one was sure she loved. “Did you know Ai-chan called me a couple months ago when you two were fighting?”
“What?” Reina was disgusted, although she wasn’t sure if it was from the phone bill she ended up paying or from Aiko airing out their dirty laundry across an ocean. “No. What fantastic tales did she tell you about me?”
“She just said you two had been fighting for a while. And she was fairly upset by it, I could tell.” Michiko extended her hand and put it over Reina’s. “What happened? She only told me a small part of it…”
“It was nothing.” Reina wanted to retract her hand but couldn’t find it in herself to abandon Michiko’s soft touch. “Just a misunderstanding. We sorted it out.”
Michiko snorted. “Have you told her you love her lately?”
Reina was lucky she had a cigarette pulled out and a lighter to match, for she needed something to keep her mouth occupied while she fumbled for answers. “What the hell has gotten into you?” She exhaled away from her friend, the smoke pluming into the empty void of the bedroom. Reina caught a glimpse of the watch on her wrist and noted they had used up fifteen minutes of their time on this useless dribble. Reina had every intention of making sure Michiko could still last long in bed.
“Just wondering.” Michiko’s mouth twitched with more burning questions, but thankfully she did not ask any of them. Maybe she finally grasped it was not her business. “I would hate if something happened to you two.” Or not.
“Damnit! We’re not breaking up!” Reina puffed more of her cigarette with one hand and snatched out the other from Michiko’s grasp. “Everything was fine…just fine…until she started spouting this ‘marriage’ and ‘love’ shit all the time!”
“Is there something wrong with that?”
“It’s not realistic!” Reina slammed her half-finished cigarette into the ashtray by the bed. She could feel Michiko’s eyes swell with pity.
“What’s not realistic?”
Reina already regretted getting rid of her cigarette. “You know…marriage…stuff.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s not possible!” Was it getting hot in there? Reina fidgeted with her sweater. “We’re not as advanced here with those things like you Americans are!”
A laugh escaped Michiko’s lips before she put her hand up to her mouth to stifle more. “You know lesbians have been getting ‘married’ even in Japan for years now, right? Sure it’s not legal but…”
�
�Mi-chan, stop.” Reina stared at the floor, her hands scratching her lap. “I can’t talk about this.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t talk!” Something stung behind her eyes. She wouldn’t cry, she knew that. She hadn’t cried since she was seventeen and her mother threatened to disown her for dishonoring her dead father. “I don’t…I don’t want to do things like that. You know I take care of things my way.”
“Of course you do. But you can’t just think of your own way when you’re in a relationship with somebody.”
“I try to be good…”
“I know you do.”
Reina shoved her head into her hands and shuddered. “She just doesn’t understand.” Michiko’s hand pressed against her back, like an angel tending to her ailments. “We have to be careful. I can’t risk my company finding out…I’m sure they already suspect me…if they fire me I might not be able to find another job…and then what will we do?” Reina rubbed her cheeks with the tips of her fingers. “The neighbors, besides the one, already treat me like I have leprosy, although Ai-chan doesn’t see it because she appears normal. The world sees her and sees a pretty old maid; society sees me and just…” Reina shook her head. “She barely has her family hanging on to her. If we got married…I’m afraid what happened to me and my mother will happen to her.”
Michiko’s helpful hand massaged Reina’s tension as flashbacks filled the room. Although Reina tried to close her eyes and ears to them, she could still see the disgust on her mother’s face and hear those words.
“You are nothing to me.”
“Mi-chan,” she grumbled. “Don’t do this to me right now. I just want to forget.”
Daisuki Page 7
