‘I was working up to it. But if we weren’t serious there didn’t seem any point.’ She gave a tight shrug. ‘I told you from the start I was trying to keep work and things separate—you were the same.’ She turned to go. ‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter now.’
‘We need to talk.’
‘No,’ Jasmine said. ‘I don’t think we do.’
‘Nothing happened between Penny and I,’ Jed said. ‘Absolutely nothing. I can see now why you were upset, why you felt you couldn’t ask.’
And now it was, Jasmine realised, time to face things properly, not make an excuse about being tired and scuttle off. ‘It’s actually not about whether or not you slept with Penny.’ Jasmine swallowed. ‘I mean, had you, of course it would have mattered.’ He saw the hurt that burnt in her eyes as she looked up at him.
‘You gave me no chance to explain,’ Jasmine said. ‘I was struggling—really struggling to tell you something, and you just talked over me, just decided I was too much hard work. You didn’t even answer my question. You just threw everything back in my face.’
She would not cry, she would not. ‘It took guts to leave my marriage,’ Jasmine said. ‘But it just took common sense to end things with you. In any relationship there are arguments, Jed.’ She looked right at him as she said it. ‘And from the little I’ve witnessed, you don’t fight fair!’
She saw him open his mouth to argue, but got in first.
‘That’s a no in my book.’
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
HE RANG AND Jasmine didn’t answer.
And she stayed at her mum’s, ringing and answering the phone to various aunts and uncles so even if he went over to her place, she wouldn’t know and more to the point she wasn’t there.
‘Cold tea bags help,’ Penny said when she dropped around that evening and saw her puffy eyes. ‘You don’t want him to see that you’ve been crying.’
‘I could be crying because Mum’s in ICU.’
‘She’s been moved to Coronary Care,’ Penny said, ‘so you don’t have that excuse.’
‘They’ve moved her already?’
‘Yes. Great, isn’t it? And you’ve got the night off from visiting. She was sound asleep when I left her. Still, if you want to go in I can watch Simon.’ She must have seen Jasmine’s blink of surprise. ‘I am capable.’
‘I’m sure you are.’ Jasmine grinned. ‘I might just pop in, if you’re sure.’
‘Of course.’
‘He’s asleep,’ Jasmine said. ‘You won’t have to do anything.’
‘I’m sure I’ll cope if he wakes,’ Penny said. ‘And if you are going to see Mum then you need to put on some make-up.’
It didn’t help much, not that her mum would have noticed. She was, as Penny had said, asleep. Still, Jasmine felt better for seeing her, but that feeling faded about five minutes after visiting when she saw Jed coming out of X-Ray.
‘Hi,’ he said.
‘Hi.’
‘I tried to call,’ Jed said, but Jasmine wasn’t interested in talking.
‘I need to get home.’
‘Run off, then,’ Jed said, and Jasmine halted for a second.
‘Sorry?’
‘You said you had to go.’
She opened her mouth to argue. Had he just accused her of running off? But instead of challenging him, she threw him a very disparaging look, and as she marched off, Jasmine knew she didn’t need cold tea bags on her eyes—she was through crying.
Her mum was right—it was completely hereditary.
The Masters women had terrible taste in men!
* * *
Still, even if she would have liked to avoid him it was impossible at work. Everywhere she went she seemed to be landed with him, but she refused to let him get to her, refused to give him the satisfaction that she was running off.
But worse than the department being busy was the times it was quiet and though she had no idea who knew what, she nearly bit on her gums when Lisa gave her a very sweet smile.
‘Could you give Jed a hand, please?’ Lisa said, even though there were five other nurses sitting around. ‘He’s stitching a hand and she won’t stay still on the trolley.’
‘Her name’s Ethel,’ Lisa added. ‘You’ll get to know her soon, she’s one of our regulars.’
‘Sure.’
She painted on a smile and walked into Theatre.
‘Hi, there, Ethel, I’m Jasmine.’
‘Who?’
She was an angry old thing, fuelled on sherry and conspiracy theories, and she made Jasmine laugh.
‘Why would they knock the hospital down?’ Jasmine asked patiently, when Ethel told her the plans were already in and had been approved by the council.
‘Prime real estate,’ Ethel said. ‘Imagine how many townhouses they could put up here.’
‘Have you been talking to my mum?’ Jasmine grinned.
‘All money, isn’t it?’ Ethel grumbled for a while and then spoke about her children, who, from the age of Ethel, must be in their sixties at least. ‘They’re just waiting for me to go,’ Ethel said bitterly. ‘Worried I’m spending their inheritance.’ She peered at Jasmine. ‘Have you got children?’ she asked.
‘None,’ Jasmine happily lied.
‘Husband?’
‘Nope.’
‘Good for you,’ Ethel said. ‘Dating?’
‘Nope.’
‘Quite right, too.’ Ethel said. ‘They’re no good, the lot of them.’ And she ranted for a few minutes about her late husband. ‘They’re all liars and cheats and if they’re not now then they’re just waiting to be. Nasty, the lot of them—except for the lovely doctor here.’
She caught Jed’s eye and they actually managed a slightly wry smile.
‘No, we’re all horrible, Ethel,’ Jed said. ‘You’re quite right not to listen to their sorry excuses.’
And if he’d looked up then he’d have seen Jasmine poke her tongue out.
‘How’s your mum?’ Jed asked, when Ethel gave in and started snoring.
‘Doing well,’ Jasmine said. ‘She should be home on Monday.’
‘How are you?’
‘Good,’ Jasmine said, and hopped off the stool. ‘It looks like she’s sleeping. Just call out if you need a hand.’
‘Sure,’ Jed said, and carried on stitching as Jasmine went to wash her hands.
She knew he was just trying to irritate her as he started humming, knew he was just trying to prove he was completely unbothered working alongside her.
And then she realised what he was humming.
A little song that was familiar, a little song about a little runaway, and when he looked up at her furious face he had the audacity to laugh.
‘You’d better go,’ Jed said. ‘It sounds busy out there.’
There were maybe five patients it the department.
‘Or do you need to pop up to visit your mum?’
He teased her with every excuse she had ever made over the last couple of days whenever he had tried to talk to her.
‘Or is it time to pick up Simon?’
And then he got back to humming his song.
‘I’m not avoiding you or running away.’
‘Good,’ Jed said. ‘Then I’ll be over about eight.’
* * *
‘I don’t want to argue.’
As soon as she opened the door to him, Jasmine said it. ‘I don’t want raised voices...’
‘I didn’t come here for that,’ Jed said. ‘And I wouldn’t do that to Simon and I certainly wouldn’t do that to you.’ He saw her frown of confusion as she let him in. ‘You are right, though—I didn’t fight fair.’ He said it the moment he was inside. ‘And I’m not proud of that. I didn’t give you a chance to explain. I didn�
��t give us a chance.’
He took a seat. ‘And I get it that there were things that you couldn’t talk about easily. I’ve thought about it a lot and I can see how impossible it was for you—after all, if you and Penny had agreed not to tell anyone...’ He looked up at her. ‘You could have told me—I would never have let on.’
‘Perhaps not,’ Jasmine said, ‘but when I thought you two might have been seeing each other...’ She looked at him. ‘Penny insists nothing ever happened.’
‘It didn’t.’
‘Apparently Greg walked in on you two once?’ She wanted to believe her sister, but deep down she was still worried that it was Penny protecting her all over again.
‘Greg walked in on us?’ Jed gave a confused shake of his head, raked his fingers through his hair and pulled on it for a moment, then he gave a small smile as realisation hit. ‘We had words once.’
‘Words.’
‘A lot of words. It was a couple of months ago,’ Jed said, ‘before you were around. In fact...’ he frowned in recall, ‘...it was the same day as your interview. We had a busy afternoon and there was a multi-trauma that I was dealing with and Penny just marched in and tried to take over.’
‘I can imagine.’ Jasmine gave a tight smile.
‘And then she questioned an investigation I was running—Mr Dean was there and I think she was trying to...’ he shrugged, ‘...score points, I guess. I don’t do that.’ Jasmine knew already that he didn’t. ‘And I don’t mind being questioned if it’s merited, but, as I told Penny, she’s never to question me like that in front of a patient again or try and take over unless she thinks I’m putting a patient at risk.’ Jed looked up at her. ‘Which I certainly wasn’t and I told her that.’
‘Oh!’
‘And I asked her to explain her thought process, her rationale behind questioning me,’ Jed said. ‘Which Penny didn’t take to too well.’
‘She wouldn’t.’
‘Your sister’s lousy at confrontation, too.’ Jed smiled.
‘I don’t think so.’
‘Oh, she is,’ Jed assured her. ‘She only likes confrontation when it’s on her terms. You should remember that next time she starts.’
And Jasmine found she was smiling.
‘Greg walked in on us, actually, we were in the IV room, and, yes, I guess he picked up something was going on, but it certainly wasn’t that.’
‘So why wouldn’t you answer me that day?’ Jasmine asked. ‘Why couldn’t you just say that there was nothing going on between the two of you?’
‘Because I’ve spent the last two years convincing myself I’d be mad to get involved with anyone at work.’
‘Especially a single mum?’
‘You could come with ten kids,’ Jed said. ‘It was never about that.’
‘Then why?’
‘Jasmine, please.’ He put up his hand. ‘This is difficult.’ And she knew then he had something to tell her, that she was as guilty as he’d been that night, because she was the one now not letting him speak.
‘I left my last job, not because...’ He really was struggling with it. ‘I got involved with a colleague,’ Jed said. ‘And there’s no big deal about that, or there wasn’t then. She worked in the labs in research and, honestly, for a couple of months it was great.’ He blew out a breath. ‘Then she started talking about children...’
Jasmine opened her mouth and then closed it.
‘I wasn’t sure. I mean, it was early days, but it wasn’t even on the agenda. I told her that. She got upset and that weekend I went out with some friends. I was supposed to go over to hers on the Sunday and I didn’t, no excuse, I just was out and got called into work and I forgot.’ Jasmine nodded. She completely got it—she forgot things all the time.
‘She went crazy,’ Jed said. And it wasn’t so much what he said but the way that he said it, his eyes imploring her to understand that this was no idle statement he was making. ‘I got home that night and she was sitting outside my flat and she went berserk—she said that I was lying to her, that I’d met someone else.’ He took a long breath.
‘She hit me,’ Jed said. ‘But we’re not talking a slap. She scratched my face, bit my hand.’ He looked at Jasmine. ‘I’m six-foot-two, she’s shorter than you and there was nothing I could do. I could have hit her back, but I wouldn’t do that, though, looking back, I think that was exactly what she wanted me to do.’
‘Did you report it?’
He shook his head. ‘What? Walk into a police station and say I’d been beaten up? It was a few scratches.’
‘Jed?’
‘I thought that was it. Obviously, I told her that we were done. She rang and said sorry, said that she’d just lost her head, but I told her it was over and for a little while it seemed that it was, but then she started following me.’
‘Stalking?’
Jed nodded. ‘One evening I was talking to a friend in the car park, nothing in it, just talking. The next day I caught up with her in the canteen and she’d had her car keyed—there were scratches all down the side. I can’t say for sure that it was Samantha...’
‘What did you do?’
‘Nothing for a bit,’ Jed said. ‘Then my flat got broken into and then the phone calls started. It was hell.’
He had never been more honest, had been so matter-of-fact about it when he’d discussed it with others, but he wasn’t feeling matter-of-fact now, because for the first time he was properly reliving that time. The flat tyres he’d come out to, the phone ringing in the night, that he didn’t even want to think of dating, not because he didn’t want to but because of what she might do to any woman he went out with.
‘It all went from bad to worse. In the end she just unravelled—she ended up being admitted to Psych and nearly lost her job.’
‘It’s not your fault.’ She saw the doubt in his expression. ‘Jed, the same way I wasn’t responsible for what my ex did.’
‘That doesn’t stop you looking back,’ Jed said. ‘I go over and over the time we were together and maybe I did let her think I was more serious than I felt.’
‘Oh, come on, Jed. She clearly had issues. If it hadn’t been you it would have been the next guy.’
‘But it was me,’ Jed said. ‘I had more than a year of it. She’s getting help now, apparently, but I just couldn’t stay around,’ Jed admitted. ‘I don’t think it was helping either of us to work in the same hospital and in the end I didn’t want to even be in the same city. That’s why I moved.’
‘That’s awful.’
‘It was,’ Jed said. ‘I wasn’t scared for myself, I could stop her physically, but when she started messing with people I knew, that was enough. And,’ Jed added, ‘I was scared for her too. It was awful to see someone who was basically nice just going to pieces.’ He managed his first smile since he’d arrived that evening. ‘Do you believe me now when I say I had no intention of getting involved with anyone at work?’
‘Yes.’
‘And do you understand why, when you got so upset that I might have once dated Penny, I thought it was all just happening again? I mean, the second we got serious, and we did get serious, you know that we did...’ He waited till she nodded. ‘Well, the next night I come round and you’re standing there, crying and begging to know if I’ve ever hooked up with Penny, if anything, anything had ever happened between us.’
‘I get it.’ Jasmine even managed to laugh. ‘I’d have freaked too, if I were you.’ She went over to him and he pulled her onto his knee. ‘I promise not to stalk you when we break up.’
‘Maybe we won’t.’
‘We’ll see,’ Jasmine said.
‘I know that you wouldn’t now, anyway. You handled the break-up brilliantly,’ Jed added. ‘I mean, a couple of late night phone calls wouldn’t have gone amiss—a few tears..
.’
Jasmine held her finger and thumb together. ‘Just a smidge of obsession?’
‘Careful what you wish for, huh?’ Jed smiled back. ‘I think I dreaded a break-up more than a relationship—and you...’ He smiled at her. ‘You just carried right on.’
‘Not on the inside.’
She’d never admitted it to anyone, not just about Jed but about her fears and her thoughts and how more than anyone in the world she hated confrontation, hated rows, and that, yes, she had been running away. ‘I’ve got to stop avoiding rows...’
‘I think it’s nice that you do.’
But Jasmine shook her head.
‘You’re a lot stronger than you think.’
She didn’t feel very strong sometimes and she told him a little of how it felt to be related to two very strong women who were so accomplished in everything they did.
‘Jasmine,’ Jed asked. ‘What do you want?’
‘Meaning?’
‘What do you want?’
She thought for a moment, about Simon safe and warm and sleeping in his cot and her job that she loved and her little home right on the beach and a relationship that looked like it might be working.
‘What I’ve got,’ Jasmine said.
‘And you’ve worked for it,’ Jed pointed out. ‘You could have listened to your mum and sister and been some high-powered lawyer or doctor and hating every minute of it, or you could be working in the fracture clinic because the hours are better, but instead you’ve stood your ground and you do a job you love... And,’ Jed added, ‘despite a lousy relationship you’ve got an amazing son and your heart’s back out there. I’d say you’re pretty strong.’
And he was right. She had everything she wanted, even if wasn’t what her mother or sister might choose. She did, even if it was misguided at times, follow her heart.
‘I do want a little bit more,’ Jasmine said.
‘What?’ He moved in for a kiss.
‘White walls,’ Jasmine whispered. ‘I’m on my fourth coat.’
And he looked at walls that were still green tinged and he started to laugh. ‘Did you put on an undercoat?’
He saw her frown.
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