“Well,”
“Ah, you are. I see that smile.”
“What?” What smile? She's being silly. “Well, probably, yeah, but... I mean...”
“You really like her, don't you?”
“She's nice.”
“More than that, though, right?” she said. She smiled. “I hope you two find what you had with Teresa, Brynne.” She squeezed her fingers around my hand again, and it's still weak feeling. “I feel so bad for you, honey. You have spent so many years alone. You deserve to be happy, and I hope Marissa is the one for you. If she's not, I'll keep trying until I find the right girl for you.”
“Jess,”
“And once you find her, honey... well then maybe... maybe you can make her like us.”
“No,”
“And you two would have eternity together.”
“That can't happen, Jess. I'd never do that to someone, and you know that.”
“You say that now, but one day you may change your mind.”
“No.”
“No?” she said. Her eyes focused hard on mine. “So you don't think you would ever change anyone again? Ever?”
“Never.”
“So if I were to fall in love with a guy, we'd just be out of luck? I'd have to watch him get old and die, and wouldn't be able to be with him because...”
“I told you all this!” I shouted. “I told you. I told you that I have to watch everyone I ever care about get old and die, that I always have to leave. And you wanted this. You knew what you were getting into, and... and...” I sighed. “I'm sorry.”
I dropped her hand and rose from the bed. As I was heading toward the door she kept asking me to stay, but I couldn't. I needed time alone. I went outside and sat in the car so I could have some privacy.
I did this to her. I made her like this, and now she'll be alone. Forever. Never able to have a true love. At least not for long. I should never have done it. I should have waited to see if she would heal and be able to walk. I should have waited to make sure her tumor didn't come back. I mean even if she couldn't have walked, living the rest of her life in a wheel chair would have been very preferable to what I've condemned her to.
Tuesday, May 27
The past two days Celeste has taken me to work at the shelter, then gone home to stay with Jess while I worked. She said it was more important for me to be there than it was for her, so she'd stay with Jessica and make sure she was comfortable.
Jess was really weak yesterday, but today she seems better. Last night she insisted I go out with Marissa rather than stay home with her like I wanted, so I've barely had any time with her at all since she was attacked.
“We think the striga left town.” Celeste told me in the car. She just picked me up from the shelter.
“What makes you think that?”
“Paolo said they have surveillance footage of someone matching Roderick's description boarding a plane to Atlanta.”
“Teresa lives in Georgia.” I said. “I hope she's okay. I should go there and...”
“He got on another plane to Paris the next morning.” she told me.
“Oh. Well you can't be certain it is him, there's a lot of people that look kind of similar.”
“There have been three bodies found in Paris since then, Brynne.”
“But... it's only been a couple of days.” He killed two people already in two days!
“We have people there going after him. Don't worry.”
Oh I see, we get stuck moving to Kansas City to go after this guy, but when he goes somewhere really interesting then they let others take care of it. That's real fair.
“So Jess and I can go home.” I said, just realizing it.
“Well, no, not yet. There's the matter of the body found at Jessica's work place.”
“Oh. Well I mean... I mean the vampire that did that probably moved on by now, and Jess and I really need to get back home.”
“There have been five bodies in the past month that we think may be from these vampires.”
“Vampires? As in more than one?”
“We think so.”
“But... I mean can't you get someone else to do this? Jess has already been attacked, and we just want to go home. Please, just...”
“It's not my decision, Brynne.” she said. “I wish I could let you guys go home, but I just can't. I'm sorry.” She doesn't sound very sorry.
“So we're just stuck? Until whenever you people decide to let us go? That's nice.”
“You're not...”
“Whatever.”
So we have to stay here until they decide we've found enough killers. Yay. What if they don't exist? Are they going to make us stay then, convinced that we will eventually find the non-existent killers?
Jess was up and walking around in the living room when we got there. So very much better. She was even smiling. I hurried to her and hugged her.
“Wow, it's good to see you up.”
“Yeah, I'm almost back to normal.” she said, squeezing me. “Or what passes for normal for us, anyway.”
“It would probably be a good idea if you stayed in bed a couple more days to recuperate completely.” Celeste told her.
“No way, huh-uh.” Jess responded. “I want to find that son of a...”
“He's gone.” I told her. She looked angry at that. She really wanted to get back at this guy, I guess. “Paris.”
“Let's go.” she said. “Will they let Brynne travel without a parent?” she asked Celeste.
“We're not allowed to go.” I said, before Celeste could even speak. “Apparently we're still indentured here. To find vampires.”
“Can't we just come back after we slice off Roderick's...”
“We have people taking care of him as we speak, Jessica.” Celeste said. “It's important that we find the vampires who are killing people here, though, and you two are best suited for that.”
This sucks. I just want to go home and watch movies with the Sloans and wallow in my sorrows. Only I guess Marissa is here. So far she's the only one since Teresa who I've really wanted to date. Well, at least who would date me.
I went into the kitchen, phone in hand, trying to contact Marissa. I've been trying all day. I'm not sure what is going on with her. She said she'd call today.
“So if we find these vampires and kill them,” I heard Jess asking. “Can I go after Roderick at that point?”
“Jessica, it's not a good idea for you...”
“I trusted him.” Jess whined. “He was so... believable, and I just... and then... he was such a sweet guy, and he tried to kill me.”
“You can't take him down, Jessica. He's stronger than you are.”
“Is he?” I asked. I stepped back into the room with them. “Is he stronger, or just able to do that whole life-force sucking thingy?”
“It doesn't really matter, he can kill you.” Celeste told me.
“Not if he can't get his hands on us, right?” I asked. “I mean he has to have his hand on someone to do his thing, right?”
“I don't know.” She sighed. “I think that's right, but I wouldn't want to risk your lives on that. It's all academic at this point, he's in Paris and you're here. We have people there who will...”
“Do you have anyone like us there?” Jess asked.
“I don't think we have any more vampires... non-vampires working for us, no.” she said. “But we have highly capable agents. They will get him.”
“Let's hope so.” I said. “Or a lot of people could die.”
If they can't stop him, they may be forced to send us over there. I'm not a fan of killing, but I'll make an exception for that ba... guy. What he has been doing to children is horrible. And then he messed with Jess. Nobody messes with my friends and gets away with it.
“So how many striga are there?” Jess asked Celeste.
“We don't really know much about them.” she said. “There could be only a few. One thing we do know i
s that they aren't usually active. It's thought that they'll spend decades in hiding, basically hibernating, before coming out to replenish their strength. Then they'll go back to hibernating for a few decades.”
“Good.” I said. “How long are they awake for? Maybe he'll just go back to sleep.”
“We can't be certain, but we think they are active for several years each time.”
“Years?” I said. “Well there goes that plan.”
“You girls shouldn't worry about Roderick. Just help us find the vampires here.”
“And how do you expect us to do that?” Jess asked her.
“You will have to figure that out. How did you find them before, Brynne?”
“I just, um,” I shrugged. “Kind of wandered around areas I would hunt, if I were going to do that, and eventually they found me.”
“You may have to do something like that again. Use your brains, use your senses, and we can do some detective work based on where the bodies were found to try to pinpoint where they may be, also.”
“Uh, the last time I did this... I mean... I want Jess to go home, then.”
“What!?” Jess shouted. “No way, uh-uh.”
“Jess you almost died last time you encountered a vampire. I don't want that to happen again.”
“Yeah, well, I didn't die, and I'm much stronger now, since I'm also a vampire.”
“No, you're...”
“Okay, not a vampire, whatever.” she said. “Point is, I can handle myself now.”
“Jess,”
“Besides, you were practically chopped in half, twice, and I am not letting you handle this alone.”
“We really need you both here.” Celeste told us.
“It's settled then.” Jess said, that smug look she sometimes gets now on her face. “Do you think guys just don't like foreheads?”
“What?” Celeste asked. She hasn't learned yet that with Jessica you kind of just have to go with these moments.
“I'm sure some guys do.” I told her.
“Did I miss something?” Celeste asked her.
“Okay, so I was reading this article and it said guys like bangs on girls.”
“What does that have to do with...”
“So there must be reason. Do they just not like the look of a girl's forehead?”
“I fail to see how this is relevant to our discussion.” Celeste told her. She seems angry.
Jess shook her head and turned and left the room. I followed. Come on, it doesn't do any good to take things too seriously. You have to just let Jess be Jess, which means a certain amount of randomness.
That evening we called up the Sloans and talked to Peggy and Ted for a while. They are doing good, but are worried about us. They are really kind of like parents to me. Adopted parents, of sorts. They will never replace my real parents, but my real parents have been dead for a century and a half almost, and I sometimes have a hard time remember a lot about them.
Right before bed I tried to call Marissa again. Still no answer. I'm not sure what is going on. I hope she's alright. Maybe I've been dumped. Maybe me being a non-vampire is just too much for her. Probably for the best that she dump me now, if that's the case. I can't take another heartbreak like with Teresa.
I wonder if Teresa ever thinks of me. I mean I know she's dating someone else and probably quite happy, but I know what we had was real. She can't be over it so easily, can she?
“Am I that easy to get over?” I wondered aloud.
“No, honey, she just couldn't be with you.” Jess answered.
I guess she knew what I was thinking when she heard me ask. One thing about having such a close friend is that we can usually pick up on each others' thoughts pretty quickly. That has upsides and downsides to it.
“Maybe if I just put a message on her blog...”
“Brynne, you have to let her go. She can't handle it.”
“I know, but...”
“Don't you want her to be able to go on and be happy? Even if it's not with you?”
“No.” It's the truth.
“Brynne,”
“I want her to be happy. I just want her to come back to me.” I sniffled and wiped at my cheeks. “But yeah,” I sighed. “If I can't be the one to make her happy, I want her to find someone who can.”
“I know.”
“It still sucks.”
“But hey, you're moving on too. You have Marissa now.”
“Who won't answer her phone and hasn't called.”
“I'm sure she just had something come up.”
“I hope she's okay.”
I laid there in bed, thinking about Teresa and Marissa, wondering why things have gone the way they have. Maybe I really don't deserve to be happy. Maybe romantic happiness will always evade me because I am unworthy, because I haven't completely atoned for the evils I've done. It took me forever to come out, and now nothing is going right. The first girlfriend dumps me because I'm an almost vampire, a non-vampire in Celeste's terms. Now the second one seems to really not be all that into me. The only other lesbian I've ever been interested in at all is Celeste, and she doesn't seem to even like me most of the time.
Speaking of Celeste, I can hear her talking to her father on the phone in the other room. She is trying to get him to come back, but she also keeps telling him she won't send us away, that the mission is too important. At least he answered her call. She's been trying to contact him for days.
Wednesday, May 28
I woke to the smell of warm toast smothered in butter. Oh, it smelled so very good. I made my way into the kitchen, where I found Jessica and Celeste munching away on their breakfast.
“Good, I was about to wake you up.” Celeste said.
“Morning.” I mumbled. “I don't suppose...”
“There's the bread, knock yourself out.” she said, pointing.
“Um, thanks.” I sighed. “I actually may be needing some blood soon.”
“Oh.” She looked down at her toast and frowned. She swallowed the remaining bit in her mouth, then laid the toast on the plate. “Well, I think I'm done eating now.” she said. “More blood? It hasn't been that long, has it?”
“No, but...”
“We need to be at full strength,” Jess told her. “In case we find the vamps.”
“Oh. I'll see what I can do.” Celeste told her.
“Thanks.” I said. I put slices of bread in the toaster. “It's actually been a few weeks.” I mumbled.
“So long?” Celeste asked. “But the other night we had some delivered.”
“They only sent enough for Jess.”
“Inconsiderate idiots.” Jess mumbled.
“I'll get you some soon, Brynne. I promise.”
“Thanks.”
We spent a while coming up with a plan to search for the vampires here. Night always works best. We can't handle the sun, anyway, and we know they can't, so that's what we'll do.
“And don't worry about work.” Celeste told Jessica. “You concentrate on this full time now.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Jess said.
“And the same goes for you.” Celeste said to me.
“Okay.” I nodded. “I might actually miss Willa.”
“But not Ingrid?” she asked, smiling.
“Uh... no.”
Friday, May 30
I was getting bored with the idea of wandering around Kansas City at night, hoping to stumble upon the vampires that were killing people. It has only been a couple of nights, but it gets so boring.
“I know this worked with Julius and Joanna, but they weren't exactly top of the class, ya know.” I said to Jess. We were walking through yet another rough neighborhood.
“We just need to keep at it.”
“I guess.” I said.
She's so intent on finding the others and stopping them. I want to too, but I don't know how I feel about Jess being in harm's way while we do that. I'd feel so much
better if she would just stay home. But she insists on coming out, and I can't forcibly stop her, so I'm doing my best to protect her by staying by her side, even though she swears we'd find them quicker if we split up.
“Did Miranda say anything the last time you spoke to her?” I asked.
“Brynne, I don't know what to tell you, honey. Marissa is obviously just being a jerk at this point.”
“I just wish she'd answer my calls.”
“I'm sorry I even introduced you to her.”
Nothing. Not a single call, and she won't answer mine. Not a text, even. Not any indication that she's still alive. Maybe she's not, maybe the vampires got to her too. I doubt it.
“Maybe I'm just not that interesting.”
“Yeah, you're so boring!” she said, rolling her eyes. “The girl has problems, honey, that's all this is.”
“Maybe she's just sick and in the hospital.”
“Maybe.”
Is it wrong that I hope she has taken ill and can't answer her phone because of that? Or she was arrested for something, and she is sitting in a jail cell somewhere? Though I can't think of anything they could arrest her for. She doesn't exactly come across as a hardened criminal.
We turned and headed back the way we came, so we could get home. The sun was starting to come up in the east, so prime hunting time was over.
Betrayal: Book 2 of the Non-Vampire Series Page 8
