by L A Cotton
"What is it?"
"Nah, man. Forget it."
"Dude, just spit it out. I can take it."
"I'm happy for you, I am, but have you considered how this all ends? Have you forgotten what Braiden did to you at the end of last year?"
And what he did to Ana.
"Way I see it, it's only going to end one way. Badly."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." I raked a hand through my hair, not wanting to admit what I already knew...Dennis was right.
"Shit is already strained. You two hardly talk and Ky is so far up Braid's ass that it's hard to see where one ends and the other begins. I'm just saying, things are coming, shit’s fucked up, and you're slowly jumping ship."
While everything he said was true, it was nothing I hadn't already considered. Shit was fucked up, and yet again, I'd placed Ana in the line of fire. But she was still in it with me. At least with me by her side, I could protect her. I just needed to find a way to make Braiden understand. To make them all understand.
"Just go. You've gone all googly eyed again. So much for my pep talk," Dennis muttered, shaking his head at me.
I laughed before holding my fist out to his. "It was just what I needed, Coach."
Dennis' laughter followed me all the way out of the house.
~
"Oh, no you don't." I dragged Ana back to me, wrapping a leg around hers, pinning her to the bed.
"Jackson, I need to pee. I have to go-"
My lips brushed against the sensitive part of her ear and her whole body trembled.
I loved that. Loved how her body responded to me.
"Jacks- ahhh, stop. Stop."
"What did you just say?" My head craned around her to look into her soulful eyes.
"Jackson? Or the moaning part?"
"No, you called me Jax."
I slipped a hand under the shirt covering her delicate frame. My shirt. She looked so fucking good in my clothes.
She shook her head, trying to wriggle free from my grip. "No, I called you Jackson, well, almost. Your tickling put me off.”
"Say it again."
Ana frowned and I leaned forward pressing my head to hers. "Say it."
"Jax." It came out breathy, and I rolled my head back. "God, I love how that sounds coming from your mouth. Say it again."
"Hmm," she laughed nervously. "You're totally freaking me out right now."
I inched my lips to hers, pausing just before they touched. Her breath lingered against my skin and I soaked her in. "Please. Just say it."
Blowing out an exasperated sigh, she said, "Jax."
My heart dived. Or soared. I couldn't think clearly enough to work out which. Only two people ever called me Jax. Dad and Otis. Family. But it sounded right coming from her lips. Ana was my family now. As much as Dad ever was, or Otis and Velma. As much as Uncle Marcus and Braiden.
She was it.
And in that moment, I hated myself for ever dragging her into my fucked-up life. She deserved better, but selfish or not, I did not intend to let her go again.
"Jackson, what's going on?"
"I like hearing you call me that. It's nice."
"People call you Jax all the time." Ana dropped her eyes and I could tell something was bothering her.
"No, they don't. There's Otis. And occasionally Marcus, but that's it. No one else since Dad." I lifted her finger and tilted her head back to me, my eyes trying to make her understand. "Only family."
She tried to tilt her head away from me again, but I held her firm. "Ana, what is going on?"
"It's silly- nothing, not really." Her voice sounded so small and I sat a little straighter.
"Tell me."
"She called you Jax. When she was threatening me, she- she called you Jax."
My whole body stiffened. Briony had threatened Ana? A million thoughts stormed through my mind and I tried to calm the rage building. Of course, that crazy bitch had threatened her.
“Jackson?”
I couldn’t look at Ana, unable to get a hold of the anger pulsing through me. Briony was there, at the cabin. I thought that was the first time, but I should have known. Should have guessed there was more. When Briony wanted something, nothing would stop her from getting her own way.
Fuck.
“Jackson, Jax?”
Ana’s voice cloaked me like a calming blanket, cutting through my rage, and I blinked, realizing I was staring at her. "You know how much I love you, right? Only you!"
She twisted onto her knees, pulled away from me and nodded. The loss of her warmth was immediate.
"Things could get a lot worse. When Braiden finds out, he will lose his shit. That's if he hasn't already figured it out. I'm prepared for whatever he throws my way. I've made my choice. But you can still walk away. I'll understand." The words lodged in my throat and I choked them down. Losing Ana would tear me apart, but she had to know. It was only fair, after everything, that she knew what was coming.
Ana regarded me, her wide brown eyes drinking me in. I wanted to know her every thought. I wanted her to say something. Anything.
But she didn't.
Shimmying between my legs, Ana leaned in close and brought her lips down to mine. I held my breath, waiting. It was unlike her to take control, to make the first move. But something about the determination in her eyes had me rooted to the spot.
The kiss was gentle at first and she swept her tongue into my mouth moving her soft lips against mine. My body instantly responded and my dick strained against my boxers. I wanted her so fucking much. But this was as much about her as it was me. This had to be on her terms. I had laid all my chips out and now she had to choose. Once and for all.
Ana's hands ran up and down my chest sending waves of pleasure zipping through me. Just her touch drove me wild. But it did something else—it comforted me. When Ana touched me, it was like everything else disappeared. All the shit with Braiden and Calder just melted away until there was only her and me.
Eventually, her fingers paused at the bottom of my jersey, hooking underneath the fabric, brushing my stomach, and I gulped back the urge to pounce on her. I wanted her so fucking much, but I could see how much this meant to her. So I sucked it up and locked eyes with her.
"I love you," she whispered before yanking up my jersey. I leaned forward allowing her to pull it over my head.
Without realizing it, I reached out to remove the huge shirt covering her, but she tapped my hand away. Crossing her arms, I watched as she slowly peeled it over her head, dropping it to the side of her. My heart was pounding in my chest, so hard it hurt. She was so beautiful; smooth milky skin and delicate curves. I didn't even notice the scars; I was too entranced by her. My beautiful, broken girl. All I wanted to do was piece her back together.
Her fingers skated up her stomach and brushed over her perfect tits, and she fluttered her eyes shut, almost gasping. "I need you, Jax."
It was all the permission I needed. I grabbed her hips and swiftly lifted her over me. My fingers slipped inside of her black panties and dipped inside of her with ease. Ana's head fell back in pleasure and I knew I couldn't wait one more second. Withdrawing my fingers, I freed my dick and pushed the black material of her panties to the side.
"Are you ready?" My voice was thick with need.
She nodded, her eyes hooded with desire and lust, and her whole body shuddered against me as I lowered her onto me.
"Fuck," I hissed, loving the feel of her wrapped around me. "I love you, Savanah Parry, so fucking much."
I pulled her legs around my waist, clamping her to me, and started to lift her up and down, my fingers digging into her ass, taking us higher and higher.
"Ah, oh God, Jackson, more,” she cried, burying her head into my shoulder, but I moved a hand to her neck drawing her face level with mine, all the time moving in and out of her.
"Look at me, Ana. I need you to look at me."
Her eyes connected with me and I saw it. Her love for me. Her choice.
There was no going back now.
And as we crashed over the edge together and I pulled her to me, in the back of my euphoric mind only one thought remained.
How the fuck I am going to protect her from whatever is coming?
~
A puff of icy air swirled around my face every time I exhaled. It was freezing, and Braiden had demanded we meet in the cabin.
"So?" Dennis said from beside me.
"So, what?"
"How did it go?" There was a hint of laughter in his voice, and I gave him the finger. "If you think I'm telling you any details to store in your wank bank, you got no chance."
He exploded with laughter, shaking his head. "Like I need images when I can get the real thing. Besides, she's not my type."
The fuck she's not.
"Glad to hear it."
The cabin was just up in the distance and my pace slowed. Dennis lingered back with me.
"I laid it all out for her. She knows what's coming. But we've made our choice."
"Fuck, man." Dennis scrubbed a hand over his buzz cut. "Shit's getting real. Well, I got your back."
"Thanks."
The words lingered between us. We both knew they meant nothing, not really. Because if Braiden couldn't accept my relationship with Ana, things were about to get ugly. And nothing that Dennis, or anyone else, could do or say would matter.
"Get in here. You're late." Braiden's voice boomed from the cabin porch, and Dennis gave me a solemn look, mumbling to himself.
We reached the cabin a minute later. Braiden had gone inside, and when we entered, he didn't even acknowledge us.
Dennis moved to his usual spot on the wall, but I walked right over to the table, dragged a chair out, and dropped into it. Braiden paused whatever he'd been saying only seconds earlier and glared at me. I was pushing him. I knew it. He knew it. But something in me refused to fall in line anymore. I had spent years living in his shadow, being beholden to him.
"How's business?" Braiden switched his focus from me to Kyler.
"Hmm, okay, considering." Kyler cleared his throat, trying to sound all official, although his nerves were plastered all over his face. "Students are still shook up from the game, though. Parties have been cancelled which affects business. But the regulars are still paying up."
"Good. Keep that shit away from the team though, got it? Coach is still on my back."
Kyler nodded and tossed Braiden two big wads of cash. "Payday."
"Anything from your uncle?" Braiden asked Shaun, and his Southern drawl filled the room. "A shipment of the latest iPods. Students will eat that shit up."
"Arrange it. You going home for the holidays?"
Shaun laughed. "Sure thing. Got me some cowgirls to break in."
"You two?" Braiden flicked his head toward Dennis and Travis, who both nodded. They usually went home whenever campus closed down for holidays, but there was always a bed for them at the Donohue house.
It didn't go unnoticed that he never asked Kyler his plans, but no one questioned it so I kept quiet.
“Okay, get out of here. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t, yeah. Pierce, stick around.”
Dennis glanced at me and questioned me. I shook my head—whatever was coming was between Braiden and me.
“Want me to stick around?” Kyler chimed, a shit-eating grin on his face acting like my fate was already decided.
“Nah, get out of here. Family business. I’ll call you later.”
The smug grin dropped from his face and he gave Braiden a small nod of the head before skulking after the rest of the guys and avoiding looking in my direction.
Braiden waited for the door to close behind them, and then he rose from the chair, the wooden spindles scratching across the floor. The air shifted with him, thick with tension. I thought when this moment came, when I had to make my choice, I would feel guilty. Remorse for dishonoring my loyalty to the Donohues. To the family I’d known for most of my life. But I didn’t. In fact, a part of me wished I had done it sooner.
Sure, my heart was pounding and my palms were clammy as I clenched and unclenched my fists on my jeans. But every time a seed of guilt planted itself in my chest, I pictured Ana’s face and the seed was swallowed up. Ana. It would always be Ana.
“You’ve been busy a lot lately.”
I didn’t turn to meet Braiden’s glare, even though I could feel his icy stare burning into my back. I didn’t need to turn around. He knew. I’d figured as much. It wasn’t like I had been extra careful the last couple of weeks. I think that was just another sign that I didn’t care if he knew anymore.
“Do you have anything to say?” His voice sounded robotic. Calculated—and I knew he was no longer the boy I grew up with. He was the man he had become. Cold and deadly.
Rapping my knuckles on the table, I said, “What is there to say?”
The air swooshed past my ear as the chair crashed into the far wall, shattering into pieces. “I TOLD YOU TO END IT. YOU’RE CHOOSING HER OVER US. OVER FAMILY.”
It came out a statement, not a question. He knew my choice was made. A part of him had probably known since we stood out on the cabin porch some months ago and he told me to end it.
Calmly, I rose from my chair and turned to face him. Adrenaline coursed through me, ramping up my pulse even more. And when our eyes connected, I saw it. The look in his ice-blue eyes. I was no longer his best friend, his brother…I was his enemy.
I waited for it.
And waited.
But nothing came.
Braiden didn’t hurl himself at me or throw a fist; he just stared right at me. Through me—like he didn’t even recognize me anymore.
“Fuck!” He jammed a hand into his hawk and started pacing, grunting to himself.
And I stood rooted to the spot, still waiting.
Part of me had expected him to blow up—to explode with fury. But this was the response I had banked on—him being too distracted with Calder to lose it. Braiden was reckless and impulsive and stormed into everything like a fuse waiting to blow. But he also became obsessed with things, especially the need for revenge. And right now, his focus was on Calder.
“What now?” My voice was unwavering.
Braiden paused and spun on his heel. The anger rolled off him, but he stayed put. The tick in his jaw pulsing rhythmically. “You’re out. Done.”
“Just like that?”
“What did you expect? You made your choice. And don’t think for one second that I’ll forget. Or that you’re getting a free pass. But you were right. Right now, I have bigger things to think about. Dad has bigger things to think about.”
I moved toward the door sensing the conversation was over…for now. But as my hand reached the handle, Braiden’s voice cut through the room. “Pierce, just ask yourself one thing. Is she really worth tearing our family apart? Tearing your family apart?”
Pausing, I opened my mouth to respond but snapped it shut and pushed open the door.
My choice was made.
And it couldn’t ever be undone.
Chapter 19
~ANA~
“Are you going to tell me why we are rushing like tomorrow might never come?” Linking my fingers through Jackson’s hand, I let my gaze settle on the leafy tunnel whizzing past.
“Just eager to get to Otis and V’s. Me, you, and that tiny bed.” He laughed quietly, but something was off. I knew it the second he arrived at the dorm and demanded that I pack, giving me the excuse he wanted to head to the Blacks a few days early, totally playing down the fact that Christmas was only two days away. But before I could argue, he’d gathered up my things and had me packed into the car and we were on the road.
Yeah, something was definitely up.
Ten minutes later, I couldn’t stop the pit in my stomach. Usually, he spent holidays with them. He said Marcus was out of town, but still, spending the whole week at Otis and Velma’s seemed unusual.
“Jackson, do Otis and V know we’re arriving early?” I rem
oved my fingers from his hand and started lazily twisting the bracelet on my wrist, trying to seem aloof. When really the nausea settling low in my stomach had me troubled.
“Sure. I called Otis earlier.” Jackson’s voice sounded so normal. Too normal.
“Okay, I’m done playing. What the hell is going on?” Shifting in my seat, I narrowed my eyes at the side of Jackson’s head, willing him to talk to me.
As if he could feel me watching, his features hardened and he blew out a long sigh. “He knows.”
The pit in my stomach expanded into a vast cavern and I clasped a hand over my blouse, trying to hold myself together.
"He knows," I repeated quietly.
This was what I wanted. It had been all I wanted for the last year. But now that it was real, panic spread through me like a raging fire.
Jackson shuffled in his seat next to me, swerving off the main road. The car screeched to a halt, causing my whole body to shoot forward and then land back in the seat with a thud.
Before I could process what was happening, Jackson had exited the car and came around to the passenger door. He all but yanked me out, dropping me to my feet and caging me between him and the rear door.
I could see the pain in his face, the look of sadness in his eyes, and I reached out for his jaw, gliding my fingers across the hint of a five 'o' clock shadow.
He gulped. "I'm out."
Out?
"Wha-what does that mean?"
"Of the inner circle. Probably the family. I'm out. Uncle Marcus doesn't know yet, but I can't imagine he'll be thrilled. And Braiden..." He paused, looking deep into my eyes. "Braiden will never forgive me. Which means I'm out."
I should have been ecstatic. Relieved. It should have been happiness consuming me. But, instead, all I could think was that Jackson had walked away from the only family he'd known for most of his life.
For me.
My heart beat rapidly in my chest as realization dawned on me. He had finally chosen.
And he had chosen me.
"Say something."
"I- I-" The words were there on the tip of my tongue, but even if they managed to find their way out, I had no idea what they were going to be.
