by L A Cotton
Given him reason? I couldn’t imagine being anyone’s reason after emotionally shutting down after the accident. But Jackson was mine. He had breathed life back into me. He was my sole reason for wanting to heal. For wanting to ride out whatever the hell was coming our way. I wanted my shot with him.
A future.
“Honey, you okay?” Velma’s eyes wrinkled around the edges as she watched me.
“Huh, what? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just sad it’s time to leave. Thank you so much for having us. It’s been lovely.”
“Door’s always open.” She gave me one last hug before joining Otis and Jackson.
Leaning against the car, I watched Jackson say his goodbyes to Otis and Velma. He was already shutting down; I could see the tension returning to his broad shoulders and the hardness in his eyes. I’d felt it the minute I awoke to him sitting in the chair in our room staring out of the window.
“I’ll call when we get back.” Jackson slammed the trunk and climbed into the driver’s side.
Mouthing one more goodbye, I climbed in and buckled my belt.
“Ready?” I smiled, trying to hold onto a shred of happiness from our ten days with the Blacks, but Jackson didn’t reply. Instead, he narrowed his eyes on the road and nodded.
With a quiet sigh, I turned my body slightly to the window and touched my head to the glass. It was going to be a long journey back.
Seconds passed and then minutes, and still Jackson said nothing. As we left the scenic road and moved further into the dense forest, the air in the car was sucked out, replaced by suffocating tension that made it almost hard to breathe. And with every mile that ticked by, Jackson’s hands gripped the wheel tighter. More and more color draining from his knuckles replaced with white.
“Jack-”
“Don’t.” His voice sliced through the tension like a knife, but the pit already forming in my stomach only grew wider.
“But maybe we should talk ab-”
Jackson slammed his fist against the leather with such ferocity that I jumped in my seat.
Words teetered on the edge of my lips, but I swallowed them down, sensing they would have failed to penetrate his hostile exterior.
Time ticked by painfully slow, and I noticed that the closer we drew to Chastity Falls, the slower the car traveled. It was as if Jackson didn’t want to return and face reality. I understood that—I had no desire to leave the security of Otis and Velma’s either—but what choice did we have? And besides, part of me was done hiding.
The familiar sight of Lowe Stadium came into view, rising atop the fir canopy. Although a small stadium, it was a sight to behold against the dense green background. But nothing about seeing it this time sparked the usual buzz of anticipation. Instead, a ball of nerves uncurled in my stomach making me feel queasy. And then the perimeter fence of campus appeared and the nerves spread out into my limbs making me tingle—the kind of feeling you get when you know something bad was going to happen.
The car slowed to a halt just on the edge of campus grounds and Jackson cursed under his breath. “We need more time.”
A bitter laugh tumbled out of my mouth. “More time? How much more time? A week? A month? We knew this was going to happen. You knew. It’s time to face the music, Jackson. I’m done hiding.”
I wanted to believe my words, but the conversation with Otis was imprinted on my mind. Michael Pierce had ended up dead because he wanted out. Jackson was out. But that was according to Braiden, not Marcus. Maybe Jackson could appeal to Marcus again? He’d given us his blessing once. And even though I knew it was a long shot, I clung to the hope that he wouldn’t want history to repeat itself. That he really did consider Jackson his own.
Shutting down the thoughts, I locked eyes with Jackson and urged him to say something, anything, to reassure me that we could survive this.
He dragged a hand through his hair. “Fuck. I’m sorry. This wasn’t the way I wanted this to happen. You’re right. We go in there and hold our heads high. Wait it out.” Leaning across the console, Jackson cupped my face in his hands. “We’ll get through this. I promise, Savanah Parry.”
My eyes fluttered shut in anticipation of his kiss. Jackson crushed me to him, his lips hungrily finding mine—kissing away his frustration and anger. I sank into him, letting him take what he needed from me as our tongues danced and dueled.
He pulled back, grazing my lips with his teeth and sending shivers shooting down my spine and low into my stomach.
“I needed that.” His eyes gazed at me as our chests heaved between us. “I need you. Always.”
We settled back into our seats and he started the engine, casting me a sideways glance. “I’m ready.”
~
“So today didn’t go too badly.” I dropped down onto the bed and the mattress dipped and sprang back, weighted from Jackson laying on one side.
“We haven’t left your room yet.” He chuckled, popping a chip into his mouth.
“True, but I think it’s been pretty awesome.”
I squealed as Jackson’s hands skated down my waist and rolled me into him. “Maybe we should stay locked in here a little longer?” His eyes glistened a deep green and he leaned in to kiss me.
“Whoa, my bad.” Elena barreled into the room, a string of Spanish expletives rushing out of her mouth. “Is it safe to look yet?” She peeked out from her fingers and I giggled, pulling Jackson’s jersey further down over my bare legs.
“Hey, Elena. Good Christmas?” Jackson righted himself and continued stuffing chips into his mouth.
“The best. Tyson surprised me with this.”
I thrust a hand over my eyes pretending to be blinded by the sparkling diamond pendant. “Wow, it’s beautiful.”
“Right? And did the boy do good?” Elena cocked her brow, ignoring Jackson’s frown.
I extended my hand, flashing the infinity band sitting perfectly on my finger.
“Dios mio, esta preciosa,” she swooned, clutching my finger to get a better look.
“I am right here, you know. And I have no idea what the fuck you just said."
Elena waved him off and proceeded to rummage through the huge bag she had returned with. “So, what’s new? You sounded a little off when we spoke on the phone last week.”
“Hmm, something’s happened.”
Her head whipped around. “What? Oh my God, what has that crazy bastard done now?”
“Elena,” I hissed.
Jackson rose from the bed and went to lean against the desk. “It’s fine. She should know the truth.”
I tucked my legs underneath my body, yanking the jersey down to cover my thighs. “Braiden knows.”
Elena sucked in a sharp breath, dropping onto her bed. “And?”
“And, right now, we’re not really sure. He’s so caught up in this feud with Reibeckitt that he let Jackson walk. But it’s not over.” My voice was calm. Eerily calm. So calm it surprised me.
Apparently, Elena noticed and narrowed her eyes at me, studying me. “You. Why are you so calm? Why aren’t you having a full Ana grade meltdown?”
Jackson coughed, clearing his throat, and I scrunched my face at Elena, trying to stop her. I didn’t want Jackson knowing the full extent of my emotional state at the beginning of the semester.
“So, what now?”
Jackson crossed his arms over his chest and his face hardened. “Now we wait.”
Chapter 22
~JACKSON~
“Dude, you bowl worse than my gran and she’s old. How can you be one of the most successful linebackers CFA has ever seen?” Tyson roared with laughter. Nate and Paul quickly followed.
Fuckers.
“Not cool, Manster. It’s these damn clown shoes. Look at me.” I kicked out my feet and frowned. “They’re like boats, and they're fucking ugly.”
Ana pressed herself further into my side and said, “I think they look kind of hot. On you anyway.”
“Is that right?” I wrapped my arm around her tighter and pu
lled her close. “I can always keep them?” My eyes questioned her.
“Please, you two, get a room,” Paul grunted before picking up his ball and padding to the line.
“Go on, honey. You can do it.” His chick grinned from ear to ear totally oblivious to the rest of us.
I ducked my head to Ana’s ear. “She’s all about the team spirit, huh?”
Ana batted me away, shooting me a ‘behave’ look, and rejoined Elena and Lydia on the bench.
If only the guys could see me now, they’d shit a brick. I let Ana talk me into a group date after two weeks of barely leaving her dorm room. Not that I was complaining. We couldn’t get enough of each other, but she was right. We had to start living at some point. And she insisted that bowling with Elena and the group was as good a time as any. Said it would be good practice for when we finally stepped out in public together.
I had already been back to the house. Most of the guys acted as if nothing had happened, but I noticed the flickers of surprise on some of their faces. Dennis texted me the lowdown on the day classes started back up. For all intents and purposes, I was still a member of The Fallen and still welcome in the house. But it was made very clear that I was no longer a member of the inner circle. Family business was the only explanation the team received as to why shit had gone down.
But that wasn’t the real kicker.
When I returned to collect some things to stash between Ana’s and the dorm room I’d been allocated, Braiden was there. He even acknowledged me. Sure, it was only the tip of his chin in my direction, but the gesture had the hollow in my stomach churning. A couple of the guys asked me what was up, but that was it. They just let me walk out of there with my bags, set in the direction of Ana’s.
“You’re up, Pierce,” Nate called, and I winced at the name reference.
I didn’t want to be Pierce to these guys. They were important to Ana, and I was Jackson to her.
“It’s Jackson, and ready for a lesson?” I joked, knowing full well I would struggle to knock down more than four pins.
Lining up my arm, I drew back the ball and snapped it forward sending it flying down the ramp. “Shit,” I cursed to myself as the ball swerved at the last second, skimming the corner pin and taking only two more with it.
Ana jumped up off the bench and came to meet me. “Ahh, better luck next time.”
“Watch it, Parry. The game’s not over yet.” I smiled down at her, wanting nothing more than to scoop her up in my arms and kiss the fuck out of her.
“Thank you for coming. I know it’s not your scene, but it means a lot to me.” Her pink soft lips pressed against mine, and she murmured, “Thank you,” into my mouth.
Pulling back, I gazed into her eyes. “My scene is wherever the hell you are. Got it? Me and you, always.”
I could see the doubt in her eyes. Ana was overthinking things—she always did. It was her biggest fault. Placing blame where it didn’t belong. Always expecting the worst. Life had handed her a shit hand, and then she had stumbled into my life and it had only complicated hers even more. But none of that mattered now. I was determined to give her the happy ending she deserved.
“I love you, Jackson Pierce.” Her eyes smiled and I felt it all the way down in my gut.
“Lovebirds, move it. We still have balls to bowl,” Tyson’s deep voice yelled, a chorus of laughter following.
Holding up my hands in surrender, I struggled to keep the shit-eating grin off my face. “My bad. It’s all yours,” I said, leading Ana back to the rest of the group.
“That was so sweet.”
“Don’t get all over-excited again, Mari.” Paul slung his arm over her shoulder and pulled her close.
“I do not,” she gasped, tapping his chest with her hand, gazing up at him like he hung the moon.
She had it bad, but then so did Paul. His feelings for Marielle were written all over his face, and I was just relieved that he finally diverted his attention away from Ana. But I owed the guy—he had been there for her...when I wasn’t.
The thought cracked my chest. I should have been there. Which was exactly why I would never leave her again. No matter what Braiden was going to rain down on us.
Needing a breather, I said, “I’m going to get refills. Anyone want one?”
I noted their drinks and headed to the counter to order. The server started loading up a tray when a voice said, “Pierce, that you?”
Groaning to myself, I turned to meet Jarrod’s amused face. His arm was draped around his girl, Talia. The same chick who was supposed to be friends with Elena and the girls, but she’d had it out for Ana since Kyler dumped her ass last year. The rift had only widened since the fall semester. She was just another scorned girl wishing she could tame a Fallen.
“Jarrod, didn’t expect to see you here.”
He cocked his brow at me. “I could say the same thing about you. Gone soft since walking?”
My lips drew into a tight line. I knew exactly what he referring to, but I wasn’t getting into it here. Especially not with Jarrod Stark. He might have stayed out of all the bullshit, but he was still Reibeckitt.
Filling the awkward silence, Jarrod held up his hands and said, “My bad. News travels fast, though. Listen, if it’s any consolation, it suits you. Being all normal and shit.”
I barked out a laugh. “You want to join us? The girls are here.” My direction turned to Talia and she faltered. “Hmm, I- I don’t know.”
“For fuck’s sake, T, get over yourself. You’ve been bitching for weeks that you miss them. Time to swallow your pride.” Jarrod smacked her on the ass, and she let out a squeal. Leaving them to sort out their own shit, I collected the tray and made my way back to the alleys.
“So your friend, Talia, is here with Jarrod,” I said to Elena and Lydia as I placed the tray down.
Ana grumbled something folding her arms over her chest.
“She misses you, apparently,” I whispered in her ear, my lips lingering for a second longer than they needed to.
“Yeah, right.”
“Hmm, hey guys. We wondered if we could join you?” Talia’s eyes darted all over the place as she waited for her fate to be decided. I felt kind of sorry for the girl.
Elena clicked her tongue behind her teeth glaring right at her, but after a few seconds, her face softened and she said, “Girl, get in here. We need to catch up.”
Talia’s face lit up and she squashed between Elena and Lydia. When she was situated, she looked straight over at us, smiling weakly at Ana. She bristled beside me, but I squeezed her tighter. It was a start.
Nate whooped from the lane drawing our attention. “Winner! Eat that, suckers.” He punched the air and came to sit with us.
“So that was fun, we should totally do it again. Round two, anyone?” Elena smiled directly at me like she was issuing me a challenge.
“Can I try it without the shoes this time?” I objected and the group exploded into fits of laughter. Relaxing on the plastic bench, Ana laid her head on my shoulder and I realized that maybe this was exactly my kind of scene after all.
~
With the cabin off-limits to me now, I arranged to meet Dennis at Blacks.
“Good to see you, man.” Dennis slid into the booth opposite me. “Shit just isn’t the same without your ugly face around.”
“Nice one, and here I was thinking you’d missed me.”
I caught Otis’ eye and flicked two fingers in the air.
“Coffee’s coming.”
“Coffee? What are we, forty?”
“I need it. My head is pounding.”
“Long night?” The glint in his eye was so far off the mark.
“Not what your dirty mind is thinking. We went into Tillamook, bowling with her friends, and ended up at some local bar.”
Dennis slammed his hand down and exploded with laughter. “Bowling? I would have paid to see that shit.”
“Here you go, boys. On the house.” Otis slammed down our coffees and a plat
e of V’s homemade cake.
“Cheers, Mr. Black.”
“Nice to see you round these parts, Dennis. Don’t you go being a stranger now,” Otis grumbled as he padded back to the counter.
“So?”
Dennis leaned back and his face scrunched. “It’s weird, man. Braiden hasn’t mentioned you. It’s like business as usual. Kyler is even further up his ass, but other than that, nothing seems off.”
“Which means something is definitely off.”
Dennis nodded. “Exactly what I was thinking...”
I took a chunk out of one of the slabs of cake, letting Dennis fill me in on things. Training had recommenced and Coach was riding them hard. And, although I wasn't off the team, I hadn't turned up for practice yet—and Coach was losing his shit about it.
"Dude, did you hear me? I asked if Marcus had been in touch yet?"
At the mention of my uncle's name, I grimaced. I hadn't been back to the house or spoken to him since before the holiday. Which was unusual. Even when he went away on business, he called to check in.
"I heard Braiden tell Ky he's still out of town. Braiden was bitching like a pussy about having dumb and dumber babysitting him and Briony."
That meant he’d been out of town for over five weeks. Something was definitely up.
“We’ve managed to avoid them, but we can’t hide away in Ana’s dorm forever. She’s already falling behind with classes.”
We agreed that missing class was a last resort, but we had already skipped the first few days of classes, and neither of us was in any hurry to deal with the fallout.
“Maybe it’s time to step out of the shadows, man? What’s the worst that could happen?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. That very question had been playing on my mind since Braiden called me out. “I guess we’re about to find out.”
~
I met Ana at the steps to McGinley. We both agreed it was time to go public. Ana had said she didn’t want to keep hiding, but I could see the fear in her eyes every time we talked about it—and I hated myself for putting it there, so we'd been avoiding it.
