by Candice Dow
My cell phone rang at around eight o’clock, alarming both my mother and me. I checked the ID because I had stopped answering unknown calls, although it didn’t stop people from leaving messages. It was Bethany, the manager at Unleashed. She was yelling. I couldn’t make out what she was saying. All I could imagine was that they were now after her to get close to me.
“Bethany, honey, I can’t hear you.”
“The buildings are gone. Nothing but ashes.”
“What?”
“Unleashed has been burned down. Someone set it on fire.”
I closed my eyes and let my knees buckle as I fell back on the bed. Finally, I wailed. I couldn’t believe my ears. It wasn’t fair. I had done nothing to deserve this. These people were afraid that I would snitch, so they were making my life a living hell. I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted out. I wanted to run away.
“I’m the backup contact for the security alarm so they called me.” She paused. “London, it’s going to be okay.”
“Bethany, will you be able to handle things there? I can’t come there.”
My mother rubbed my back. “London, you’re going to have to go away. You may have to tell some names.”
“I am.”
I called the detective shortly after and told him that I would hand over all my contacts, but I needed to be out of there as soon as possible. He told me that wouldn’t be a problem. I asked him to come to the hotel.
He was there within the hour with a tape recorder in hand. He started off speaking my name and case number into the recorder. Then he looked at me. “You ready?”
I nodded. I pulled out the list and began spewing off names. I could tell by the look on his face that he couldn’t believe half the names I was saying. I tried to incriminate Thorne by telling the detective he was my partner, but he told me that from the evidence they had I was the head of the ring. Thorne had Ramon give him just enough to make me look like the mastermind and him like the innocent bystander.
When I was done the detective stood up and touched my shoulder. “You’ve done a great job.”
“No I haven’t, but thanks anyway. What’s next?”
“We have to find a safe home for you. You can’t tell anyone where you are. You’ll have to change your name. We’ll get you new passports and IDs. We can take care of that today and have you out of here within forty-eight hours.”
“And those names won’t leak before you get me out of here.”
He agreed and told me not to worry. I looked at my mother when he was gone. “I’ll need you to stay here and try to sell my house or list it with a property manager.”
“Not a problem.”
“And you’re going to have to deal with the insurance company for the fire.”
“Don’t worry. I’m here for you. I should have been here a long time ago. I feel like somehow this is all my fault.”
“Mother, stop.”
She nodded, but I knew she blamed herself. She was a perfectionist and her world was black and white, no gray. You went to work every day, you worked hard to prove yourself, and you never, by any means, broke the law. I’d rebelled against that type of regimen and thus had landed in a big old mess.
37
My hair had been cut very short and dyed auburn. The stress of the situation put about twenty pounds on me. The FBI relocated me to New Mexico. I felt rather uncomfortable, like I didn’t belong, but the people seemed to be in their own zone. They knew nothing about the Dog Trainer Madam, the name the media had given me. I was just some black girl who’d moved here from the East Coast and anyway I looked completely different. The FBI had given me a transcript and a degree in biology from UCLA. So, of all things, I was teaching high school biology. It lacked all the glitz and glamour of being a call girl, but it was rewarding. Every day I went to work I thought about how stupid and stubborn I’d been. I should have taught school when I first graduated.
I had nothing to show for my many years in the business. All I had was a bunch of drama, no friends, and burnt bridges, but I looked at this as an opportunity to start again. Yet there was another side of me that felt like if I started over and built new relationships that would be more betrayal, because I would have to be evasive with everyone. I didn’t want to be exposed, so I stayed to myself. I was known as Denise Thomas. I was lonely and lost. My entire past wiped away with a few clicks of a mouse.
After a year I felt the press had died down enough for me to contact my mother. I longed to hear her voice. I blocked the number and wasn’t sure she’d answer. She did and it was almost as if she knew it would be me. “Hello,” she said anxiously.
“Mom.”
“London. I’m so happy to hear from you.”
“It’s good to hear your voice too.”
“I know you can’t tell me where you are, but how’s everything?”
“You’ll never believe this. I’m teaching.”
“That’s great, London. Do you like it?”
“Actually, I do.”
“You know this is your second chance.”
“I hope so,” I said, as tears filled my eyes. “I’m so lonely. I’m so afraid to meet anyone or let anyone in.”
“London, this isn’t forever.”
“I know, but they’re telling me that I should at least stay here for another year.”
“I know, London. I just hate what has happened to you.” She paused. “But there is some good news. Your house finally sold, so you have some money in the bank. You have some insurance money from Unleashed too. So you can rebuild somewhere else.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“This time I’ll help you.”
“I’d like that.”
“And someone named Clyde calls frequently to see how you’re doing.”
“How’d he get your information?”
“He told me that you gave it to him when you came here from Australia. He’s been calling about once a month to check on you.”
I slightly recalled giving Clyde my mother’s information, but I couldn’t believe he’d held on to it for so long. I hadn’t put my favorites in the list of names. And Clyde was probably thankful that I’d had enough decency not to out him.
“So what does he say?”
“He’s very polite. He calls and asks how I’m doing and if there is anything that I need. Then he goes on to say that he’s just checking in on you. I actually look forward to Clyde’s calls.”
“Aww. Clyde,” I said, thinking about all the good times we’d shared.
“Where’d you meet him?”
“You really don’t want to know.”
She cleared her throat as if she definitely didn’t care to know all the details if I’d met him in the business. “Well, it seems like he really cares about you. He wants to see you if he can. I’ve gotten several calls of that nature, but Clyde is probably the only person I trust.”
“Do you think I should call him?”
“I do, but do you think he’s trustworthy?”
“I think so, but I definitely don’t want to have that death-threat frenzy like before.”
“Maybe you can call him just to talk. You don’t have to tell him where you are.”
When she said that, it dawned on me that I hadn’t even told her where I was. I said, “I guess you’re right. There’s no harm in that.”
She gave me his number and shortly after I got off the phone I called Clyde. He answered and I said, “Hi, Clyde.”
“London.”
He said my name with such compassion.
“Yes.”
“I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“I am.”
“I needed to tell you that I’d never enjoyed myself with anyone the way I did with you. And I didn’t realize how much of an influence you had on my life until I had to sit back and watch you go through everything by yourself. I was supposed to save you from that.”
“Clyde. It was nobody’s fault but mine. I was in a dangerous business and I just didn’t
realize it because of the type of clients we had. Prostitution is dangerous on every level, but I guess I just didn’t know.”
“Remember the last time we were together?”
“Of course I do. We were in Australia.”
“You were trying to tell me something. Or better yet, you wanted me to tell you something. At the time, I just couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that I had feelings for you.”
“Clyde. Don’t do this. Don’t say these things just to flatter me.”
“London, I’m not trying to flatter you. I’m telling you what I realized just as you were being taken down. I didn’t even care if you gave them my name. All I knew was when I heard your kennel had been burned and that you’d been arrested, I could have done something to save you from all of that.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“You were trying to tell me you wanted out, but I shot you down. It was my way of looking at you as a prostitute and not a real woman.”
“Clyde, if I wanted to get out, I didn’t need you to tell me it was a good idea, I would have done it on my own.”
“If I had told you in Australia that I wanted something more from you, would you have continued doing it?”
“I don’t know. I can’t say.”
“I should have been honest with you then.”
“And what would you have said?”
“I would have told you that I wanted more from you.”
“So what am I supposed to do with that information now?”
“I haven’t met anyone yet that likes to do all the weird shit that I enjoy except you.”
“And what are you saying?”
“Tell me where you are so I can come get you.”
“Clyde, it’s not that easy.”
“It is that easy. I’ll come get you.”
“Listen, there may still be people after me and if I leave this place, that means the FBI is no longer responsible for my protection. I’m scared.”
“Don’t be scared, London. I’ll protect you. My house is big enough that you’ll never have to leave if you don’t want to.”
“Who’s going to travel with you then?”
“When we leave the country is the only time you’ll have to leave,” he said, laughing. “Otherwise, my home is your castle.”
I thought for a few seconds longer. What kind of life was this anyway? It wasn’t long before my loneliness overpowered my logic. I had to trust someone. “I’m in New Mexico.”
I gave Clyde all the details to rescue me and he flew in the next day. He rented a car and came to get me. He packed up my modest things in less than an hour and we drove to LA. I wasn’t sure this was the right decision, but I knew I needed companionship and I didn’t want to live a lie anymore. Clyde knew all my dirt and still cared about me. There were no secrets and I appreciated that.
READING GROUP GUIDE
1) Do you think the average unemployed college graduate would have taken Thorne up on his offer?
2) What where the pros and cons of London’s job?
3) What did Thorne see in London that made her a prime candidate?
4) What is your opinion about Thorne’s advice that if a woman is not in a committed relationship, she shouldn’t offer her services for free?
5) Did London trust Thorne too much?
6) When would have been an optimal time for London to get out of the game?
7) Was London a wise businesswoman? What were her strengths and weaknesses?
8) Did London’s relationship with her mother affect her choices in life?
9) Were there similarities between London and her mother?
10) What statement did London’s calling her mother in her time of trouble make?
11) Is it likely that London could ever have a successful relationship after spending so many years in the profession?
12) Do you think she really cared for Clyde? Did he care for her?
Ayana Blue is the radio
DJ with all the answers on
affairs of the heart. Until
one caller wants answers
on Ayana’s affairs…
Please turn this page for
a preview of Candice Dow’s next book.
Available in 2012
1
I pulled up to a development in Buckhead, not far from Lenox Square mall. My producer Quentin had referred me to his Realtor friend. I’d done some online home browsing but this was the first place I was physically seeing. A silver Audi A6 pulled up a few parking spaces away at exactly two-thirty. I assumed it was my Realtor. After he got out of the car, I stepped out and headed in his direction.
He shook my hand. “Hi, Ms. Blue. Pleasure to meet you.”
“Garrett, the pleasure is all mine. Call me Ayana, please.”
“Okay, Ayana. The spot is in the building here.”
Quentin hadn’t given me any details about his friend aside from his being the best Realtor in Atlanta. As I stood there feeling strongly attracted to this man, I wanted to know everything. Was he married? Did he have kids? Was he heterosexual?
Garrett was wearing jeans and a black T-shirt with black-and-white Puma sneakers. He carried a leather backpack. I estimated that he was about five foot eleven; he wasn’t short, but I had the feeling that he wasn’t quite six feet. He walked ahead of me as we climbed the stairs to a second-floor garden condo. I was already not feeling the place, but I was definitely feeling the swagger of the guy in front of me. I watched his strong mocha arms as he rolled the code on the lockbox. Finally the door to the condo opened and we entered.
He said, “First order of business, I’ll need you to sign these forms.”
He handed the forms to me as we stood next to the countertop in the empty unit. He hovered over me as he told me where to sign and why I was signing. His face was clean-shaven with a nice dark mustache. His hair was cut low. He looked and smelled crisp: a lightly scented cologne mixed with Irish Spring soap. I inhaled him; his vibe was smooth and jovial, almost familiar.
“A’ight. Cool. Now that the business is taken care of, we can get to the fun part. We’re going to visit every condominium complex in Buckhead. Cool?”
I said, “I’m really not the type that needs to see everything. I want to see the three best condos in my price range, preferably two-bedrooms with a den, and I can make a decision.”
He stopped in the middle of the living room and laughed. “So Ayana Blue is not picky.”
“Is there something about me that makes you think that I’m picky?”
He shrugged. “I shouldn’t say this, but most women are picky. Usually dudes come to me, they see one or two places and they are ready to put a contract down. Women, on the other hand, I can spend two, three, sometimes even six months showing them everything on the multiple listing and they just have something in their mind that they’re looking for and they don’t stop until they get it. Nature of the business, though.”
“So are you as patient and friendly with these women after month three?”
He laughed. “Of course. I earn a living from referrals. I’m as eager to show the first place as I am to show the sixtieth place. If I’m showing, I’m still in the game, and that’s all that matters to me. Can I put food on the table and clothes on my son’s back?”
Why did my heart sink? Just because there was a son didn’t mean there was a wife. He didn’t have on a ring, but that didn’t mean anything either.
“How old is your son?”
“He’s seven.”
I had been so wrapped up in work that my flirtation was rusty. I entered the master bedroom and looked at the bathroom before I decided to pry further.
“What’s your son’s name?”
“Amari.”
“He lives with you?”
He took a deep breath. “We have joint custody.”
“So what’s that like? Do you do week by week or do you have certain days and she has certain days?”
“Week by w
eek.”
We had toured the condominium and were scheduled to see another. I wasn’t sure I should ask any more questions, for fear of pressing too hard. Maybe I should have come out and asked if he was single and ready to date. Instead I said, “Not sold on this place. We can go to the next one.”
“Cool, you wanna just hop in the car with me?”
I shrugged and we headed to his car. He opened the door for me. That was quite gentlemanly. I smiled and thanked him. As we drove to the next place, he seemed to open up a little.
“I’m glad you’re decisive, Ayana.”
“Why is that?”
“I usually schedule showings in late evening or early in the day; late afternoon is bad for me. I pick up my son.”
“It’s your week.”
“I actually pick up most days because my schedule is more flexible than hers.”
“Whose? His mom’s or your wife’s?” I jabbed that question in quickly so that I could get the info I needed to either stop or continue flirting.
He laughed and looked at me. I couldn’t help laughing too. That was tacky, but I wanted to know.
“His mom’s. My soon-to-be-ex-wife. We’re in the middle of a divorce.”
“Ooh,” I said, with screeching brakes.
“It’s a nasty one.”
That was a double ooh. We pulled up to the next complex. As we hopped out I shifted into counselor mode. “Divorces are never fun. I think that two adults who realize they are going in opposite directions should agree to disagree and come to an understanding as to how they are going to handle the family business apart. But unfortunately, emotions get the best of us and it becomes a battle.”
“Exactly.”
We caught the elevator to the top floor. This unit was a penthouse condo with a loft and den. As soon as we entered it felt like home. He looked at me and knew that we had struck gold.
He said, “Don’t get too excited. We have others to see.”
This place had a concierge, a twenty-four-hour doorman, a fitness center, and a meeting room. It offered everything I needed and more. It had mahogany hardwood floors, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances. Both of the bedrooms were large and considered master suites. The loft overlooked the family room. There was a bump-out eat-in kitchen and a formal dining room, as well as a petite patio off the family room. I imagined having my girlfriends over for our Friday night chats. The floor plan was ideal for me and my needs.
