Seeking the Future
By
Brenda Kennedy
Copyright 2016 by Brenda Kennedy
SMASHWORDS EDITION
Dedicated to Brenda’s Street Talkers.
From the deepest part of my soul, I thank you. You are my rock in this journey.
Seeking the Future:
Book Three of The Forgotten Trilogy
By
Brenda Kennedy
Synopsis
Ava has lived through things others couldn’t. You name it, she has survived it. She has lived through love and loss, but being a single mother with no memory of her past is something she never thought could be her reality.
Just when she thought things couldn’t get any worse, Ava’s memory returns, flooding her thoughts with a living nightmare of what her life was like with Connor. The dreams that have haunted her don’t even compare to the horrific life that she’s somehow managed to survive. The amnesia that once protected her is gone, and she’s faced with the unimaginable truth.
Can Ava pull it together to move forward? Does she hide the truth to protect the people who love her? Will her past define her future?
The long-awaited conclusion of the Forgotten Trilogy is at your fingertips. Happy reading.
Cast of Characters
Ava Emerson: Heroine and lead character
Claire Richards: Ava’s mom
Marshall Richards: Ava’s dad
Connor Emerson: Ava’s deceased husband
Brett and Nichole Emerson: Connor’s mom and dad
Chase Murphy: Connor’s colleague and Ava’s best male friend
Skylar Sperry: Ava’s best friend and business partner
Lorraine: Connor’s paralegal
Skylar’s mom and brother: Jessica and Mark
Xander Jamison: Ava’s deceased boyfriend, a famous romance author
Jami Alexander: Xander’s pen name
Drew: Xander’s identical twin brother
Daniel: Xander’s dad
Rachael: Xander’s mom
Wesley: Xander’s editor and friend
Dr. Adams: Ava’s doctor
Luke Tanner: Man who helped Olivia
Chapter One: Fatal Dose
Ava
“I’m going to the restroom and splash some water on my face. It’s hot in here,” I lie. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” I need to get away. I can’t talk to him right now. I pick up my purse and head to the nearest restroom.
Closing the door tightly behind me, I lean against it. After several deep breaths, I look in the mirror. I look like a mess. Get it together, Ava. Reaching into my purse for my compact, I pull out a sack. It’s the pregnancy test I bought yesterday. I sit on the toilet before I fall down. My time with Xander runs through my mind. The things we said, the places we went, and the few times we made love. My heart hurts that he isn’t here. Can I be pregnant? I have been pretty nauseous lately. Well, there’s only one way to find out. I read the directions and decide there’s no better time than the present. I pee on the stick and wait… and wait… and wait. When I hear Chase tell Skylar in the other room to check on me, I decide I don’t have time to wait for the result. Shoving the box, the pregnancy test strip, and all evidence into my purse, I join my family and friends.
I head to the table displaying the Chinese food, careful not to look at Chase. The near wet dream is still fresh in my mind.
“Feeling better, Ava?” Nichole asks.
I smile. “I am. Thank you.”
During dinner, we talk about a grand opening date for the bakery and discuss the desserts and other sweets Nichole plans on selling at her bakery. I chance a look at Chase and see him smile as Nichole talks with enthusiasm. I admire his boyish good looks. She says she’d like to be open for business by spring. We also talk about a design for her bakery sign. It’s nice to take my mind off of Connor, Lorraine, and her son.
When we get home, Dad says that he and Chase want to speak to me in private. Bracing myself for the conversation, I say, “Can we talk now? I don’t really want to wait until tomorrow.”
We walk into the tearoom for privacy.
“Chase and I think that we should approach Lorraine with a court order for a DNA test for her and her son.”
Just the thought of this conversation turns my stomach. “According to her, she already has the DNA test results.”
“We don’t believe her.”
“Why? Her child looks just like Connor.”
Dad says, “Sit down, Ava. I have something to tell you.” He remains impassive until I’m seated. “Do you remember during the holidays I told you I needed to talk to you?”
I remember it clearly. “You know something?”
“I know something, yes.”
Dad sits down across from me at the four-top table in the tearoom. Chase remains standing with his hands in his jean pockets. I focus my attention to my dad. “Dad, just say it. Whatever it is, it can’t be as bad as I think it is.” He looks at Chase and I’m reminded that my family and friends are keeping secrets from me.
“After the accident and while you were in the coma, I went with Brett to clean out Connor’s office.” Chase now sits down beside me. “I found something that raised suspicion.”
I have no idea what he found, but it can’t be good. “You found proof of an affair?”
He takes a deep breath and says, “I did. But it wasn’t with Connor.”
If it wasn’t with Connor, then with whom? What kind of proof of an affair would be in Connor’s desk if it wasn’t with him? His dad! “Brett?” My heart hurts for Nichole. Will this nightmare ever end for her?
“It was Brett. There was a DNA report for paternity in Connor’s desk drawer. I saw the names on the paper, but Brett shoved it in the box before I could read anything else. I didn’t see the results, just the names.”
I think for a minute. That would explain why the baby looked like Connor. “Are you sure it had Brett’s name on it?”
“I’m sure. But there’s more.” I brace myself. What more can he add to this? “I met with Lorraine for dinner just before you moved here from Lake City.”
“Why? Did you think that Connor could have fathered her child?”
“No, but I had to make sure he didn’t. I didn’t trust her, and I had to make sure that there weren’t any surprises. My fear was that she would approach you and say something that would trigger your memory. I didn’t want your memory to return under those circumstances.”
“And she confirmed the baby belonged to Brett?”
“She said he was the father. That’s what has me puzzled about why she’s approaching you.”
“She didn’t actually show you proof when you two had dinner?”
“No, she didn’t. Just like she didn’t show you proof the other night.”
I think for a moment as I wrap my head around all of this. “If Brett was the father of her son, why would the baby’s name be Connor, and why is she saying that Connor is his father?”
Chase says, “That would remain a mystery.”
“I think we should move forward and try to get our own answers. Of course, it’s not a good idea to say anything to Nichole about this.”
“Agreed,” Chase and I say in unison. I look at Chase and I have to wonder if he’s also hiding something from me.
Later that night, I remember about the pregnancy test stashed away in my purse. With shaky hands I remove the box and the pregnancy test trip. I look at the test strip and I have no idea what it means. I search frantically inside my purse for the instruction sheet. With relief, I lean against the bathroom wall. One line. One glorious red line. Not pregnant. Thankfully, I can put this chapter of my life behind me.
That night, I dream
of cheaters and liars. I dream of single moms and cute little babies. I dream of men undeserving of the role of fatherhood. I dream of Connor and Brett Emerson.
In the morning, I wake up with new energy. After the pregnancy scare yesterday, I realize how differently my life could have been in just a single year. I wake up more appreciative of the life I have now. No worries of being a single mom, no worries of unnecessary struggles, and no worries of an unplanned pregnancy.
When I get up, Drew and Skylar are at Tybee Island. Mom is standing at the sink, washing breakfast dishes.
“Good morning,” I say as I make my way over to the coffee maker.
“Good morning. You look rested, did you sleep well?”
“I did. Where did Chase and Dad go?”
“They’re in the tearoom.” She picks up a coffee mug and dries it.
I sit down at the bar and ask Mom, “Do you want to do some sightseeing later?”
“I would love to, but your father thinks it’s best that we return home today.”
“I see.” Wrapping my hands around my hot coffee, I ask, “Is Chase going home, too?”
“I am. I need to get back to work.” I look behind me and see Dad and Chase walking into the room.
Feeling disappointed, I try to hide my emotions. “I wondered how you managed to get so many vacation days,” I tease.
He smiles when he sees the humor in my eyes. “The benefit of not having a life is an accrual of vacation time.”
I’m sad to think that Chase doesn’t have a life. He’s good looking, successful, and smart. What more does a man need?
“Well, hopefully that’ll change for you soon.” Dad walks over and kisses Mom as she dries the dishes.
Change for him soon? Why? What’s recently happened in his life that will change.” Why, do you have a date?”
“Not yet,” Dad teases. “But if Skylar has her way, he’ll be dating frequently in the very near future.”
“Skylar? What does she have to do with anything about this?” I look at Chase, hoping he’ll answer and not Dad.
Mom says, “Skylar started a profile of him on one of those dating websites.”
I laugh. I always thought those dating sites were for desperate people. Of course, I don’t say that.
“Don’t laugh,” Chase says. “She started a profile of you, too.”
“No.” My laugh is now gone. I barely have a smile. “Those dating sites are for people looking to date. Not for people who don’t want to date.” I walk away to get my laptop.
Chase says as he takes a seat on the couch, “It’s password protected. She fixed it so neither of us can make changes or delete the account.”
“Great.” I sit on the couch and sip my coffee. “I’ll deal with Skylar when she returns.”
“Let me know how that works out for you.”
Just before I shower, I invite Mom, Dad, and Chase to stay until after dinner. I know they need to return home, but some days, I just want to be surrounded by my family and friends. Drew and Skylar come home while Mom and I are preparing dinner.
“Do I have time to see if Ava and Chase got any matches on their dating pages?”
“I’d like to talk to you about that.” I wipe my hands off and walk towards her as she walks into the bedroom to get her laptop.
“You don’t need to thank me. I was more than happy to do it for you, and for you, too, Chase,” she yells over her shoulder.
“I wasn’t going to thank you.”
Skylar brings her laptop out and sets it up on the table. “You sound upset,” she says without looking at me.
“I don’t want to have a profile on those…” I begin to say before she interrupts me.
“Oh, look. Your profile got some views, and there’s even a couple of matches.”
Wait? What? “Let me see that.” I lean in and look at the computer screen.
“Sixteen views, three winks, and two matches.” Skylar laughs. “That was fast.”
She sits back so I can scan through the profile. At least she had the decency to use a good picture of me. It also says I’m a nurse. “I’m glad you tried to conceal some of my identity.”
“I’m not a total idiot.” She logs out of my account and logs into Chase’s account. Let’s see what activity Chase has.” I look over at him and he’s watching television. I don’t think he knows what we’re talking about. “Holy hell, Chase. Thirty-one views, twelve winks, and six matches.” She laughs and he looks up. “They think you’re a hottie.”
Chase looks over at Drew, who’s laughing. “Tell me you didn’t have anything to do with this.”
“It was all her.”
Chase has a great profile picture. “I’m not feeding into this nonsense, Skylar. Nice try.” Skylar closes up her laptop and Chase continues, “I don’t date because I don’t want to, not because I can’t get a date.”
“That’s what they all say.”
We have dinner before Mom, Dad, and Chase leave to return home to Lake City. I was glad when we got some last-minute reservations for the inn. I do like some down time, but mostly I like to stay busy, and I especially like knowing we have money coming in. It would also be nice to get into a normal routine. Steady guests mean a steady income. It’s a win-win.
Just before bed, Skylar says, “You have several more views and a couple more winks on your profile page. Do you want to see them?”
I take a deep breath before answering. “I’d rather you take it down. I don’t have the time or the energy to date.” I feel exhausted. “I’m heading to bed. Good night, Drew and Skylar.”
“I’ll look through these for you and see if there’s anyone worth replying to.”
I don’t answer. I just walk away.
Skylar
“Good night, Ava. Sleep well.” Drew looks at me when Ava closes her bedroom door. “I’m not so sure this a good idea,” he says.
“Drew, I know Ava better than she knows herself. And this is a great idea.”
“She doesn’t seem too impressed with it.”
“That’s because she doesn’t know my plan.”
Over the next few weeks, things at the inn start to pick up. The rooms are filling up, guests are excited to be on vacation. The days are getting warmer, and Lou Ann and Steve are back from vacation and working at their inn.
The dating website for Ava is quite active, but there aren’t any suitable matches for her and no one interesting is winking at her. I talk excitedly, although I’m pretty disappointed. I want to get her involved with someone. I want to get her back to how she was with Xander.
“I wish you would give up on that,” she says, reading.
“Are you talking to me?”
She looks up over the book. “It’s just me and you in the room. Who else would I be talking to?”
“I will on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“One date. Let me find you someone and you go on one date with him.”
She folds the book and sets it down on her lap. “Skylar?”
“Just one date and then I’ll delete your account and we’ll never talk about it again.”
“One date?”
“And I’ll never mention it again.”
“Swear?”
“Girl Scouts honor.”
She thinks for a brief minute. “One lunch date, and that’s it.”
I smile. “Okay. I’ll see who they match you up with over the next few days.”
Later that night Ava gets a suitable match on her profile. Finally. It took long enough and he seems like a great match. I set up a date for Saturday, at noon, down by River Walk. Outdoor dining on a Saturday afternoon seems like a safe date to me. I decide to not tell her right away. I don’t want her to freak out. I’ll tell her on Friday; that’ll give her enough time.
Ava doesn’t hear anything about Lorraine and I have no idea if that’s good news or not. She seems sad, and I blame it on Lorraine. Of course, it could also be because of Xander. Drew left
to take his mom home, and I’m glad to have a few days alone. I need some time alone with Ava to get her on board with this online dating.
On Friday night, I ask Ava, “What do you want to wear tomorrow?”
“Why, are we going someplace?”
Opening her closet door, I say, “Tomorrow’s your date with the mystery man from the internet.”
“Wait? What? Tomorrow? I didn’t know anything about this.”
“I just told you.” Pulling out a white sweater and a pair of skinny jeans, I say, “I think you should wear this.”
Ava takes the sweater and jeans from me and returns them to the clothes rack in the closet. “I’m not going to meet some guy I’ve never met before for some date.”
“You already agreed to it.”
“I did no such thing. If I’m just finding out about this, how could I have agreed to it?”
She looks pissed and it makes me laugh. “When I said to go on one date and then I’ll remove your profile off their web page. You do remember that, right?” Of course she does. I watch as she sits on her bed.
“How long have you known about this?”
“Since yesterday.” I remove the jeans and the sweater from the clothes rack again and hang them up on the back of the door. “Wear this, it’ll be perfect.”
“I could kill you,” she says.
“I know. I can live with that. He’ll be meeting you at River Walk tomorrow at 1:00 pm.”
She falls back on her bed and covers her face with a pillow.
I laugh. “Look pretty. I think this guy might be the one,” I say, walking out of the room. I close the door and hear the pillow hitting the door. “You missed,” I yell over my shoulder.
Ava
Lying on the bed, I stare at the white sweater and jeans hanging on the bedroom door. Xander hasn’t been gone for two months yet. I think it’s too soon to date. Is it too soon to move on without him? I have no idea. I don’t want to date. I know that people like Connor are out there, but I also know that people like Chase and Xander are out there, too. I’m more fearful I’ll end up with someone like Connor again. Obviously, I’m a bad judge of character. I’d rather be alone than be with the likes of Connor. I’m not sure I’d survive another relationship like that one. Is there something wrong with being alone? It doesn’t necessarily make a person lonely.
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