The fae elder pause and looked directly into Zander’s eyes. She stared at him as if she knew the amber of his eyes firsthand. As if she had lived through watching them rule over her.
“But you,” she continued, “are an Asteroth. How it is possible is beyond my wisdom but you are the Asteroth. The one who left us has been returned. I hope you are far less selfish in this life than you were in your last one. You owe Faerie a great debt and it is your duty to repay it.”
I thought the elder was done speaking but then she regarded me in the same manner she did Zander.
“You do as well, My Queen. Your actions were just as selfish as your King’s. Even if Faerie had lost its King, it would have still had its Queen. The faefolk loved you as much as they did him and when you un-made yourself, you un-made our direct heir.”
I shook my head in disbelief, my eyes wanting desperately to squeeze themselves shut.
“What are you saying?”
“You know what I am saying.”
Her stare held strong, cold and unyielding, refusing to release me. She wouldn’t permit me to look away. She forced my lids to remain open and me to face the truth.
“I wouldn’t.” I tried to deny the truth now that I could no longer ignore it.
“You did,” she hissed at me.
“Maybe I didn’t know.”
I couldn’t have known. I wouldn’t have acted so selfishly, so rashly if I had.
“You knew. Perhaps you were not consciously aware of it yet, but you knew all the same. It was a truth that was cemented in the very fiber of your existence. It was a part of your essential self.
“And you were no better,” she turned on Zander again. “You knew too. How many times are you going to abandon the very world that you created? It worked out okay the first time but not so well the second time. It is time you accept what you are and the burdens that come with it and get over it. You have a duty to the world you created. One that fate is unwilling to let you neglect. It brought you back a second time and it will keep bringing you back until you fulfill it.”
She jerked her head toward me.
“The same goes for her. When she drank from the cup of un-making with the intent to share your fate, she sealed hers. Your fates are entwined. Yours is hers and hers is yours.”
Chapter 26
I was too emotionally shell-shocked to be embarrassed by puking my guts out beside the fae elder’s home. The weight of the information Priscus dropped on us was a heavy burden to bear. I could accept that I was Caelia re-made but what I couldn’t accept were the horribly selfish decisions she had made. She’d resented and been furious at Aldric in the visions for his thoughtless impulsivity, but she had been no better than him.
“Better now?” Zander asked once my vomiting had transformed into dry heaves and then into nothingness.
He still held my hair back from my face and a supportive arm remained wrapped around me.
I up-righted myself, wiping the back of my hand across my mouth.
“No, but I think I am done emptying the contents of my stomach. There goes my lunch.” I sought to ease the tension by making light of the situation.
“That’s alright. This is you we’re talking about. You will more than make up for it at dinner,” Zander said following my lead.
He forced his lips into a facetious smile, but it didn’t look like it should have. It appeared strained and unnatural on his face. The tension riding him stopped it short from reaching his eyes.
If we held a mirror up to one another we would both see shadows moving behind our gazes. As it was, we could see them just fine in each other’s.
Bone-weary, my body slumped against the structure of the house.
“We really fucked up,” I said into my hands.
“Royally,” I heard Zander say as he slumped down beside me.
“All of this time I have been working to save the people of Faerie and I am the reason for the horrors they are experiencing. If not for me, my parents would still be alive. My brother would be too. And so would Darrien’s and Ysabeau’s and Selene’s and Ignacio’s and Khamaad’s and Lor’s. All of it is my fault. Everything is my fault.”
“Look at me,” Zander said from beside me.
I shook my head, continuing to bury my face in my hands. I could not meet his eyes and see the same blame within them that I harbored toward myself.
I felt his fingers gently grip my chin between them. This time I did not allow him to raise my head. I fought against it. But try as I might to keep from looking at him, his grip remained unbreakable as he gently by stubbornly forced me to meet his gaze. It was a testament to how rapidly Faerie was changing him from mortal to fae. His amber eyes met mine and I saw every ounce of blame in them that I expected to see. Only, it was not toward me. It was directed inward at himself.
“Nothing is your fault,” he said to me. “The blame lies with me and me alone.”
My heart fractured at the beginnings of self-loathing I saw commingled with the self-directed blame. I laid a palm against his cheek hoping the contact would ground him.
“You. Are. Not. The. Person.From. The.Vision.”
I punctuated each word that I spoke hoping Zander would receive the message loud and clear.
“You may be Aldric Asteroth re-made who was Chaos re-made but you are nothing like either of them. The Zander I know, who hails from the House of Roth, does not have a selfish bone in his body. He is kind and compassionate and thoughtful and considerate and always puts the wellbeing of others before his own. He is the living embodiment of the noble stag that serves as the representation for his family. You.Are.Not.Them. You are nothing like either of the two.”
The shadows receded with each word I spoke. By the time I had finished they had nearly faded. Though the residue of them remained, lurking just beneath the surface waiting for the perfect opportunity to hijack his self-perception. They could not win. I would not let them win. They couldn’t have him and neither could Fate. The malefic, spiteful bitch could be damned. Zander’s and my destiny was ours to control. He was not Aldric and I was not Caelia. We would not repeat the past. I finally understood that creating a new destiny meant creating a new present and a new future. I shook the last vestiges of my emotional turmoil off and leapt to my feet.
“Come on.” I held my hand out to my betrothed.
“To where?” he asked confused even as he immediately followed my lead, leaping to his feet as well.
I placed my hand in his and our fingers curled around each other of their own accord.
“To kick fate in the ass and create a new destiny.”
The last remnants of the shadows drained from Zander’s eyes. They lit up with the warmth and sureness of self I had come to know and love. He inhaled then exhaled deeply. With the exhale he also released the last of the tension from his muscles.
His eyes bore passionately into mine.
“Gods, Skyler. I can never say it enough-- you are an invaluably precious breath of fresh air.”
“I bet you say that to all the girls,” I teased him.
All playfulness drained from his eyes. They bore into me intently.
“No just you. Always and forever and only you.” ~ Zander and Skyler
Stay tuned for the next exciting, action-packed and swoon-worthy installment in Zander and Skyler’s journey. The third book in the Assassin at Court series will be out in the summer of 2015!
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Until then…
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Other Works by Nia Da
venport
Two-Faced (Assassin at Court Series, Book 1)
Born in Blood (Born Hunter Series)
Chaos Page 14
