Myth-ion Improbable

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Myth-ion Improbable Page 8

by Robert Asprin


  "And right into Glenda's waiting arms," Aahz said. "Just as she had been planning."

  "She used a dimension-blocking spell on me," Tanda said. "She searched us for the D-Hopper, wished us both luck when she couldn't find it or the map, and hopped out."

  "I assume she's going after the treasure," Aahz said. "And now she's got a full day's start on us." So what I had been feeling from Aahz was anger, both at me and at the fact that we might lose the treasure, after getting so close.

  "So what's a dimension block?"

  "A spell that keeps another person from jumping out of a dimension," Aahz said. "Some cultures use it to imprison people. It's a pretty basic spell."

  "That you haven't taught me yet," I said.

  He shrugged. "There's a lot I haven't taught you. And after falling so easily for this Glenda's charms and smooth talk, I'm not sure if I ever will."

  Tanda patted Aahz's green hand across the table.

  "Easy on your apprentice. He's young and full of hormones. He did get back here, didn't he?"

  I wanted to ask what a hormone was, but figured I'd get that information from Tanda later, when Aahz wasn't around to make fun of my stupidity. He was disgusted enough with me as it was. And this time around I agreed with him. I shouldn't have been so easily taken with Glenda. She'd given me a couple of compliments and I'd been putty in her hands.

  I looked at Tanda. "So once you jump out of here with the D-Hopper, the spell is broken?"

  "Exactly," she said.

  "Finish up," Aahz said. "We've given her enough of a head start as it is."

  "So how do we get the treasure home once we find it?" I asked, then instantly realized just how stupid my question was. It had been Glenda who had told us we were too far from any of our known worlds to dimension-hop safely. That had been another of Glenda's lies.

  Tanda shook her head. "I think that's where Glenda got me. She blocked my sense of dimensions when we got near her. When we jumped back here from Kowtow, into the storm, I could sense Vortex #4 and Vortex #2. We can get home any time we want."

  My relief at that, combined with my relief at finding Aahz and Tanda all right, was more than I could handle. I stared at my stew, trying to make myself eat as much of it as I could. Doing anything else and I just might fall apart completely.

  "So what did you do when she left you?" Tanda asked.

  I shrugged, making myself focus on what I had managed to do right.

  "Paid our bill by doing the dishes so no one would be chasing me, then explored the town to see what I could see, then sat and waited, staying in the open so that you could find me."

  "And slept?" Aahz said, his voice sounding disgusted.

  "Not really," I said. "I got a hotel room because those people are deathly afraid of being outside at night. And of something called a round-up."

  "Really?" Tanda asked.

  I glanced up from my stew. Even Aahz was now showing interest.

  "Yeah, they bolt their doors and shutter every, window, every night," I said. "I couldn't think of a way to ask them what they were afraid of without tipping my hand that I was a demon. And at that point I had other problems to figure out, like what to do next if you two didn't come back."

  Aahz nodded "So we need to be careful at night."

  "The bartender guy said the round-up was still a few days off, since it wasn't the full moon yet."

  "I wonder what they're rounding up?" Tanda asked.

  "Or who's doing the rounding?" Aahz added. "There's a lot to Kowtow we don't know. You have the map?"

  "I sure do," I said, taking it out of my pocket and handing it to him.

  As I did I had another realization. The map was magik. It hadn't shown us the right path to Kowtow until I took the magik out of it, but back on Kowtow the magik had returned to the map.

  "Aahz," I said, smiling at my mentor, "you know, don't you, that the magik returned to the map when we reached Kowtow?"

  "Yeah," he said, almost sneering at me. "So? Glenda saw it as well."

  "Exactly," I said, smiling at my green mentor, "Glenda looked at the map while we were in Evade. Right?"

  Suddenly Tanda burst out laughing, long and hard and so loud I thought she might hurt herself.

  I smiled at the puzzled expression on my mentor's face. Considering how stupid I had been lately, getting back on top and giving him some good news felt good.

  "The map is a puzzle," I said. "That basic nature of the map won't change just because we reached Kowtow."

  Suddenly the light in Aahz's eyes brightened and slowly a smile crept over his green-scaled face.

  "Glenda has the wrong location."

  "Exactly," I said. "The map changes every time we get closer, just as it did with dimensions. I'm betting it will do that on Kowtow as well."

  Aahz put the folded map back in his belt pouch and stood, suddenly in a hurry.

  "Great thinking, Skeeve," he said. "Let's get back to Kowtow. Glenda is going to come looking for us to get the map when she discovers she has wrong information. And when she does, I want to be ready for her this time." I liked that idea a lot.

  Chapter Eight

  "Flying. It's the only way to travel!"

  B. Holly

  We arrived back at the cliff face on Kowtow with less than two hours of daylight left. The day was still hot and dry, and nothing had changed in the general area since I had left a few hours before. I quickly disguised all three of us again in the standard wear of the people of this dimension.

  We had packed some food and containers of water. Aahz didn't much like the idea of eating vegetables. Pervects were mostly meat-eaters. Aahz checked over the D-Hopper and then reset the dimension and hid it in his shirt.

  "Ahh, that feels good," Tanda said, stretching toward the sun, her white hat tipped back, her large belt buckle glistening in the sun.

  "The heat?" I asked.

  "Nope. The dimension block being lifted. Amazing how much you miss the ability to hop after you've had it and then it's taken away."

  "Yeah, I know," Aahz said.

  "Oh, sorry, big guy," she said.

  "Gotten used to it," he said I couldn't even imagine how Aahz felt, once being a powerful magician and then having his powers taken away from him because of a practical joke by my previous mentor. My mentor had been killed before he could lift the joke. Now Aahz just had to wait for the joke to wear off and his powers to come back, which he said would take more time than I wanted to think about.

  Aahz unfolded the magik map and laid it on the top of a rock so we could all study it.

  The town of Evade was clearly marked as our starting point, with a road leading from it to a town called Baker. In Baker two roads split off to two other towns, then two roads left each of those towns. Eventually a few of the roads led to Dodge, where it was marked that the treasure was.

  Where Glenda was heading.

  But was the golden-milk-giving cow there? I was betting it wasn't. I was betting the map would change when we reached Baker. And then keep on changing with every city after that until we finally found the right city.

  Glenda was going to be angry, and it served her right. I didn't want to see what Aahz would do to her the next time he saw her. Pervects are not to be messed with, and she had left him to die on a frozen planet. What he would do to her wasn't going to be pretty.

  "So we're back needing horses," Aahz said, tracing along the distances between the towns. Then he looked at me. "Unless you think your flying spell is good enough here to work for us."

  Flying wasn't the strongest of my magik, but it was one of the things Aahz had trained me to do first. It had saved us from a hanging and a few other tight spots in our last few adventures. But I wasn't sure if I could lift all three of us and carry us any distance.

  "I can try," I said, wishing I hadn't said those words the moment I heard them come out of my mouth.

  "Concentrate," Aahz said, going into teacher mode. "Search for your lines of power and use them, pull th
em in, let them flow through you."

  "You can do it, Skeeve," Tanda said.

  I wasn't so sure. Each place had power lines, invisible things that all magicians got their energy from. Some places, like the area of the cabin in Vortex #6 were jam-packed with power. Back at the cabin I could have flown fifty people, but here there wasn't much magik power. In fact, it seemed almost empty.

  I stretched out my mind, holding onto the power that I could feel, and then concentrating on bringing it in and using it to lift all three of us. A moment later we all were off the ground and into the hot air.

  "Not too high," Aahz warned. "Keep us just three or four paces off the ground."

  I was glad to do that, because it was easier. And much safer to boot. I lowered all three of us back to a position just above the top of the boulders and held us there for a few moments to make sure I could do it, then I lowered us back to where we had started.

  When I let us go I could feel the energy drain away. I was sweating and short of breath and needed a drink of water, but at least I had done it.

  "Nice job," Tanda said, handing me a canister of water.

  "How long do you think you could keep that up?" Aahz asked, watching me with a look that I knew meant he could see through any extra bragging I might try.

  "Honestly, I don't know," I said after I took a long drink of the wonderfully cold liquid. "With rests, and touching each of you as I do it, maybe fifteen minutes at a time. The lines of power are weak in this area. They may be stronger in other areas and then I could last longer."

  Aahz nodded, seemingly satisfied with my answer. He turned to Tanda.

  "Can you do a cushion spell, in case he drops us?"

  "Not a problem," Tanda said.

  "What do we do if someone sees us?" I asked. "I'm not sure that I can do a bird disguise spell as well as keeping us flying."

  "We're not going to worry about that," Aahz said. Clearly he didn't think I could either.

  "We'll walk when we see someone," Tanda said, staring at the town below us in the valley. "Just keep us close to the ground and over a road."

  I nodded. "Whenever you're ready."

  "Good," Aahz said. "Take us down to Evade, we'll walk through town and out the other side."

  I nodded, glancing at how low the sun was getting in the sky. We'd have to deal with where we were going to stay later. I doubted that Aahz would want to stay in Evade. With luck we'd reach Baker, and they'd have a hotel there as well.

  I moved over and stood between Aahz and Tanda, putting a hand on each of their arms. Then I concentrated on taking in what power I could find and lifting us about a pace off the ground.

  "Hold on to your hats," I said as we lifted into the air.

  I floated us down to the road and then picked up speed, skimming us toward Evade a lot faster than even a running horse could take us. To an outsider we must have looked very strange. Three strangers seeming to be just standing, but moving along the road at a very fast clip. After only two minutes I was starting to feel the wear, but before I had to stop Aahz said, "I think we're close enough now."

  What had cost me an hour of walking earlier had only taken two or three minutes of flying. Why hadn't I thought of that this morning?

  I slowed and put us down at a normal walking pace. The moment I let go of the power I stumbled, but Tanda kept me from falling on my face. It was as if every bit of energy had been drained from my muscles, leaving them weak and noodle-like. "You'll be fine in a moment," Aahz said, keeping us walking at a good pace toward the now close edge of town.

  He was right. A few more steps and I was sweating like a dam had broken, but I was able to walk.

  Tanda gave me some more water, and that brought even more of my energy back. I was starting to believe that I could do this. And flying, even though it tired me out, was a lot better than riding horses, let alone doing the job it would take to pay for one.

  We got into town as people were starting to close up their businesses and shutter the windows.

  "You weren't kidding, were you?" Tanda said as we walked down the now mostly deserted sidewalk.

  "They're afraid of something that comes out at night," I said. "I have no idea what it might be."

  As we passed in front of Audry's, my friend the bartender waved from inside the window. I tipped my hat back at him. These people might be strange vegetarians who were afraid of the dark, but they sure were nice. We passed the hotel without Aahz even hesitating. And I didn't say anything either. The last thing I wanted to let my mentor know was that the fear the locals felt had gotten to me as well during my one-night stay here. On the other side of town we stepped off the sidewalk and just kept walking, past a few homes with the shutters already drawn and bolted. Ten minutes later, with the sun still not touching the tops of the hills to the west, Aahz gave the all-clear.

  Again I touched each of them, pulled in the power, and lifted us, sending us down the road as fast as I dared take us, considering I had to make sharp corners and steep hills.

  This time I lasted ten minutes before I had to stop. Water and a quick rest got me going again, just as the sun started to set. From what I could tell, we were a long way yet from Baker. It was getting noticeably cooler, which was also helping me.

  "Can you keep going?" Tanda asked as I stopped for a second time and sat down on a rock beside the road.

  "We're making good speed," Aahz said, clearly satisfied with our progress.

  "We are," Tanda said, "but this is hard on Skeeve."

  "I can keep going," I said, taking one more drink and then standing. "I just need to rest every ten minutes or so."

  "Understandable," Aahz said. "For someone of your level of skill."

  "For someone of any level," Tanda said, stepping to my defense. "There's not much power in this area. He's having to pull from a ways off."

  "That true?" Aahz asked me.

  "It is," I said. "But I said I can keep going and I can."

  "Then we go when you're ready," Aahz said. "We don't have much light left and we won't be able to make the speed we are making now at night."

  It was clear we were going to spend a night outside on Kowtow and face what an entire population was afraid to face.

  Aahz didn't seem to be worried.

  Tanda had said nothing.

  I was just the apprentice. What place was it for me to say anything?

  In the west the sun was slowly setting. In the east an almost full moon was starting to come up over the horizon. In a few days the full moon would signal another fear in the people who lived here: the round-up.

  I pushed the thoughts and fears from my mind, focused on bringing in as much power as I could, then lifted us knee-high off the ground and headed down the road as fast as I could take us.

  The sun had almost set completely by the time I stopped for my next break. There was still no sign of the town of Baker.

  Okay, I'm the first to admit when I'm being stupid, if it's pointed out to me. Luckily I had had enough common sense to not tell Aahz and Tanda how worried I was about the darkness, so they didn't get the chance to point out any of my stupidity when we ran into no problems at all after it turned dark.

  The first part of the trip was fairly easy. It took me three more rest stops, and, it was well after the sun had set by the time we got to Baker. The town was buttoned up tighter than anything I had ever seen. In the moonlight the buildings looked haunted and strange, more like monster-boxes than structures. Very little light got past any of the shutters, but the almost-full moon was giving us enough light to see by to stay on the road.

  Baker looked to be about twice the size of Evade, and was spread out over more than just a Main Street. It was tucked into a small valley, with flat farmland going off in both directions from it.

  We walked into town, following the road and staying off the wooden sidewalks so that we wouldn't make any noise. The town was just flat empty. Not even a horse had been left outside. Nothing was moving, and as far as we co
uld tell, nothing lived here, even though we knew better.

  "This is very strange," Tanda said as we got near the center of town. "How boring would it be to go to bed when the sun set every night? I'd go stark-raving crazy in a matter of days."

  Tanda was the kind of person that always had to be doing something: going on adventures, shopping, or partying. I had no doubt that it wouldn't take her days to go crazy here.

  "I just wonder what they are afraid of," Aahz said. He pointed to one building. "Those shutters look as if they could take a pretty good pounding and still hold."

  "It was the same way in Evade," I said. "But I was awake all night and never heard a sound from outside."

  "More than likely this is just an old custom," Tanda said, "and we're still so far out in the sticks, away from any larger cities, that the custom remains."

  "Are there larger cities in this dimension?" I asked.

  "Who knows?" Aahz said. "Just stay alert and watch for anything unusual."

  He didn't have to tell me to do that, since I was already on full alert. And even though flying, combined with no sleep the night before, had me exhausted, I doubted I could sleep now even if I wanted to try.

  Aahz found a sliver of light coming from the shutters of one store and stopped. He unfolded the map and we gathered around, trying to be as quiet as we could while we looked for our next destination.

  "You were right, Skeeve," Aahz whispered, patting me on the back.

  The map had changed.

  Baker, the city we were standing in, was now the focal point of the map, and two roads led toward two other towns from Baker. The treasure was now marked in a town called Silver City. Dodge City wasn't even on the map. Glenda was going to be mad. I wished I could be there when she discovered how stupid she had been.

  "So which way do we go?" Tanda asked.

  The two towns next in line from Baker were named Bank and Keep. Both looked to be about the same distance from here, but Bank was to the right in the north and Keep was to the left in the south.

  "Bank," I said, before I even realized the word was out of my mouth.

 

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