“I could.” The tapping of those two fingers was the only movement in her body, and it stayed slow and steady. “Mother cannot command my obedience as easily now, and she has not asked me to stay out of this. And I may well be stronger than Luca, for all that he wanders free of his blood parent and I do not. And it would be sweet indeed to kill him.” Her expression changed for the first time, her eyelids dropping slightly, and an almost sexual anticipation crossing her face when she considered killing Luca.
My heart was beating faster, and I had to clench my fists. The thought of being around Prudence when she killed was enough to make my stomach roil, but if that was how I could get her to help me, I would take it. I didn’t care what her motives were, just what her actions resulted in. “Will you help me?” I repeated. “Will you save Amy?”
Prudence’s eyes opened completely when I mentioned Amy’s name, and then she gave a short, high laugh that grated on my nerves. “You really are foolish,” she said, that familiar sneer returning to her face. “Mother has not commanded me because she does not need to. Why should I care about a child I have never met? Why should I care whether her death is quick or messy? But you care very much. How interesting.”
I fought down my temper hard. “You don’t have to care,” I said, forcing out each word. “You wouldn’t do it for her. You’d do it for you.” She lifted one eyebrow curiously, and I rushed on. “To prove that you’re stronger than Luca.” I could only hope that ego would work as an appeal. Prudence had plenty of that. “He made a host, even though he’s younger than you. You haven’t done that, so people would think he’s stronger than you. If you beat him, and take his toy away, no one will think that anymore.”
Something flickered in Prudence’s blue eyes, something dangerous and feral, but it was gone in an instant, and her mouth widened in a cold, thin smile. “Is that what you think?” she asked. Then she called, “Desiree! Come here!”
The shuffling sound from the kitchen got louder, and I turned and looked as a thin woman in her early thirties crawled into the room. She had long dark hair and a face that probably used to be very pretty, and she was clean and presentable, her clothing a near match to Prudence’s. But there was nothing sane in the dark brown eyes that passed over me as if I were another piece of furniture. There were no marks of any kind on her, except where she’d bitten into her own lip so many times that it was just raw meat, but she flinched when Prudence looked at her, and cringed backward, whimpering, like a beaten dog.
“Desiree, come here,” Prudence repeated sharply, and the woman crawled to her. There was something wrong in the way she moved. Muscles spasmed, making her shake constantly, and when she pulled herself forward on her arms her elbows wiggled bonelessly, empty sausages of flesh that moved against the joints.
There was no way to look away. There was something rotten in the way she smelled that had nothing to do with dirt, because she was immaculately scrubbed. Finally she was at Prudence’s feet, and pressed her face against Prudence’s knee. Prudence leaned down and patted the top of her head absently, as if rewarding a half-senile dog. Then my sister looked back up to me, and smiled at the revulsion that I had been incapable of hiding.
“Yes,” she said. “You see now. Why should I care what Luca does?”
“You’ve made a host?” My voice was barely above a whisper, and my throat still rasped against it.
“Not a very good one, I’m afraid,” Prudence said with another negligent pat to Desiree. We might as well have been talking about a poorly cooked casserole for all the emotion Prudence showed. “I’ve only had her a month, and she’s failing fast. I’m a long way from brooding yet. But Desiree is a sign of something better—that my days at Mother’s skirts are drawing to a close.”
I knew without asking that it was definitely something that Prudence had been doing behind Madeline’s back. But if she’d kept it secret from Madeline, and was now showing me…I stiffened. “You’re showing me this because you plan to kill me?” I asked. I didn’t quite achieve that James Bond level of careless inquiry that I was aiming for. My voice was tight and tense, but I was at least able to say it. I didn’t look away from Prudence, whose smile widened at my question, showing me that her fangs had partially extended, razor-sharp needles in her mouth. She could kill me well before I could make it to the door, and I’d left my bodyguard behind. I kicked myself mentally at my stupidity—my family members were probably the very people I needed the most protection from.
Prudence let the tense moment drag on; then she laughed again, high and cruel. “No, stupid boy. Mother would know in an instant if I spilled your blood, and I won’t move yet. But Luca will be quite capable of killing you, and you’re going to be so thoughtful as to give him the chance.” Prudence’s eyes brightened, the pupil expanding to cover her bright blue irises with gleaming black until looking at her was like looking into the eyes of a great white shark.
“Don’t you think I’d tell Mother about your activities?” I asked, struggling to find some kind of hook, some element of blackmail. Anything to force Prudence to do what I needed her to. “I could call her on a cell phone. I could text her right now.” Well, I could’ve if my phone was still working, but Prudence didn’t need to know about that.
Prudence made a sharp, impatient gesture. “Stop these empty threats. You won’t even dare contact her because you won’t risk her stopping you from trying to get that little girl away from Luca. Because you’re the last hope that child has, even though it’s as false as fool’s gold.”
Prudence moved the hand that had still been patting Desiree’s head down to caress the back of her neck. Desiree’s whimpering became louder, but she never flinched or moved her eyes away from Prudence’s face. Another stroke, and then Prudence’s hand tightened, and there was a movement too fast for my eyes to follow, a cracking sound that filled the room, and Desiree slumped to the floor, her head flopping on a neck that could no longer support it. Her mad eyes emptied, and her mouth dropped open in a silent O of surprise. Prudence nudged the body with one expensive shoe and sniffed. I stayed where I was, frozen.
“Mother is old and powerful,” Prudence said, “and perhaps even wise. But she made a mistake when she made you the way she did, Fortitude. A mistake she continues even now.” Her vampire black eyes were blazing as she stared at me, and none of her hatred was hidden now in that virulent glow. “No vampire should care like you do. Mother refuses to see the implications of her actions, and Chivalry has always been too weak and loves you too much to ever move against you, but I see. I am glad indeed that Luca will correct Mother’s mistake.” Her voice dropped, and she hissed, “I envy him the opportunity.”
“What do you mean?” I demanded. “What was different about the way she made me?”
Prudence reached down and squeezed the dead girl’s neck, crushing the remaining bones beneath her deceptively delicate hand. “Run away, little brother,” she whispered. “Run away and die.”
There were no answers here, and no help at all. I left, walking fast, but forcing myself not to run even when I had to turn my back on her as she sat there in that bland living room, grinding up Desiree’s body in her hands and staring at me with deathly malevolence. I was shivering when I got back to the car, despite the hot afternoon sun, and Suzume took one look at my face and didn’t have to ask me what Prudence had said.
Back to the apartment, where I changed clothes in the bathroom. An old pair of broken-in hiking boots, jeans, and a long-sleeved shirt. That was about as vampire-hunter-y as my wardrobe could supply. It would’ve been nice to top it off with a cool leather jacket, but the best I owned was a cheap windbreaker that had my alma mater stamped on the back. Besides, it was June and temperate. I’d put an undershirt on under my long-sleeved shirt and was already uncomfortably warm in the un-air-conditioned apartment, but I had to keep in mind that I might find myself having to clothe Suzume again, so I’d made it a point to have two layers on top.
I scrubbed my face in the sin
k, getting off a little bit of the orange stain, enough that at least at first glance I looked unremarkable again. I looked at myself in the mirror and took a few deep breaths. Prudence had been the monster in my nightmares since I was nine years old. It should’ve been at least marginally therapeutic to face her alone and on her own turf. I thought of Desiree, changed into something no longer human and then thrown aside because she hadn’t been what the monster had wanted. Just like Jessica Grann, who’d been stolen, broken, then killed because she wasn’t the kind of toy that Luca wanted. They were both monsters, Luca and Prudence. The only difference was in who held their leashes.
My hands were shaking a little as I dried them. Finding Phillip yesterday had been a shock, and the violence that had followed had been completely unexpected. Now I knew that I might be facing blood and bodily injury, and that Suzume was capable of tracking Luca to his lair. I wished that the thought of those two things didn’t scare me, but they did. Maybe my sense of self-preservation was stronger than my desire to engage in heroics. I rested my hands on the edge of the sink and squeezed the cool porcelain for a minute. Okay, I clearly wasn’t Batman, or even Antman, but I was all that Amy had. And wasn’t that just a shame?
Clearly I needed to work on my personal pep talks.
I combed some gel into my hair and tried to crunch some of the dark brown tangle into spikes. The result was semisuccessful, but it did look marginally more badass, and that helped cheer me up. Now all I needed was black leather pants, combat boots, and a black T-shirt to look like an extra from Underworld. It turned out that I actually could laugh in the face of danger, so I called that a win and left the bathroom.
I went out into the living room, where Suzume was seated on the futon, flipping channels on the television. She’d put her hair up in a ponytail, and on impulse I reached out to tug at the silky black rope. She tilted her head slightly, but didn’t object, as I kept my hand around it, stroking it a little with my thumb, before letting it go again. It made me feel better, and when I rested my hand on the arm of the futon, it finally wasn’t shaking anymore.
“Are you still going to try to find Amy?” she asked, her voice so quiet that I barely heard her over the droning of the television.
“Yes.” There was something in her voice that worried me, but I answered quickly, a little annoyed with her. She should’ve known this.
Suzume flipped channels faster, hitting the buttons on the remote with restless, aggressive motions. “And what are you planning to do once we find her?”
“I’ll ask Luca to give her to me.”
Suzume didn’t look at me. “And when he doesn’t?”
The question hung between us. I breathed in deeply, and let it out again. If this came down to a fight between me and Luca, I was beyond screwed, and she knew it. I had hopes for the best and no defense against the worst, but it was all that I had.
“Suze,” I said, desperation in my voice. “I have to find her.”
She kept flipping channels.
“We can make this happen,” I insisted. “I can lie to him, tell him that Madeline got pissed about the publicity, tell him that she sent me to get Amy.”
“And if he calls your mother to verify that?”
“Chivalry will lie for me if he answers the phone.” That wasn’t the answer she was looking for, but I reached out and squeezed her shoulder, willing to her to believe in this, to trust that this could happen. “He will.” I knew that repeating it was the wrong decision, but I needed the reassurance as well.
She turned off the television and set the remote down on the arm of the futon with exquisite care. Then she turned to look at me, and I could finally see how angry she was.
“Fort,” she said. “You aren’t responsible for any of this.”
“I know.”
“Not for Maria.” Her voice was rising as she continued. “Not for Mr. and Mrs. Grann. Not for Jessica. Not for Amy. None of it.” She was shouting in my face now, but I didn’t object, or try to stop her or quiet her down.
She pressed a hand to either side of my face and pulled us close, until all I could see were her dark, beautiful, angry eyes. Her voice dropped, became soft and gentle. “You are not going to be able to save Amy.”
“I can,” I said. “We can.”
“Those are lottery odds, Fort.” Her voice was like a warm blanket, urging me to roll up in it, to just accept that truth. “Everything has to go right. You don’t have a fallback, you don’t have some ace in the hole to pull out if it goes bad. And even if you try, it still won’t bring any of them back. Do you understand me, Fort? None of them.”
I’d never told her about Brian and Jill, but I realized in that moment that Suzume knew about them, and had known about them this whole time.
“I have to find her,” I told her, needing her to understand. “It’s not about guilt or wanting to be some kind of hero.” I reached up to press my hands over hers, to feel the warmth of those long fingers that seemed so capable of trickery and violence. She was the reason that Phillip was dead, the whip that had driven me to go to Prudence’s house when I thought that nothing could ever have made me go there. I knew all too well how much I needed her to understand why this was so important, and why I needed her so badly. I thought about Amy from the newspaper photo, in the baseball uniform, with blond ponytail, freckles, and coaxed smile. “She’s only nine, Suze,” I said, trying to put it into words. “I was nine when Prudence killed my parents…it was like she’d destroyed my whole world. And that’s what is happening to Amy right now. I can’t just turn my back on her. Not when I can try to do something. If I don’t do anything, then it’s like I helped kill her. Do you understand?”
I pressed harder at her hands, knowing it was too tight, but pushing anyway. I wanted to leave her handprints on my face. Her eyes were so beautiful, dark and perfect, and looking into them I finally said what had been gnawing at me. “What if I hadn’t let go of Maria?” I asked. Suzume’s face immediately turned stormy, and she tried to free her hands, but I held on, pushing it. “What if I’d just held on to her arm? What if I hadn’t given up on her?”
“Nothing would’ve changed, Fort,” Suzume said fiercely. “It all would’ve ended the same damn way.”
“But you don’t know that. I don’t know that. If I’d forced it, pushed it, thrown a goddamn tantrum like a two-year-old, maybe he would’ve given in. Maybe she’d be alive. You can’t say that it was impossible. I could’ve tried harder. I could’ve saved her.”
Suzume pushed harder, forcing down my hands. I could feel the loss the moment her palms no longer touched my face. She pulled back, away from me. I reached out, tried to touch her, but she got up too quickly, and was out of my reach.
“Suze,” I said. “I need you. Please. I need your help.”
There was a small moment of hesitation, but I knew when she’d made her decision, because her face hardened, became certain. She reached down behind the futon and picked up her duffel, which she must’ve put behind there when I was in the bathroom. It was full again, stuffed nearly to overflowing. She’d packed up.
“Please, Suzume.” I got off the couch, following her as she walked to the door. My voice raised, and I yelled at her as her hand touched the doorknob, “Goddamnit, Suze, don’t leave me!”
She paused again, then turned to look at me, and her face was a stranger’s. I’d already extended a hand to grab her shoulder, but now I pulled back, not touching her. “Despite what my cultural heritage might suggest,” she said coldly, “I’m not a fan of kamikaze missions. Do what you think you have to, Fort, but you’ll do it alone.”
I felt a sharp pain in my chest. A loss, a betrayal.
She walked out, and I watched from the doorway. When she’d reached the end of the hallway and had taken the first step down the stairs, I called to her, “What does nogitsune mean, Suzume? What did your grandmother try to warn me about?”
I could see that my last barb had hit by the way her spine stiffened, and the
sudden tension in her shoulders and arms. She froze for a second, then replied without turning around. Her voice was flat, but I could hear her suppressed anger. “It means field fox, Fort. It means to be without kindness, to just be a trickster, a nuisance, a danger. It means not caring about consequences. It means to have to live outside the human cities.” She paused, and I could see her take a deep breath. “But it also means to value your own survival. And Amy Grann is not worth risking my life for.”
I watched her walk down the stairs. Then I went back into the apartment and looked out the window.
Suzume exited through the front of the building. There was a cab already waiting at the curb, and she got into the backseat. That made it hurt even more—that she’d known even before she started talking to me that she was leaving, that she’d already called her cab. She’d been that sure that nothing I said could possibly have changed her mind, that there was no reason in the world worth staying with me. I watched as the cab pulled away, merging into traffic and disappearing around the corner.
She never looked back. Not once.
I still waited. I waited for five minutes, for ten minutes. I waited because I still hoped that this was a joke, a prank. That she would slink her way in through the door and laugh in my face, mock me for my lack of faith in her. And so I clung to my belief that she would be back.
Ten minutes turned to fifteen, and the truth began to sink in. At half an hour, I accepted it. She wasn’t going to be coming back.
I was on my own.
Chapter 10
Suzume was gone.
I was on my own.
Those two thoughts chased each other around in my head. I sat on the futon, still reeling at the realization that Suzume had really left me, that it had really just happened. She’d just packed her bag and walked out. I had to reconsider everything that had happened today after I realized that Amy was alive. All those moments that I thought had been Suzume beginning to respect me more, to treat me more as an equal and less like the village idiot—those long quiet drives, her insistence that I talk to Prudence—they’d really been about her cutting her ties to me, deciding that the money Madeline was paying her wasn’t worth the bother and risk of sticking around with me.
Generation V Page 20
