“Not true.”
“Of course it’s true,” she snapped. “My mistake was playing into it. I was afraid to tell you how I really felt because I thought you’d shut me out even more if you knew.”
His eyes narrowed. “Knew what?”
“I should have told you in California, when I realized it for the first time,” she admitted. “I love you, Toby. I’m in love with you.”
“I don’t want to hear this.”
“Too bad,” she said. “You need to.” Naomi shook her head and stared up into his eyes, willing him to see the truth. “I’m not going to pretend anymore. I love you. If you don’t believe me, I can’t do anything about that.
“But I knew you’d react this way, and that’s why I didn’t tell you. I thought I could wait, that you would eventually come to love me back.” She cupped his face in her palms and held on when he would have shaken her off. “I’m not so sure of that now, and you know what? I’m not going to wait for crumbs, Toby. I deserve more. We both do. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me. Doesn’t believe in me. Doesn’t love me.”
Turning around, she walked to the door, hoping with every step that he would stop her. Ask her to stay. But it didn’t happen, and disappointment welled up inside her until it dripped from her eyes.
She paused briefly at the threshold to look back at him. So tall, so strong, so determined to cut himself off from love. Sadly, Naomi told herself she had nothing to gain by staying except more pain—and she’d had enough of that for one day.
“Congratulations, Toby,” she said sadly. “You found a way out of this marriage, and you convinced yourself it was my fault. A win-win for you, right? You’re using my stupid meeting with Gio as your excuse to not have to feel. It’s easier that way. If you hold yourself back, you don’t risk anything.”
“Why did you meet Gio, then?”
She smiled sadly. “You should have just asked me that first, Toby. You should have trusted me. Believed in me. But you didn’t. This marriage was a bargain. An act. But that’s not enough for me anymore. I want it all. Or I don’t want any of it. I deserve more. So does my baby.” She took a breath and let it out. “Toby, so do you.”
She didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, she walked out, grabbed her purse off the hall tree in the entryway, then left the ranch, closing the door quietly behind her.
Eleven
“She’s right, you know.”
Toby looked over at his sister as she gave one of his pregnant mares a checkup. “Figures you’d say that. You’re female.”
Scarlett bit back a smile. “True, females are far more logical than males, but even a man should be able to see the truth here. You’re just not letting yourself.”
Why the hell had he talked to Scarlett about this? Answer? He hadn’t slept, and he’d been on edge since the day before, when Naomi walked out, left him standing in his office, more alone than he’d ever been in his life. Temper still spiking, he’d roamed through his house like a ghost, haunting every room, seeing Naomi wherever he looked. Maybe she was the ghost, he corrected silently.
Either way, he felt like his head was going to explode with all the thoughts running through it. Then Scarlett had shown up, and he’d blurted it all out before he could stop himself. He and his sister had always been close. He’d expected some support. Instead, he was getting his ass kicked. Figuratively speaking.
Stubbornly, though, he reminded his sister, “She went into Houston to meet that sleaze Gio and didn’t bother to tell me.”
“Did you give her a chance to when you came home?” Scarlett asked. “Or did you just jump down her throat with accusations?”
He frowned and asked himself when Scarlett’s loyalties had shifted to Naomi. Female solidarity? Made a man feel like he was standing outside, pounding on a door for someone to notice him.
When he didn’t answer, Scarlett said, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“I saw the picture, Scarlett,” he argued, remembering that hard punch to the gut that had hit him when he first saw the photo Maverick had sent him.
“You saw exactly what that bastard Maverick wanted you to see,” she corrected.
He looked at her and waited, because he knew she wasn’t finished.
“Damn it, Toby, that guy’s been creating chaos all over Royal for months and you know it.” She smoothed her hands up and down the mare’s foreleg to make sure the strain she’d suffered a few days before was healing well. When Scarlett stood up again, she said, “You reacted just the way he wanted you to. My God, could you be any more predictable?”
That was irritating, so he didn’t address it. “Maverick’s been hitting people with truth, hasn’t he?”
“Uh-huh. The truth was, she met with Gio. She didn’t fling herself at him and run off to the closest hotel room. You’re the one who filled in that blank.”
He scowled at her, but she didn’t stop.
“And you know, Maverick hit Naomi with truth and you stood by her.” Tipping her head to one side, she stepped around the mare, running her hand across the animal’s back as she moved. “You think maybe Maverick might have been ticked that she didn’t fall apart? That her life wasn’t ruined by his vicious little attack? You think it bothered the hell out of him that you went riding to the rescue?”
He scrubbed one hand across his jaw. His brain started working even through the sleep-deprived fog, and he had to admit that she might have a point. “Maybe.”
“Uh-huh. And maybe he was mad enough to go after you this time? To get you to turn from Naomi so she could be as crushed as he’d planned in the first place?” She leaned her forearms on the stall’s half door and looked up at him. “And then you, being male and not exactly logical when it comes to the women in your life, react just like he wanted you to.”
Well, if any of that was true, it was damned annoying. Toby hated the thought that he’d done just what Maverick had wanted him to do. Hated being that predictable. He remembered the look in Naomi’s eyes and wondered if Scarlett was onto something. Had his sister instantly understood something that he’d been too blind to see? Then Scarlett started talking again, and he was feeling less magnanimous toward her.
“Naomi was right about you and Sasha.”
He shot her a single, hard look. “Leave it alone.”
“Yeah, that’s gonna happen,” she said with a laugh as she swung her hair back from her face. “You know Mom and I were worried about you when Sasha took off.”
He did know that, and it didn’t make him feel any better to recognize it. Sure, he’d taken it hard, but anyone would have. He remembered his family trying to make him see that Sasha leaving was the best thing that could’ve happened to him. But he hadn’t been willing to admit that then.
“Yeah, so?”
“Naomi was the one you turned to back then.”
“I know that, too.” He remembered how Naomi had drawn him out of the dark fury that had held him in a grip for weeks after the woman he thought he’d loved left with another man. She’d stuck by him no matter what he’d done to make her leave. She’d stayed to be insulted when he was rude to her.
Naomi had just flat refused to leave him alone to brood. Instead, she’d dragged him out to the movies, to dinner, to picnics. He’d remembered how to laugh because of her. And eventually, he’d admitted that it hadn’t been Sasha he had missed, but the idea of her. Of a wife. Family.
“But you’re still holding on to what Sasha made you feel, Toby.”
“The hell I am.” He brushed that aside, stepped back and opened the stall door so his sister could exit. When she was out, he closed and locked the door behind her.
Sunlight speared through the open stable door to form a slash of pale gold along the center aisle. The scent of hay and horses was thick in the air, but it didn’t
give Toby the sense of peace it usually did. Hell, there was never peace when Scarlett was on a tear.
“You don’t even realize it,” his sister said, “but ever since that woman, you’ve looked at everyone else like you’re just waiting for them to turn on you. To prove themselves dishonest. Untrustworthy.”
He shifted uneasily. He was long since over Sasha, but the lesson she’d taught him had remained fresh. “So being cautious is wrong?”
“That’s not cautious, Toby,” she said, laying one hand on his chest. “That’s cowardly.”
“Oh, thanks very much.” He turned and headed for the next stall, opening it for her and holding it even when she didn’t step inside.
“What would you call it if someone refused to care again because they might get hurt? Refused to trust again because they might be let down?”
He wanted to say careful, but he was afraid she had a point.
“Naomi loves you.”
“How the hell do you know that?” he demanded. “She only told me last night.”
“And you let her leave anyway?” Scarlett’s eyes went wide in astonishment. “God, you really are an idiot. Of course she loves you. She always has. If you weren’t such a stubborn male, you would have noticed it on your own.”
She walked into the stall and slammed the door closed behind her.
“Love wasn’t part of our deal,” he argued, even knowing it was weak.
“Love isn’t a bargain, Toby. It’s a gift. One you just returned.” She shook her head again and turned away to do another physical on the next mare. “Idiot.”
Toby watched her but stopped listening to her frustrated muttering. He had a feeling it wasn’t real flattering to him anyway. And maybe he didn’t deserve flattery. Maybe he was the idiot his sister had called him.
And maybe, he thought in disgust, he’d tossed aside something he should have been fighting for.
* * *
When her cell phone rang, Naomi grabbed it, hoping to see Toby’s name on her screen, and felt a swift stab of disappointment when it wasn’t him. She answered on a sigh. “Hi, Cecelia.”
Her friend started talking in a rush. “Naomi, you remember that guy Gio you told me and Simone about when you came home from that big fashion show?”
Naomi rolled her eyes and dropped into a chair. Curling her feet up underneath her, she said wryly, “Yes, I remember him.” Just saw him yesterday, she wanted to add but didn’t. “What about him?”
“I was watching that gossip channel on cable just now, and he’s all over it.” Cecelia paused for dramatic effect. “Can I just say wow? You didn’t tell us how pretty he is.”
“He’s not that good-looking in person,” Naomi assured her. Especially, she added silently, when you added in his personality. His character. Compared to Toby, Gio Fabiani was simply an attractive waste of space.
“Well, he looks good on camera,” Cecelia said. “Except he’s not looking real happy right now.”
Naomi sighed again. She was tired, since she’d been up half the night reliving that argument with Toby. And the other half of the night, her dream self had done the same thing.
This morning, she’d been on the phone handling dozens of things, all the while letting the back of her mind work on what she would say to Toby when she talked to him again. Because they were going to talk. She wasn’t going to let him end what they’d just so recently found because of a stupid lie. Should she have told him about meeting Gio? Sure. In hindsight, it was perfectly clear. But at the time, she’d been trying to handle things on her own. Clear up her past and set up her future. Why was that so hard to understand?
Resting her head against the back of the chair, she stared up at the ceiling and asked listlessly, “Why’s he on the news?”
“Get this,” Cecelia said, clearly settling in for a good gossip session. “There are three different women suing him for child support.”
Surprised, but somehow comforted by the fact that she wasn’t the only foolish woman to have landed in Gio’s bed, Naomi chuckled a little to herself. “Really?”
“Oh, yeah, apparently it’s huge news in Italy. He even left the country to get out of the spotlight for a while.”
“If he’s on the news, doesn’t sound like that plan worked.”
“I know, right? And you know what’s weird?” Cecelia asked, and didn’t wait for an answer. “Some photographer caught him at the airport in Houston. He was running to catch a plane headed to England. He was right here in Texas. Can you believe it?”
And now he was gone, Naomi thought with a pleased smile. Obviously, he’d taken what she said to heart and wasn’t waiting around to see if she’d change her mind. “Well, I hope those women catch up to him.”
“I think they will,” Cecelia said. “He’s got to go home sometime, right? Anyway, I just thought it was weird, seeing him on TV and knowing you’d met him—”
“It is weird.” Beyond weird. But it explained why Gio had been desperate enough for money to give extortion a try. The upside here was, with three other women and children to worry about, the man would certainly be willing to sign over his parental rights, so that was good for Naomi and her baby.
Cecelia was talking, but Naomi was only half listening. Instead, she was thinking about Toby. Maybe she should have stayed at the ranch last night and just had it out with him. But he’d hurt her, damn it. Hurt her by dismissing her when she told him she loved him. It had been a big moment for her, opening herself up like that, and he hadn’t believed her.
Hadn’t trusted her, and that, she thought, hurt most of all. He’d been waiting, or so it seemed to her, for Naomi to let him down. To prove that what they had couldn’t be counted on. Scowling, she thought about the night before, and then something dawned on her.
A part of his mind and heart had been convinced that she would leave him. Walk away. To protect himself, he’d held back, committing to a marriage he didn’t believe would work so that when it failed, he wasn’t blindsided by it.
With a jolt, Naomi sat up straight. And what had she done? Walked away in the middle of an argument. She’d walked away. Just as he’d expected her to do. “Oh, God.”
“Naomi, are you even listening to me?”
She winced. “Sorry, Cec, I’m just really distracted.”
“Everything okay with you and Toby?”
She hesitated and almost lied but didn’t want to get into the habit, so she said only, “It will be. We’re just working out a few things.”
Like our lives.
“Oh, I totally get it. Between weddings and babies and the rush of hormones...we’re all half-crazed these days. I’ll let you go, sweetie. I just wanted to tell you about that Gio guy.”
“And I appreciate the update,” Naomi said. “We’ll talk soon.”
When the call ended, she stood up and walked through the condo, realizing that this wasn’t her place anymore. Her place was with Toby. Whether he knew it or not.
Grimly, she turned her phone on and made a call. When a woman answered, she said, “Scarlett, this is Naomi. Where’s your brother?”
“An hour ago, he was at the ranch, and he was pretty damn crabby, too.”
Naomi smiled. “He’s about to get a lot crabbier.”
“Yay!”
Naomi drove straight to the ranch, telling herself if he wasn’t there, she’d wait. She wasn’t going to leave again without making him see the truth of what they had. What they could have. And if she’d just stayed right there last night, they’d be through this already. Mental note: no more walking out.
Her hair twisted wildly in the wind blasting through her open window. The Texas summer sky was a brassy blue with only a few stray clouds drifting aimlessly, looking lost and alone in that vast expanse. There was no traffic on the road, so she pushed the car as f
ast as she dared. The baby was moving around excitedly, almost as if he or she knew they were headed home. Naomi smiled fiercely and caught her own eye in the rearview mirror.
She was going to make Toby listen. Make him believe. Make him love her as much as she loved him. Naomi had waited for love her whole life, and she wasn’t going to settle for less.
Gravel flew up from behind her tires as she took the long drive to the ranch. Her gaze swept the familiar, looking for Toby, and then she spotted him, getting into his truck.
“Oh, no,” she murmured, “you’re not leaving yet.” She pulled to a stop directly in front of the truck, blocking him from leaving. Then she threw the gear into Park, jumped out and walked toward him with long, determined strides.
* * *
Toby’s breath caught in his throat. When he saw her car flying down the drive, he thought he’d never seen anything that beautiful. She was coming home on her own. But now, watching the woman who held his heart, he had to admit that she looked both gorgeous...and dangerous. There was fire in her eye, and what did it say about him that he found that damned sexy?
It was so good to see her. To catch her scent on the wind. He wanted to tangle his hands in that thick hair of hers, slant his mouth over hers and feel that rush of rightness that always went through him when they were together.
Since she walked out the door yesterday, he’d felt only half-alive. Through his anger and pain, there was a constant ache for her. In spite of distrusting her, he wanted her. In spite of everything, he’d missed her.
And after talking to Scarlett today, he’d realized that he’d handled that talk with Naomi all wrong. He hadn’t even listened to her, because he’d been so wrapped up in the surety that he’d been right to keep his heart locked away.
But he was wrong. About all of it. And it was long past time she heard everything he’d been keeping inside.
“You’re not leaving, Toby,” she said when she was close enough.
“No need to now,” he said affably, one corner of his mouth lifting as her eyes spit fire at him.
A Texas-Sized Secret Page 15
