by Brandi Evans
Take them. The voice was back. End your pain.
“I won’t take them.” Lyndi shook her head, telling the voices, telling her sister, telling herself.
Yes, you will. You’re pathetic. You won’t be able to keep from taking your life this—
“Flush them now,” Mari interrupted. “Okay? While you’re still on the phone with me.”
Take them now.
Fuck, it was too much!
Lyndi dropped the phone and ran.
She didn’t run toward the bathroom upstairs, where the pills sat on a shelf in the back of her medicine cabinet. She ran for her car. She needed to get out of there. She couldn’t wait for Mari. She needed to go to the harbor.
The clattering clack of keyboard keys tickled Seth’s ears. Dozens of people in white lab coats moved about the room, and millions of dollars worth of high-tech machines—automated analyzers, spinning centrifuges, and the like—hummed as they worked.
His new target worked in a research lab? But just what was the man researching? Seth couldn’t carry out this personal mission until he’d figured out how this scientist’s particular puzzle piece fit into the greater picture of mankind’s existence.
Okay technically, he didn’t need to know the answer to arrange the man’s death—lab accident, tumble down the stairs, whatever—but the Guardian in him did. Especially given the fact the target had not one but two Guardians bracketing him.
The two angels, one male and one female, couldn’t sense Seth while he was cloaked in Angel of Death camouflage—one point in his favor, minus one for his target.
They stood with their backs to Seth, giving him a spectacular view of their massive white wings as they shimmered with the Divine’s light. Divine light was the radiance that burned inside all angels, the outer reflection of their inward love and devotion to the Divine and to those they protected.
All the Fallen had lost their radiance when they’d been banished—Seth was no exception. After his banishment, he’d been broken, conflicted, angry. At the Divine, at Kaia, at the Dark One for starting the damn war in the first place, but mostly, at himself. That sour darkness in his soul had overpowered the light.
Something Lyndi had said to him the night they met came roaring back to him. “We all have to fight everyday to keep the lightness in our souls greater than the darkness, lest the darkness overtake us.”
She hadn’t known how true that statement was.
That old familiar pang of sadness thudded to life in his chest. A few days ago, he would have done anything to get his wings back. Now? That dream was nothing compared to his burning desire to make sure Lyndi stayed safe and breathing.
His target studied a computer screen. Seth couldn’t make out what occupied the monitor, so he moved closer. Graphs and charts about neutralizing antibodies’ responses, detailed B cell—
Fuck.
This was AIDS vaccine research. Was it possible that sometime during this man’s lifetime—this gangly, bottle-eyed-glasses scientist—he’d make a major breakthrough in the quest for an HIV/AIDS vaccine or cure?
Everything made sense now. Why Campbell had two Guardians—and great, Seth was back to referring to Campbell by his name—and why the demons wanted him dead. Worldwide, about five-thousand people died daily from the virus. If Campbell was on the verge of stomping out—or stumbling onto one of the critical components that would help someone else stomp out—one of the biggest killers on the planet. That would explain why he was heavily guarded and why the demonic forces wanted him taken out.
Seth’s heart broke. Campbell was too important to humanity to kill.
Acknowledging the man’s importance got in the way of what Seth needed to do for Lyndi, for them, for their future. But how was he supposed to go through with murder, knowing how many people would be doomed because of his selfish act?
On the flip side, how was Seth supposed to live with himself knowing the breakthrough of the century cost Lyndi her life?
He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to let Lyndi die, but he wouldn’t doom the world either. There had to be another way.
The damn demons had him by the balls.
The bastards and their well-thought-out plans. They could have attempted to torture Lyndi to death without her name ever getting put on the death list. Oh, it’d wind up there, when they pushed her hard enough. By making sure she was put there now, it forced Seth to act with haste. To make him act before his heart caught up with his conscience.
If he could figure out how Kaia’s boss had managed to fool an Angel of Death, then surely Lyndi’s name would be deleted from the death list. Surely! But he’d have to act fast. Every minute Lyndi was alone with Kaia or one of her coworkers put her one step nearer to Redemption Harbor Bay and the lighthouse where she would commit suicide.
As much as it pained him, he couldn’t stop to protect her from the demonic mind games now. His biggest priority had to be removing her name from the list. If not, she’d be assigned to someone else’s list, and Seth would be stripped of his Angel of Death powers, which meant he’d lose the ability to help her altogether.
That, he couldn’t let happen.
He’d have to push and prod and most likely break every law in the Death Code to get to the truth. If his quest cost him his chance to return to Heaven, then so be it.
Seth pressed his hand to his heart. He’d finally found something greater than his pursuit for heaven. The pursuit to save the woman he loved. The pursuit for love itself.
He dropped to his knees, bowed his head, and for the first time in longer than he could count, prayed to the Divine. At this point, he didn’t know what else to do.
“Please, Lord, I need your help. I’ve screwed up, and now, an innocent woman’s going to die because of it.” He didn’t elaborate. This was the Divine. He would know the details. “Show me a way to help her. I don’t care what it costs me. Just please don’t let her die because of a mistake I made.”
The female Guardian moved, drawing Seth’s gaze. She turned her face upward, her eyes closed. She was receiving instructions from above.
Maybe the Divine was onto him and the plot the Dark One had contrived with Kaia’s help.
To be on the safe side, he should transport to safety. The Fallen should always flee when He was pissed, at least if they valued their pitiful existence, but the angel’s beauty transfixed Seth. Her flowing, blonde hair and glowing skin shimmered even brighter while in communication with the Divine. The look was one of pure peace.
Suddenly, she turned her angelic face on him. Fear exploded in Seth’s chest. How could the angel see him when he was cloaked?
She hovered toward him, hand extended, face neutral. “Come with me, brother. He would like a word with you.”
Nine
Seth stood alone in the center of the Solium, the Divine’s inner sanctum. Being here was like being in the middle of nothing. Shimmering whiteness stretched indefinitely in all directions. No chairs, no throne.
Nothing.
Seth had never been here, even as an angel. Fuck, this couldn’t be good.
To his knowledge, the last angel summoned had been Lilith. The Divine had brought the Dark One here to pronounce judgment on her and her minions of the damned.
For the life of him, Seth couldn’t figure out why he’d been called now. Couldn’t be because of Kaia’s plan; he hadn’t gone through with it. The Divine would know that. Besides, if He wanted Seth dead, then Seth would be dead. There’d be no reason to summon him.
Was it because of Lyndi? Seth had shown himself without Order, not to one human but to an entire family. The usual punishment would be banishment, but since he was already banished…
Soft, multi-harmonic tones flittered through the Solium. Melodic strains that sizzled and crackled the air, creating sparks of lines and colors that echoed the rise and fall of the mysterious music. The electric colors flittered back and forth through the dimensions. He’d never heard, never seen anything more beautiful in his lif
e.
The tune grew louder. No, not just sound. Singing. The choir was unlike any other he’d ever heard. Like a chorus of hissing serpents—odd yet beautiful—with a roaring fire as accompaniment.
The Seraphims!
Seth dropped to his knees, and his face got very intimate with the floor. The Seraphims were the highest class of angels, the angels closest to the Divine. Each one had six wings and four faces. They were the caretakers of the throne room, and they emitted a fiery glow so fierce no being could look upon them. They remained in eternal song to the Divine, their melody portraying their love and devotion. Most importantly, they were always in the Divine’s presence which meant, He was here.
Awe and fear swirled in Seth’s spiritual body. For a Fallen to be in the Divine’s presence…
This can’t have ever happened before.
“Arise, my child.” The Divine’s voice projected into Seth’s mind and filled him with the softest, purest tranquility he’d ever known, and Seth hesitated before pushing to his feet.
The Seraphims stood around him like sentries, two of their six wings covering the intense fire of their being. But as far as Seth could tell, no one else occupied the room. There was only a dense blanket of fog that had filled the space, slinking around as if it were sentient.
The mist was the Divine.
“My Lord.” Seth dropped to his knees again, his mind not entirely wrapping around what was happening. “I am your humble servant. All that I am is yours.”
The mist swirled around him, like the caress of an invisible lover. “I have watched you over the years. You are a castdown, but you chose not to be like the rest. I am proud of you for that, my son.”
“I’m not worthy of—”
“I love all my children, regardless of their pasts, for no one is perfect, Seth. My love for you has remained steadfast throughout the millennia. Even after you revealed yourself to Lyndi Garrison and her family, for you acted out of a desire to save her life, which proves to me the Guardian in you is still strong and thriving. And you stayed with her because you desired companionship, something you lost because of your choice to distance yourself from the rest of the castdowns. It was your love for this human, your desire to save her but not at the cost of humanity’s future, that has called my attention to a terrible injustice that has befallen my people.”
“Injustice, my Lord?”
“Yes. You see, Triam has aligned himself with Lilith.”
Holy fucking shit! One of his bosses, a fucking Angel of Death, had aligned himself with the Dark One? It all made sense now. How Lyndi’s name had “accidentally” been included on a death list. The demons hadn’t tricked an Angel of Death. They fucking recruited one. Son of a whore.
The Divine’s laughter filled Seth’s spirit. “I see Lyndi’s vocabulary is rubbing off on you.”
Seth bit his bottom lip and bowed deeper. “Forgive me, my Lord.”
“As we speak, an army of Thrones stands in Mourez. Triam will be brought before me and stripped of his Angel of Death powers, a job I’d like to give to you. If you’d accept?”
Seth looked up, his heart thundering, and pressed his hand to his chest. The Divine wanted him? A fallen angel? “You’d give me my wings back?”
“I will give you the powers, yes, but my son, the only person keeping you from getting your wings back is you. Your angelic light has never left you. It has only dimmed since your fall. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Seth shook his head, confusion gnawing on every molecule in his body. All angels radiated a glow from somewhere deep inside, ignited by their love for the Divine and their communion with each other. Angelic song, the spiritual intimacy they shared was on the level of joy and pleasures humans only found while making love.
Making love…
When he’d been intimate with Lyndi, he’d glowed. This was why. He’d thought it was just his non-physical form seeping through, but it was angelic light. An angel’s light was fed by love and communion, and what was more powerful than two souls coming together in love?
“I, uh, don’t understand,” Seth murmured. And wasn’t that an understatement.
“You will, my son. Soon. But now, you must go. Lyndi needs you. Kaia is not happy at how things have transpired. Lyndi’s life is in grave danger.”
Lyndi stared down from the tallest lighthouse in Redemption Harbor Bay. The jagged rocks jutting from the water’s surface seemed as inviting as the waves slapping against the shore or the salty breeze tickling her skin and fluttering the silk material of her robe. So inviting that she considered taking the express route down and ending the madness swirling inside her head.
You’re a complete failure in everything you do. Art. Family. Relationships.
She closed her eyes to block out the voices. Why wouldn’t they let her be?
You’re nothing. You’re a pathetic screw-up.
Yes, she was a screw-up. She’d messed up everything with Seth—that was why he’d left her. She was such an idiot. A guy as Greek-god sexy and sensitive, nearly perfect in every way. No way he would ever settle for someone like her. Who was she fooling?
He’d taken her body when it suited him. Her heart? He didn’t want that. Daryl hadn’t either. Or any of the men who came before. Eva hadn’t wanted her either.
You should do everyone a favor and end your life before you hurt someone else. Just step over the railing and end all the pain.
She shook her head. Damn those voices! Damn their mocking! She couldn’t fucking think straight.
But somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew the voices were right. Everyone would be better off without her. Especially her family. If she hadn’t been such a pain in the ass as a child, rebellious and wild, her dad would never have started drinking in the first place, let alone develop his drinking problem.
Mari…sweet, sweet Mari. She’d still be married if Lyndi hadn’t made it her mission in life to prove what a cheating bastard Paul was. Fuck, she’d probably driven Paul straight into the arms of other women with her constant nagging. She’d made him a cheater.
And Traci…poor Traci. Lyndi had forced Traci to marry a man who, for years, had taken her away from her family just to get away from Lyndi’s destructive presence. She’d been so terrible that even her twin brother, Lawrence, had joined the military so he could get away from her.
Yes, that’s right. Every bit of their despair was. All. Your. Fault. If anyone deserves to be lying lifeless on those rocks below, bleeding, the very life draining from their body it’s you. It’s time. End it now.
Lyndi closed her eyes and climbed over the railing, the metal cool against her legs. Her back to the barrier, she barely had enough room to stand. The ocean wind seemed greater now, fiercer, like one good gust would send her flying.
Do it.
Lyndi took a deep breath, but she didn’t want to die.
Her thought processes blurred, went askew. She closed her eyes. How had she gotten here? The day’s events all seemed fuzzy, as if she’d indulged in lots and lots of booze. Flashes of clarity illuminated previous events. Images and Seth’s words, all without context.
Incredible sex.
“Promise you won’t leave and that you especially won’t go near that lighthouse.”
Seth’s mood change.
“I won’t let you die.”
Daryl’s arrival.
“Promise me! No matter what, Lyn. Don’t. Leave. Your. Studio.”
She wished she could remember how all the damn events connected!
A blast of cool air swirled behind her, followed by a deep male voice. “Lyn, sweetheart, you don’t want to do this.”
Seth was here?
She blinked, started to turn toward him, but the voice in her mind shouted at her, angrier and louder than before. You’ll just hurt him! Send him away. Send him away and jump. Now!
“I can’t, Seth,” she whispered, fearing the voices were right. She didn’t want to cause Seth pain. “I’ll just hurt you.”
“You’ll hurt me more if you don’t turn around.” His voice sounded closer, as if he stood right behind her. “I know this is going to sound strange, love, but the thoughts you’re having right now are not your own.”
“What?” Confusion penetrated the darkness shrouding her brain. Not her voice? “I d-don’t understand.”
“I’ll explain everything, but first, I need you to step back over the railing. Can you do that? For me. For us.”
“Us?” She blinked against despair’s thick fog. “You left me.”
“I left your place, Lyn. I didn’t leave you. I had something to take care of, remember? I always planned on coming back. I’ve fallen for you, Lyndi Garrison. Why would I ever leave the woman I love?”
The woman he loved?
Surely, she’d misunderstood him. “You love me?”
“With all my heart.”
He’s lying to you, the voice said. He’s lying!
Seth’s fingers traced the outside of her upper arm. “You’re irresistible, strong, loving. I could go on and on, but I’d rather show you how I feel. All you have to do is come back to me.”
Was it possible she’d misunderstood his departure? That he did, in fact, love her? She wished she could remember! Her brain was frazzled and short-circuiting.
Seth’s long fingers tightened around her wrist. “Come back to me, Lyn. Please.”
She nodded and turned toward him, but when she came face to face with her lover, she froze. Seth was…was glowing, softly, as if he were lit from behind by the setting sun—only the sun was setting behind her.
The hue was so soft, so subtle that she almost dismissed it. Almost. Shock and disbelief had her taking a step back, but her foot hit open air.
Ten
Seth couldn’t hold her much longer.
Hunched over, arms outstretched, the metal rail of the gallery walk crushing against his underarms, he held tight to Lyndi’s wrist. Her legs thrashed with a terror that reflected the fear squeezing the breath from his body. With each kick, his grip-strength faltered, and the woman he loved came closer and closer to her own demise.
